Yesterday after work I stopped by our public library to pick up a few books. Then I saw Michelle Obama’s Becoming displayed on the shelf. I grabbed it immediately with joy. When I got home and turned on the Facebook app on my phone, there was an ad for the audio version of of book. How the hell did Facebook know when my phone was in my pocket the whole time? Creepy as fuck.

Earlier this evening, I went to our neighborhood meeting to hear a proposal from private companies wanting to build housing for low-income families, seniors, and Mason students. Just now, Facebook is showing me an ad for house prices in my neighborhood and I don’t even have location turned on. Damn, this is intrusive.

I wrote about about not being able to leave Facebook just two days ago. Now I am back on contemplating it. Oddly enough, the NYT app keeps showing me ads for bras on every article I read. I know I am getting titties, but come on, they are not large enough for bras.

Ngôi nhà Tôi yêu Ngọc Lan được xây dựng vào năm 2003. Đối với internet, 16 năm là một khoản thời gian dài. Chúng tôi sẽ cố gắng duy trì nó để những ai còn yêu Ngọc Lan vẫn có thể trở về mái nhà xưa.

Trong khoảng thời gian qua, ngôi nhà được thiết kế lại nhiều lần để thích hợp với những thay đổi của công nghệ mạng. Chẳng hạn như năm hoặc sáu năm gần đây, bạn có thể ghé thăm nhà bằng bất cứ máy máy vi tính nào. Luôn cả điện thoại thông minh, chữ vẫn có thể đọc được rõ ràng. Với nghệ thuật chữ Việt càng ngày càng phát triển, trang nhà này cũng sẽ thay đổi để có được những fonts mới và đẹp.

Phần ngoài của ngôi nhà thì cũng tạm ổn nhưng phần trong thì có vấn đề. Lúc thành lập trang nhà này, chúng tôi muốn được mở rộng ra cho tất cả những người yêu mến Ngọc Lan được tham gia. Chúng tôi không nghĩ đến việc phần đăng ký bị lạm dụng bởi spammers. Khi chúng tôi đóng trang register năm 2012, số lượng đăng ký đã lên gần đến 6,000 thành viên. Đa số là những thành viên giả tạo để đăng bài quảng cáo và những phần comments rác rưởi. Vì những lý do đó mà trang nhà hoạt động rất chậm. Thậm chí bị hỏng không thể vào được.

Chúng tôi đã bỏ khá nhiều thời gian và công sức để cố gắng ngăn chặn nhưng không thể nào kiểm soát hết 6000 thành viên. Sau một thời gian dài, chúng tôi quyết định thu dọn lại hết phần người đăng ký. Không chỉ những thành viên giả tạo, mà thành viên nào đã đăng nhập nhưng chưa từng viết một bài nào và cũng chưa từng để lại một comment nào, chúng tôi đã xóa đi. Từ 6,000 thành viên, chúng tôi đã giữ lại 468 người đã cống hiến cho trang nhà này.

Tuy nhiên chúng tôi luôn luôn đón nhận những thành viên mới. Nếu bạn yêu mến Ngọc Lan và một tham gia vào gia đình iLoveNgocLan, xin liên lạc cho chúng tôi. Dĩ nhiên là các bạn phải viết bài hoặc comment để account của bạn được tiếp tục hoạt động.

Trong quá trình dọn dẹp, chúng tôi rút ra được một tài liệu thú vị. Sau đây chúng tôi xin được chia sẻ 20 thành viên góp phần viết bài và comment nhiều nhất.

