Netflix’s latest documentary by Jehane Noujaim and Karim Amer examines the use of private date from Cambridge Analytica through Facebook to influence the outcome of 2016 election as well as Brexit. If you haven’t deleted your Facebook, you might want to change your mind after watching this film.

In a small hamlet in New York called Fishs Eddy, forty family members with ages ranging from 10-month to eighty-something-year-old gathered from Mexico, Toronto, China, Texas, New Jersey, and Virginia just to be together for an entire week. I am still in awe with the effort to bring a dynamic superfamily under one roof. Thanks to the organizers, the cooks, the dish cleaners, the trash collectors, and everyone who made this special occasion filled with food, drinks, joy, and love.

Food brought people together. From home-cook meals to instant noodles to fruits and vegetables to hotdogs and hamburgers to snacks and sweets, we never ran out of options to eat. Our stomach was only our limitation. No matter what age group we were hanging out in, meal times were bonding times. Everyone came together to enjoy excellent dishes prepared with love and collaboration. I am embarrassed to say that I didn’t hold up my end of the bargain. I managed to burn the delicious flans when I was asked to keep an eye on the oven. I fell asleep after many shots of Patrón.

Drinking was undoubtedly one of my personal favorite activities at the reunion. After a long day of babysitting the kids, playing with them in the pool, and taking care of their meals and baths, drinking was my way to relax and to connect with the cousins in my age group. Between the cousins, we tackled a wide range of issues including marriage, parenting, religion, abortion, gun, and “the book.” Before the reunion, I told myself to steer away from politics and sensitive subjects, but when drinks flowed in, words flew out. I was glad that we were able to be honest and respectful to each other. We agreed to disagree. I learned from different perspectives. For example, anh Quý and I had many opposing views, but I deeply admired his reasoning, articulation, and kindness. I trusted him and appreciated his openness. I wish uncle Bích was still with us to be part of the conversation.

As for the aunts and uncles, they were still in good health and willing to travel to be with their siblings, children, and grandchildren. The bond between them was stronger than ever. They were the anchor that keeps the reunion going. Of course, we didn’t forget uncle Thịnh who left us two years ago during the reunion. Rest in peace, uncle Thịnh and uncle Bích.

As for the kids, they bonded over video game, poker, Mahjong, Netflix, and snacks. They did not seem to mind not doing much outdoor activities as long as they had their digital devices. They had changed drastically over the years. I miss the good old days of the kids performing, dancing, and singing in front of the family. For entertainment, highlights were Đạo performed a few tunes on his viola while Xuân and Alex got their groove on.

Other than a minor collision, in which a deer ran into aunt Bé’s rental car, the 2019 family reunion was unforgettable. Everyone was eager and excited to see each other again and to meet the newest addition (baby Vương) to the family. A week was just enough time for us to bond without getting on each other’s nerves. Driving back home after an eventful week, I was exhausted. On top of that, the combination of hard liquor and sleep deprivation made my mood sentimental. I already missed our family. I can’t wait to see them again next year.

In the middle of the night, Đán stormed out of bed and into the bathroom. He turned on the light, urinated, turned off the light, and went back to bed without flushing. I went to check and didn’t see any urine in the toilet. He pissed into the trash can instead. Unbelievable!

As our week-long family reunion winding down, I wanted a short, enlightening read. Fred Rogers’s priceless collection of wise words fit the mood. Whether on love, respect, friendship, or difficult time, his messages were filled generosity, kindness, altruism, compassion, sympathy, and empathy. On parenting, he reminds us to think of the children first:

If you ever have anything to do with their entertainment, their food, their toys, their custody, their childcare, their health care, their education – listen to the children, learn about them, learn from them. Think of the children first.

On the meaning of peace, Rogers’s definition is simply powerful: “Peace means far more than the opposite of war!”

Gornick’s memoir is beautifully-written. Her prose is concise and poetic. Grew up in the Bronx and moved to the City, she captures New York with love and a keen observation. A great vacationing read.

When a kid told me to “Go back to China,” I used my limited English to reply to him, “I no from China.” Then he said, “Go back to wherever you came from.” That was twenty-seven years ago when I first came to this country at the age of twelve. The unwelcomeness hurt me deeply. I wanted to cry and I wanted to go back. I didn’t know why we came here. My mother never explained to me. I just came for the ride. I missed Vietnam terribly. I missed the familiar language, places, and faces. I was comfortable in an environment where I was not bullied, singled out, or laughed at. I missed my home, neighbors, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, brothers, sisters, and most of all, dad.

My childhood was robbed. I turned from a happy, social kid to a sad, lonesome boy in a new, strange place. Fortunately, the adults stepped in to turn things around. From my ESL teachers to my Upward Bound mentors to my friends and family members in Lancaster, Pennsylvania, they gave me a different perspective on America. Through their kindness and opening arms, they showed me that America was built on immigrants. Whether you are new to this country or you were born here from parents or grandparents of immigrants, we are all here together as a nation. I began to understand the land of opportunity and freedom.

As much as I missed my home in Vietnam, I officially found my new home when I became a U.S. Citizen. For almost three decades, this is my home. I went to school, got married, and built my family here. I worked hard and paid my taxes. This is where I belong. Vietnam is still part of me and will always be, but America is my home. It is where my kids were born. They speak English, Vietnamese, and some Spanish too. Diversity makes America great.

