I hesitated to conduct a sleep study because I didn’t want to wear a mask to sleep every night and maybe for the rest of my life. Even though my internist insisted that I didn’t need it, my wife pressured me to do it. She couldn’t stand my snoring even though we have been sleeping in separate rooms with our doors closed.

I brought the issue with internist again and she recommended the Neurology Center of Fairfax. I chose Dr. Cho based on the positive reviews I have read on Google. He turned out to be great. We did a Zoom meeting, in which he asked me a punch of questions. I also asked him about my concern of sleeping with a mask. I am sure he had received this question from patients over and over again. His response was that many of his patients wouldn’t want to sleep without it after they get used to it.

Dr. Cho wanted to conduct a sleep study in the office so he could get a comprehensive diagnosed, but my insurance denied. My insurance wanted me to do a home study first. I went into Dr. Cho’s office to pick up the test machine and one of his specialists provided me detailed instructions for setting up the test at home.

The sleep study machine was uncomfortable, but I got through it. My apnea-hypopnea index (AHI) was 8, which is a mild case for sleep apnea. an AHI of 30 would consider high risk. Dr. Cho wanted me to go into the office to get further testing and my insurance denied again. It wanted me to go ahead with the CPAP (continuous positive airway pressure) machine. Dr. Cho’s staff referred me to the Bay State Medical. Last Wednesday, I went into its office to pick up Philips’s DreamStation 2 Auto CPAP Advanced. A sleep therapy specialist went over the machine with me in details. He also showed me about half a dozens of masks to choose from. I picked out Fisher & Paykel’s Vitera Full Face Mask.

The specialist warned me that the first two weeks might uncomfortable. If I could use it for an hour a night in the first few nights, that would be find. After that I have to use at least four hours in order for the insurance to pay for the equipments. On Wednesday night, I started using the machine immediately. I was surprised how comfortable it felt. To distract myself from the machine and the mask, I read for half an hour before dozing off. The mask kept my mouth closed so I breath mostly through my nose. I don’t think I was snoring anymore. In the first two nights, I felt the pressured kicked in a few times while I was sleeping. The last three nights, I didn’t feel much as I am starting to get used to the machine. I have been using the machine from 6 to 8 hours a night. My AHI is 2.1, which is lower than 5. This is definitely a good sign. At the same time, I am now depending on this technology for a while or maybe for the rest of my life. Scary isn’t it?

Xuân wrapped up his ice skating lessons for the Tot 3/4 level. He did well on the test. Instead of going to Tot 5, I signed him up for Alpha/Beta. He can swizzle forward and backward. He can glide forward on one foot. I taught him forward crossovers and he can do them as well. He is ready for Alpha/Beta.

I wanted him to skip Tot 5 and go to Alpha, but I signed him up a level and a half higher so that we can have lessons on the same day. His new instructor will be the same as my current instructor. Although she is a great coach.

In the past few months, I had always been looking forward to Tuesdays so I can take Đạo, Đán, and Xuân to ice skating lessons together. I spent half an hour with Đán while Đạo and Xuân took their lessons. I read while Đán played some games on my phone or we observed how Đạo and Xuân were doing. Although their classes were at the same time, they were at different levels with different instructors. Then all four of us skated for 20 minutes before my and Đán’s classes began. Although it seemed mundane, I really enjoyed our time together.

I am already feeling a bit sad that Đán might not continue taking lessons after he finishes Gamma/Delta. He is not interested in figure skating. He wants to go into hockey. I asked him to give the Jackson Freestyle figure skates a try, he skated two times around the rink and gave up. He wanted to get back to his hockey skates. He had no patience and gave up too quickly.

I am enjoying Gamma. It is less stressful than Beta. I will take the next level, which is Delta, but not sure if I will continue into Freestyles after Delta. I am not sure if I can handle all the jumpings and spinnings. I am also still looking into switching my skates from hockey to figure.

Đạo has started the transition and he seems to do fine with figure skates even though he still prefers hockey. He wanted to go further into Freestyles. That’s good for him.

