An excerpt from “At First”:

We became paid professionals of pain.
Specialists in suffering,
Aces of the ache,
Masters of the moan.

An excerpt from “Fugue”:

We added a thousand false steps
To our walk tracker today
Because every step we’ve taken
Has required more than we had to give.

An excerpt from “Another Nautical”:

We, like the water, forget nothing,
Forgo everything.
Words, also like the water,
Are a type of washing.
Through them we cleanse ourselves
Of what we are not.
That is to say, words
Are how we are moored & unmarred.
Let us rouse & roar
Like the ancient beasts we are.

An excerpt from “In the Deep”:

Yes, nostalgia has its purposes—
Transport from the spectered,
The jobs never coming back,
The mothers’ primal screams,
Our children’s minds shuttered from school,
The funerals without families,
Weddings in waiting,
The births in isolation.
Let no one again
Have to begin, love, or end, alone.

An excerpt from “Compass”:

The pain pulls us apart,
Like lips about to speak.
Without language nothing can live
At all, let alone
Beyond itself.

Lost as we feel, there is no better
Compass than compassion.
We find ourselves not by being
The most seen, but the most seeing.
We watch a toddler
Freewheel through warm grass,
Not fleeing, just running, the way rivers do,
For it is in their unfettered nature.
We smile, our whole face cleared
By that single dazzling thing.
How could we not be altered?

An excerpt from “Hephaestus”:

We labor equally
When we fall as when we rise.
Always remember that
What happened to us
Happened through us.

We wonder how close
Can we come to light
Before we shut our eyes.

How long can we stand the dark
Before we become more than our shadows.

“Every Day We Are Learning” (full poem)

Every day we are learning
How to live with essence, not ease.
How to move with haste, never hate.
How to leave this pain that is beyond us
Behind us.
Just like a skill or any art,
We cannot possess hope without practicing it.
It is the most fundamental craft we demand of ourselves.

An excerpt from “Cordage, or Atonement”:

No.
We are the whale,
With a heart so huge
It can’t help but wail.
We can’t help but help.
If given the choice, we would not be
Among the Chosen,
But amidst the Changed.

Unity is its own devout work,
The word we work in,
That leaves us devastated to be delivered.

The future isn’t attained.
It is atoned, until
It is at one with history,
Until home is more than memory,

Until we can hold near
Who we hold dear.

What a marvelous wreck are we.
We press out of our cold
& separate crouching.
Like a vine sprung overnight,
We were reaching & wretched
Upon this mortal soil
& even so we are undiminished.
If just for this newborn day,
Let us take back our lives.

“Life” (full poem)

Life is not what is promised,
But what is sought.
These bones, not what is found,
But what we’ve fought.
Our truth, not what we said,
But what we thought.
Our lesson, all we have taken
& all we have brought.

An excerpt from “_____[Gated]”:

Never forget that to be alone
Has always been a price for some & a privilege for others.

We have yielded
Centuries of sidewalk,

…

To be kept to the edges of existence is the inheritance of the marginalized.

“Rose” (full poem)

Riots are red
Violence is blue
We’re sick of dying
How ’bout you

An excerpt from “We Write”:

We write
Because you might listen.
We write because
We are lost
& lonely,
& you, like us,
Are looking
& learning.

Today marks my 11^th year working at George Mason University Antonin Scalia Law School. As Director of Design and Web Services, I wear many hats, but my main focus is the law school website. It feels as if I had adopted and raised my own child and watched it grow from a toddler to a teenager.

When I first inherited the site from my predecessor, I had never worked with MODX before. The site was still running on the old codebase from MODX Evolution. To familiarize myself with the platform, I ripped the site apart and built everything from the ground up. I cleaned up the back-end codes and made sure the front-end markups were well structured. At the time when responsive design was still new, I implemented responsive layout starting with mobile first and progressive enhancement.

