Erasure

Eating beside the wives of all his friends, I quietly order three oysters. Disgusting, the person beside me laughs when the half shells come over ice on a little glass plate. That smells like a dirty woman. Leaning together, they wonder how nauseating it must be for their husbands to go down on them. I am sitting across from a man who, in bed, turns to ask, Are you ready? Sometimes I am. Other times he reminds me of all the women who came so quickly with him. There is no productivity in imagining the people of my lover’s past. Or to saying, here, that I am queer in a way that might puncture the conversation.

Taneum Bambrick

May mà có em

Mấy hôm trước tình cờ tìm được bộ ảnh chụp lúc hai vợ chồng đi hưởng tuần trăng mật ở Jamaica sau ngày cưới. Nhìn lại vợ 15 năm trước trẻ đẹp và hồn nhiên. Giờ đây em đã mòn mỏi theo thời gian nhưng trong con tim và đôi mắt tôi em vẫn là tất cả.

Mười lăm năm qua, chúng tôi đã trải qua bao nhiêu sóng gió trong cuộc sống. Có lúc tưởng đâu tan vỡ nhưng rồi mọi chuyện cũng êm xuôi. Vài năm gần đây tình cảm vợ chồng mặn nồng hơn. Đời sống tuy vẫn căng thẳng nhưng gắn bó hơn mười năm trước.

Từ công việc đến đời tư, tôi có một số vấn đề cần phải giải quyết. Tôi cố gắng quên đi quá khứ. Tôi cố gắng xua tan những phiền muộn. Tôi cố gắng dập tắt những cơn ám ảnh. Tôi cố gắng kiềm chế những thói nghiện ngập. Tôi không đủ lý trí và sự tự tin của chính mình để vượt qua. May mà có em ở bên cạnh động viên và giúp đỡ tôi xoá tan những giây phút u ám.

Vicente Archer: Short Stories

What a delightful debut from bassist Vicente Archer. With pianist Gerald Clayton and drummer Bill Stewart, the trio swings high on “Space Acres” sends a heartfelt “Message to a Friend.” From “Mirai” to “It Takes Two to Know One,” I am enjoying Short Stories immensely. The album is both energetic and relaxing. Definitely worth checking out if you’re into jazz.

The Life of Sun Ra

Lay my figures bare
              and give them no rest,

I can relate to his premise, that he was born on Jupiter

and must be getting back soon,

that the earth is a failed planet,

that rehearsal itself
              becomes a ceremony.

Cedar Sigo

My Response to the Ski Trip for Scouts

Thanks Chị Tâm for doing the research and organizing the trip. The detailed Google Sheet is very helpful.

All of our family members have seasonal passes; therefore, we have a handful of buddy passes. I believe buddy passes are 40% off the rate for the day you want to ski. If you missed the Epic Day deal and still want to join us, let me know. I will send you the link to purchase the passes online in advance. We have to pick up the tickets together at the window.

For skiing lessons, you should definitely sign up for your kids. I recommend a half-day group lesson. Kids will pick up fast. They’ll be able to ski after 4 hours of learning. They can learn in the morning and ski with their Scout buddies the rest of the day.

For adults, I can give you some skiing tips, but you should also take a two-hour or half-day group lesson. When I first started, I hesitated to learn skiing. My wife signed me up without my consent for a two-hour lesson and forced me to take it. She wanted me to ski with the kids. That lesson unlocked the potential I didn’t know I had. You should get that experience as well.

As for snowboarding, the learning curve is steeper than skiing. I started learning snowboarding last season. I fell five days straight before I could start to snowboard. That first day was brutal. My whole body was in pain. Skating off the lift was also a challenge. I fell every time. After I got over the boot-camp period, however, I enjoyed snowboarding immensely. Nowadays, I switch back and forth between skiing and snowboarding. I love both sports.

In addition to taking lessons, the best place to learn skiing and snowboarding is YouTube. You should check out the videos before hitting the slopes. I learned intermediate skills through YouTube videos.

I hope you will give these sports a try. They will keep you and your kids active during the winter. Before skiing and snowboarding, our family caught all kinds of winter illnesses. In the past few years, we enjoyed our winter activities a whole lot more than before.

Radio

I think I forgot to turn
off the radio when
I left my mother’s
womb

In Hasidic Judaism
it is said that before we
are born an angel
enters the womb,
strikes us on the
mouth
and we forget all
that we knew of
previous lives—
all that we know
of heaven

I think that I forgot
to forget.
I was born into two
places at once—

In one, it was chilly
lonely physical &
uncomfortable

in the other, I stayed
in the dimension of
Spirit. What I knew,
I knew.
I did not forget
Voices
The world of spirit
held me in its arms.

