My wife sat me down and told me straight to my face, “You need counseling.” She’s right. I have issues and I need some counseling to help my emotions from bouncing off the walls. I have someone in mind—a girl I used to date briefly in high school. We used to talk over the phone for hours for free. Now that she’s a counselor, I just need to pay her to talk to me. I disclosed it with my wife up front and she cleared it.

I have never talked to a counselor before. I just write down my problems and get them out of my system. That’s why I still love blogging after 22 years. Writing helps me work through my emotional issues. When facing people who are too close to my heart, I cannot control my emotions. I either break down or burst out. When it comes to emotions, I am either all in or all out. I don’t have a mechanism to balance my emotions.

As a father, I invested too much of my emotions into my kids. Of course, all parents do. I care about their wellbeing. I worry about their future. I would like them to be kind and compassionate. I would like them to celebrate their successes, but I also want them to deal with their failures. On the other hand, I can just fulfill my responsibilities as a father and leave my emotions out of our relationships. I tried, but I failed and I got frustrated, especially as the kids grew older. The same with our marriage, I am either all in or all out. I love my wife with all my heart and emotions. I can’t do it any other way. I just have to keep it real.

I am not even sure if I make any sense. I am still trying to work out how I interact with the people around me. How much space should I keep to myself? How comfortable can I be with everyone around me? I don’t know what the answer is. All I know is that the worst thing is to pretend to care if I don’t give a fuck.

Đạo is now a junior in high school. It’s time to start his college application. I am just putting together some resources here for him and anyone else who might be interested. He will need to do most of the work himself.

Junior Year

Fall/Winter

• Think Broadly!
• Big vs Small
• Public vs Private
• In-State vs Out-of-State
• Close by vs Far away
• City vs Rural vs Suburban
• Begin discussing finances and paying for college

Spring

Visit different types of schools. Ex: Virginia Commonwealth vs James Madison. Swarthmore vs Johns Hopkins

Between Junior and Senior

Summer

• Tour Schools
• Brainstorm Essay Topics
• Apply to Scholarships
• Choose Letter Recommenders

Senior Year

Fall

• Finalize College List
• Write College Essays
• Fill Out CommonApp
• Write College Supplements
• Submit the FAFSA
• Apply to Scholarships

Winter

• Apply for Regular Decision
• Begin Hearing Back From Schools Continue Applying to Scholarships

Spring

• Choose Which College to Attend
• Make Sure You are on Track to Graduate
• Finish Your Classes Strong
• Graduate!

Yesterday evening started off as just a typical Wednesday. I came home from work, ate a quick dinner, then chauffeured Đán and Xuân to their piano lessons. We went back home, dropped Ðán off, then headed to Daddy Volleyball Night. Xuân and Vương would tag along so they could hang out with their scout buddies. Since Vương had a fractured arm, I didn’t take him with us. I didn’t want him to play around, which might make his injury worse.

Dads played several games of volleyball, laughing, and joking around. At around 9:50 pm, Xuân came up to me to inform me that he just vomited after eating half a cookie with his friend. His lower lip also looked swollen. I left the game and took him home. On the way, he complained that he started having chest pain. I called my wife and decided to head to the emergency room instead.

Xuân informed the doctor that his throat and tongue were itchy. His breathing was fine, but he experienced some chest pain. He met all the allergic symptoms; therefore, they administered him allergic medication through the IV line. Benadryl knocked him out. They monitored him until 1:00 am before they released him.

Right after the incident, I asked the other kid’s dad if he knew what kind of nuts were in the cookie. He replied, “Walnut,” and immediately apologized. I told him it was not his fault and it was not his kid’s fault either. His kid did ask Xuân if he had an allergy before sharing his cookie. Xuân didn’t have any allergic reactions in the past, but now we know.

Even though it was not his fault, the dad said sorry. It was just the right thing to say. I am glad that common courtesy still exists. For a minute, I thought we had lost decency. If “Sorry seems to be the hardest word,” simply “Is he OK?” would be sufficient.

Năm ngoái tôi đã nghe Những khúc hát với Nam của nhạc sĩ Quốc Bảo và ca sĩ Phạm Hoài Nam. Có lẽ đêm nay mang tâm trạng thật buồn nên nghe lại càng thấm hơn. Với ca từ sâu lắng của nhạc sĩ Quốc Bảo cùng tiếng hát đầy cảm xúc và trải nghiệm của anh Phạm Hoài Nam, album này diễn đạt tâm trạng buồn của đàn ông.

