I often take relationships for granted. I don’t know the value of a relationship until I crack it or break it. I had done it with my family members and the people around me. I screwed up time and time again, but family forgives.

My mom and I had countless heated exchanges. We hurt each other’s feelings, but we still love each other. I had a big fight with me oldest sister over family matters, but we are closer now than ever. I had a huge argument with my other sister over money, but we understand each other now. I got into conflicts with my sister-in-law and her husband over the kids, but we are getting along fine now. My poor wife had to put up with me so many times andI am glad she hadn’t left me yet.

I hope this is my last fuckup, but I can’t promise. I hope something positive will come out of something negative. I am forty-one fucking years old and I have yet to learn. My wife is right: I am part of her (ngũ quỷ) the five demons.

The law school runs on MODX for over ten years. We migrate from Evolution to Revolution. MODX is a solid content management system. The infrastructure is robust, flexible, and secured. And yet it has never gained as much traction as WordPress, Drupal, and other open-source CMS. The community remains small.

I have been a bit fearful and skeptical about the future of MODX because my career depends on it. Will it go away if it won’t grow? Whenever I run into issues, I can’t find the solution or support I needed. Even on Twitter, MODX is not too active.

MODX has not made any revolutionary update, but it does a good job of putting out releases that fixed security issues. For the law school site, that is perfectly fine since we don’t do anything crazy, but just maintaining the content. I still wish that MODX is getting more traction so that it doesn’t stay behind. I think what they really need is a Matt Mullenweg for MODX.

Dear sons,

Recently daddy said something not so nice to a family member. It hurt their feelings. Daddy apologized. As you go through life you will make mistakes just like me. The important thing is how you apologize.

Express your wrongdoing and say, “I am sorry.” Own up to your guilt and admit that you were wrong. Tell the person exactly what you did wrong and the impact that you put on them. No ifs (“sorry if I offended you), no blame-shifting (“But you did that”), and no passive voice (“Sorry if you were offended”). Offer what you can do to right the wrong.

Sometimes you don’t know when you are wrong until someone calls you out on it. If that’s the case, just be honest about your mistakes.

This is a short one.

Love,

Daddy

Tôi rất hối hận về những lời viết cẩu thả làm đụng chạm đến người khác. Ước gì tôi đã không viết ra những lời lẽ đáng tiếc đó. Nhưng lời đã thoát ra không thể nào thu hồi lại được. Tôi không có lời bào chữa nào cả. Chỉ cầu mong người tôi làm tổn thương rộng lượng tha thứ.

Vì những lời nói thiếu tự trọng, thiếu suy nghĩ, và thiếu tế nhị của tôi đã khiến cho mọi người phải khó xử. Hôm nay tôi đã xin lỗi. Người thậm tệ hơn chính là tôi. Nếu có thể bù đắp lại tôi sẽ sẵn sàng nhưng chắc đã quá trễ. Tôi không biết rồi đây có còn đối xử với nhau tự nhiên như trước không hay nhưng tôi sẽ cố gắng vượt qua sự ích kỷ của chính mình.

Giờ đây tôi cần phải kiểm soát lại những gì mình viết trên đây. Tuy là blog cá nhân nhưng tôi cũng phải chịu trách nhiệm với những gì mình viết. Không phải nghĩ gì viết nấy nhất là khi đầu óc không tỉnh táo và những lúc thiếu ngủ.

Dù sao gì thì cái blog này cũng là nơi công cộng. Viết blog được 16 năm và càng ngày càng viết về những điều xấu xa nhiều hơn những lời tốt đẹp. Nếu như thế có nên tiếp tục duy trì hay không hay nên dừng lại? Tôi sẽ suy nghĩ về vấn đề này trong những ngày tháng sắp tới.

I struggled to pay attention to a book about resisting attention. Odell packs too much information into 200 pages. Her writing is also dense. It could be that I have been distracted in the last couple of days while reading it. I started to read then put it aside for another book. After picking it up again, I kind of lost the momentum. I still haven’t figured out how to do nothing after reading it.

I am surprised to learn that Triple Strength joined forces with Sharp Innovations in July this year. These two agency bring back so much memories for me.

When I finished in college around 2001, I wanted to work for a web design and development agency in Lancaster and Sharp Innovations was the only one in the area. Its web design was horrible, but I always impressed with its marketing strategy. Joseph Sharp, founder of Sharp Innovations, was a business savvy fellow. I went for an interview and talked with him, but I did not land the position. I don’t remember why it fell through. They probably never called me back.

