Tuy tôi và anh ít trò chuyện với nhau, tôi vẫn luôn kính trọng anh. Tôi không biết cái nhìn của anh về tôi ra sao, nhưng tôi vẫn xem anh như người anh lớn. Anh luôn đặc gia đình trước cả bản thân mình.

Là một người con trai, anh chăm sóc cho mẹ già rất chu đáo và lo lắng mọi điều cho bà. Nụ cười trên môi của mẹ anh chứng toả được lòng hiếu thảo của anh dành cho mẹ. Tôi hâm mộ việc làm này của anh.

Là một người cha, anh luôn yêu thương và chiều chuộng con cái. Anh cho con cái hết tất cả những gì anh có thể cho. Thậm chí anh luôn ăn đồ thừa của con mỗi khi chúng nó không chịu ăn nữa. Đáng tiếc rằng, tụi nó đã trở thành thói quen vì có người sẵn sàng ăn đồ thừa mà khỏi cần vứt thùng rác.

Là người chồng, anh luôn yêu vợ, chiều vợ, và làm mọi thứ cho vợ. Từ chuyện lớn đến chuyện nhỏ, vợ sai gì anh làm nấy vậy mà vẫn luôn bị cằn nhằn. Tôi cũng chướng mắt lắm nhưng chuyện gia đình anh tôi không thể xía vào. Đèn nhà ai nấy sáng.

Anh là một người kính đáo nên tôi cũng không dám tâm sự gì nhiều. Chúng ta quen biết nhau cũng chỉ bất đắc dĩ. Tôi nghĩ anh cũng sẽ không thân thiết gì với tôi nếu chúng ta không cùng chung một hoàn cảnh. Dù duyên hay ép buộc, tôi vẫn luôn quý mến anh như người anh cả.

After discovering water dripping from the copper pipe from the main water line yesterday, I called Ricardo, a handyman I had hired in the past. He came by at noon today to do the job. While having him here, I might as well hire him to not only fix the leaked pipe, but also to replace another pipe with black tape wrapped around, and two water valves for the washing machine.

He charged me $400 for the entire job, which seemed reasonable. It took him about three hours. I also bought the two valves for $16. I observed him while he worked. The job didn’t seem to be that difficult. I probably can do it next time if I don’t have to do the soldering, or I should just learn soldering.

We talked quite a bit and drank some hard coffee. He couldn’t resist the caffeinated drink with a kick. He told me that he is getting his citizenship tomorrow after living 22 years in the U.S. He also shared me his DUI story. He had to pay the lawyer 30 grants to keep him in the U.S. He’s a funny, hard-working man.

I didn’t sleep too well last night for the obvious reason. Even though I knew it was not the end of the world, I still worried. I can’t help it. I am a born worrier. I am glad things are fixed. I need to go to sleep early tonight.

A little over a year ago, I fixed the Samsung dryer’s noise and heat element. In the last few weeks, the noise returned. Last night, I opened it up again and replaced the wheels that hold the bowl. Problem solved.

As I was putting back the dryer, I noticed a wet spot on the floor. The water dripped from the copper pipe from the main water line. I am not going to mess with the soldering; therefore, I called a handyman. He replaced our main water shutoff valve in the past and he did a good job. I’ll ask him to replace the water pipe going into the washer as well. It looks bad too.

Then I have more things to do in the coming weeks:

• Replace the toilet fill valve
• Fix the wood gate
• Wash the sidings
• Do something with the driveway

See why I hate owning a house? I didn’t have to do any of these when I lived in an apartment. I didn’t have to worry about the water flooding my basement or the wind knocking out the trim of the roof. Once the kids moved out, I am going to go back to renting a small space for me and my wife and we just travel most of the time.

Hồi Tết Việt Nam vừa qua, tôi được một người bạn mời đi đám giỗ. Lâu ngày được ngồi nhậu với mấy đồng hương cũng vui. Ba của bạn cũng ngồi cùng bàn nhâm nhi ly rượu whiskey và nói chuyện vui vẻ. Còn bác gái và con dâu loay hoay trong bếp. Vợ anh niềm nở và cũng đùa giỡn với bạn bè trên bàn nhậu.

