Start brainstorming colleges. Keep your grades up! Get involved in your passions

Students, the college application process should be fun and exciting! Please be mindful that everyone approaches this process differently. Be kind to yourself and your peers. We are all trying our best!

Talk about finances. Stay on top of Deadlines. Focus on your own process. Have fun

Parents, this is one of the most stressful processes your children have ever gone through. Please be their biggest cheerleader and supporter. Comparing your child to others or putting undue pressure on them is not helpful during their search. Every student is different and has a different school they will call home.

FAFSA – Free Application for Federal Student Aid

• Determine need-based aid
• Federal Subsidized Loans
• Federal Unsubsidized Loans
• Parent-Plus Loan

Scholarships

• Merit-Scholarships from Colleges Students do not pay these back Apply, apply, apply!
• Scholarships.com
• Fastweb.com

Private Loans

Private loans are an option, but please be mindful they often come with incredibly high interest rates. You should try to avoid these if at all possible.

Discuss Finances Early and Often

• College is expensive.
• Parents and students need to have open and honest communication about finances.
• Parents, whatever you feel you can contribute to college, if anything needs to be discussed. Signing up for loans is easy, paying it back post-graduation is very hard.
• You do not want your student falling in love with a school that is not financially feasible

Last Friday, I went to Costco and picked up a cardboard representation of a JBL Live 675NC wireless headphone for $60 (after $40 off). After paying for it, I went to the merchandise-pickup location to swap the cardboard for the actual product. An employee gave me a box with white paper wrapped around it.

When I got home, I ripped off the white paper and the box revealed the Sony WH1000XM5/SA box, which cost $280 (after $70 off). It was obviously a mistake. Should I keep it or should I return it? I asked my kids to see what they would do. One of them suggested I should keep it while the rest of my kids and my wife suggested that I should do the right thing.

I just wanted to see how well we raised our kids. Costco probably couldn’t care less, but the employee could be in trouble for his mistake. Yesterday, I went back to make the corrections. They made me wait so they could track down who made the mistake. In addition, they checked the video recording to make sure I was not stealing it.

This is your moment to show off your personality! Here are a few tips and tricks for tackling the college essay:

• Stay away from heavy imagery
• Every word in the essay must be necessary
• DO NOT stress about a topic
• Focus on yourself and your story
• Think about the qualities colleges want on their campus
• If you aren’t funny normally, don’t try humor in your college essays
• You do not need to be the most unique, you just need to be genuine!
• This essay is NOT going to make or break your future, don’t give it that power
• Get the essay proofread — Grammarly is not enough
• “Cliche” topics are not off limits, your story is your story
• If you are stuck, just write something, the rest will come
• BEWARE: Trauma-dumping – tread carefully!

Around this time of the year, I like to tune into jazz. On Saturday, I woke up early to drive an hour and a half to Whitetail to attend the Returning Instructor Meeting. The weather was wet and rainy. The fragrance of freshly brewed coffee permeated inside my car. I fired up Spotify and searched for the latest jazz releases. Chihiro Yamanaka’s Ooh-La-La caught my attention.

The album kicks off with an uptempo, bop-driven rendition of César Camargo Mariano’s “Curumim.” After a brief trio intro, Yamanaka launched into a virtuosic piano solo. I didn’t know who Yamanaka was, but I knew immediately that my car ride would be wonderful. With “Desafinado,” the rhythm section (John Davis on drums and Yoshi Waki on bass) keeps the Brazilian groove at a much faster pace while Yamanaka improvises on her piano, which showcases her classical chops.

With Stevie Wonder’s “You Are the Sunshine of My Life,” the trio turns to swing, which gives the vibe of the winter holidays. With Milton Nascimento’s “Vera Cruz” Yamanaka switches to an electric keyboard for some funk-jazz flavor. Yamanaka’s embrace of versatility makes her a fascinating artist.

