Mỗi lần nhìn thấy mặt con nổi đỏ trầy trụa ba đau xót vô cùng. Thảm thương hơn là thấy con vẫn cười. Có ngứa và đau lắm không con? Đêm đến thấy con đưa tay lên gãi ba cố nắm lấy tay con để con khỏi phải gãi chóc da nhưng con không thích lắm.

Dạo này con cũng hay thức giấc rồi khóc to. Những lúc ba chỉ vuốt nhẹ lên lưng con để con ngủ trở lại. Có lúc ba để con khóc một hồi rồi ngủ trở lại. Đêm qua con không mãi không thôi. Ba la một tiếng “nín” thì con lại nín. Một lúc sao con lại khóc tiếp ba lại la thêm tiếng nữa thì con cũng nín. Bây giờ mỗi khi ru con ba cũng để tự con ngũ. Con nhào qua lộn lại cho đến khi lắng xuống rồi thiếp đi. Ba chỉ đỡ khi nào con xắp đập đầu vào tường.

Bây giờ con chập chuẩn đi. Trông tướng con rất dể thương. Giờ đây con cũng đã bớt bỏ đồ vào miệng. Con đã biết tự chơi một mình. Con biết cách đẩy xe chạy tự nhặt lên những gì con thích. Thấy con phát chuyển tốt và khoẻ ba vui mừng lắm. Mỗi ngày ba tự cười thằm và vui vẻ về hai thằng con trai của ba.

Cái cảm giác làm cha thật khó tả. Mỗi một suy nghỉ của ba điều liên quan đến hai con. Có những lúc ba thật mệt mỏi và muốn được yên tỉnh một mình. Nhưng rồi những thứ ba làm ba điều đắng đo rằng nếu ba làm những việc ấy mà phải không có thời gian với hai con, ba có nên làm không? Dỉ nhiên là không. Tiền thì chẳng bao giờ kiếm cho đủ còn tụi con thì mỗi ngày mổi lớn. Thời gian không bao giờ dừng lại. Mới ngày nào Đạo còn nhỏ xíu mà bây giờ đã có cá tính riêng. Mới ngày nào ôm Đán trọn trong tay mà bây giờ đeo con một chút là bị đao lưng đao cổ.

Anyways, I love you guys.

Whenever Dao plays with his model trains, he has to have five cars as a set. I didn’t really get it until the other day when he asked me to set up my train to play with him. I just put together a bunch of trains, but he said, “No daddy, you have to the main engine first [Thomas, Percy, James etc.], then tender second, then freight car, then two cabooses.” My son is now officially a connoisseur of train. Here is their early Christmas present.

We were at a model train show and Dao spotted a small table with small trains. He told me, “Daddy, that’s a very small, tiny, little engine.” Even the man behind the booth was surprised how small Dao had described his trains.

While stuck at the red light I said, “Come on, I want to go home.” Dao followed up, “Please green light, we want to go home.”

At another stop light he spotted a man crossing the street and asked me, “Daddy, why is he walking home?” I reply, “He’s walking because he doesn’t have a car.” He went on, “Why doesn’t he have a car?” I said, “Because he doesn’t have money to buy a car.” I wanted to give him the value of money so I went on, “Like when you want to buy a toy, you have to have money. Do you know where the money come from?” He responded, “From the piggy bank.” I was like, “No, no. You have to work to earn money.”

As for out lil Dan, he has been mumbling quite a bit lately. He baby-talks all the time and has started to repeat what we say. Like when we say his name, he would say it back but not quite correct yet. He also knows the word “đèn” (light). Every time I say the word “đèn,” he would repeat it and look up to the lights. We’re predicting that he’ll probably talk more than his older brother since he already started early.

Height: 29.74 (50%)
Weight: 22lbs 7oz. (75%)
HC: 18.5″ (75%)

His height at 50% is understandable. Both of his parents are pretty short. His head is now as big as Dao’s and his weight will surpass his brother pretty soon if he’s keep eating the way he does. I can feed him all day long if I wanted to. He understands when we ask him to clap his hands and weave goodbye. He’s babbling quite a bit already. He seems to be a happy kid. He laughs pretty loud, but he screams even louder. He hasn’t shown anything that he liked except for food.

You’re turning one today my dear and you have lived through the one of toughest years of our lives yet. While life is rough, I am thankful to have you in my arms every night. Your presence keeps me going. Watching you sleep is the most peaceful moment of my day. Seeing you standing on your own feet has to be one of the greatest joys of my life.

It won’t be too long before you start to walk. You have started talking quite a bit already. You can tell the different between strangers and the ones you see everyday; however, you play with anyone who interacts to you. You still have a great appetite. Like me, you don’t turn down food. Feeding you is such a rewarding experience. I don’t have to force you. You just eat until you’re full. You have turned down baby food. At times we restrict you from a certain food to avoid allergies. Once we have a better idea of your tolerance, I promise you that you can have anything that we eat.

One thing I would love to see you change is to stop exploring everything with your mouth and tongue. Once you get over that, I’ll be more relaxed and let you roam free. For now we have to keep an eye on you at all time.

