My dentist is Vietnamese-American. I have been with him since I started working for George Mason, which is over five years. I visited his office every six months for cleaning and checkup. Except for the previous visit, which required a crown, he doesn’t try to create additional services like previous dentists I had.

Every time we met each other, he would greet me with a handshake and how are you. One time I tried to speak to him in Vietnamese, but he didn’t respond. So we spoke in English ever since.

In my recent visit, I wondered about his family. Does he have wife and kids? What if I were to give his children some candies? Then I realized that he wouldn’t appreciate that.

Daddy, can you tell us a sweet story? Đạo asked. Sure, I began, Once upon a time, there were two really really bad boys… He interrupted, You mean me and Đán? I did not say that. I replied. But you meant it. He said. How do you know? I pressed on. I can read your head. He responded. I have been with you for eight years. I know you daddy.

Nancy Stock-Allen’s profile focuses on Carol Twombly’s career in type design. It’s a concise read with insights from Twombly herself on research and design process for her notable typefaces including Adobe Caslon, Chaparral, Myriad, and Trajan. The book itself is beautifully designed by Stock-Allen and elegantly set in Adobe Caslon.

In his latest special for Netflix, C.K. explores the uncharted angles on controversial and uncomfortable territories including abortion, suicide, transgender, life, death, and dick. His uncompromising approach is shameful yet joyful to watch. He has mastered the art of embarrassment.

This summer I will co-present an academic paper with my cousin on hybrid web app design and development at the IⁿSITE 2017 conference in Vietnam. In addition to attending the conference, I wanted to take the opportunity to reconnect with my old man. This is something I have wanted to do for years. In fact, I wrote this seven years ago:

What if I just take two or three weeks off go back to Viet Nam and just lock myself in with him 24/7. We’ll just hang out and travel together as father and son, something we had never done. Will that help reconnect our relationship?

I am still feeling anxious about it because we have been apart for so long, but I need to do this. He is in his 80s and time is running out on us. I wanted to take our entire family back, but the thought of having to take care of three kids on a long flight and in Vietnam had frightened me.

I am grateful that my wife is not only willing to take care of the boys for two weeks, but she has also been very encouraging. She understands how I feel about my relationship with my dad. I still don’t know how he feels about me, but I am his son after all. Time and distance have not changed that. All I know is that if I don’t do this, I will regret it for the rest of my life. I really wish we could be closer, but if I don’t make the move, it won’t happen.

Except for three days at the conference, my only plan is to be with him 24/7 for ten days and I am looking forward to it.

Nghe bài phân tích của Vĩnh Lạc Đoàn Thế Ngữ về bài “Như Ngọn Buồn Rơi” của Từ Công Phụng khá thú vị. Ông đưa ra một khía cạnh nói lên cảnh đẹp lãng mạng của đôi tình nhân vừa mới trao thân cho nhau:

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Mời thưởng thức

Schwalbe not just loves reading books, he draws lessons for living from them. In the 26 books, I have not read a single one, and yet I still find each book to be fascinating through his brief, honest, and easygoing analysis. I probably won’t read every book mentioned in his essays, but the ones on my reading list will include Lin Yutang’s The Importance of Living, Anne Lamott’s Bird by Bird, Toni Morrison’s Song of Solomon, Eugen Herrigel’s Zen in the Art of Archery, and George Orwell’s 1984.

Throughout the book Schwalbe makes a convincing case for reading. In the introduction, he writes (p.15):

The technology of a book is genius: the order of the words is fixed, whether on the page or on-screen, but the speed at which you read them is entirely up to you. Sure, this allows you to skip ahead and jump around. But it also allows you to slow down, savor, and ponder.

To Schwalbe, reading is not just a pleasure, but a right. He argues (p.275):

The right to read whatever you want whenever you want is one of the fundamental rights that helps preserve all other rights. It’s a right we need to guard with unwavering diligence. But it’s also a right we can guard with pleasure. Reading isn’t just a strike against narrowness, mind control, and domination: It’s one of the world’s great joys.

A love letter to readers everywhere.

A few years ago I met up with a lady for dinner. We got to know each other through iLoveNgocLan.com. She obviously knew that I was married with a kid through this blog. We had a nice conversation about Ngọc Lan, being Vietnamese-American, and politics. After our initial meetup, I was hoping that we could become friends so I could introduce her to my wife and kid. Unfortunately it was a one-time thing. We never kept in touch after that. Of course my wife knew about the meetup and she even approved it. I see nothing wrong with it. I would do the same if she wanted to dine with a male friend. I completely trust her just like she has trusted me.

The trust between us is something that I take very seriously. Trust doesn’t come easy and we had to build it from the beginning. If one of us breaks that trust, our marriage would suffer. I would never jeopardize that trust. I worked very hard to earn it.

I am also fortunate to have a strong, independent, confident, and understanding woman. She doesn’t post any restriction on me because she trusts me. I can hang out and drink with friends as long as I don’t violate her trust. Some guy can’t even hang an Áo Trắng calendar on his wall. If she has done that to me, I don’t think we can be on the same page.

My wife and I both come to the same conclusion that if we want to cheat nothing can stop us. We also know that there’s no turning back once the trust is lost. All I ask of her is that she keeps it real with me. If we can no longer be together, we can walk away without breaking our trust.

Trust trumps everything. The notion that a married person can’t dine alone with another opposite sex is fucking religious.

For this year’s conference, I wanted to hit as many different tracks as I could. The conference has five different tracks; therefore, choosing the one I wanted is a bit of a challenge. I also wanted to avoid any topic that is related to web technologies. I am so tired of hearing about Drupal, WordPress, Bootstrap, and so on.

It turned out that I had a better time listening to other topics. For instance, a presentation on how school libraries are using Minecraft as a learning tool for kids was fascinating. It is reassuring that the game my kids, Đạo in particular, are obsessed with is not a bad thing. In fact, I should encourage them to play and learn.

In addition, the conference gives me a guilty-free pleasure to be away from the office. I still answer work emails on occasions, but it is nice to just relax for a few days listening to people shared what they are doing. Today is my last day so I need to take advantage of it.

As I am reaching the end of my 30s, my body has switched the maintenance mode. My hair is not growing back; my gut is not getting smaller; my teeth are not getting any whiter until I get complete dentures; and my keloids are not fading away. Everything goes downhill from here.

The good thing is that my wife accepts me for who I am. Not that I have a low self-esteem, but who wants to be with this piece of shit unless they want something else? I am almost forty now and I might be a piece of shit, but I am not a fucking dumbass. I have a strong, independent, and beautiful wife who had chosen me for who the fuck I am. I have three wonderful kids that will always be a part of my life. The chance of me fucking all that up is nonexistence.