Thành viên viết bài nhiều nhất:

1. ngoc: 86
2. TNS: 73
3. thangdo: 72
4. minhtam: 35
5. vickinguyen1990: 32
6. minhtrang: 30
7. minhkhue_8888: 29
8. TVH: 26
9. nam son: 24
10. Sweetie: 23
11. myall: 22
12. Happy-ghost: 21
13. condautienghatrudoi: 16
14. nick phan: 16
15. happy_ghost: 15
16. nguoitinhnammy88: 15
17. nangxanh: 14
18. Thao: 14
19. kimquan118: 13
20. Trong: 13

Thành viên viết comments nhiều nhất:

1. AngelNgocLan: 819
2. hanhphucdiudang: 438
3. Thuongtiec_NL: 199
4. kimquan118: 159
5. minhtrang: 141
6. Happy-ghost: 123
7. nick phan: 116
8. kimthanh: 109
9. myall: 107
10. Minh Ha: 88
11. thangdo: 75
12. TVH: 70
13. condautienghatrudoi: 69
14. tranthingocyen: 66
15. minhtam: 63
16. Quoc Huy: 57
17. Tu Mi: 56
18. Thao: 53
19. Khongloi: 51
20. Happy-Ghost18: 49

Xin cám ơn tất cả những người yêu Ngọc Lan đã đóng góp cho ngôi nhà này. Xin chúc tất cả năm mới an khang thịnh vượng.

I don’t trust Facebook, and yet I am complicit in using it. Despite knowing its misuse of privacy, I still feed the monster my kids’ photos and videos. I have thought of quitting many times, but I simply can’t shut off my connection with close friends and family members, particularly my parents. If I have the opportunity to see them I would, but it is not always possible. I visit my mom and my sister once or twice a month. I only get to see my dad and my family in Vietnam probably once every 10 years. I am suck and awkward at socializing in real life with friends. As a result, Facebook is still next best thing to stay in touch.

I talk to my mom almost everyday during my drive home from work and she always complimented on the latest photo or video of my kids I posted on Facebook. It makes me happy that she gets to see her grandchildren almost on the daily basis even though we live miles and miles away. My dad in Vietnam also gets a chance to look at his grandsons and they make him happy.

I understand that Facebook isn’t the place to share photos and videos, but it is the only place that my parents can access digital content. So if I overwhelm your feed with baby pictures, please ignore or unfriend me. In the past few days, I reduced my list to family members and friends I know. If you are still here, thank you for all the likes, loves, and positive comments. I truly appreciate them.

I also want to make it clear that these posts do not capture the whole picture. I am absolutely guilty of posting only the good part and leave off the not-so-good part. I am not a great dad as several of you have complimented. I have my share of bad parenting moments. I usually write about them on my blog.

I don’t know how long I will keep my Facebook active. I do hope Mark Zuckerberg and his team get their act together. If not, I will be out. But for know, I am giving Facebook a benefit of a doubt.

I just finished the longest book I have ever read. Through 789 unwasted pages, Jill Lepore, a staff writer at The New Yorker and a professor of American History at Harvard University, has written a compelling and comprehensive history of America spanning over five centuries. Beginning in 1492 with Christopher Columbus first discovered the Indians and ending in 2018 with the current Trump administration, Ms. Lepore told the naked truth of our great yet flawed nation through the concoction of illuminating politics, fascinating biographies, arresting journalism, and sprawling technology.

What I appreciate most is Ms. Lepore’s fearless approach. She isn’t shy away from our painful past, in particular the way America treated Native American, African American, Japanese American, Chinese, and Mexican. When I first set my foot on the “land of opportunity” as an eleven-year-old immigrant, all I knew was that I was about to embark on a journey to find the “American Dream.” I had white teachers who not only taught me English, but also welcomed me with their open arms. I had African-American, Hispanic-American, and Asian-American mentors who made sure I had the best education I could get for my future. I also had co-workers from different backgrounds and we collaborated together as a team. Even though I have been aware of racism, I always felt integrated until the rise of Donald Trump. Having read this book, I see why the references of “Make America Great Again” and “America First” appealed to the white nationalist.

Although Vietnam was my birthplace and I will never forget the first decade of my life, I have lived in the United States for almost three decades. I am a U.S. citizen and America is my home. Despite the current political divisiveness, I strongly believe in the resiliency of democracy of this nation. Not only it will not die, it will become stronger in the next few years or decades as showed through the history of our nation in this book.

Many thanks to my wife for buying me this book for Christmas. I am glad that I had taken the time to read it. If you want to learn about the unique story of America, I highly recommend this book. Even though it might seem long, Ms. Lepore’s clear, concise, and engaging prose will keep you turning the pages. Trust me, I was never interested in reading any form of history. Then again, I would read any book written by any staff writer from The New Yorker.

