Daddy Uncool
On Saturday, all four of our boys wanted to have a sleepover at their cousins’ house. Ðán and his cousin stayed up until 5 am Sunday. They spent most of their time playing video games. I was horrid, but not surprised. When unsupervised, they didn’t know their limit.
At home, I would ask them to turn off their devices and take a break. If they didn’t comply, I would just shut down the entire internet. No one else seemed to be concerned about their digital addiction. Am I over-worrying?
The digital conflicts have decided us. My kids don’t want to spend time with me anymore, and Đán in particular. It hurts me, but I let them make their own choice. I don’t want to be a controlling dad.
I have been going to the skatepark by myself. Even though I am not excited about rollerbi anymore, I need to do some exercise. Xuân has not wanted to tag along. As he’s picking up swimming, he is leaving scooter behind.
As they are growing, they are dropping everything else and spending more time on their digital devices. I am hoping they will stick with the winter sports, but I doubt it. Ðán is getting bored with snowboarding. We used to pay thousands and thousands of dollars for our seasonal passes until I became a snowboarding instructor last year. My pass was free and my family’s passes were almost free. Since they are no longer obligated to go, they will be less likely to go.
It’s a shame that they are taking their privileges for granted. Not too many kids get the opportunity they do. Of course, I loved for them to go. I always had a great time skiing or snowboarding with them, but I wouldn’t feel so bad if they didn’t want to take advantage of the passes I made available to them. Even all of our gears were new. I tuned and waxed them regularly so we could have a wonderful experience on the snow.
My wife always chastises me for making them do things that I wanted to do—going to the skateparks or the ski resorts. She and the kids got me into these sports in the first place. As they got bored and moved on, I just haven’t quit.
I have become an uncool dad for not allowing them to stay on their devices for as long as they wanted. My kids don’t want to hang out with me. That’s OK. I am their dad, not their peers. I am always here and I would do anything with them with the exception of spending hours and hours in front of the screens.