What a weird coincidence that I was reading a book titled How We Fight For Our Lives in the midst of a pandemic. Although Jones’s memoir has nothing to do with the danger of the Coronavirus, it has everything to do with the danger of being a gay black boy growing up in Texas. Jones writes:

Being black can get you killed.
Being gay can get you killed.
Being a black gay boy is a death wish.

With his lyrical prose and unflinching honesty, Jones opened up about his body and sexuality. His raw, explicit, violent writing is tough to read, and yet even tougher to stop reading. He confessed:

At times, I was proud of my sluttiness. I liked to think that it was radical, as if the act of fucking another man and then bragging to my friends about it was a form of protest against the shame I’d grown up with, and against the shame I felt silently radiating from the new people in my life.

In addition to his wild sexual lifestyle, Jones writes candidly about his relationship with his mother who raised him herself. She refused to talk about his sexual identity, but she accepted it and supported him. With just 190 pages, Jones managed to write a memoir that is so ferocious, so beautiful, and so damn heartbreaking.

We’re living in a strange, scary time. Today, the weather is beautiful, and yet we are stuck at home. We are still navigating and juggling between working and taking care of our four kids. I don’t know how we will survive for a month or longer, but we have to.

Yesterday I took off work to give my wife the time she needed to put in her “Count Monday.” I did the best I could, but I was exhausted. When I had to take care of the kids by myself, I took them out. Time went by faster when we had fun places to go and good restaurants to eat for me to have a drink or two. As long as we could find those two activities, I could babysit them all day long.

Being trapped at home was a challenge, especially with no iPad allowed on weekdays. Luckily we had my mother-in-law helping us out. Without her, I don’t know how we could do it. With her tremendous help, we managed to get by. Đạo and Đán played with each other. I accompanied Xuân. Vương was naturally attached to his mother, but my mother-in-law tried to keep him away from her while she was working.

Today I set up my home office, which consisted of an iron board to place my MacBook Pro and a stool for me to sit, right inside my bedroom. I usually woke up at five in the morning to read or to write, but I started working this morning instead. I wanted to get as much work done as I could before the kids got up. Around eight, Xuân came over as usual when grandma woke up. I closed my laptop and snuggled with him. I held him in my arms and fell back to sleep. Around nine, everyone was up. I brushed my teeth as well as Xuân’s and Vương’s. I went downstairs and enjoyed eggs and bread prepared by my personal favorite chef Đán. I sipped some Trung Nguyên instant coffee and headed back to my fancy office.

My wife’s office is in the lounging room, which has a glass door to the deck. While working, she had to come up with fun, creative activities for the kids to do in the backyard. They took out recycle boxes and cans and whacked them with a baseball bat. Somehow they found the physical act satisfying. I took a break and kept an eye on them just to make sure they didn’t whack each other’s on the head by accident. I also made sure that they picked up everything and put them back into the recycle bin.

Around noon, I got hungry and grabbed something from the fridge to eat. My wife prepared lunch for the kids while I fed Vương. As the older boys were having their lunch, she put Vương down for a nap. Witnessing my wife working and taking care of the kids, I have greater respect and deeper appreciation for her role. Unlike my job, her job is based on performance and production; therefore, she can’t cheat her way out of it. Even though she changed to part-time after her last maternity leave, she had to put in the time in order to meet her production. Many late nights, she went downstairs to work while Vương was sleeping. Her love and sacrifice for our family are unmeasurable.

As for Đạo’s and Đán’s continuing home schooling, we haven’t figured out the routine yet. One of Đán’s teachers has been sending us like 20 emails a day. I simply could not keep up with them all. Xuân’s educators are sending us daily activities with videos, but we’re just going with the flow. My only encouragement is read, read, and read. Đạo and Đán have plenty of books I checked out from the libraries to keep them busy if they wanted to. We still have a whole month to figure things out.

Last Friday, I sat down with Xuân’s teachers for a brief parent-educator conference. They reported that Xuân was friendly, communicative, and energetic. He participated in more group activities than before. He shared his ideas and enjoyed meeting time with his friends. He cooperated and helped his classmates and teachers.

He preferred the manipulative and construction areas where he can express his creativity. He spent a long time at the book area reading picture books and telling his friends stories based on the illustrations. Lately, he had been interested in the art and dramatic play areas where he got to explore his crafts.

Areas they were working with him including improving personal boundaries, solving problems on his own, and focusing on some activities. He got distracted easily.

Overall, Xuân was doing well. He seemed to find his groove. In the beginning of the school year, the educators’ constant turnover had a huge impact on the kids. Xuân didn’t want to go to the daycare. Everyday he told me he hated school. When I dropped him off, he wouldn’t let me go. The teachers seemed to be staying, the class had settled down. He told me he loved going to school now and he would say goodbye during drop off.