Not just Yamanaka, but I had listened to quite a bit of talented Japanese jazz artists including Hiromi, Keiko Matsui, and Toshiko Akiyoshi. Japan is really into jazz. I have so much for Japanese culture. They keep their traditions, but they also push forward with innovations. They take things from the West and make them their own. They have done it with whiskey, snowboarding, and, of course, jazz. They don’t cut corners. They put out quality products.

I enjoyed Ooh-La-La in its entirety. I will definitely look for more jazz albums from Chihiro Yamanaka.

• Transcript
• Essays (650 words. Focus on yourself)
• SAT/ACT (optional)
• Part-Time Job
• Volunteering
• Extracurriculars
• Recommendation Letters (2 teachers)
• School Profile
• Awards
• Everything Else…

CommonApp

Web-based platform to simplify applying to college

Early Decision (ED)

A decision option that requires students enroll in that school if admitted. Legally-binding

Early Action (EA)

A decision option that allows students to apply early and hear back early. Non-binding.

Regular Decision (RD)

Last available deadline and decisions are typically released In March-April.

Rolling Admission

No hard deadline. Decisions are released on a continual basis.

Deferred Admission

Applied EA or ED and the school sees potential but wants to see more. Ex. 1^st semester grades.

Waitlist

Applied and the school may admit you if there is space available.

Test-Optional

Students can submit SAT/ACT scores only if they want

Test-Blind

The school will not review SAT/ACT scores even II student submits them.

My wife sat me down and told me straight to my face, “You need counseling.” She’s right. I have issues and I need some counseling to help my emotions from bouncing off the walls. I have someone in mind—a girl I used to date briefly in high school. We used to talk over the phone for hours for free. Now that she’s a counselor, I just need to pay her to talk to me. I disclosed it with my wife up front and she cleared it.

I have never talked to a counselor before. I just write down my problems and get them out of my system. That’s why I still love blogging after 22 years. Writing helps me work through my emotional issues. When facing people who are too close to my heart, I cannot control my emotions. I either break down or burst out. When it comes to emotions, I am either all in or all out. I don’t have a mechanism to balance my emotions.

As a father, I invested too much of my emotions into my kids. Of course, all parents do. I care about their wellbeing. I worry about their future. I would like them to be kind and compassionate. I would like them to celebrate their successes, but I also want them to deal with their failures. On the other hand, I can just fulfill my responsibilities as a father and leave my emotions out of our relationships. I tried, but I failed and I got frustrated, especially as the kids grew older. The same with our marriage, I am either all in or all out. I love my wife with all my heart and emotions. I can’t do it any other way. I just have to keep it real.

I am not even sure if I make any sense. I am still trying to work out how I interact with the people around me. How much space should I keep to myself? How comfortable can I be with everyone around me? I don’t know what the answer is. All I know is that the worst thing is to pretend to care if I don’t give a fuck.

Đạo is now a junior in high school. It’s time to start his college application. I am just putting together some resources here for him and anyone else who might be interested. He will need to do most of the work himself.

Junior Year

Fall/Winter

• Think Broadly!
• Big vs Small
• Public vs Private
• In-State vs Out-of-State
• Close by vs Far away
• City vs Rural vs Suburban
• Begin discussing finances and paying for college

Spring

Visit different types of schools. Ex: Virginia Commonwealth vs James Madison. Swarthmore vs Johns Hopkins

Between Junior and Senior

Summer

• Tour Schools
• Brainstorm Essay Topics
• Apply to Scholarships
• Choose Letter Recommenders

Senior Year

Fall

• Finalize College List
• Write College Essays
• Fill Out CommonApp
• Write College Supplements
• Submit the FAFSA
• Apply to Scholarships

Winter

• Apply for Regular Decision
• Begin Hearing Back From Schools Continue Applying to Scholarships

Spring

• Choose Which College to Attend
• Make Sure You are on Track to Graduate
• Finish Your Classes Strong
• Graduate!