All the work I put in from the start had paid off in the long run. As the site grew over the years with countless iterations and several redesigns, the solid foundation on the backend, the clean markups on the frontend, and the visual presentation never spawned out of control. Under my watch, I maintained and nurtured every part of the site. I valued our visitors and respected their privacy. I pushed back when being asked to implement third-party trackers, including Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and Google. I enhanced the user experience based on user studies, accessibility guidelines, and usability recommendations. I improved the design with new technologies such as CSS Grid and web fonts. I worked with developers to upgrade from MODX Evolution to MODX Revolution. I worked with the MODX team to migrate to MODX Cloud.

The site had been through different visions from three deans. The first dean and my supervisor gave me the freedom to shape the look and feel of the website. The second dean entrusted me to build a branding system for his vision: Learn. Challenge. Lead. Based on the University’s branding guidelines, typefaces, and colors, I implemented bright colors, bold typography, and inviting graphics. The site was vibrant and distinctive, yet still compliant with the Mason branding. The third and current dean wanted to tone down the look and feel. We went through several redesigns and ended up with what we have now.

Designing and developing the law school website has been not only my profession, but also my passion. I loved the web when I first discovered it many years ago and that love hasn’t changed. Between my professional and personal projects, I want to continue to make the web a better experience without tracking, wasting time, and frustrating users. my hope is to continue to maintain and to grow the law school website for many years to come.

Over the weekend I had an opportunity to experience being a single dad for the first time. Even though my wife had planned a weekend trip with her family for a while, she was still not sure if she could leave a forty-four-year-old kid taking care of her precious boys, especially her four-year-old. I reassured her that they would be fine. I won’t let them die. At least I wouldn’t starve them to death.

Truth be told, I was a bit worried about my four-year-old boy since he had not been away from his mom since birth and he still wanted to be breastfed at night. To make the transition easy, I took off work on Friday to spend time with him. We checked out Luv 2 Play. It’s a decent paid indoor playground with a small arcade section. As soon as Vương spotted his favorite dinosaur-shooting game, the rest of the playground area was useless. We managed to stay for an hour and left for the skatepark. He met another boy his age and they clicked instantly. They ran around the ramps while I bladed. When it was time for us to go to pick up Đạo, I told Vương to say goodbye to the new friend. As I bent down to pick up my phone and water bottle, I heard the boy’s mother let out a shocking sound. I didn’t know what went on, but I saw the boy’s father holding Vương’s shirt. I completely missed the incident when the boy pushed Vương down the ramp. Luckily the father grabbed a hold of him. The mother let out a sigh of relief and said to me, “It’s time for us to go. When they get tired and sleepy they started acting stupid.”

We went to pick up Đạo, then Đán and Xuân. We went back to the skatepark again because Xuân wanted to scooter with his scooter buddies. We spent about an hour at the skatepark and headed straight to H-Mart for dinner before Scouting activities. After Scouting, we went over to Tea-Do for boba tea and Street Fighter. We came home around 9:30 pm, showered, and had an instant noodle party. The boys were completely exhausted by midnight. Vương kept tossed and turned. I asked him, “What’s wrong?” He replied, “I want mama back.” I held his hand and rubbed his back until he fell asleep.

I woke up around 6:30 am on Saturday to make lunch for Đạo. He had a hiking trip with his Scout Troop. I dropped him off at 7:30 am and went back home to clean up the house a bit. Đán woke up early and jumped on his computer. I made him fold all the clothes before he could play. Then I made breakfast for the three boys. Around 10 am, we left for the skatepark in Alexandra then the huge playground in Fairlington. We stopped by Bon Chon Chicken around 1:00 pm for lunch. I texted a Scout parent to see if he and his family wanted to join us for sushi dinner. He texted me back saying he was busy, but I could come by for a beer. I brought over more Bon Chon Chicken to his house. His two daughters, around Đán’s age, were great with kids. Vương loved spending time with them. We didn’t get back home until 11 pm. The boys were once again exhausted from a full day of activities. Vương cried, “I want my mama.” Five minutes later, he fell asleep.

