Our second born turns 11 today. He grows way too fast. He loves building PCs and playing video games on his desktop. For his birthday, we gifted him all the parts so he could build his own desktop. It is definitely a useful skill to pick up. I am proud of him for it, but he needs to balance out his priorities. His education needs to come first. He is doing the minimal just to pass. If he puts the energy and focus on school work like he does with PC and video games, he would become an excellent student.

Đán has a natural athletic ability. With a bit of bravery, he is elevating in rollerblading. He surpassed his brothers and me in blading. In the past, I could keep up with him, but not anymore. He is not even into rollerblading. He has to skate because I make him go to the skate park. If he puts his mind into it, he would have advanced even further. I am not pushing him. My only requirement is for him to get some exercise. He needs to get away from his desktop and do some outdoor activities. Đán is also an excellent snowboarder. I can’t wait to hit the terrains with him this winter.

Đán is a great kid when he wants to be. He loves his grandmother, his mom, Đạo, and Vương. For selfish reasons, he is not too fond of Xuân and he drives me to the wall. I made it clear to him that he either treated Xuân nicely or he got banned from his PC. He didn’t like me when I banned him, but I was fine with that. I don’t have any issue being a bad dad. He knows deep down, I have nothing but love for him.

Ava Kofman writes for The New Yorker:

Forty years on, half of all Americans die in hospice care. Most of these deaths take place at home. When done right, the program allows people to experience as little pain as possible and to spend meaningful time with their loved ones. Nurses stop by to manage symptoms. Aides assist with bathing, medications, and housekeeping. Social workers help families over bureaucratic hurdles. Clergy offer what comfort they can, and bereavement counsellors provide support in the aftermath. This year, I spoke about hospice with more than a hundred and fifty patients, families, hospice employees, regulators, attorneys, fraud investigators, and end-of-life researchers, and all of them praised its vital mission. But many were concerned about how easy money and a lack of regulation had given rise to an industry rife with exploitation. In the decades since Saunders and her followers spread her radical concept across the country, hospice has evolved from a constellation of charities, mostly reliant on volunteers, into a twenty-two-billion-dollar juggernaut funded almost entirely by taxpayers.

A devastating read.

I am on my path to stop using social media. Not using LinkedIn has no effect on me. I hardly used LinkedIn anyway, but I still keep my account active. I miss family and friends on Facebook, especially on news such as weddings or funerals. I keep my account active to maybe check in once in a while. I wish I could mass-delete all my content on Facebook. I reactivated Twitter, but not posted anything new. I miss the type community, but I don’t want to move over to Mastodon. My only involvement in the type community is Vietnamese Typography and people can find me on that site.

The biggest issue I have is not following the web community. I need to keep myself up-to-date with the latest web developments. Unfortunately I have been out of the loop for over a decade. CSS grid and web fonts were the latest two skills I picked up. I haven’t used any JavaScript frameworks. I still write my HTML and CSS from scratch. WordPress’s block theming is beyond my knowledge. I am still using the classic editor for my blog. I wonder how long WordPress continues to support the classic editor.

I still have tremendous love for the web. I love the ability to create websites the way I wanted, not having to use someone’s codes, templates, or platforms. I still enjoy creating small websites such as Everlasting Eye Care, Thinkpoint Creative, and Kristin Bair. These sites were designed and developed using HTML, CSS, and a bit of PHP. They will last forever. If I were to develop a blog from scratch, I would not know what software to choose. WordPress has moved beyond a blogging system.

In any rate, I am happy with the changes that I have made, which will allow me to spend more time offline. I am getting tired of all the social media chaos.

Ca thử câu này: “Đêm Phương Nam nằm nghe bà Bành cãi lộn”.

I have been spending more time watching Facebook videos than reading. Its algorithm has worked on me by feeding videos of folks in Việt Nam eating wild shit. They literally ate shit from cow and goat intestines (pịa).

As for my own posting, I pumped out clips of my kids skating at the skatepark almost on the daily basis. The same five or six people liked my videos and about five or six people posted on the daily basis. The rest of the posts on my timeline were ads. I am not sure if Facebook is still a good place to spend my time on. My reason for hanging was to stay connected with family members and use Market place to sell things. Although I had sold everything I had listed, I found it to be a hassle.

After leaving Twitter and LinkedIn, Facebook seems like the logical next step to completely remove myself from social media. I removed the app from my phone. That will prevent me from checking in and uploading photos and videos. I just keep the account for a while before deactivate it. I don’t think I will miss anything. I still have this blog to write down my thoughts.

One river gives
Its journey to the next.

We give because someone gave to us.
We give because nobody gave to us.

We give because giving has changed us.
We give because giving could have changed us.

We have been better for it,
We have been wounded by it—

Giving has many faces: It is loud and quiet,
Big, though small, diamond in wood-nails.

