Lâm Vân An: Ai cũng có những ngày tồi tệ

Tập truyện ngắn dựa vào đời sống và quan sát của tác giả Lâm Vân An trên đất Mỹ. Từ cách dạy con khác biệt giữa hai văn hóa đến những phán xét khác nhau giữa cô và người bạn Mỹ, Vân An có cái nhìn nhận phóng thoáng trong cuộc sống như cô viết về chứng bệnh “dán nhãn” (labeling):

Người dán nhãn, nghi kỵ dường như đã đánh mất khả năng nhìn cuộc đời một cách tươi sáng, tích cực, cuộc sống của họ dĩ nhiên là ngày càng nhàm chán. Tôi không cho mình là người trưởng thành, hay ho gì hơn ai nhưng rõ như ban ngày là tôi vừa mắc lỗi dán nhãn, nghi kỵ kẻ khác. Cả cơ thể tôi tê liệt vì sự xấu hổ ở đâu tràn đến, nhanh chóng lan khắp người.

Vân An lớn hơn tôi một tuổi và đã sinh sống trên hai mảnh đất Việt và Mỹ nên cũng có những cái nhìn giống nhau. Chúng tôi muốn nắm lấy cả hai văn hóa chứ không muốn phải xác định về phía nào như cha mẹ chồng trong bài “Trẻ con không nói dối.” Cách viết của Vân An thong thả, giản dị, và dễ gần. Tuy hơi dài dòng một tí nhưng đọc vẫn thấy vui và thú vị.

My Sweet Quarantine

I made a new frozen cocktail and I named it My Sweet Quarantine. Here’s the recipe:

  • 1 whole sweet white nectarine (without the core)
  • 4 cubes sweet papaya
  • 3 oz Jamaican rum (Appleton)
  • 1 oz coffee liqueur (Kahlua)
  • 2 tsp coconut yogurt (Liberté’s Philippine Coconut Organic Whole Milk Yogurt)

Combine ingredients with ice in a blender and mix. Pour into a highball glass and enjoy!

My Sweet Quarantine is my take on inspired by Hummingbird. I switched up the fruits, but the rum and the coffee liqueur remains the same. Somehow the sweet white nectarine blends so well with the sweet papaya.

The first time I had a Hummingbird on our honeymoon in Jamaica, it was so delightful that I had to have at least one glass every day for a week at the resort. I ordered it from the same bartender everyday. After he made the blend, he scooped up a tiny bit with a spoon, spread it on his palm, and licked it to make sure it tasted as he expected. In retrospect, it had to be one of the best weeks of my life. The food, the drink, the beach, and the love. Everything was so fresh, so new, and so peaceful.

Our Growing Vương

I haven’t written much about Vương and he will be turning two soon. I used to write a lot about our older sons. I suppose by the fourth son I am getting used to the novelty of being a parent.

Vương is indeed a very special child. He still puts on lovely smiles everyday. He wakes up in the morning and pulls up his mom’s shirt for breakfast. After that, he runs over to his grandma’s room, holds her hand, leads her to her charging station, and says, “iPad.” He takes her iPad to my room and grabs my finger to unlock it. He opens up YouTube and grabs my finger again to search for the video he wants to watch. As soon as he sees something he likes, he pushes my hand away. He is hooked on the digital device as much as his older brothers.

Vương gets all the love from everyone, especially his brothers. He can say all of their names now and he knows exactly who he can ask for favors. He wants to join them in everything. Even though he only knows a few words, he uses them well and continues to pick up more words from his brothers.

With the pandemic, we let him stay home for now. We might enroll Vương and Xuân once the coronavirus is under control.

Kris Sowersby on Physical vs. Digital

In sharing his process for creating Signifier, Kris Sowersby writes:

Fonts once existed as physical things used to make more physical things. Even if they were melted down to make bullets or forgotten like the Fell Types, they still existed materially. Digital fonts only exist fleetingly. They are experienced, mediated by a screen. Once the power is switched off they cease to exist. A craft history with five centuries of physical output replaced by virtual output takes some reconciling. We have retained our sense of line, spacing and form. We have lost the physical, material touch, as Ruskin once railed against. What we have gained is speed, flexibility and reach.

I really wish Signifier designed with Vietnamese diacritics.