“Chỉ có bóng tôi” là một bài ballad hiện đại mà Phạm Hoài Nam hát như móc ruột gan: “Chợt thức giữa đêm nằm đếm vết thương / Chợt thấy cõi lòng sao nghe luôn đắng”. Chỉ có những người đã từng trải qua mới thấu được giữa đêm nằm đếm vết thương trong lòng.

“Câu ru tình cũ” mở màn với dàn nhạc orchestra tạo nên một nỗi buồn vời vợi. Không chỉ thế mà ca từ như đâm vào trọng điểm: “Một khi giữa cơn mơ run lên vì buồn và lạnh / Ai sẽ về bên mình? / Tình yêu đến như mây ngang qua / Nụ hôn gió đưa mây đi xa”. Đàn ông cũng sợ nỗi cô đơn vô cùng.

Khi đàn ông cô đơn và buồn thì tìm đến rượu. Trong “Vui cõi riêng” Quốc Bảo tâm sự: “Người đi vắng thôi / Hôm nay người đi vắng thôi / Tôi đem rượu tôi ra uống / Đã say mềm”. Trong “Thời gian” and cũng nhắc đến rượu: “Thời gian đã gọi tên / Chỉ ta thôi mà em / Mình uống ly rượu đêm / Gần đến sáng ngày mai”.

Ca từ của Quốc Bảo mới mẻ trong cách xếp chữ. Trong “Bài ca đôi” có câu: “Tự nhiên đóa hoa vàng nở trong trí chưa tan / Hình như đã yêu / Sau đó sẽ không được yêu.” Hoặc trong “Pha lê đã vỡ”, với giai điệu blues, có câu “Tình tôi xin hết / Tình tôi xin hết lòng thôi / Yêu là hết lòng thôi”.

Dạo này nhiều chuyện xảy ra nên tâm trạng tôi buồn thê thảm. Chắc cũng phải lôi rượu ra uống cho đến gần sáng và nghe thêm Những khúc hát với Nam để vơi đi nỗi sầu.

Gucci Mane, without a doubt, one of the hardest-working rappers in the game. Even when he was behind bars, he was still pushing bars. In the intro of his latest double album release, Episodes, he boasts, “I shot my shot at the stars, somehow I landed on Mars / I went from bein’ behind bars, now I’m rappin’ my bars.”

Gucci has an ear for beats. Most of the productions on “Episodes” are gritty and lively. Gucci also has mastered the art of flow. When he rhymes slow, his flow is hypnotic. When he rhymes fast, his flow is infectious. Listen to the second verse on “Voices” to see how effortlessly switches up his flow.

On occasions, he throws out some hilarious punchlines. On “Gucci Special,” he rhymes, “Got me a new fun bitch, she comes with a water park.” On “Still Icy,” he brags, “I got so much cash that I named my daughter Iceland / Yeah, this the life and all this money is enticing.” Elsewhere he gloats, “Money like Monopoly, I told speak in Guapanese.” WTF is Guapanese? I am learning a new word everyday.

As much as I enjoy the banging beats, the virtuosic flows, and the witty punchlines, I can’t get past the misogynistic lyrics. In every track, Gucci talks about women in derogatory ways, but these bars are so wrong on many levels: “I think this ho special ed / Way she drools on this dick, swear this ho needs a helmet / The way I keep dick in the bitch / Got her legs shaking like her name Elvis the Pelvis.” Struggling with mental health, Gucci hears “Voices” in his head. I wonder which head he’s referring to. He needs help regardless.

In “Forest,” he plugs his new memoir: “I turned my life into a book, I’m rich off literature.” If Episode the album complements Episodes the book then I won’t look forward to reading it.

The good news is that the cast keeps Vương’s arm in place; therefore, he doesn’t need surgery yet. Because the fractured bone is so close to his elbow, it can be moved. He’ll have to come back next week for another x-ray to determine if he wouldn’t need surgery at all. It’s another week of patiently waiting.

The bad news is that Vương won’t be able to ski this winter. The fracture will need three to four months to completely heal. Our annual winter break ski trip might need to be cancelled this year. Our family skiing experience won’t be the same without him on the slopes. He’s an integral part of the crew. He always led us into the trees. Watching him grow as a skier and riding alongside with him had always been a joy for me. Hopefully, he will be able to join us in January, 2026.

Anyway, shit happens. We’ll just have to adjust our plans and adapt to our circumstances. His recovery is our priority right now. Everything else can wait.

It has been 10 days since Vương’s arm is fractured. Today we need to take him back to the pediatric orthopedic for an x-ray to determine if he would need surgery or not.