Thật ngạc nhiên và thú vị khi nghe những jazz arrangements của Võ Thiện Thanh cho các ca khúc của anh. Chẳng hạn như “Sài Gòn có mùa thu” được dàn dựng công phu với big band khiến cho điệu swing tươi vui và đầy nghị lực. Về phần hát, Hồ Trung Dũng luyến láy khôn khéo để hòa hợp với từng thể loại jazz khác nhau. Dũng bay lượn nhẹ nhàng theo nhịp điệu bossa nova trong nhạc phẩm “Sài Gòn có mùa thu” hoặc sâu lắng theo chất blues nồng nàn trong “Đôi mắt.” Ngoài phần hát, những phần tiết tấu tuy ngắn nhưng làm tăng thêm những màu sắc vào những ca khúc. Saigon feel là một thành quả tốt đẹp giữa Dũng và Thanh rất xứng đáng được nhìn nhận và thưởng thức.

Ấn tượng đầu tiên khi nghe Hồng Duyên hát “Guốc mộc” của Hồ Trọng Tấn là giọng hát khoẻ và trẻ thơ (childlike) có phần giống Ngọc Khuê. “Guốc mộc” là một ca khúc quan họ được hoà âm theo nhiệp điệu swing rất dễ thương. Nửa phần đầu của bài dân ca Nghệ Tĩnh “Giận mà thương” được đệm với nhạc cụ guitar điện đơn giản nhưng hơi bị cute. Dân ca Bắc bộ “Gói đánh đò đưa” Hồng Duyên song ca cùng Tạ Quang Thắng được remix lại với nhịp điệu r&b trẻ trung. Đáng lý ra album nên ngưng lại ở dân ca Trung bộ “Lý mười thương” để người nghe được thưởng thức trọn vẹn những bài dân ca. Tuy Hồng Duyên trình bài “Em tôi” của Thuận Yến rất tốt nhưng nó đi lạc hướng. Hai bài cuối cũng chỉ là filler.

Here we go again. My wife and I had another argument over politics. It was about Rashida Tlaib’s remark: “Impeach the motherfucker.” She was mad when I said I don’t see any issue with that. Will I let my kids use that type of language? Well, it depends on how they use it. Đạo and Đán already know the word fuck. I am fine if they use it for emphatic effect or to convey emotion. If Đán comes to me and says, “Daddy, the instant noodles you just made is fucking delicious.” I am cool with that.

In Ms. Tlaib’s case, she was using it for linguistic effect as well. I am so fed up with the double standard in politics and media. A woman gets chastised for using a curse word while men said and do worse things and they get elected to be the president of the United States and justice of the Supreme Court.

“Impeach the motherfucker” is nowhere near “Grab them by the pussy.” The latter is a brag about sexual assault. The distinction is clear. It is all about the context. So go right ahead and impeach the motherfucker.

I knew if I kept arguing with my wife, I would just get myself in more trouble so I just use this blog to express how I feel. Come to think about it, arguing with her makes our lives and marriage more engaging. Otherwise, I am quite a boring motherfucker. She is not only the love of my life, but also the inspiration for me to write all these blog posts.

Jill Lepore writes in The New Yorker:

Sometimes what doesn’t kill you doesn’t make you stronger; it makes everyone sick. The more adversarial the press, the more loyal Trump’s followers, the more broken American public life. The more desperately the press chases readers, the more our press resembles our politics.

The problems are well understood, the solutions harder to see. Good reporting is expensive, but readers don’t want to pay for it. The donation-funded ProPublica, “an independent, nonprofit newsroom that produces investigative journalism with moral force,” employs more than seventy-five journalists. Good reporting is slow, good stories unfold, and most stories that need telling don’t involve the White House.

An informative read. The audio version is also great for driving and listening.

Yesterday I received my first support for this site from a reader. I wrote an email to thank him for his generous contribution and he reminded me that we go all the way back to the Word Cup of 2006. Those days I still had comments turned on. That’s pretty wild that he still continues to visit or read.