One day, I found out about Triple Strength and applied for a web design position. When I came for the interview, I was a bit skeptical. The agency was in the middle of nowhere. When I rang the doorbell, all I could hear was a dog parking. As I was about to leave, Lance Dietrich, the founder, came out and greeted me. The studio turned out to be in his home’s basement. I ended up joining them as a part-time web designer. My main responsibility was taking the graphic designers’ Photoshop mockups and sliced them into webpages using Dreamweaver. Hùng Nguyễn was the creative director at the time with Pam, another graphic designer and Lance who was also doing graphic design.

I was with Triple Strength for a couple of months, but I loved the environment. It was a small, creative group. I didn’t know much about typography and I really didn’t have any design skills. Hùng taught me a bit about design here and there. They were going to offer me a full-time position, but the money was not right. I left for Vassar College. Later on when I needed references to apply for new jobs, they were always available for me.

Years later Lance sold Triple Strength to Hùng and now it had merged with Sharp Innovations. It is probably a good thing because Hùng can bring the level of design that Sharp never had. Even today, their web design portfolio is pretty average. I wish them all the success.

Trong hôn nhân tình dục không thể thiếu. Khi kết hôn tình dục cũng có phần trong hợp đồng. Tuy không ký giấy nhưng đó là điều vợ chồng tự cam kết. Dĩ nhiên tình cảm rất quan trọng nhưng tình cảm mà thiếu tình dục thì tình cảm cũng sẽ nhạt phai. Con cái cũng quan trọng nhưng khi tụi nó lớn rồi thì cũng chỉ còn lại vợ chồng.

Với một người đàn ông, nếu như thiếu tình dục trong hôn nhân thì sống độc thân còn hơn. Tình dục trong hôn nhân không phải là sự bố thí. Không phải vì chồng muốn vợ phải chiều. Tình dục không phải là sự hy sinh hay dâng hiến để nắm giữ hạnh phúc. Cho nên tình dục cần bàn luận cho rõ ràng trước khi bước vào hôn nhân. Đừng tưởng tình dục sẽ đến tự nhiên không cần phải nói trước.

Vợ chồng có cãi vã nhau nhưng tình dục vẫn tuyệt vời thì còn có thể ở đời. Còn có hòa hợp nhau lắm mà tình dục không có thì khó vững chắc. Đôi bên cần quyết định càng sớm càng tốt. Đừng để tình dục làm đổ vỡ mái ấm gia đình. Đừng để sự chịu đựng của hai bên phải hao mòn theo thời gian. Đừng để tiếng nói chạm tự ái nhau. Đừng để tình dục trở thành nỗi đau mộng màng.

As I was filling out the survey for my son’s ADHD evaluation, I realized that almost all of the questions can be applied to me.

I don’t pay attention to details I don’t care about. I have difficulty keeping attention to what needs to be done when it is a chore. I have difficulty organizing crap in my house. I do not follow through on instructions and often cut corners. I don’t like to do tasks that required mental effort. I lose shit all the time. I am easily distracted and irritated. I am forgetful on a daily basis. I fall asleep when expected to sit still. I don’t like quiet games. I don’t play games at all. I talk too much shit, which gets me into trouble sometimes. I have difficult waiting, especially when people show up late. I argue with adults. I lose temper. I deliberately annoy people, especially my poor wife. I am touchy and easily annoyed with others. I am both angry and resentful. I am spiteful and do want to get even.

Oh fuck, I think I have ADHD. I am not going to take Adderall. I am not going to let my kid take Adderall. We just need to find a way to deal with the issue. For me, this blog lets me release all the negative tension in my head.

I fucked up. I was wrong. I will apologize. I use this blog as my therapy, in which I write down my problems and issues. At times, I just don’t think about the audience to allow me to be honest on the page. Sometimes that will get me into trouble, which tells me how far I have gone.

In retrospect, I shouldn’t post something with negative impact in the first place, but I wouldn’t know that until I hit the publish button. I own up to my mistakes. I’ll walk it back and deal with the damage. I am not perfect and I learn from my flaws.

I have thought of just blogging about subjects that aren’t so personal, but that would be too boring for me. If I can’t write about my feelings and thoughts, I might as well shut it down. It’s a bit dangerous in pushing and not knowing the limit until it backfires, but it will be a learning experience for me.

I am a human and I am not perfect. I learn from my mistakes and move on.

The results are in and Virginia has flipped blue. I am proud to be apart of this state. Keep this momentum up and we’ll kick that motherfucker out of the White House next year. Ms. Trâm Nguyễn, co-executive director of New Virginia Majority, wrote an op-ed in The New York Times titled “Democrats Could Learn a Lot From What Happened In Virginia.”