As far as expectations, my wife and I disagreed on what we have for the kids. She wanted them to have goals or make some achievements. She wanted them to work toward joining a hockey team or competing in figure skates. For me, I do not have any expectations. If they want to join a hockey team or compete, I will definitely support them. Otherwise, I am fine with them just skating and taking lessons for recreation. As long as they get off their butts and out of the house, I am satisfied.

I am 43 today. For my birthday, I gifted myself a DreamStation 2, which is a PlayStation for grown men with sleep apnea. Yes, I have been diagnosed with a mild case of apnea. I started using the CPAP machine last night and it didn’t feel so bad. The mask covered both my nose and mouth. It forced my mouth closed; therefore, I was not snoring. At least I thought I didn’t. I breathed mostly through my nose, which is the proper way to breathe.

42 was the most horrendous year of my life. In addition to the pandemic, I have lost both of my parents a month apart. I still haven’t recovered from the shock, the depression, and the grief, but my life needs to go on. I still have four kids to raise. I still have my wife and my mother-in-law. I still have my brothers and sisters. I still have my life ahead.

My professional career is settled. I still work with wonderful, caring, talented colleagues. Outside of my full-time job, I still get to do what I love such as blogging, typesetting, and building websites.

My health seems to be fine thus far. I am hoping to stay healthy as I get older. I still enjoy ice skating with the kids. I also challenge myself with ice-skating lessons. The kids seem to lose interest in rollerblading, but I still enjoy skating at my own pace. I don’t need to go to a rink to rollerblade. The skateparks are always free and I can always rollerblade on bike trails.

As far as life in general, things seem to be getting back to normal. I had my first dose of COVID-19 vaccine. I am getting my next one in two weeks. My wife and I are getting along well for the most part. We don’t have much choice since we have four kids to look after.

As far as personal development, I am staying away from controversies. I am focusing on myself and my family. I don’t need to compare or compete with others. I live my life accordingly and do my best for my kids without spoiling them.

At 43, I don’t wish for much. I am just taking off work on my birthday to relax a bit and to hang out with my kids, and maybe some private moments with my wife. That’s enough celebration for me.

As a tradition, I deactivated my Facebook a few days prior to my birthday and will see how long that will last. I shared too much on that platform, and yet my friend list have been shrinking. My Trump-loving friends and relatives had unfriended me. I tried to save those relationships, but those ships had sailed a long time ago. I am a bit sad, but nothing much I can do. Life goes on the way it does. It’s not the end of the world. The older I get, the less I give a damn. I am just trying to take things easy.

O’Farrell’s essays, dealing with near-death experiences, are both terrific and terrifying. From pulling off an escape from a rapist to grappling with her daughter’s severe allergies, O’Farrell delivered gripping stories through her compelling storytelling. Here’s is an excerpt about her missed miscarriage:

You do walk out. The nurse tries to stop you but you don’t listen. You’ve been through this enough times to be fully aware of “what happens next.” As you take the stairs down, away from the scanning department, you feel the notion, the idea of the child leaving you with each step. You feel its fingers loosening, disentangling themselves from yours. You sense its corporeality disintegrating, becoming mist. Gone is the child with blond or dark or auburn hair; gone is the person they might have been, the children they themselves might have had. Gone is that particular coded mix of your and your husband’s genes. Gone is the little brother or sister you pictured for your son. Gone is the knitted rabbit, wrapped and ready in tissue paper, pushed to the back of a cupboard, because you cannot bring yourself to throw it out or give it away. Gone are your plans for and expectations of the next year of your life. Instead of a baby, there will be no baby.

You must adjust to this new picture. You must give it all up. You must somehow get past the due date: you will dread its coming. On that day you will feel the emptiness of your body, your arms, your house. You must intercept the letters from the maternity unit that keep on coming, despite everything. You must pick them up off the mat, almost persuading yourself that you haven’t seen them, you don’t know what they are. You tear them into flitters and drop them into the bin.

You will watch your body backtrack, go into reverse, unpicking its work: the sickness recedes, your breasts shrink back, your abdomen flattens, your appetite disappears.