Lợi ích hay đạo đức

Một số bạn đọc đã gửi email đến tôi sau khi đọc blog post “Nên đi bỏ phiếu.” Có bạn cho rằng tuy giờ đây đã thấy được sự dối trá và vô tài của ông Trump như vẫn không bỏ phiếu cho ông Joe Biden. Bạn cho rằng bỏ phiếu cho đảng Dân chủ là làm ngược lại với lợi ích của bạn. Vì bạn là một người làm thương mại mà đảng Dân chủ thì tăng thuế.

Tôi hiểu được việc bạn kiếm ra tiền bằng mồ hôi và nước mắt của mình. Nhưng nếu như bạn bỏ phiếu cho đảng Dân chủ không có nghĩa bạn làm ngược lại với lợi ích cá nhân mà bạn làm theo đạo đức của chính mình. Giữa công việc đóng thêm một chút thuế hay để nền dân chủ (democracy) của đất nước tự do bị sụp đổ thì bạn chọn như thế nào?

Dĩ nhiên tôi không thể nào đứng nhìn nền dân chủ bị phá hoại trong tay một người không tôn trọng luật pháp. Không ai trên cả luật pháp và tổng thống Mỹ cũng không ngoại lệ. Nếu như đóng thêm thuế để giúp đỡ những người gặp khó khăn thì cũng nên.

Tôi nghĩ hoàn cảnh lúc mới đặt chân đến bến bờ tự do của bạn cũng giống như tôi. Nhờ có tiền trợ cấp của chính phủ Mỹ (tiền của những người đóng thuế) đã giúp đỡ dân tị nạn chúng ta lúc ban đầu gặp nhiều khó khăn. Nhờ đó mà bạn đã phấn đấu từ hai bàn tay trắng để có được ngày hôm nay. Giờ đây anh đã thành công thì tại sao không giúp đỡ người khác như mình ngày xưa? Người Việt Nam chúng ta có câu, “Đừng ăn cháo đái bát.”

Nguyễn Phan Quế Mai: The Mountains Sing

Nguyễn Phan Quế Mai’s The Mountains Sing weaves together the family’s story of wars in Việt Nam from two personal accounts. Hương, the teenage granddaughter, recounts the conflict between North and South with the involvement of the American. Diệu Lan, the grandmother, recounts the French colonial period with the involvement of the Japanese. Although this is a historical work of fiction, the book provides a clear and balanced view of all parties involved. Ms. Nguyễn turns a blind eye to no side’s agenda, greed, or viciousness. The book is beautifully written, yet it is a heartbreaking read. Like Ms. Nguyễn, I have heard similar stories from the people around me. The cruelty, the grief, the loss, and the suffering hit too close to home.

What draws me into this novel is the way Ms. Nguyễn incorporated Vietnamese proverbs throughout the book. She uses phrases like, “Đừng ăn cháo đái bát.” (“Don’t eat porridge then piss into the bowl.”) or “Một giọt máu đào hơn ao nước lã.” (“One drop of familial blood outranks a pond of water.”) I also appreciate the use of Vietnamese diacritics in English text. If diacritics were omitted for the sake of English readers, the Vietnamese proverbs would have been so darn hard to decode.

In Vietnamese-relate books where the authors claimed that they intentionally left out Vietnamese diacritics to make non-Vietnamese readers feel less intimidated, the authors either didn’t know their Vietnamese or they tried to please their English readers. Diacritics don’t make any different to readers who do not know Vietnamese. Without diacritics, however, readers who can read Vietnamese are compromised. In her uncompromising way, Ms. Nguyễn has written this book for readers who appreciate both languages. I love her translations of the proverbs, which showed her mastery of both Vietnamese and English.

This is the first time I read the entire novel on my iPhone using the Kindle app. Although I still prefer a physical book, what made me stick with the Kindle was the Bookerly typeface, which I selected specifically for long-form reading. As I was reading this book, I discovered that Bookerly, designed by Dalton Magg, has excellent Vietnamese diacritics; therefore, I had to add it to my Vietnamese Typography recommendations.

With Ms. Nguyễn’s lyrical writing and poignant storytelling, The Mountains Sing is a page-turner. In my case, it was a screen-swiper. It is one of the most level-headed historical accounts of the Việt Nam Wars I have read in recent years.

My New Morning Routine

I woke up around 6 am and read for an hour and a half. Around 8 am, I drove to the park nearby my sister-in-law’s house. The basketball court was empty. The court’s smooth surface was perfect for rollerblading. I sported my new Triple Eight Saver Series Pad Set with Kneesavers, Elbowsavers, and Wristsavers.