Yesterday evening started off as just a typical Wednesday. I came home from work, ate a quick dinner, then chauffeured Đán and Xuân to their piano lessons. We went back home, dropped Ðán off, then headed to Daddy Volleyball Night. Xuân and Vương would tag along so they could hang out with their scout buddies. Since Vương had a fractured arm, I didn’t take him with us. I didn’t want him to play around, which might make his injury worse.

Dads played several games of volleyball, laughing, and joking around. At around 9:50 pm, Xuân came up to me to inform me that he just vomited after eating half a cookie with his friend. His lower lip also looked swollen. I left the game and took him home. On the way, he complained that he started having chest pain. I called my wife and decided to head to the emergency room instead.

Xuân informed the doctor that his throat and tongue were itchy. His breathing was fine, but he experienced some chest pain. He met all the allergic symptoms; therefore, they administered him allergic medication through the IV line. Benadryl knocked him out. They monitored him until 1:00 am before they released him.

Right after the incident, I asked the other kid’s dad if he knew what kind of nuts were in the cookie. He replied, “Walnut,” and immediately apologized. I told him it was not his fault and it was not his kid’s fault either. His kid did ask Xuân if he had an allergy before sharing his cookie. Xuân didn’t have any allergic reactions in the past, but now we know.

Even though it was not his fault, the dad said sorry. It was just the right thing to say. I am glad that common courtesy still exists. For a minute, I thought we had lost decency. If “Sorry seems to be the hardest word,” simply “Is he OK?” would be sufficient.

Năm ngoái tôi đã nghe Những khúc hát với Nam của nhạc sĩ Quốc Bảo và ca sĩ Phạm Hoài Nam. Có lẽ đêm nay mang tâm trạng thật buồn nên nghe lại càng thấm hơn. Với ca từ sâu lắng của nhạc sĩ Quốc Bảo cùng tiếng hát đầy cảm xúc và trải nghiệm của anh Phạm Hoài Nam, album này diễn đạt tâm trạng buồn của đàn ông.

“Chỉ có bóng tôi” là một bài ballad hiện đại mà Phạm Hoài Nam hát như móc ruột gan: “Chợt thức giữa đêm nằm đếm vết thương / Chợt thấy cõi lòng sao nghe luôn đắng”. Chỉ có những người đã từng trải qua mới thấu được giữa đêm nằm đếm vết thương trong lòng.

“Câu ru tình cũ” mở màn với dàn nhạc orchestra tạo nên một nỗi buồn vời vợi. Không chỉ thế mà ca từ như đâm vào trọng điểm: “Một khi giữa cơn mơ run lên vì buồn và lạnh / Ai sẽ về bên mình? / Tình yêu đến như mây ngang qua / Nụ hôn gió đưa mây đi xa”. Đàn ông cũng sợ nỗi cô đơn vô cùng.

Khi đàn ông cô đơn và buồn thì tìm đến rượu. Trong “Vui cõi riêng” Quốc Bảo tâm sự: “Người đi vắng thôi / Hôm nay người đi vắng thôi / Tôi đem rượu tôi ra uống / Đã say mềm”. Trong “Thời gian” and cũng nhắc đến rượu: “Thời gian đã gọi tên / Chỉ ta thôi mà em / Mình uống ly rượu đêm / Gần đến sáng ngày mai”.

Ca từ của Quốc Bảo mới mẻ trong cách xếp chữ. Trong “Bài ca đôi” có câu: “Tự nhiên đóa hoa vàng nở trong trí chưa tan / Hình như đã yêu / Sau đó sẽ không được yêu.” Hoặc trong “Pha lê đã vỡ”, với giai điệu blues, có câu “Tình tôi xin hết / Tình tôi xin hết lòng thôi / Yêu là hết lòng thôi”.

Dạo này nhiều chuyện xảy ra nên tâm trạng tôi buồn thê thảm. Chắc cũng phải lôi rượu ra uống cho đến gần sáng và nghe thêm Những khúc hát với Nam để vơi đi nỗi sầu.