I thought of my wife who went through this experience twice and I almost cried.

Mass shootings, domestic violence, police killing civilians, Americans are killed by guns every day. Every time I glanced at the news, someone just got shot somewhere in America. Yesterday I was angry, hopeless and speechless once again to learn that a police officer had shot a sixteen-year-old Black girl four times. Through a body camera, we learned that she was holding a knife and attacking two people. Did she deserve to be killed?

She was a kid and kids don’t know any better. The situation could have been de-escalated without killing her. She was bringing a knife to a gunfight. One shot in her leg could have taken her down. Unloading four bullets on her was unnecessary. Not every situation had to be fatal. We badly need police reforms.

We also badly need gun reforms. Too many innocent lives have been lost if we continue not to do anything about this. Thoughts and prayers clearly don’t work. We need real actions. Human lives should not be a political issue, but I am sounding like a broken record here. How can one of the greatest countries in the world have failed to keep its people safe from gun violence?

Early voting for Virginia’s next governor will begin on April 24, 2021. I am impressed with the diverse candidates in the Democratic party. Senator Jennifer McClellan and former Delegate Jennifer Carroll Foy have entered the race. Lieutenant Governor Justin Fairfax has also thrown his hat into the ring.

After careful research and consideration, I have to go with a 64-year-old White man, Terry McAuliffe, based on his records as our governor in the past. One of McAuliffe’s most notable accomplishments was leading Democrats to victories in the 2017 statewide elections. McAuliffe supported gun control, same-sex marriage, abortion rights, and voting rights.

To keep Virginia blue, I am supporting Terry McAuliffe as our returning governor.

Mỗi buổi sáng thức dậy, tôi ngắm những cánh hoa trên chiếc áo mẹ. Mỗi lần đến tủ quần áo tôi vuốt nhẹ lên miếng vải mút xơ lin mượt mà. Đây là một trong những chiếc áo mẹ thường mặt ngày xưa. Nhìn chiếc áo tôi hình dung ra mẹ đang mặt nó và những nụ cười của mẹ cũng đẹp như những cánh hoa trên đó. Rồi nỗi nghẹn ngào lại ùa về. Sự ra đi của mẹ vẫn là một cú sốc tôi không thể nào vượt qua được.

Tôi mất ba một tháng trước khi tôi mất mẹ nhưng mỗi khi nhớ về ông tôi không xót xa bằng khi nghĩ về bà. Với ba, tôi vẫn giữ mãi những ký ức đẹp. Tuy ba không còn trên thế gian này nữa nhưng tôi vẫn nghĩ ông chỉ ở một nơi xa xôi nào đấy. Trước khi ba mất, tôi đã không chứng kiến nỗi đau đớn ba phải chịu đựng. Sao này khi gặp mặt qua phim ảnh ba đã không có lời lẽ nào để nói với tôi và tôi cũng ngại không biết phải hỏi gì ngoài những câu thường lệ. Chắc ba không muốn tôi phải đau buồn quá khi ông phải ra đi.

Lúc ba từ trần tôi đau lòng nhưng không quá nặng nề. Tôi có thể nắm được lý trí và giữ được cảm xúc của mình. Tôi nhớ đến ông qua những kỷ niệm đẹp. Lần cuối cùng tôi gặp lại ông, hai cha con tuy chỉ có mười mấy ngày gần gũi nhưng đó là những giây phút thật đầm ấm và hạnh phúc nhất của tình cha con. Tôi sẽ giữ mãi trong tim và trí nhớ.

Tôi cũng muốn được như vậy với mẹ nhưng hoàn cảnh của mẹ hoàn toàn khác biệt. Những giây phút đớn đau của mẹ vẫn để lại vết bỏng trong đầu óc và tim tôi. Càng nghĩ đến tôi càng muốn rơi nước mắt. Ngày xưa mỗi lần thức dậy sớm tôi đi bộ hay đọc sách. Giờ đây tôi thức dậy với nỗi bùi ngùi tôi không muốn bước ra khỏi giường càng không muốn đọc. Chỉ muốn nằm đây và viết lên những tâm trạng của mình. Chỉ có viết mới giúp tôi xoa dịu những nỗi đau. Tôi không muốn than phiền với vợ con hoặc những người thân xung quanh về nỗi đau riêng của mình. Còn những dòng tự sự thì tôi viết riêng cho chính mình nhất là những khi nhớ về mẹ.