Its story is old, the plot worn and the pages too,
But we read this book, anyway, over and again:

Giving is, first and every time, hand to hand,
Mine to yours, yours to mine.

You gave me blue and I gave you yellow.
Together we are simple green. You gave me

What you did not have, and I gave you
What I had to give—together, we made

Something greater from the difference.

Alberto Ríos

In recent months, Xuân has asked me to take him to the skatepark everyday. Of course, I comply. Đạo and Đán aren’t too happy about it. They would only join us if they get boba tea afterward. The main reason I want them to go to the skatepark is to do some outdoor activities instead of sitting around with their digital devices. The skatepark is a great place for that.

The newly renovated Wakefield skatepark (cost $1.5 millions of taxpayer money) is always crowded. Nevertheless, Xuân just rides around and enjoys himself. He focuses on his own development and progresses at his own pace. He is not intimidated by anyone else. Observing him riding his scooter in his orange jacket is like watching Nemo swimming in the sea of skaters. The orange jacket helps prevent other people from crashing into him. In addition to scooting alone, he makes friends with other scooters. They are all around the same age. It’s a nice bond at the skatepark.

Even as someone who is socially awkward, I have made a few rollerblading friends. Unlike Xuân, I get intimidated by other advanced skaters. Luckily, there aren’t too many rollerbladers around. I only see them once in a while. Of course, I try to focus on my own skills, but I often get distracted by other bladers. I am taking the clue from Xuân to just enjoy myself.

Out of our crew, Đán advances the fastest. His balance and his fearlessness allow him to pick up new techniques with ease. His lack of focus, however, holds him back. He would rather sit at home, work on his PC, and play video games. It is getting to the point where that’s where he focuses his attention on. I already warned him that I will have no problem confiscating his desktop if that’s all he spends his time on.

Đạo would rather spend time on his laptop too, but he knows that he needs to get out of the house to avoid getting banned from screen time. He is a careful rollerblader. He takes his time to hone his skills. He makes steady progress. He has surpassed me in rollerblading, but he is now trying out skateboarding. Of course, trying out something new is always encouraged. I can’t wait to see where he goes with it.

To learn snowboarding, I will be falling on my ass; therefore, I bought a pair of Bodyprox protective padded shorts. I have been wearing it at the skatepark and I wish I had made the investment earlier. Falling on concrete isn’t easy on a 40-something body. Bodyprox saved my hip, thigh, sit bone, and tailbone on several occasions. I am now adding the shorts to my blading routines. It is so comfortable it warm. It will definitely keep my warm on the snowy mountains. My only criticism is that the product made in China. Then again, most of the products I am using are made in China. Other than that, this is definitely worth the investment in addition to the helmet, wrist guards, elbow pads, and knee pads. Call me a wimp, but I rather be safe than sorry. These sports can be dangerous and I don’t want to put myself at risk. Of course, my kids need to have protective gears as well.

As I was helping Đạo with his writing assignment, I wanted to explain to him the art of storytelling. To give him an example, I let him listen to Eminem’s “Stan.” I was not sure if it was helpful, but he was hooked on the song. This song brought back so much memories for me.

Dear Slim, I wrote you, but you still ain’t callin’
I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom
I sent two letters back in autumn, you must not’ve got ’em
There probably was a problem at the post office or somethin’
Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot ’em
But anyways, fuck it, what’s been up, man? How’s your daughter?
My girlfriend’s pregnant too, I’m ’bout to be a father
If I have a daughter, guess what I’ma call her?
I’ma name her Bonnie
I read about your Uncle Ronnie too, I’m sorry
I had a friend kill himself over some bitch who didn’t want him
I know you probably hear this every day, but I’m your biggest fan
I even got the underground shit that you did with Skam
I got a room full of your posters and your pictures, man
I like the shit you did with Rawkus too, that shit was phat
Anyways, I hope you get this, man, hit me back
Just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan, this is Stan

Dear Slim, you still ain’t called or wrote, I hope you have a chance
I ain’t mad, I just think it’s fucked up you don’t answer fans
If you didn’t want to talk to me outside your concert, you didn’t have to
But you coulda signed an autograph for Matthew
That’s my little brother, man, he’s only six years old
We waited in the blisterin’ cold
For you, for four hours, and you just said “no”
That’s pretty shitty, man, you’re like his fuckin’ idol
He wants to be just like you, man, he likes you more than I do
I ain’t that mad, though I just don’t like bein’ lied to
Remember when we met in Denver?
You said if I’d write you, you would write back
See, I’m just like you in a way: I never knew my father neither
He used to always cheat on my mom and beat her
I can relate to what you’re sayin’ in your songs
So when I have a shitty day, I drift away and put ’em on
‘Cause I don’t really got shit else
So that shit helps when I’m depressed
I even got a tattoo with your name across the chest
Sometimes I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds
It’s like adrenaline, the pain is such a sudden rush for me
See, everything you say is real, and I respect you ‘cause you tell it
My girlfriend’s jealous ‘cause I talk about you 24/7
But she don’t know you like I know you, Slim, no one does
She don’t know what it was like for people like us growin’ up
You gotta call me, man, I’ll be the biggest fan you’ll ever lose
Sincerely yours, Stan—P.S. We should be together too

