I read Dr. Seuss’s ABC to Cu Dao today and I couldn’t keep a straight face on some of his nonsensical verses including “Camel on the ceiling,” “Lazy lion licks a lollipop” and the very very very best ” Vera Violet Vinn is very very very awful on her violin.”

I have not read a single book by Dr. Seuss. In fact, the only time I heard of Dr. Seuss was at Vassar’s 2004 commencement Address by Samuel L. Jackson. At the end of his speech, Jackson read a passage from Oh, the Places You’ll Go! and I thought it was witty and appropriate. A couple of weeks ago, I told Dana that we should get a few Dr. Seuss books for Cu Dao.

I was working from home last Friday and the mailman delivered a big box. I opened the door and he dropped the box right on my lap and I almost staggered because I didn’t expect a heavy box. I opened it up and there were 50 books by Dr. Suess. I called up Dana and she told me she bid them on eBay. I guess we will be reading a lot of Dr. Seuss books to Cu Dao. Can’t wait!

Katie is three months older than Duke. Her dad and I are drinking buddies and we have joked that we will be in-law in the future. I love Kate because she is totally opposite from Cu Dao. Unlike Duke who is like a monkey on coke, Katie is quite calm. Most of the time she would just sit at one spot and play with her toys. When I hold her in my lap she would stay still.

Unfortunately Kate and her family will be moving to the west coast. Last weekend, my sister-in-law threw a farewell party for them. We put Duke and Kate together. Kate sat still, but Duke kept trying to grab her sweater. I had to pull him away several times. Kate just looked at him and unexpectedly returned with a poke in his face. It was so hilarious.

Grandparents went on a cruise yesterday. Cu Dao got a fever and running nose. Dana and I worked from home to babysit him until we pick up my mom this weekend.

We were doing our work at the dining table and suddenly heard a big drop right above us then followed by a scream. I dashed upstairs and the little guy was underneath his crib. I pulled him out and held him my arms. Dana came up with tears in her eyes. Luckily we have carpet so he wasn’t hurt so bad. I did a little peekaboo and tears turned into laughter.

What happen was Dana didn’t pull the rails all the way up. Usually we don’t have to because the rail would still be too high for him even it’s halfway down. Somehow he managed to get himself over the rail. We have lowered his mattress and will remember to pull the rail up because the little guy can’t seem to stay still. He wears both of us out every night trying to put him to sleep. The good thing about the accident is that his temperature has also dropped. He’s now doing a bit better. No pain no gain.

“Beautiful love, you are a mystery / beautiful love, what have you done to me?” These two bars, sung beautifully by Sophie Milman, captured my feelings for you. You are a mystery because I never know what you are going to do next. I don’t know what have you done to me, but you’ve been on my mind 24/7 since the day you were born.

Each night you give me something new to look forward to. Last night, you were jumping and laughing with joy on the Sassy seat for the first time. The night before, you were grooving to Shakira’s She Wolf like a little snake. The other night, you made me kissed your cheek a hundred times in order for you to go to sleep. I really don’t mind using that technique again and again.

You melted me when you woke up in the middle of the night, rolled over, pulled your head up, looked at me, cracked a smile, dropped your head and went back to sleep. Both your mom and I loved to watch you sleep. You looked so adorable and we can’t help caressing your back and kissing you on your head. You have brought us way too much joy. Thank you for being such a beautiful love.

Watching Cu Dao sleeping last night made me think of my father and our relationship. Once in a while the little guy would open his eyes halfway, stare at me to make sure I was still there, crack a half smile and then close his eyes again. Just the joy of seeing that is indescribable. I thought to myself: there is nothing in this world that could keep me away from him. Then I thought of my father who was hardly around me when I was a kid.

There’s a saying that you give your children what you never had. If that’s the case, the first thing I will give Cu Dao is a fatherhood. Even when I lived in Viet Nam, I never felt what it was like having a father. He would go to work (mostly charity) for a few weeks or months and only stay home for a day or two.

When I left Viet Nam, our relationship was disconnected as well. Growing without a father was hard. I didn’t know who to turn to when I was bullied at school. No man around the house to teach me how to become a man. Mentally I was weak. I lacked the confidence in myself; therefore, I could never make a decision on my own. Sometimes I wish I could be strong like him. I wish I could do whatever I please and fuck everyone else. I envy him and despise him for that. He made his decision to go back to Viet Nam to live his life even though his wife and kid needed him here the most.