Diane di Prima

David Airey: Identity Designed

Airey’s Identity Designed delves into 16 different brands. My personal favorites are Ad Age and Rooster Beers. The book featured both texts and illustrations. The format is repetitive. The body text is set in Alegreya. The size is a bit too big; therefore, it doesn’t look as solid as it should. The text size should be a bit smaller. Avenir Next for big text is just fantastic.

Riding It Out

Mandy Brown quit her job. Robin Rendle also quit his job. I have tremendous respect for Mandy and Robin. They both have written about their experience with candid and honesty. I appreciate what they have shared and glad that they put it out there. I am happy for them that they can get out and move on. With their talents, they will be successful in what they will do next.

Everything they had gone through resonated with me. For eleven years, I loved my job and my colleagues. Then my supervisor retired. She was not happy with her new boss. I was forced to join another team (of two). Then what I loved the most at my job is being hostilely taken away. Soon, every line of HTML and CSS I had written from scratch over a decade will be completely vanished.

I stressed the fuck out, but I decided to ride it out. I don’t want to run away every time I run into issues. I needed to put an end to this madness. I am letting go of the things I cared about but out of my control. I am moving on without leaving. I am taking it day by day. I am preparing myself to be ready for whatever comes next.

What Mandy and Robin had said reassures me that I am not alone. I have four kids to raise. I can’t get out, but when push comes to shove, I know where the door is.

Moneybagg Yo: Hard to Love

Moneybagg Yo has an infectious flow and he can ride hard-throbbing beats as smooth as a shot of Hibiki, like “Keep It Low” featuring Future. When not boasting about sex (“Super Wet”) or jabbing his baby mama (“F My BM”), Moneybagg reveals his pain and emotion. On “Goin Thru It,” he shares, “Treat her like she wifey, bought her a big karat ring / Soon as we agreed to have a child, she had a miscarriage / Deal with that shit behind closed doors.” Hard to Love contains 20 tracks and the beats he picked are consistently banging. Taking out the misogynistic shit, his lyrics are compelling and commanding attention.

Bleeding Hearts

They do not fit their given name. They glow
all day in the sun, without
ever opening up; they are able to retain
their shape and their seal under even the weightiest rain.

They may assert, or believe, that any problem
they notice among themselves must be a low
priority next to the crocuses, always picked first,
or compared to the unwell maple, whose phantom limb,
as recently as last summer, could provide
an afternoon of unreliable shade.
Their practice at holding their own
has made them feel less cultivated or planted
than like something they themselves have made.

Nevertheless it is tough for them to remain
so sanguine; they have arranged
to keep themselves together in almost the same
way they keep other people’s secrets,
even when shaky, at dawn, or nearly asleep.

They dangle and dodge in light wind
as if they were windchimes. They are, also, perennial,
able to outlast frost: they can insist
that the most important fact about them—more
than photosynthesis
or chromosomes, varietals or
Latin names—is just
that they continue to exist.

As well as the overfamiliar valentine,
the thumbnail spade for archaeological digs,
they duplicate the alphabet: a V
for victory, as well as a sort of X
wherever two or three will overlap.
Their bone-white, surprisingly durable
extensions resemble parentheses,
or quills, or claws. Once I heard
them claim that they were eggs,
dragon eggs; one day they would, supposedly, split,
detaching the bloom from the ornamental top,
so that the V-shaped part would drop
to Earth, and low-to-the-ground observers could see
the dragonets discover their feet,
their solarized scales, their yet-to-be-sharpened pairs
of retractable talons. The adults who share, or repeat,
these stories must be, not gardeners, but magicians,
the kind who understand how to escape
from anything, whom you hope
can teach you, too, how to do that.

Some renegade botanists
believe the cultivars can be regrown
from even the slightest cutting: one tendril, one stem.
Other experts think this trick can work
for closely related species, but not for them.

V for vigilance. V for vindication.
After a hailstorm, either V in survived,
in visible and invisible. They are the kind
of students who ought to teach, but will not give lectures,
having determined what parts of their own life cycle
are worth trying to explain
to the outer world, what to reveal from within their clusters
of shoots, their extracellular architecture,
and what belongs, for now, on the inside.

Stephanie Burt