Má ơi, cố gắng vượt qua biến cố này nhé. Cố gắng bình phục để về đây chung vui mùa Giáng Sinh và đón mừng Tết Tây với con. Con mong đợi má tin vui của má từng giây. Những người thân và bạn bè ai cũng mong đợi má mau qua cơn ác mộng này.

Con xin lỗi má. Má đã gọi con về để lo cho má nhưng giờ đây con cũng không làm gì được cho má. Con biết má không muốn nằm bệnh viện nhưng với tình hình của má con không thể nào không gọi cấp cứu. Để má ở nhà đến ngày hôm nay sẽ nguy hiểm đến tính mạng. Con không còn lựa chọn nào khác.

Má tha thứ cho con nhé. Tuy không thể gặp được má nhưng con vẫn liên lạc với bác sĩ và y tá để theo giỏi tình hình của má. Con cũng ráng giữ gìn sức khoẻ để đợi má về. Lễ mùa đông năm nay má về với tụi con nhé. Con nhớ má lắm.

The phone rang in the middle of the night from the hospital. I was afraid to pick it up. A nurse informed me that my mom had moved to a closely monitor unit. She had trouble breathing. Without the Vapotherm, her oxygen level dropped to 70%. They cranked the device all the way up and her oxygen was at 95%. If she continues to get worse, they will put her on the mechanical ventilator. I am hoping and praying that won’t be the case, but the odds are against us.

The FDA authorizes bamlanivimab, by Eli Lilly, for patients with mild-to-moderate COVID-19. According to the FDA:

Monoclonal antibodies are laboratory-made proteins that mimic the immune system’s ability to fight off harmful antigens such as viruses. Bamlanivimab is a monoclonal antibody that is specifically directed against the spike protein of SARS-CoV-2, designed to block the virus’ attachment and entry into human cells.

The FDA also issued an emergency use authorization for REGN-COV2 (REGN10933 and REGN10987), by Regeneron. For more information on these treatments, listen to NPR “Short Wave.”

Mom’s lung is getting worse. An infectious disease doctor will exam her tomorrow to determine an antibiotic treatment. She started on Dexamethasone today for ten days. Her oxygen level is at 95%. I hope she can get some rest. She has been a fighter all her life. I hope she can fight her way through this battle as well.

My nephew started to have symptoms. He felt tired and had running nose. Poor kid. He didn’t deserve this. No one deserves this. My sister is also fighting for her life, but she is recovering.

I am having some minor headaches due to interrupted sleep and stress. I am not sure if I should get tested or should wait until I get symptoms. If I get tested now and it wouldn’t matter if my mom comes back again. I am not sure how long she will be out of the hospital. The doctor said she might be going to rehab after her COVID is under control.

Being a blogger for almost 20 years, I never shy away from writing about my personal experience. In fact, these personal writings make my blog what it is. I do, however, hesitate to share about others including my mom and my sister who are dealing with COVID. Fortunately, when I decided to share our situation, I have received nothing but love and support from family members, friends, and readers. Thank you for your kind, encouraging words to help me stay strong. Thank you to those in the medical field who have reached out to provide me with suggestions. All of your thoughts, prayers, and medical advice are appreciated.

My nephew is tested positive for COVID. He still doesn’t show any symptoms. I hope he will be OK. My sister is still in bad shape, but her oxygen level is good. She doesn’t need to check into the hospital.

I hadn’t been able to reach my mom. I talked to her nurse. Her fever shot up to 102. She is unable to move her mouth to take her medications. Now they have someone to help her eat. I am afraid she is having the Guillain-Barre syndrome.

Nothing much I can do at this time, but to wait out. Waiting for my mom to get better and waiting to see if I have been infected. At this point, things are out of my control.

I love to spend time with my mom, but not like this. I can take care of her, but COVID makes it much more challenging. Every time I entered her room, I put on two masks, a face shield, gloves, and a trash bag over my clothes. I asked her to put on her mask as well. Because she had been too weak to even move her body, everything takes longer than 15 minutes, which is how long medical experts said I could spend with her. Unfortunately, I could not follow that guideline.

Getting up and down was too difficult and too risky. When she got stuck in her chair and could not get up, I called 911. She is now in much better care by medical professionals. Because she has COVID, no visitors allowed. I talked to her over the phone and she is doing better. They are checking on her and giving her all the meds she needs. She even told me to check my sister in if her condition gets worse. My sister’s heartbeat increases every time she gets up to walk. She seems to be gasping for air. I recommended her checking in as well. I am keeping an eye on her if she gets worse, I am going to check her in.

