A collection of personal stories that took readers into the Cambodian-American community. So was a gifted storyteller who didn’t shy away from sharing his sexuality. His stories were honest, heartfelt, and hilarious. Being a gay Cambodian American, So offered such a unique voice and perspective. My heart crushed to learn that he had died at the age of 28 due to an overdose.

I went back to the ice skating rink for the first time in two weeks. I went alone because none of my kids wanted to join me. The rink was super crowded. I couldn’t find a space to practice or to learn new moves; therefore, I just skated around the rink. As I observed parents skating with their kids, I envied them. I skated for about half an hour and left the rink.

Last night, I spoke to my sister’s ex-boyfriend. He phoned me once a year to catch up. We talked about children and he praised me for making the time to hang out with my kids. He regretted that he was too busy making money and didn’t pay attention to his kids. His daughter didn’t speak to him for three years. She told him and his wife that they never made time for her when she was younger. All they cared about was making money. He realized his mistake, but it was too late. His daughter is in college now and he is trying to spend time with her. I consoled him that it is never too late to make time for his kids.

After talking to him, I realized that we had the opposite problem. I wanted to provide my kids the opportunities to find something they would be passionate about. They picked up ice skating fast and leveled up their skills, but they had completely lost interest in it. They didn’t want to take lessons. They didn’t want to practice. They didn’t want to go skating just for fun. I made them go a couple of times. They went, but skated for ten minutes and just sat out.

We tried rollerblading. They liked going to skateparks at first, but then showed no sign of interest. Asking them to go to skateparks with me was like forcing them to do their assignments. I stopped asking and went myself.

They tried learning ice hockey. They seemed to like it, but then their heart was not in it. I didn’t see any reason to continue if we kept wasting our money. Ice hockey is not an affordable sport.

They are into skiing and snowboarding now, but I am sure they will start to lose interest in them soon. I can recognize the pattern by now.

The only thing that they have been consistently excited about is video games. They would sit and play all day if I let them. They would lose their minds if I ban them. All of the efforts I had been making to draw their attention away from their screens had been useless.

It hurt and irritated me to see them glue to their screens. Maybe I should just stop trying and let them do what they want. In retrospect, my mother did not watch over my every move. She let me decide what to do with my life. Then again, I wished my parents exposed me to these sports when I was a kid. Because I didn’t play any sport, I lacked athletic confidence. I was afraid to try out anything until my wife pushed me to do them with our kids. Now I am more into these sports than my kids.

In the opening of his latest Netflix special, Jimmy Carr warned that his jokes may contain terrible things. For example, joking about rape is not the same as doing the rape. His material followed the one-liner format. He roasted his audience members and even encouraged them to hackle him. His responses were quick and on point. From conspiracy on COVID to vaccine, he was harsh but hilarious. I appreciate a comedian who is an excellent writer.

Last night, my wife pointed out that I am obsessed with skiing. I looked up the weather forecast to see if it would be cold enough for the resorts to make snow. I searched for ski levels to plan out my lessons. I watched quite a bit of YouTube skiing tutorials.

My wife is correct. I have the tendency to be obsessive. When I get into something, I go all in or as much as I possibly can. From ice skating to rollerblading to skiing, I find these sports fascinating. These sports changed my perspective on physical activities. For the most part of my life, I never thought I could be athletic. I was just a lazy bum. In grade school, I tried to play football and basketball with American kids, but I sucked at them both. I didn’t even understand the rules. Asian kids I hung out with were good at volleyball, but I was just average.

I was decent at soccer, but I never excelled at it. I made it to the JV team in high school as a right forward striker, but I was too lazy to run or to hustle. I avoided getting into contact with my opponents. I waited for my teammates to pass the ball to me. As a result, I didn’t get to play much. In retrospect, why the hell was I even on the team? I didn’t contribute anything.

For a long time, I didn’t do any sports. To keep myself healthy, I started jogging and that didn’t last too long. Waking up early in the morning to go for a run is more miserable, especially in the winter, than enjoyable.

When I introduced my kids to ice skating, I picked it up myself. My goal was to skate around the rink, but when I saw other skaters doing some impressive moves on the ice, I wanted to learn more. I didn’t even know lessons were offered until a mom of Xuân’s friend pointed out to me. I enrolled Đạo, Đán, and myself. Taking lessons opened up a whole new world for me. In ice skating, levels have been established to guide you through your progression. I started out from all the basics and then moved into jumps, spins, and step sequences. The Fairfax Ice Arena used the Ice Sport Industry (ISI) program in its curriculum so I just followed it. I wrapped up my Freestyle 2 group lessons last December. I am at the point where I can learn on my own with Coach Julia’s YouTube videos. I wanted to focus on jumps and step sequences instead of spins.

During the pandemic lockdown, we needed some form of outdoor activities. We biked, but I got bored quickly. Biking up the hills was not that much fun. I resisted rollerblading because it seemed like a dangerous sport. Falling on concrete appeared to be painful. Then my wife bought us rollerblades, helmets, and protective gears for our knees, elbows, and wrists. We rollerbladed around basketball courts and bike trails, but the skate parks changed our game. I can’t remember how I discovered skate parks, but I was so glad when I learned such places existed for free. They were intimidated at first, especially those deep bowls, but they were fun as we made the progressions. I learned and built up my skills from watching YouTube videos. So far, rollerblading is the most dangerous out of the three sports. I hurt myself a few times; therefore, I took extra precautions.