Tôi quen biết vợ chồng anh cũng đã ba năm qua hướng đạo nhưng không thân lắm. Tôi e ngại làm phiền tuy anh rất nhiệt tình. Anh là trưởng tụi nhỏ trong hướng đạo. Tôi thì chỉ đưa con đến rồi ngồi chờ tụi nó sinh hoạt. Rảnh rỗi tôi ngồi đọc sách hoặc đi rollerblading vòng quanh sân trường. Thỉnh thoảng cũng trò chuyện với phụ huynh khác.

Hai tuần trước tôi ngồi nói chuyện với chị. Tôi nhắc lại lần đó đến nhà anh chị ăn giỗ. Tôi khen chồng chị may mắn vì ở Mỹ mà vẫn có được cô con dâu ở chung với ông bà già chồng. Tôi chợt miệng nói, “Thấy hai bác vui vẻ nên chắc không có khó lắm”. Chị nhìn tôi với cặp mắt kinh ngạc và trả lời, “Cái cục lơ của em nó qua khỏi đầu rồi”. Tâm sự một chút chị rơm rớm nước mắt kể chị đã từng bị depressed.

Thì ra thấy vậy chứ không phải vậy. Tôi đã vô tình chạm đến nỗi đau của chị nên cũng thấy áy náy.

My Dearest Đạo,

I can’t believe our oldest son is turning thirteen today. It still feels like yesterday your mom and I brought you home from the hospital. I could never forget the feeling of how to take care of a tiny baby. What if I just slipped my hands and dropped you to the ground. If you got sick in the middle of the night, what would I do? Fortunately you were strong and resilient. You didn’t give me the anxiety that I had forecasted.

Being the oldest kid is not easy. You have to bear the responsibility of being an oldest brother. You used to complain that life was unfair, but now you seem to accept your role. I can see you are trying your best to care for your younger brothers even though they can get under your skin. No matter what goes on, no matter what happens, just always remember you guys are brothers for life.

Now that you are entering middle school, your academics mattered. My only goal is for you to be happy and for me the only path to happiness that I know of is to keep up your grades. Once you take full responsibility for your education, your mother and I will give you the freedom to be more independent. We don’t want you to screw up your life. With your voracious reading and fast learning, school work should not be too difficult for you. You just need to put in the efforts.

For sports, you love skiing and you are damn good at it. You’ve pushed me to a higher level: double-black diamonds. Today is your last day of the Learn to Play hockey program. You can join a hockey team after today, but I am not sure if hockey is the right sport for you. You are not the aggressive type of player. If you want to join the team, however, we will be more than happy to support you. I am also glad to see you picking up rollerblading again and joining me in aggressive skating.

Soon you will a like a bird flying free from home, but for now, you are still under our wings and we do all we can for you. I enjoyed every moment we spent together. I love you, son, and happy birthday!

Love,
Dad

I hadn’t had the opportunity to spend one-on-one time with Đán, my second son, too often; therefore, I was looking forward to our weekend camping trip together with his Cub Scouts. It turned out to be an enjoyable and memorable experience—at least for me.

Located right next to the skatepark, the Lake Fairfax campsite was a perfect spot for us. The clean family bathrooms were the bonus. On Friday evening around 5:00 pm, Đán and I drove to the campsite to check in and to put up our tent. Thanks to my wife for buying a CORE 6 Person Instant Cabin Tent with Wall Organizer, the setup was intuitive and easy. As someone who can’t put anything together, I guarantee that setting up a CORE tent is stress-free. After getting ourselves situated and setting up the zipline, we headed over to the skatepark around 6:30 pm to rollerblade and grabbed a quick dinner.

We returned to the campsite around 8:30 pm to join other families. While the kids were taking turns on the zipline, the parents gathered around and chatted. The kids and parents headed to bed around 11 pm, but I still sat around and chatted with a leader and another father. Out of all the parents, these two are my type of guys. We didn’t go to bed until 3:00 am in the morning. At night, the temperature dropped and it was too cold to sleep even though we had sleeping bags. Đán came close to me and told me I could hold him if I wanted. I was surprised because he rarely showed his affections. I wrapped my arms around him for a bit, but then I turned to the opposite side so that we didn’t face each other. I didn’t bring my CPAP machine; therefore, I didn’t want to snore right next to him. Still, I couldn’t sleep much.

Saturday was a busy day for the Scouts. They had many activities including setting up the tent, starting the fire, and cooking contest. They had their leaders running all the programs. The parents just observed and cheered them on. While the kids were busy with their activities, I went over to the skatepark for 30 to 45 minutes each time. One of the parents volunteered to cook phở and grilled BBQ. She had always been a great cook; therefore; her food had always been delicious. This time was no exception.