I am now in quarantine. I am reading Barack Obama’s latest memoir and getting as much sleep as I can. I am also trying to get out of the house for a walk when no one is around. The skatepark near my sister’s house was completely empty. I did some rollerblading. I don’t think I will be able to use it on the weekend as others will be around.

I won’t be able to be with my wife and kids for a while—probably not this Christmas and New Year. My wife now has to work and look after four boys. I feel so guilty. Thankfully, my mother-in-law is helping us out.

I woke up to dead silence. I missed hearing the sound of my kids running around, arguing, and trying to figure out what to eat for breakfast. The only sound I heard was my mom’s breathing through a baby monitor. She seemed to sleep well last night after I changed her wet diaper.

She called me up and asked me to put a sweater on for her because she felt cold. I could barely get her to sit up. I spent way longer than 15 minutes with her. I prepared bánh mì thịt nướng with half Starbucks Frappuccino and half milk for her to drink. I closed her door and let her eat breakfast. I told her to yell if she needed me. I can hear her through the baby monitor.

She tried to reach for her phone and somehow managed to recline herself into her chair. She couldn’t get up to go to the bathroom. She sat there and was unable to move. I could not help her to stand up to her walker. She breathed heavily. I called 911.

My sister and then my mom tested positive for COVID. They live together with my sister’s son. So far my nephew has not shown any symptoms. He is still waiting to be tested. My sister is very sick and can barely take care of herself.

My mom got hit hard. In addition to COVID, she has trouble walking. In the past few days, she fell off her bed several times trying to get up. I have no choice, but to help take care of her. Although I am putting myself at risk, I can’t abandon her when she needs me the most.

I consulted with my internist and a doctor friend. I understand all the precautions. I have geared up with masks, face shields, hand sanitizers, and a whole nine yards. I am still not sure if I will dodge this bullet. More than that, I am not sure if my mom will get through. I am extremely concerned about her.

All this time, I have been able to avoid COVID. I always take the precautions seriously. I wear a mask everywhere I go. I have never been social; therefore, social distance works for me. I never thought I would come this close to it, but here we are.

Reven Leilani’s Luster is a bizarre yet breathtaking debut novel. Edie, a young Black struggling artist, had an affair with Eric, an older white man who had an open marriage. When Edie showed up at his house, his wife Rebecca not only didn’t get jealous, but she also took her in. The story revolves around racism, psychology, a bit of typography, and a whole lot of sadomasochistic sex. Leilani’s writing is also wild. Here’s her sentence:

Slowly, he eases me down onto his grand, slightly left-leaning cock, and for a moment I do rethink my atheism, for a moment I consider the possibility of God as a chaotic, amorphous evil who made autoimmune disease but gave us miraculous genitals to cope, and so I fuck him desperately with the force of this epiphany and Eric is talkative and filthy but there is some derangement about his face, this pink contortion that introduces the whites of his eyes in a way that makes me afraid he might say something we cannot recover from just yet, so I cover his mouth and say shut up, shut the fuck up, which is more aggressive than I would normally be at this point but it gets the job done and in general if you need a pick-me-up I welcome you to make a white man your bitch though I feel panicked all of a sudden to have not used a condom and I’m looking around the room and there is a bathroom attached, and in the bathroom are what look to be extra towels and that makes me so emotional that he and in one instant a concerned host rises out of his violent sexual mania, slowing the proceedings into the dangerous territory of eye contact and lips and tongue where mistakes get made and you forget that everything eventually dies, so it is not my fault that during this juncture I call him daddy and it is definitely not my fault that this gets him off so swiftly that he says he loves me and we are collapsing back in satiation and horror, not speaking until he gets me a car home and says take care of yourself like, please go, and as the car is pulling away he is standing there on the porch in a floral silk robe that is clearly his wife’s, looking like he has not so much had an orgasm as experienced an arduous exorcism, and a cat is sitting at his feet, utterly bemused by the white clapboard and verdant lawn, which makes me hate this cat as the city rises around me in a bouquet of dust, industrial soot, and overripe squash, insisting upon its own enormity like some big-dick postmodernist fiction and still beautiful despite its knowledge of itself, even as the last merciless days of July leave large swaths of the city wilted and blank.