The last 10 days seemed like eternity. I constantly have to remind him not to move his fractured arm around too much. I have been praying that he wouldn’t need surgery to put a screw in his bone.

We were talking about skiing at dinner last night and Vương said sadly, “I am not going to be able to ski or snowboard.” Damn! That cut like a knife. If he won’t need surgery, he will be out of his cast in less than 3 weeks.

Needless to say, I couldn’t sleep last night. I couldn’t stop thinking about it. As I am writing this post, I am feeling butterflies in my stomach. I am taking the day off from work because I am not going to be able to concentrate on anything else other than his arm.

This is the first time in my life that I am dealing with bone injuries. I hope it is my last. Vương is the one with the fractured bone and yet it hurts me more than I am being injured myself. I am praying that his bone is healing well and no surgery required.

Today is Election Day in Virginia. I will head to the poll and cast my vote for all Democrats:

• Abigail D. Spanberge for Governor
• Ghazala F. Hashmi for Lieutenant Governor
• Jay C. Jones for Attorney General
• David L. Bulova for Member House of Delegates 11^th District

I urge you to vote for candidates with a D next to their name to resist the current president and his administration. Our constitution is under attack. Our democracy is dying. Our country is falling under autocracy. Voting for Democrats is the only way to take back our government from an authoritarian.

Đêm qua thao thức suốt đêm suy ngẫm về những chuyện xảy ra gần đây. Chẳng lẽ lại mượn rượu giải sầu? Tôi đành mở Spotify lên nghe. Không biết là tình cờ hay cái thuận toán của Spotify thông minh đến nỗi đã nắm được tâm trạng của tôi mà nó cho tôi nghe ca khúc “Kỷ Niệm” của nhạc sĩ Phạm Duy qua tiếng hát Phạm Hoài Nam.

“Kỷ Niệm” bắt đầu với tiếng đàn guitar mộc mạc cùng với tiếng dế gáy trong đêm khuya, anh hát “Cho tôi”… bỏ một khoản trống rồi tiếp tục, “lại”… Anh nhả chữ “lại” với một tâm trạng mệt mỏi của một người từng trải. Mười mấy năm trước nghe ca khúc này, dĩ nhiên hai câu tôi thích nhất là, “Tôi mơ thành triệu phú, cứu vớt gái bơ vơ / Tôi mơ thành thi sĩ, đem thơ dệt mộng hờ”. Nhưng giờ đây, hai câu này mới thấm: Tôi không đòi khôn khéo, tôi không đòi bao nhiêu / Cho tôi lòng non yếu, dễ khóc dễ tin theo”.

Đương nhiên Phạm Hoài Nam không thể hát “Tình lỡ” của nhạc sĩ Thanh Bình trau chuốt như những ca sĩ chuyên hát nhạc trữ tình, nhưng anh đem đến những cảm xúc riêng của anh. Với tiếng đệm của đàn dương cầm, anh hát, “Thôi rồi”… Cách anh phát âm chữ “rồi” nhẹ nhàng nhưng không còn một chút hy vọng, “còn chi đâu em ơi”.

Với “Áo lụa Hà Đông” của nhạc Ngô Thụy Miên được Phạm Hoài Nam thổi vào làng gió blues nhưng vẫn giữ được cái đẹp của nắng Sài Gòn. “Gặp nhau làm ngơ” của nhạc sĩ Trần Thiện Thanh và “Tôi đưa em sang sông” của nhạc sĩ Nhật Ngân và Y Vũ được đổi sang nhịp điệu swing rất tao nhã. “Lệ đá” của nhạc sĩ Trần Trịnh được làm khác lạ qua điệu bossa nova.

Tuy 12 ca khúc trong album Hát lời nào nhớ, đã phát hành năm 2019, đều quen thuộc cả, nhưng Phạm Hoài Nam đã biến chúng nó thành của riêng anh. Với không gian acoustic pha vào một chút jazz và cách anh xử lý ca từ đã giúp tôi vượt qua một đêm đầy tâm trạng mà không cần đến men rượu.

I tuned up a young man’s snowboard for $50. Yesterday he came to pick it up and tipped me $10. I didn’t expected it. As far as I could remember, it could be the first tip I ever received in my life. It made me even more appreciative of his generosity.

I taught snowboarding last season and I received no tip at all. I was not complaining though. I was doing it for fun and, of course, for the free passes. Although it is not required, you should tip the instructors if you take skiing or snowboarding lessons and if they had done an excellent job. We get paid very little.

On the other hand, these group and private lessons aren’t cheap either; therefore, don’t worry about tipping if you can’t. We do our job regardless to help you enjoy an experience of a lifetime.