Sadly, America is deeply divided when the most powerful man in the country used the kid’s language toward his political advantage. I never took him seriously. He’s a con, joker, and puppet. Unlike the kid who told me to “Go back to wherever you came from,” the puppet has a base of millions of followers behind him. Are his followers racist? I hope not, but they are supporting a racist and his racist comment. When the kid said it, adults stepped in to teach him how to behave. Where are the adults now to stand up to this bully? When one kid said that to me, I am glad that other kids didn’t chant, “send him back.” Again, the puppet does not bother me. He just brings the true racism out of America. It is disturbing and disheartening to witness in our own home.

I hadn’t read a book on design for quite some time; therefore, I was excited to read this book. Although written by a psychologist, the book is accessible and easy to read. Unfortunately, I didn’t get much out of it and I struggled to finish it. The information is either too trivial for me or I just don’t get it. I might have become too outdated for product design. These days I design based on my own instincts, sensibility, and experience rather than following research and study. It’s still a good book—just not for me. I might have lost interest in reading about design.

I want to change the design of my blog, my portfolio, and my résumé again. I am not quite satisfied with the current designs and yet I have not come up with anything new that I like.

The current designs aren’t bad and I am not trying to impress any potential employer. I just want to make a change for myself. It almost feels so damn narcissistic. On the positive side, redesigning my own sites allows me to stay update with my web design chops. I like to work on my own sites then taking on client’s projects.

Nevertheless, I am going to step away for awhile to clear my mind. Fortunately, our family reunion is coming up this weekend. I can’t wait to get away from my digital life and spend a whole week with my love ones. I give up trying to redesign my sites for now.

Truyện của Trần Trung Chính tuy ngắn nhưng tôi phải đọc chậm và tập trung mới thấu hiểu được những bài văn lạ và ảo. Chẳng hạn như bài “Mun và tôi,” tác giả viết về tình cảm giữa con bò cái và người đánh xe bò. Con bò cũng biết ghen tuông với con người. Qua truyện “Để mình yêu mình hơn” thì viết về con lợn đực với một em bé đang lớn. Sự hoà quyện giữa con người với con vật tạo ra những lời văn huyền ảo nhưng tỉnh táo. Trong “Tự nghiệm” tác giả viết về một người ăn sáng bằng quả trứng vịt lộn: “Người đó lợm giọng đến trưa vì ăn phải cái thai vịt có 3 chân, bà ta lưỡng lự chọn 2 trong số 3 cái chân để ăn, cái dư bị loại bỏ, kiểu như người ta loại bỏ một dị vật.” Đọc xong tôi chẳng dám ăn trứng vịt lộn nữa. Và đây là những lời “Tự hối” của một người vợ ngoại tình:

Hầu như em không ngủ, chồng em dày vò cái thân xác em vì nó đã có lỗi. Anh ấy muốn biết giờ đây nó tiếp nhận anh ấy thế nào sau lần tự nguyện trao nó cho người khác. Nó còn biết xấu hổ không, cái thân xác ấy, các cung bậc rên rỉ của nó. Tựa như sự khám phá, anh muốn phơi trần nó, tìm kiếm một chút “ý thức” ở trong nó. Sự sa đoạ hẳn đã tiềm tàng khiến nó đánh mất “ý thức” phẩm giá về nó. Em thề rằng em vẫn yêu thương thì chồng em lại càng không chịu nổi.

Tập truyện đầy cảm xúc và thú vị. Tôi sẽ tìm đọc thêm những tác phẩm khác của Trần Trung Chính hoặc sẽ đọc lại quyển này một ngày không xa.

Thêm một đồng nghiệp rời bỏ một công việc ổn định mình để dành thời gian cho con cái. Cô ta tâm sự rằng thay vì đi làm trả tiền nhà trẻ cho hai đứa con cũng hết sao không nghỉ ở nhà để được gần gũi con cái. Lúc chúng nó học mẫu giáo hoặc lớp một thì trở lại làm. Bây giờ là lúc chúng nó cần có cha mẹ nhiều nhất.

Tôi khâm phục những người mẹ như cô ấy dám bỏ cả sự nghiệp của mình để lo cho con cái. Lý luận của cô ta rằng sự nghiệp không quan trọng vì hết công việc này còn công việc khác sau này. Con cái thì chỉ có một lần tuổi ấu thơ. Từ lúc nó biết bò cho đến nó biết đi cho đến sinh nhật đầu tiên chỉ có một lần. Khi chúng nó lớn rồi thì không thể quay trở lại.

Đúng thế, vì mới đây mà thằng Vương đã 10 tháng. Nó thay đổi từng ngày một. Sáng đi làm chiều về đã thấy nó khác. Từ cách nó bò càng ngày càng rành rẽ đến những món ăn nó nhai tuy chỉ mới có hai cái răng. Từ nụ cười hồn nhiên đến những cái nhịp theo nhạc, tôi muốn những thú vị ấy sẽ tồn tại mãi. Nhưng tôi biết là không thể nào vì tôi đã ba lần kinh nghiệm. Những phút giây quý báu ấy sẽ trôi qua. Tôi thường trêu vợ rằng cố gắng chịu khó mà thưởng thức đi. Đây là cơ hội cuối cùng của em đấy.

Chúng tôi rất may mắn vì vẫn có thể cân bằng giữa sự nghiệp và gia đình. Hơn nữa được mẹ vợ giúp đỡ trông nom thằng út. Khi tôi nhắc đến mẹ, cô ta bảo lúc mới sinh cũng có mẹ chồng rồi mẹ cô ở tạm nhưng hai vợ chồng đã quá mệt mỏi phải “hosting guests.” Người Mỹ là thế họ coi cha mẹ cũng như là khách.

Thôi thì chúc cô may mắn và hạnh phúc với gia đình của mình. Ít ra sau này cô sẽ không hối hận hay áy náy vì công ăn việc làm mà đã bỏ bê con.