Happy birthday, love.

The night the undertakers took grandpa to the funeral home, Dao was still up. He ran into my lap and asked, “Where are they taking grandpa?” It then struck me how should I tell a three year-old that his grandpa is gone forever. I replied to him, “Grandpa is going to a better place.” He pressed on, “Why?” I didn’t know what to say to him so I told him the truth, “Because he was sick and…” He interrupted, “The doctors take him away to make him feel better.” I replied, “Well, yes” and he said goodbye to grandpa.

The next day at dinner table, Dao asked his mom, “Mommy, grandpa is missing. He’s sick and the doctors took him away to make him feel better.” His innocent words put tears to all of us, especial his mom and grandma.

Dao had played a special role in grandpa’s heart. Dao was his first grandkid. Grandpa used to pick Dao up from daycare and he recognized how articulate this kid was by just talking to him. Of all the grands, Dao would be the only one that has the most memory of grandpa. We will certainly keep grandpa’s legacy alive.

My little guy will be one at the end of the month. Damn, a year already? I spent a whole day with him yesterday and realize how much he has developed in such a short time. In additional to food, I learned something else that he liked. As we were stuck in morning traffic, I listened to some political talk on the radio and he screamed. I switched to classical music and he stopped crying and fell asleep. When he woke up I tried again switching from political talk to classical and he listened without a sound. This is definitely a good sign, not like Dao at all. Dao is so funny. Anything that he doesn’t like such as 80s rock and classical music, he would say, “that music is old.”

Before having a second kid, my biggest concern was that I would prefer one over the other without realizing so and that I wouldn’t pay much attention to Dao because of the second baby. Fortunately both are boys and so they could relate to each other. Now it is actually more fun with the boys. Once Dan is a bit older I could just sit back and watch them play. Obviously every once in a while I will have to be the judge or referee.

Yesterday while Dan was sleeping in the car, I browsed a bit on my iPhone and watched a clip of judge William Adams beat his daughter for using the Internet. (Don’t watch this, kids.) Not only he whipped her with a belt, but he also used the “F” word repeatedly. Man, the clip is too brutal.

Three Words to describe student:

• Loving
• Talkative
• Imaginative
• Fearless

Likes to play with

• Cars
• Trains
• Nathaniel and Aidan
• Legos or blocks

Child’s strength are:

• Retains information
• Very verbal
• Imaginative
• Fine motor skills

Areas that we are working on:

• Using words when disagreeing with a peer
• Self-soothing methods
• Interest in art

The feedback overall was positive. We still need to work on his anger management. He made tremendous improvement when he started this new class. We’re on the right direction in guiding him to calm down.

Dao: Daddy, can you tell me a story?
Dad: Once upon a time, there’s a boy named Dao and he loves train. He plays with nothing else but train all day. At school, his teachers have to put all the trains away so that he could do other activities. They gave him a book to read and he imagined the book as his train. He drove the book around like it was a train. His teacher told him, “A book is for reading, not for playing.” He threw a tandrum at his teacher. Why did he do that?
Dao: Because he’s not nice.
Dad: Exactly.
Dao: Can you tell me another story?
Dad: Once upon a time, there’s a boy named Dao and he loves candy. On Halloween night, he dressed up as a dragon and he tried to fly.
Dao: But that’s impossible.
Dad: That’s right. So he hopped into his train with his little brother Dan and they went around the mall treat-or-treating. They came up to the people and what did they say?
Dao: Happy Halloween!
Dad: That’s right. Then they gave them lots of candy. They even met an alien.
Dao: No, a pirate.
Dad: Oh yeah, a pirate and they stopped by the water fountain that has lots of…
Dao: Clouds.
Dad: Yes, and they had lots of fun and candy. The end!
Dao: Daddy, can you tell me the candy story again?
They repeated the story for five times before the daddy passed out. Not sure when Dao went to sleep.

I am so glad Sandy is gone even though she was not so cruel to us. On the good side, I got two extra days to catch up with my school projects and spent time with my lovely boys and girl.

Looking after Dan is quite exhausting. His licking issue seems to get worse. Can’t leave him alone for 15 seconds without him licking something. He licks the carpet, the drawer’s knobs, the wheels, the chairs and anything else that he’s curious about. Even a toy book with buttons, he would press it repeatedly and like the sound that response to his action. Still he has to lick it to explore it. The licking is really driving me insane.

Dao never had that problem when he was around one. If he saw something he liked, he would touch it and look at it very carefully, but never put it in his mouth. Then again Dao doesn’t like anything in his mouth including food. Each kid has his own uniqueness I guess.

Dao is now could play all by himself, but he also wants us to play with him, which is nice. He’s still obsessed with trains and cars. His mom spoils him so much that everyday he asks for something special. You know your kid is spoiled when he expects a box infront of his doorstep everyday. His mom orders everything online. He’s actually surprised when he doesn’t see a box infront of the house.

So he asked me for something special and I said to him, “You want something special everyday. DO you think I just pull them out of my butt?” His response was, “That’s not a good idea.” My jaw dropped. I had never heard him said that before.