I am now walking in his shoes and I could never see myself doing the same thing that he did. I will be there for my son. I want him to have the confidence I never had. I want him to not only make his own decisions, but live and be responsible for them. I would like him to take risks and to follow his heart. I will be satisfied as a father if I could accomplish these goals.

One time at a friend’s kid birthday party, the guys decided to sing some karaoke. One dude sang one of Dam Vinh Hung’s hits “Goc Pho Reu Xanh,” on top of his lung. I didn’t want to get up and walk out so I sat there being tortured. A little four-or-five-year-old girl walked by with her hands covering her ears made us all laugh even the singing dude, yet he still didn’t get the point.

I don’t sing in public because somehow my voice doesn’t sound the same through the microphone. Nowadays the only person I would sing to is Cu Dao. It’s my last trick, if everything else fail, to keep him from crying. I don’t pull it out too often because he seems to get bored with old tricks fast. As soon as I would begin to sing, he would start to smile. When I hit Bang Kieu’s girly register he would chuckle. I had to sung my heart out in order to capture those gorgeous smiling photos of his. I had to trench my soul during our road trips to prevent him from screaming.

Being with Cu Dao really sets me free. I can do any silly things I want to. He leaves all my worries behind and all my stress away. The time we spend together, the world is our. One day he will be too embarrass to introduce me to his girls and friends, but for now I am enjoying every second of it. Cu Dao rocks my world.

Friday evening Dana and Duke picked me up at the Metro. We drove to Lotto for some Korean food and picked up two big-ass jackfruits (36 pounds each) before heading to Lancaster to visit my mom for the weekend. About ten minutes on the highway, we had to bust an exit because Cu Dao was crying and his mom couldn’t stopped him. We changed him, drove on for about fifteen minutes and he started to scream again. We stopped at McDonald’s for the dollar-menu sundae. Dana took over the wheel and I tried to entertain Duke in the backseat. I made him laughed out loud until he was exhausted. I gave him the bottle. He knocked it out and slept the whole way through. Am I good or what?

Duke got up when we arrived around 10:30 pm. He wanted to play to with grandma and didn’t go back into bed until midnight. The next day, Duke, Dana, my boy Nate and I went to the outlet to do some shopping before heading to Eric’s birthday. Duke has so many cousins now and two are just a year or two older than him. My cousin who has three 3 kids advised me not to hold Duke too much or else he would get used to it.

The thing is I am not trying to spoil him. I am more like making up to him. On weekdays I don’t get to spend time with Duke too much. I get home from work around 6:30 pm, take a shower and get to play with him for half an hour before supper. After doing the dishes, it would be around 8:30. Dana and I would give him a bath and then send him off to his crib. The next morning, I get to play with him for another half an hour before leaving to work. Therefore, I really want to spend time and hold him whenever I get a chance and usually the weekends are the best time to do so. I am just hope that he won’t be too spoiled.

Our our back to Virginia, Dana drove and I played with him until he fell asleep and he did the whole way through. Watching him sleep makes me realized that what people saying are true. Cu Dao looks so much like his dad, but much cuter and much more handsome than his dad. My cousin even said that he looks “ngầu hơn” his dad because of his striking eyebrows when he does his serious look. All I can say is that Cu Dao is so far my best achievement in life.

The other night I heard a high-pitched voice while sleeping. I mumbled to Dana, “why are you playing Bang Kieu’s songs in the wee hours?” About a minute later, the voice jumped an octave above Bang Kieu’s highest falsetto. I woke right the hell up and there was Cu Dao soaring out in a voice that I have never heard him cried before. I thought he was doing that “neu ngay nao tinh ta daaaaaaaaaaa phai” in Bang Kieu’s rendition of “Phut Cuoi,” although I don’t recall letting him listening to any of Bang Kieu’s recordings. I am still not sure where it was coming from, but I am so glad that he hasn’t pull that shtick again.

Duke turns five months today. It’s unbelievable how fast time has zipped by. Bringing him home from the hospital seems like yesterday and the video of him crying as soon as he breathed air still plays clearly in my mind. Watching him laughing, turning, crawling and growing everyday is a bundle of joy. Every time I hold him in my arms, look at him, smile at him and get a smile back, I feel very fortunate to have him in my life. It’s truly a blessing. I love you, my Cu Dao!