One of Xuân’s skills his teachers appreciated was his expressive communication. He told them exactly how he felt and what happened when he and his classmates got into conflicts. Xuân had good ears for words. For example, he had been telling me, “Daddy, I want to ride my bike without the stabilizers.” I responded with a surprised, “Stabilizers? Do you mean training wheels? Where did you learn that word?” He smiled and replied, “Yes and I learned it from Peppa Pig.”

From Đạo to Đán to Xuân, what I have learned was that communication is such an essential skill for kids. Most problems can be solved through communication. His mom and I weren’t worried too much about Xuân because he told you exactly what was on his mind. Everyday when I took him to daycare and parked my car outside the gym, he said to me, “Daddy, you need to get some exercise. You’re too fat.” I always laughed and responded, “Thank you for telling me the truth. I will take your honest criticism seriously. You are my motivation and I will drag myself to the gym when I get the opportunity.” I was not sure if he understood everything, but I tried to use my best vocabulary in my sentences for him to pick up. He simply replied, “You’re very welcome.” I am so proud of our Xuânshine.

Dear Ms. M,

We would like to cancel the vacation resort rental booked for the week of April 4 to 11, 2020, which is three weeks from today. Yesterday the government declared national emergency on Coronavirus.

We understand your refund policy, but we hope that you make an exception for this grave pandemic. We made the decision to stop all non-essential travels until the Coronavirus is under control. The outbreak is too risky for us and for our 80-year-old mother in particular; therefore, this vacation will have to be cancelled. Please let us know if we have any options or if we can work something out.

Thank you for taking this serious matter into consideration.

Best regards,

The Truong Family

Lúc lên bốn, Nguyễn Ngọc Ký bị liệt cả hai tay sau một cơn sốt nặng. Dù khó khăn trong cuộc sống hằng ngày, ông phấn đấu không ngừng và đã trở thành Nhà giáo Ưu tú và Nhà văn đầu tiên ở Việt Nam viết bằng ngón chân. Đây là tập truyện ký ghi ấn lại công ơn cha mẹ, thầy cô, và những người thân thương đã giúp đỡ và động lực ông trong suốt cuộc đời của ông. Nội dung của những bài viết rất cảm động nhưng lối diễn văn của ông hơi khô khan nên đọc hơi bị chán.

As the coronavirus silently creeps in, it exposes the incompetence of the president. He can’t lie his way out of this one.

His administration shut down the global-health office in the National Security Council. Insteading of preparing for the pandemic early, he ignored warnings. He boasted that the virus will go away one day. That miracle has not come. He lied that the virus had been contained when it had continued to spread. He lied that testing would be available for everyone when it was not. He lied that the vaccine would be available in a few months when it will take a year or more to develop. He admitted that he cared far more about the numbers than the people’s lives.

Because of his massive leadership failures and constant lies, the American people had to make the decision themselves. Responsible leaders including university presidents, supertendents, state governors, and business owners had bypassed the president to shut down schools, workplace, and activities. We can no longer wait for the guidance from this con artist.

He is unfit for this job and needed to be replaced. We need someone who could handle a situation like this to keep us safe. This incompetent president does not know how to keep us safe.

Cuối cùng Đán chịu ngủ riêng một mình. Nó ôm biết bao nhiêu là mền gối và thú bông với nó. Đạo vẫn ngủ với mẹ và Vương. Xuân thì ngủ với bà ngoại. Thế là tôi được ngủ một mình sau hơn một chục năm ngủ chung với mấy thằng con. Cảm giác rất thoải mái và rất ngon giấc.

Một trong những thất bại của người làm cha như tôi là không tập cho con ngủ riêng. Thấy bọn nó còn nhỏ mà phải ngủ một mình cũng tội nghiệp nên từ nhỏ cả bốn thằng lúc nào cũng ngủ với mẹ để mẹ cho bú. Khi thằng em chào đời thì thằng anh sang ngủ với ba. Có lúc cả ba cha con cùng ngủ chung giường. Tôi thì khó ngủ nên chật chội càng khó nuôi giấc. Tôi biết mình ngáy rất to sợ làm điếc mấy đứa nhỏ nên ngủ chập chờn không ngon giấc. Sáng nào dậy cũng uể oải. Tôi nghĩ mình bị ngưng thở khi ngủ (sleep apnea) nhưng đợi qua vụ Coronavirus rồi mới đi thử nghiệm.