With skiing, my wife brought us Epic passes for the entire season. With a week-long trip in New Hampshire and two days in Pennsylvania, the passes paid for themselves. From now on, our ski trips are free. With unlimited access, I wanted to develop more skiing skills than just plowing down the hills for fun. I planned on taking group lessons, but so far the resorts were short of staff. As a result, I learned through YouTube videos. I wanted to make some skiing progress to allow me to enjoy the blue, maybe even black, terrains.

I am loving ice skating, rollerblading, and skiing because they are similar in a way that each sport gives me the opportunity to develop my skills at my own pace. I don’t have to compete against anyone else. I don’t have to prove to anyone that I am better—something I also wanted to teach my kids. These are the sports we learn together to improve ourselves instead of to compete against each other.

I have been obsessed with practicing because I don’t want to lose all the skills I have gained. If I don’t rollerblade regularly, stepping up on the coping to drop in could be quite intimidating. I wanted to incorporate these sports into my life so I can stay healthy and become more adventurous.

Bác Nguyệt, một trong những người chị của mẹ vợ tôi, đã ra đi vào ngày 26, tháng 12, năm 2021. Tôi không biết nhiều về bác nhưng rất quý bác mỗi lần gặp mặt trong tuần gia đình họp mặt hằng năm. (Vì đại dịch nên hai năm nay không còn tập họp như trước).

Bác Nguyệt luôn thương yêu anh chị em và đặc biệt rất gắn bó với mẹ vợ của tôi. Bác lo lắng cho chồng chu đáo từng món ăn. Bác nuôi nâng bốn người con trưởng thành và ổn định với gia đình riêng của họ. Bác cũng chăm sóc đàn cháu của bác khôn lớn.

Lúc bố vợ tôi qua đời, các bác đến Virginia để dự đám tang. Khi bác bay về lại Texas, tôi đưa bác ra phi trường. Trên xe tôi được trò chuyện riêng với bác. Bác luôn vui vẻ và có cái nhìn đời rất nhẹ nhàng.

Cầu nguyện cho linh hồn của bác được an nghỉ trong bình yên.

We went to Whitetail Mountain yesterday for the first time in two years. The temperature was in the 50s and rainy. The only two trails that opened were barely covered in snow. Nevertheless, we made the best out of them.

I signed up for a group snowboarding lesson for Đán, but he had one-on-one coaching because there were more instructors than students. Since it was such a great deal, I handed the instructor some extra cash.

Đạo hung out with his cousin. Xuân and I stayed together. Since the slopes weren’t so great, I decided to focus on my short turns. I followed the step-by-step exercise from this video. I made some progress and couldn’t wait to try it on a blue terrain next time.

Before my wife bought Epic passes for Đạo, Đán, Xuân, and me, I told her that I would put our money to good use. So far the investment is already worthwhile.

This year I only read 45 books, which was 12 books less than last year. In the last two months, my priorities have changed. I focused on editing our family stories, which took away my time from reading for almost four weeks. I used to spend my vacation time reading, but on the last trip to Conway, New Hampshire, I was too exhausted after a long day of skiing. Even in the evening relaxing, I blogged about my ski experience instead of reading.

In addition, I blogged much more this year. I churned out at least one blog post almost on a daily basis. I enjoyed writing, even just documenting my progressions in ice skating, rollerblading, and skiing. These blog posts might not be interesting to anyone, but I am now fully engaged in these three sports. I hope my kids will continue my journey with me.

As for my reading preference, I read more novels this year. Though I still tried to switch from fiction to nonfiction. I need to pick up more Vietnamese language books. The Fairfax public libraries had not acquired new Vietnamese books this year.

My goal for next year is to get above 50 books again. I am now reading three books at the same time and having a hard time finishing them. I should just focus on getting through one at a time.

Here’s my reading history.

Last Sunday I drove over 14 hours from Conway, New Hampshire back to Fairfax, Virginia. On Monday, I took a much-needed break from an entire week of skiing and tidied up the house a bit. Tuesday, December 28, marked the first anniversary of my mother’s passing. After writing a post about her in Vietnamese, I decided to take my kids to the closest ski resort. I wanted the day to be a celebration. We packed up our equipment and headed to Roundtop, which was only two hours away from our home. My sister-in-law’s family also joined us.

When we arrived, around 10:30 in the morning, the resort was a bit crowded. We put on our gears and headed to the slope. Đạo and Đán went on their own with their cousin, Khôi. I took Xuân with me on the green slopes. I continued to work on my parallels, hockey stops, and short turns. I wanted Xuân to do the same, but he was still plowing.