Later in the afternoon, I saw Đán sitting by himself on a rock. He used a stick to tap on the rock. I asked him what he was doing. He told me that he was practicing piano. After a while I asked him if he wanted to join me at the skatepark. He didn’t want to, but he wanted boba tea. I told him to hop in and I took him to Kung Fu Tea, which was about two miles down the road. After that, we joined the pack for dinner. The Scouts had more activities. Because I couldn’t sleep much the night before, I was sleepy and exhausted from skating. I went into our tent to rest and to take a quick nap. The kids were done around 9 something. We hung out for a bit and went to sleep around 11 pm.

We woke up on Sunday, ate breakfast, broke down our tents, joined the closing ceremony, cleaned up our area, then headed out around 10 am. Đán and I stopped by the skatepark before heading home. It was a great trip because we spent time outdoors and close to nature rather than sitting at home on our digital devices. Đán participated in all the activities and he made friends with his group, but he also seemed to be a bit distant at times.

Without his siblings, Đán behaved much better. I was so fed up with his constant fights with Đạo and Xuân. They got on each other’s nerves every five minutes. No matter how many times I explained to them the importance of bonding and getting along with each other, they never seemed to register. I was always upset and irritated to hear them insulting each other and to see them punching one another. At times, I wanted to beat some sense into them, but I knew I couldn’t. Banning them from their digital devices was my only form of punishment. When I was their age, I didn’t spend much time with my sister because she was already way older than me. On occasions she would slap me for doing something wrong. We didn’t have much memories together.

Forty-four years already. Time is moving fast, but life is great. I can’t complain. My wife and I are tighter than before. I still enjoy spending time with my kids. My career is stable for the moment. My health is still decent. I am more active now with skiing and skating. I still read voraciously. I still blog like words just roll off my fingers.

I am still a deeply flawed human being. I have my share of obsessions and even addictions. I am working toward being positive and optimistic. I need to let go of my worries. I want to have more compassion and empathy. I want to be less selfish and more self-control. I want to be more social and to reach out more to friends.

Life is too damn short. I need to treasure every moment of it. I want to live my life without regrets and without looking back to the past. Whatever mistakes I had made in the past, I cannot go back to change them. I can only move forward. I can’t bring my parents back. I can only care for my family and the people who care for me. I can only tend to matters within my control. Nothing else matters.

Adam Phan was my web design student and teacher assistant. He’s a charming and caring guy. In a recent fire incident, Adam lost his home and his belongings. He shares:

To be honest, I’m not all right as I witness my home and everything I’ve worked for go up in flames. It was traumatic and surreal. When I was finally able to walk up to my apartment building, it did not look anything like the home I had known.

It was dark, heavy with smoke and debris. My friend and I were escorted by some firemen up to the building. My building looked like a bomb had gone off in it. Inches of water mixed with wet drywall, insulation, burnt cinders and neighbors’ belongings. And when it came to my apartment—it was something out of a horror film. I woke up to a beautiful condo loft home and came back to a burnt down, flooded shell.

If you can, please help him out.

I went back on ice yesterday despite having pain on my right joint. The gout hadn’t completely gone yet. Since the loop jump required using my right foot, I was in so much pain. I skated for fifteen minutes and had to take a break to rest my feet. I continued today and the pain was tolerable.

I am making minimal progress on my loop jump. I could only make half of the rotation. My landing was still messy. I could not balance myself to check out. I was getting frustrated.

Learning ice skating required patience and persistence. I have been working on the loop jumps for days—an hour a day—and I am still struggling with it. I just need to find the rhythm and everything will click.

As WordPress moving toward full-site editing with Gutenberg, the software has become an expensive alternative to Squarespace or Wix. Developing a WordPress theme from scratch seems like a waste of time. The quick way to create a site using WordPress is to use an existing theme and make a bit of cosmetic changes.

I had seen web agencies charging $30,000 to $40,000 to develop a WordPress site. They simply bought a $59 theme and created a child theme to develop the site. They also added tons of plugins to meet their client’s requirements. As a result, the code is messy, the loading is slow, and the look is similar to thousands of sites from the same theme.

It’s a shame that WordPress has gone down this path to compete with Squarespace and Wix. WordPress is no about clean HTML markups and minimal CSS. The markups WordPress rendered behind the scene were just horrendous.