From now on, I won’t be skating for rollerblading without these guards. They are like seatbelts for me. At 42, I can’t gamble with my life, especially for something that is supposed to be pleasure. I fell a couple of times and as long as I didn’t land on my butt, these guards had protected my knees and wrist. Of course, helmet is a must.

I could only rollerblade for half an hour. I am still not breaking in to my new shoes yet. My feet still hurt like crazy. I hope it will go away. I used to have this issue with ice skating. By the time, my feet got comfortable with the shoes, the pandemic hit. Now I have to go through all the pain again. I guess it is true. No pain no gain. I am starting to get some of my groove back. It’s good for me to do some kind of exercise rather than sitting in front of the screen and snacking all day long.

I am trying to make this into my morning routine until it gets too cold to do so. I am hoping to recruit my kids to join me.

Joe Biden for President

Biden thanked the commender-in-chief and crushed the coward-in-chief in his speech at the 2020 Democratic National Convention:

Thank you, Mr. President [Obama]. You were a great president. A president our children could—and did—look up to. No one will say that about the current occupant of the office. What we know about this president is if he’s given four more years he will be what he’s been the last four years. A president who takes no responsibility, refuses to lead, blames others, cozies up to dictators, and fans the flames of hate and division. He will wake up every day believing the job is all about him. Never about you. Is that the America you want for you, your family, your children? I see a different America. One that is generous and strong. Selfless and humble. It’s an America we can rebuild together.

Truth be told, I had not been excited about the Biden candidacy. He has his share of flaws and gaffes. After hearing his personal story; however, I have changed my mind. Joe is kind, compassionate, and caring. Joe had been through pain and grief. He lost his first wife, his daughter, and his son. Joe understands the struggles. He goes out of his way to help Brayden Harrington, a thirteen-year-old boy, to overcome his stutter.

We need a president who has sympathy, decency, and generosity. We need a president who takes care of all the people, not just himself. We need a president who unites instead of divides us. In the past four days, look at the people he is surrounding himself with. The Biden administration will be filled with diverse, qualified, and competent members.

Truth be told, I had already made up my mind to vote for Joe. After tonight, I will be excited to be voting for him. He will save America from the pandemic and he will save our democracy from fascism. I urge you to vote for Joe as well.

Pete Buttigieg on Patriotism

Pete Buttigieg gave a convincing speech at the 2020 Democratic National Convention:

Beau Biden lived a life of service, in office and in uniform. When you put your life on the line for your country—especially this country—you do it not because it’s a country you ​live in​,​ b​ut because it’s a country you ​believe in​.

I believe in this country because America, uniquely, holds the promise of a place where everyone can belong. We know that for too many and for too long, that promise has gone unrealized. But we also know America has been at its best whenever we make that circle of belonging wider.

He made the case for Biden and Harris:

Every American must now decide. Can America be a place where faith is about healing and not exclusion? Can we become a country that lives up to the truth that Black Lives Matter? Will we handle questions of science and medicine by turning to scientists and doctors? What will we do to make America into a land where no one who works full time can live in poverty?

Sáng nay

Sáu giờ sáng thức giấc. Vẫn mỏi mệt không muốn bò ra giường. Nằm đọc sách đến bảy giờ rưỡi. Cả nhà vẫn còn đang ngủ. Đánh răng rửa mặt rồi đạp xe qua trường Mason. Tập rollerblades nửa tiếng. Về lại nhà mẹ vợ đã dậy và sắp sửa đi bộ thể dục.

Bắc ấm nước pha cà phê. Nướng lại ổ bánh mì thịt cho đồ chua và ớt vào. Đem ra deck ngồi vừa ăn vừa uống vừa nghe podcast vừa thưởng thức ánh nắng dịu dàng của buổi sáng. Vừa xong thì đám nhỏ cũng vừa thức dậy. Giúp hai thằng nhỏ đánh răng rồi cho xuống nhà ăn sáng. Hôm nay chạy qua Dunkin’ Donuts mua chút bánh ngọt và điểm tâm cho bọn nó.

Chín giờ rưỡi mở laptop bắt đầu vào công việc. Buổi sáng của tôi chỉ có thế thôi. Và như thế tôi sống vui từng ngày. Nếu ngày nào cũng được nhẹ nhàng và giản dị như thế.

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