Đạo and Đán had made tremendous progress according to their third-quarter reports. Their achievement levels had improved drastically. After their setback from the last quarter, my wife and I had some serious talks with them and we hoped that they would put more effort into their school work.

Since my wife and I both work from home and the boys take remote classes, we divided them up into separate rooms. Đạo stayed in her office. Đán and I went down the basement. The process seemed to work.

My wife made sure that Đạo completed his assignments on time. She checked his works before he submitted them. I don’t know about his class participation, but his achievement levels had improved overall. We’re very pleased with his efforts.

As for Đán, I had to constantly remind him to pay attention in class, especially during Spanish. I didn’t understand a word his teacher said so I just left him alone. Unfortunately, he put his head on his desk and zoned out. I got frustrated at times when he consistently did this. We’re still debating to pull him out of Spanish next year, but I really like his upcoming fourth-grade teacher who taught Đạo.

In fact, we kept him in the Engish-Spanish immersion program this year because of his current English teacher. She’s black, tough, and a wonderful educator. She doesn’t mess around, but she gives them credits when they deserve them. We knew that we needed her to help him get better with language arts. I have been learning along with him on poetry, writing, and words. Because I went to school in Vietnamese in third grade, I never learned English’s language arts; therefore, I find them intriguing. I have learned to write different types of poetry. I knew haiku, but I didn’t know anything about acrostic and limerick. If he can learn the foundation, he will have a much easier time later on. I even learned about Ancient China and Ancient Greece for social studies. It felt like I was being in class again and I wanted to participate, but I couldn’t so I encouraged Đán to. We discussed between us first before he raised his hand. He participated more when he felt he had the right answers. His confidence shot up when his teacher smiled and hollered his name.

With the scale of achievement levels from 1 to 4, he had twenty-five 2s last quarter. He made all 3s in the third quarter. In fact, he earned a 4 for writing efforts and another 4 for reading efforts. His teachers definitely noticed and we’re proud of him.

The issue is that he needs someone to constantly remind him and to push him. He needs to be more independence. I am loosening the reins in the last quarter to see how he performs then we will decide if he should be taken out of Spanish.

Xuân will start English-Spanish immersion kindergarten in the fall. More challenges to come and we haven’t even done with his older brothers yet.

I look forward to every Friday to listen to “The Weekly Typographic with Micah Rich and Olivia Kane.” Somehow I missed the section where Olivia mentioned Vietnamese Typography in episode 52. You can skip forward to 22:00 to hear Olivia talked briefly about the entire free book on Vietnamese typography. Thank you, Olivia for the shoutout.

Two weeks ago, we received a “friendly reminder” from our homeowners association telling us to edge our sidewalk, take care of our lawn (weed/feed), and tidy up our front yard. So we’re paying the homeowners association an annual fee so they can tell us what to do. How ironic is that?

In my defense, I like my lawn natural—no weeding and no feeding. We have kids running around our yard; therefore, we don’t want to use any chemical to kill the weeds. As for the edging, I liked my grass to grow organically even if it spread over the sidewalk. The homeowners association staff told me that the sidewalk must fit two people. My sidewalk definitely has enough space for two people and I am fine with them walking on my lawn. But to comply, I picked up a True Temper turf edger. My wife told me to get a power one, but I got a manual one so my sons can help me. I am thinking of picking up a manual lawnmower for them to do some exercise.

I don’t want to rely on technology too much. If I can reduce it, I will. For example, everyone in my family uses electric toothbrush, but I still a hand brush. I prefer physical books over e-books. During the pandemic, I did not use our car as much. I wish that one day, maybe when the kids grow up, I will get rid of the vehicles. My future goal is to move away from dishwasher, washer, and dryer. These tasks can be done by hands. I am looking forward to doing things manually again.