Bây giờ ngủ một mình cảm thấy đỡ hơn nhiều. Trước khi ngủ, tôi đọc sách hoặc viết blog cho đến khi mệt mỏi rồi mới lăn ra ngáy. Có lúc mười hai giờ khuya mới ngủ. Tuy nhiên ngủ một mình hơi cô đơn. Có lúc muốn được ôm tụi nó ngủ nhưng tôi thật sự lo ngại khi mình ngáy quá to. Còn vợ thì đã không ngủ chung giường mười mấy năm rồi. Hơi hám gì cũng quên mất rồi. Tôi hy vọng sau này bọn nhóc lớn lên thì vợ chồng cùng chăn gối trở lại nhưng vợ trách tôi ngáy to quá nên cũng đã thẳng thắn từ chối. Thôi thì từ chối ngủ chung cũng không sao. Từ chối cái khác mới có chuyện.

Like many Black comics, Arnold takes a crack at Black-related issues including parenting, alcohol, marriage, and blowjob. His jokes were raw and raucous. The audience seemed to be entertained. What stood out for me was when he talked about being petty. Arnold is in his 50s and he isn’t afraid to admit that he’s petty. I loathed myself at times for being such a petty. I know it is wrong, but I can’t help myself. Arnold gave us the license to be petty. It’s an enjoyable Netflix special.

For the second iteration of Visual 2020 theme, I reset the typefaces. Main text is anchored in Exchange, by Tobias Frere-Jones. I played a small role in providing Frere-Jones my feedback on Vietnamese diacritics before this typeface released. Headings are set in Bild, by David Jonathan Ross. Bild’s variable font comes in handy for setting various level of headings. For the title of each article, I am making it big. Code excerpt and category are set in Input Mono, also by DJR. I also changed the background color. I went down the rabbit hole a bit on COLOURlovers and I needed to stop. This iteration is not a big departure, but a change to keep the site fresh. These days I don’t do a whole redesign, but small changes here and there. I hope you enjoy this little update until iteration 3. I am not sure when that will be, but pretty sure in three to six months depending on what typefaces I wanted to try out next.

Last week I met up with Molly and she gifted me her beautiful painting titled “The Migration of Eels.” I was honored to accept the invaluable gift my kids helped pick out. They love eels, especially eel sushi; therefore, they immediately gravitated to it. What I love about this particular painting is that her vision of eels are much more colorful than the slimy creatures. If the real eels look like the eels in the painting, people would keep them as pets rather than making sushi with them. I love her imagination and I am glad to see that she is doing what she had always dreamed of. She is much happier than before.

In retrospect, Molly played a key role in my life. When I was working at Vassar College, I went through some tough times until I met someone special. Just as we started dating, she found a new job in Virginia. My heart almost crushed when she told me. I had two choices to make. I either kept working at Vassar College or I needed to find a new job in the DMV area. If I stayed I might lose what we had just started. I applied for web design positions at George Mason University and George Washington University, but I was not too optimistic because higher education always took forever to get the hiring process rolling. To my surprise though, I received a call from someone at The George Washington University School of Business just a couple of hours after I submitted my application. She asked me if I would like to schedule an interview. I came to D.C. to meet with her and some key administrative and faculty members at the business school. The interview process took the entire day. I thought I did well, but I didn’t expect a call the next day offering me a job. She wanted me to give in my two weeks notice at my current job and to come to D.C. as soon as possible. She was aggressive and I had a feeling what I was about to get into.

As I had predicted, our working relationship turned out to be testy at times. She was a challenging boss, but caring and encouraging on the personal level. After three years, the school of business had gone through some major changes. Most of us, especially Molly, were miserable. She was no longer my supervisor and we all answered to a young kid who had no clue about communications and technology. At that point, I knew I needed to move on. I ended up at George Mason School of Law and I have been happy here till this day. Molly went on to other universities including Mason, but she was still struggling to get by. She finally decided to end all of this political nonsense in the working environment and to just paint. She had a degree in painting after all. It is not easy to make a living off painting, but she seems to be doing good. I truly am happy for her.

When we met up last week, she brought a friend with her. We sat in an Irish Pub, drank gin and tonic, and reminisced on the good old days. Her friend was quite a drinker. He washed down two Martinis and countless glasses of wine. I had two gin and tonic and I was buzzing. She made my blush when she told her friend my two sentences of how my wife and I met. She recounted, “She lifted out her hand. He held her hand and she didn’t take her hand back.” Our story reminded her of her grandparents’ love story, which was also told in two sentences. Her grandpa said to her grandma, “I decided to be a priest. Then I met you.”

As we hugged goodbye, she said to me, “I love you, my friend.” I was touched. I realized that I have a friend. Even though we see each other once in a blue moon, I truly treasure our friendship. I suppose we don’t need to see each other often to be friends. Even once in a while is still good—as long as we think of each other. Until we meet again, take good care of yourself, my friend.