Fuck Global Warming. R. Kelly’s heavy-sexualized Double Up is hotter than hell and more polluting than any climate crisis on earth. The days of bump and grind are long gone. Fellows, he’s done with fucking your wife and being trapped in the closet. Ladies, he’s no longer interested in just sticking his key into your ignition, but your girlfriend’s as well. As declared on the title track, he’s about to double up with two chicks, one in each joint.

Kelly is one sick motherfucker, but he doesn’t give a fuck. With his sultry voice lyricizing graphical contents over rousing beats, the R&B singer never fails to touch the G-spot. Even after he was caught on camera boning and pissing on a minor, and although he could face serious jail time if proven guilty, he still makes mad freaky recordings. On “The Zoo,” he boasts, “Girl, I got you so wet like a rain forest.” He sure rained on her with his urination. Then on “Sex Planet” he claims to touch your soul once he entered your black hole. Would you trust this pedophile? Sure you would.

On one side, Kelly could make inspirational records if he wants to. His mega hit for the Space Jam soundtrack, “I Believe I Can Fly,” was selected as a theme song for my class in high school. On the new album, he wrote, “Rise Up,” a heartfelt tribute to the Virginia Tech tragedy as well as “Havin’ a Baby,” a joy of being a father. On the flip side, he could be a real misogynist dickhead too. It’s disheartening to a hear the same guy who encouraged you with “I believe I can fly / I believe I can touch the sky / I think about it every night and day / Spread my wings and fly away” then turned around and dropped in your face with “Fuck me? Girl, fuck you. / … / The next time your ass gets horny / Go fuck one of your funky-ass friends. / Hell, you’ve probably doing that shit anyway.” But hey, that’s the multi-talented R. Kelly.

Vo Thien Thanh’s “Uoc Gi” vs. Jim Brickman’s “Night Prayer.”

James Surowiecki from the New Yorker wrote an excellent piece on how the overload of “Feature Presentation” makes a product less usable and how consumers are willing to pay extra for more options but ending up returning the product quickly. A good product should do what you need and nothing you do.

In order to get the Web site realign and ready for the Class of 2007 Commencement, I was assigned to work with my colleague Tim Brown, and it turned out to be a great collaborative effort. I worked with Tim before, but never on a one-on-one partnership like this.

Our challenge was to meet the tight deadline, which was a week. So we had to work together off the same site on the same server and at the same time without overwriting each other’s work. To do so, we not only had divided up the pages, but also alternated our tasks. So if he worked on CSS, I worked on HTML and we switched up like a tag team.

As a result, we were able to accomplish our goal within three days. The new site is now easier to use as well as cleaner in codes. The content is much more organized and the visual layout is a bit enhanced. I am so glad that our boss had paired us up for this project. The experience was so effective that I am looking forward for more collaboration in the near future. You’re the man, Tim!

It’s about time the jazz freak from Seattle is plugging Tuan Ngoc. You’ll probably love to hear that neither his rendition of “Ghen” nor “Amor” swings me. His delivery is passable, but Asia’s arrangement fails me on both tracks. Now if you want some decent swing, Duc Tuan’s version of “Ghen” is a much better choice. Swing on, dude!

Once in a while, a sweet lady in our department would bring in my favorite fruitcake her aunt made. The fruitcake is so heavily saturated with whiskey that I get a buzz eating it for breakfast. If that is not a perfect way to start off your working day, than I don’t know what is. Thanks Mary!

I was planning on taking Samantha and Eric to see Shrek the Third this Memorial weekend, but is this kind of animated film still made for kids? In a review of Shrek from the New Yorker, David Denby writes, “The ‘Shrek’ movies are funny, but the wised-up style of the comedy—the Hollywood put-ons and inside gags—has sour roots, and, after a while, the industry jokiness becomes a little nauseating.”

The last time I was home with the kids, I dropped my book while reading when I heard Samantha sang something. I asked her what she just sang, she repeated, “Let’s talk about egg, baby.” I thought I heard she was singing Salt N Peppa’s “Let’s Talk About Sex.” I asked her where she heard that song from and she said Happy Feet. They substituted the word that is pretty darn close for the kids to sing along. Now that is nauseating.

R. Kelly’s “Rise Up,” a tribute to Virginia Tech. Although the song doesn’t sit well with the rest of the tracks on Double Up, it does show a different angle of him.

Samantha and Eric are back. If you don’t see them, refresh your browser.

Typographic design and illustration by Craig Ward.