Đán, Xuân, and I went over to the freestyle slope to do some jumping and grinding. We started out at the easiest ramp. In the meantime, Đạo and Khôi went to the blue and black slopes. I was surprised that they could do the blue and black slope. When Xuân heard that they could do blue and black, he wanted to try out the blue slope. I took him up to the blue slope with me. The initial hill was a bit too deep for him. I took off his skis and we both slid down on our butts to the bottom of the hill. I told him to wait for me while I walked up the hill again to get my skis. I skied down the hill using my parallels and hockey stops. I made it to the bottom where Xuân was waiting for me. Then we both zigzagged all the way to the lift.

Then I asked Đạo to go on the black slope with me. The first hill on the black slope was a bit steeper and rougher than the blue. Đạo plowed his way down. I followed him with parallels and hockey stops. When the speed picked up, I panicked and lost control. One of the skis popped off. The second time, I also made it all the way down the first hill, but I fell again. The third time, I decided to just embrace the speed instead of fighting against it. I paralleled all the way down and only braked when I was at the bottom. It was quite a thrill.

Đán and Xuân were exhausted around 5 pm and it started to rain. We packed up and headed home. The boys took a two-hours nap while I was blasting JAY-Z and Kanye’s Watch the Throne. We made it home around 8 pm just in time for dinner. I could barely stay awake to eat.

I thought of my mom during the entire trip. Two years ago, I called her up when I was driving home after our ski trips. She always told me to be careful and to take care of myself. She reminded me that I have four kids to raise and I shouldn’t be playing this “dangerous sport.” I told her I understood and reassured her that I took every precaution. Her words rang to my ears as I was driving home in the icy rain. She was watching us from above and keeping us safe. I love you, mẹ!

Thưa mẹ,

Thế là một năm đã thấm thoát trôi qua kể từ ngày mẹ rời xa con. Trong trí óc, trái tim, và cả thâm tâm con vẫn luôn có hình bóng của mẹ. Từng giờ, từng phút, từng giây, con phải cố gắng lắm mới nén lại được nỗi nghẹn ngào xót xa mỗi khi nhớ đến mẹ. Trong một năm qua mẹ chỉ hiện về hai lần trong giấc mơ của con. Được gặp lại mẹ và được trò chuyện với mẹ, con rất vui dù chỉ trong giấc mộng. Khi con tỉnh dậy, mẹ lại xa con.

Mẹ đi rồi, con cũng chẳng còn lưu luyến trần gian này nữa. Một ngày nào đó con cũng sẽ xa lìa cõi tạm này để về với mẹ. Nhưng giờ đây con phải tiếp tục ở lại đây để nuôi dưỡng đàn con thơ như mẹ đã từng nuôi nấng mấy chị em chúng con. Mẹ đã hy sinh cả đời mẹ cho chúng con và luôn cả mạng sống của mình vì chúng con. Công lao to lớn của mẹ làm sao chúng con có thể quên được.

Cái cảm giác thiếu đi mẹ trên cõi đời này, con không thể nào dùng chữ để diễn tả được. Nhưng con cảm nhận được sự hiện diện của mẹ trong đời sống của chúng con. Mẹ luôn hướng về chúng con. Mỗi khi con vội vã trong công việc hay trong cuộc sống, mẹ luôn nhắc nhở con chậm lại. Mỗi khi con bị rơi vào cạm bẫy của tuyệt vọng, mẹ ban cho con động lực để thoát khỏi. Mỗi khi con cảm thấy cuộc đời này vô nghĩa, mẹ cho con thấy được ý nghĩa khi làm cha mẹ. Con phải luôn phấn đấu để làm tròn bổn phận của một người cha. Đám nhỏ là nghị lực để con tiếp tục sống trên cõi đời này.

Dù mẹ đã ra đi khỏi cuộc đời này, mẹ vẫn luôn sống mãi trong chúng con. Dù một năm, mười năm, hoặc mấy mươi năm, mẹ vẫn tồn tại mãi trong tim chúng con.

Today is our last day in Conway, New Hampshire. A week of skiing has just flown by. Between Attitash and Wildcat Skiing Resorts, my body is sore, but in a good way. I really enjoyed skiing. Similar to ice skating and rollerblading, skiing needs practice to improve. Even though I couldn’t make it on the blue terrain, I had reached my goal for the week. I am getting a hang of parallel skiing and hockey stops. I am working toward short turns.

Đán has done really well with snowboarding even though he only had two hours of semi-private lessons. I wanted to sign up for more lessons for him, but both resorts didn’t have enough coaches. He figured his way around the board on the green terrain.

Đạo stuck to skiing and he enjoyed accompanying his brother on the green terrain. I wanted him to learn the parallel with me, but he still preferred plowing down. As long as he was having fun, I didn’t mind.

Xuân only started skiing this week. He had two hours of private lessons. When his cousin, Hân, took his private lessons, Xuân followed along and the instructor taught them both. The next day, they took a group lesson together. They enjoyed each other’s company.

Vương didn’t want to ski all week until I took him on the magic carpet today. Then he wanted to ski. He had such a good posture and he didn’t fall at all. I am glad that he is warming up to this sport.

We’re going to get the most out of our Epic passes. I can’t wait to hit more ski mountains in the next few winter months.