The boys didn’t wake up until 10 am on Sunday morning. We went to Silver Diner for brunch, a skatepark to burn off our calories, an outdoor playground, and boba tea again. We went home afterward and relaxed until my wife came home around 4 pm. We survived. I had a fantastic time with the boys. Of course, it would have been much better with her, but she needs to take a break from the boys once in a while. I definitely encourage her to take more trips to spend time for herself. She deserves it.

Reading Forché’s poems felt like learning to read English when I first came to America. I read the words but didn’t understand the meaning. Needless to say, I was lost in a poetry of of words. The only poem I understood is “Hue: From a Notebook.”

Pullin’ the covers back, I expose what you disguise
My presence is felt, the pressure is on
A 4-11 Cuban helped us weather the storm
Pyrex and powder, it was back to the norm
Through all the adversity, the fury was born

Pusha T (An excerpt from “We Got It for Cheap”)

I read this collection in one sitting. I didn’t get too much out of it. Bidart is the winner of the Pulitzer Prize for poetry; therefore; his work must be good. I’ll reread this collection again, but I also found something I like from “The Moral Arc of the Universe Bends Toward Justice”.

Minhaj had excellent materials in his latest Netflix Special, but his performance borderlined silliness and clowness. If he toned down his acting, I am sure his jokes would still come through. The expensive “Powerpoint presentation” was well-executed. Even though I found his delivery distracting, his writing was solid. Stream it.

I had been shied from poetry because I didn’t get it. Lately, I have read more poems online and even started a poetry category on this blog to share poems I liked. Over the weekend, I went to the library to look for poetry books to read and came across Amanda Gorman’s Call Us What We Carry. It’s a beautiful, powerful collection. From politics to pandemic, equality to justice, her writing is sharp and accessible. I didn’t understand everything I read, but I just loved her craft. I am going to get myself a copy so I can reread it and read it with my sons. Of course, I saved my favorite verses.

I have been doing some snowboard training on carpet in my basement. I didn’t realize pre-season training can be done until I came across several YouTube videos. I am learning 10 beginner snowboard skills from SnowboardProCamp. Kevin Pearce breaks down 10 beginner skills including heel edge, toe edge, and hop turn. His “10 Snowboard Tricks for Pre Season Training” is also helpful to learn 180 jumps and butter 180 jumps. I also find 5 Snowboarding Skills You Can Improve From Home” from Snowboard Panda to learn presses, ollies, and nollies.

With these preseason learning, I hope to get myself ready when I hit the snow this coming winter. Since I already invested into all the gears, I have determined to learn snowboarding, but I won’t give skiing though. I still love skiing; therefore, I will do both if I can pick up snowboarding. If not, I will just focus on skiing.

I also keeping an eye on a snowboard package for Xuân since he also wanted to learn with me. We’ll learn together. He’ll pick up the skills much faster than me I am sure. Đán has left me far behind when learned snowboarding together. He is such an athletic though. He could figure things out on his own. I won’t be taking any lessons either. I’ll try to learn on my own through YouTube videos. I think I will learn better that way then having an instructor.

Say tomorrow doesn’t come.
Say the moon becomes an icy pit.
Say the sweet-gum tree is petrified.
Say the sun’s a foul black tire fire.
Say the owl’s eyes are pinpricks.
Say the raccoon’s a hot tar stain.
Say the shirt’s plastic ditch-litter.
Say the kitchen’s a cow’s corpse.
Say we never get to see it: bright
future, stuck like a bum star, never
coming close, never dazzling.
Say we never meet her. Never him.
Say we spend our last moments staring
at each other, hands knotted together,
clutching the dog, watching the sky burn.
Say, It doesn’t matter. Say, That would be
enough. Say you’d still want this: us alive,
right here, feeling lucky.

Ada Limón