Without comments and Google Analytics, I have no idea who still read my blog these days. I have been blogging on this site since 2004 when blogs were booming. Nowadays, independent bloggers like myself are rare. Most blogs have die off. The trend has gone and the incentives are none. I still do it because I don’t rely on my blog to support myself and my family. Nevertheless, I wanted to see if I can get a bit of finance to cover the annual domain name and hosting fees. I added a little message at the bottom of this page for reader support instead of display ads.

If you like what I write on here, please consider support my effort to continue to blog. Any amount is appreciate it.

When Vương was born last year, I took five weeks paternity leave. In addition to changing his diapers and helping out my wife after her C-section, I did some work around the house like constantly doing the laundry and fixing up things that I could not get to when I was working. When I told her that I was able to accomplish those things when I was at home, I was not suggesting that she was not doing anything else at a work-from-home mother. I understand her workloads and I was not expecting her to do the housework. Somehow sharing what I did implying something else about her. I come from the south (of Vietnam); therefore, I do not beat around the bush. I tell her exactly how I feel and I do not have to make any indirect attack. She should know that by now. I did not think anything negative about her. I complained about clutters, but I was not blaming her. I contributed and am responsible for the messiness. l have tremendous respect for what she has done for me and the kids. I did not expect her to taking care of everything.

When we took a week vacation after New Year to relax at Myrtle Beach, I thought we had a wonderful family time together. We stayed at a waterfront resort. It was nice to wake up in the morning to see the sun rise and to breathe in fresh air. We ate breakfast, spent time together with the kids, strolled along the beach, played in the indoor pools, and enjoyed reading in the hot tubs. My wife cooked some meals I did the dishes and laundry. She took care of Vương and I took care of the three kids. We played our parenting parts. It was like a stayed vacation, but far from home. I am a boring-ass motherfucker who enjoys being around his wife and sons. If we can spend time with the ones you love, why do we need to go anywhere? Sure, we could have done that at home, but we don’t get to see the beach, we don’t get to get out of the house, and we don’t get to be lazy because there is always shit to do at home. I thought it was a fantastic vacation until she told me that her role was to serve me. It stabbed me like a knife. I could understand if we served our kids, but I did not understand I was being served. If cooking meant to serve then I was happy just to order out every meal for a week. I did not know that I was being served and I did not want to be served. I believe in women’s rights and equality, and yet here I am treating my own wife like a servant. Her words hurt me tremendously. What did I do that make her feel that way? How do I change that? I feel uncomfortable and we should not take anymore family vacation like that. Let’s just do the all-inclusive package so no cooking and no serving. I am a fat motherfucker who no longer gives a shit about food. I can eat anything that is cooked. So I am not the picky one.

Last Sunday, my sister-in-law brought over some Korean BBQ. We cooked together and I had a few glasses of wine. Somehow the topic of the wall and immigration came up and we got into a heated debate. Somehow my wife got mad at me for calling Vietnamese Americans who voted for Trump stupid. I had to explain that I was not calling them stupid. I just said that they were misinformed and voted for a “fucking moron.” That does not imply that they are the fucking morons. If they want to listen to Vietnamese right-wing media and voted for, that’s thier choice. I just hope that they realize that they hurt their own community when they thought that Trump would fight for them but instead he wanted to deport our own people. As I was doing the dishes after dinner, I realized I was a fucking moron myself. Why did I jeopardize our relationship over this shit? Although she was a good sport, I made sure we were still cool and that she won’t divorce me over the fucking wall. I asked her to do me a favor. The next time I have some wine and started to talk politics, just tell me to shut the fuck up.

We have been married for over a decade; therefore, I can tell when something is up. To find something’s wrong, all I have to say is “I love you.” Her reply would be “No, you don’t.” Then she would tell me all the shit I have done wrong months ago. (I am spilling out my secret here, but it works every time.) We have our differences, but I do not have any regrets about our marriage. I am sure she has a few about me, but I hope they are not enough to leave my sorry ass. To me, she is still amazing. Yes, I said it again and I still mean it. I am blessed and thankful to have my wife and kids in my life everyday.