Dear Mr. I’m-Too-Good-to-Call-or-Write-My-Fans
This’ll be the last package I ever send your ass
It’s been six months, and still no word—I don’t deserve it?
I know you got my last two letters, I wrote the addresses on ‘em perfect
So this is my cassette I’m sendin’ you, I hope you hear it
I’m in the car right now, I’m doin’ 90 on the freeway
Hey, Slim, I drank a fifth of vodka, you dare me to drive?
You know the song by Phil Collins, “In the Air of the Night”
About that guy who coulda saved that other guy from drownin’
But didn’t, then Phil saw it all, then at a show he found him?
That’s kinda how this is: you coulda rescued me from drownin’
Now it’s too late, I’m on a thousand downers now—I’m drowsy
And all I wanted was a lousy letter or a call
I hope you know I ripped all of your pictures off the wall
I loved you, Slim, we coulda been together—think about it!
You ruined it now, I hope you can’t sleep and you dream about it
And when you dream I hope you can’t sleep and you scream about it
I hope your conscience eats at you and you can’t breathe without me
See, Slim—shut up, bitch! I’m tryin’ to talk
Hey, Slim, that’s my girlfriend screamin’ in the trunk
But I didn’t slit her throat, I just tied her up—see? I ain’t like you
‘Cause if she suffocates she’ll suffer more and then she’ll die too
Well, gotta go, I’m almost at the bridge now
Oh shit, I forgot—how am I supposed to send this shit out?

Dear Stan, I meant to write you sooner, but I just been busy
You said your girlfriend’s pregnant now, how far along is she?
Look, I’m really flattered you would call your daughter that
And here’s an autograph for your brother; I wrote it on a Starter cap
I’m sorry I didn’t see you at the show, I must’ve missed you
Don’t think I did that shit intentionally just to diss you
But what’s this shit you said about you like to cut your wrists too?
I say that shit just clownin’, dawg, come on, how fucked up is you?
You got some issues, Stan, I think you need some counselin’
To help your ass from bouncin’ off the walls when you get down some
And what’s this shit about us meant to be together?
That type of shit’ll make me not want us to meet each other
I really think you and your girlfriend need each other
Or maybe you just need to treat her better
I hope you get to read this letter, I just hope it reaches you in time
Before you hurt yourself, I think that you’ll be doin’ just fine
If you relax a little, I’m glad I inspire you, but Stan
Why are you so mad? Try to understand that I do want you as a fan
I just don’t want you to do some crazy shit
I seen this one shit on the news a couple weeks ago that made me sick
Some dude was drunk and drove his car over a bridge
And had his girlfriend in the trunk, and she was pregnant with his kid
And in the car they found a tape, but they didn’t say who it was to
Come to think about it, his name was—it was you
Damn…

Eminem

I deactivated Twitter last Saturday. I feel a bit relieved and won’t miss it. Many people I followed had moved to Mastodon, but I have no interest in joining another social network. I logged out of LinkedIn. Although I haven’t deactivate it, I have no intention of posting anything on there anymore. Maybe I’ll log back in when I need to find a new job. I am still a bit active on Facebook to keep in touch with family and friends. I still use Facebook Marketplace occasionally to buy and sell junks. I use YouTube primarily for tutorials (skating, rollerblading, skiing, and most recently snowboarding) as well as minor fixes around the house. I am trying to slow down my day by consuming less social media.

I still love writing on this blog. Everything I do involves writing in way or another and years of blogging have prepared me for writing. I take writing more seriously than before. I loved replying to my kids’ teachers and I made sure I took the time to do so. I helped Đạo with his school projects that required writings. I made sure he explained his positions clearly. For work, I have been doing quite a bit of writing as well. In fact, I have just written a long reply this morning. I am taking a break and will come back to read it over before sending it.

I took Jeff Bezos’s advice on writings over meetings and I am enjoying the process. When I attended meetings, I forgot almost everything afterward even if I had scribbled down my notes. When writing things down, I had all the records to refer back later on. In addition, I don’t speak fluently and I often feel that I don’t convey the message clearly through oral presentation. When I write things down, I know the person who I had written to would pay attention. When someone replied to me with questions I had already answered I knew they didn’t read my detailed response. Instead of responding back to what I had written, I could just reference the part that they did not read.

I am no way a good writer, but I use my best writing knowledge to get my message across. That alone is good enough for me. I try to improve my writing through blogging. Since this is my personal blog, I write whatever I like and take full responsibility of my content. If you don’t want to read what I write, you can pay me no mind. If you enjoy what I write, thank you. And I appreciate you even more if you support my efforts.