I picked up this book at a poetry-reading event to support the author, who is Việt Nam veteran. I also wanted to read Karlin’s perspective on the war since he fought there. I thought the stories were nonfiction, but they were fiction. I couldn’t fully wrap my head around the stories. I didn’t know what I was reading. Some stories have diacritics for Vietnamese words, which takes the guess work out of me, but some don’t. I might come back to this collection down the line.

Earlier today, I flushed our water heater. It was the second time I did the flushing based on the instructions I wrote for myself last year. Everything went well, except when I opened the valve at the bottom of the tank to drain the water. All I had to do was turning the big plastic knob to the left to open up the line, but I couldn’t remember. I tried to force it. Luckily I didn’t break it yet. It would have been a nightmare if that valve broke. I wanted to keep a note here so I can remember next year.

Damn! I miss skiing and snowboarding. I can’t wait to get back to the mountains. In the mean time, I am back rollerblading with Xuân scootering. Although I am not making any progress, I am enjoying my time at the skatepark.

I have been yearning to get back to ice skating. None of my kids is interested in taking lessons. I want to get back to the basics, but group lessons will take forever. I can’t afford private lessons.

I mapped out my lesson plan. I can work on relearning the techniques. I just need to get my ass back to the rink.

Nguyễn Phan Quế Mai returns to America on a book tour for her debut poetry collection in English titled The Color of Peace. Last Thursday, April 25, the day after my 47^th birthday, I invited my son to join me to hear her read some of her poems and conversation with Vietnam veteran Wayne Karlin. As I am writing this, today, April 30, 2025, also marks the 50^th anniversary of the end of the American War in Việt Nam. During the event, Quế Mai read “The Fish” and “Thorns of Roses” from her collection. I enjoyed her Vietnamese reading even more, especially when she incorporated ca dao singing into her poetry. In The Color of Peace Quế Mai the pain and the sorrow of a Vietnamese woman who were born during the time of war and who witnessed the casualties of war at a young age. Quế Mai uses literature to speak out for peace. Listening to her talking the war and her passionate of peace made me give her a title: “The poet of peace.” This collection is moving, powerful, and deeply personal. “My Mother” is one of her personal poems. She wrote:

When I told my mother
I would go to America
to read my poetry, she
knocked her pair of chopsticks
against the boiling pot
and called out “America?”

Forty-one years before that
when she was carrying me
inside her stomach
from the sky, blackness
came and
exploded into American bombs.

My mother jumped into a shelter so small
she had to arch her back
so her baby wouldn’t be squashed
against the crumbling earth.

And now, the baby—her daughter—the poet from Việt Nam
had been invited to come
to America—the land of her former
enemy to share her stories.

My mother cupped her palms
into a lotus in front of her chest
and told me she wished
she could replace guns, and tanks,
bombs, and bullets,
violence, and hatred,
with poetry.

George Mason University received $36 million from the Kimmy Dương Foundation to name the Long Nguyễn and Kimmy Dương School of Computing within the College of Engineering and Computing. Mason:

Duong was born in Nha Trang, Vietnam, in 1945 and earned a bachelor of science in economics and law from the University of Saigon in 1966. She joined IBM in 1968, where she worked until she left the country in 1975, when she fled Vietnam and arrive in the United States with only $30.

For $36 millions, the least they can do is putting some diacritical marks on their names.

I finally understand the true meaning of suffering after reading Thích Nhất Hạnh’s How to Smile. All these years, I thought I was stressing out thin, worrying too much, and depressing, but I was suffering. Using bitter melon (khổ qua) as a metaphor, Thích Nhất Hạnh explained:

There’s a vegetable in Vietnam called bitter melon. The Chinese word for bitter also means suffering. If you’re not used to eating bitter melon, you may suffer.…

Suffering is bitter, and our natural tendency is to run away from it. Our store consciousness, our unconscious mind, can set up a program of behaviors to help us run away from suffering and approach only what’s pleasant. This prevents us from knowing the goodness of suffering, the healing it can bring.

As I read this passage, his message makes perfect sense. Suffering is inevitable. No matter how good your life is or how much money you have, you will experience suffering. You have to face it. Thích Nhất Hạnh reminded us:

When you don’t know how to handle the suffering inside you or how to help handle the suffering around you, you may try not to be there anymore, thinking that will make you feel better. To commit suicide is an act of despair. It’s not wise

What I have been experiencing all these years is suffering. The longer you live, the more suffering you will have to go through. I am only 47, and yet I suffered the lost of both of my parents. I care deeply about my family, career, and democracy, but they are out of my control. When I feel completely hopeless, I suffer. If I can’t get rid of suffering, I have to embrace it. This is what Thích Nhất Hạnh was getting at:

[O]ur conscious mind knows that suffering has things to teach us, and that we shouldn’t be afraid of it. We are ready to suffer a little bit in order to learn, grow, and heal. We have to use our intelligence. We use our concentration to get insight, to transform the suffering and become an enlightened one, a free person.

Rather than succumb to suffering, I thrive on it. I don’t want suffering to hold me back. I was suffering when I first learned snowboarding. I kept falling hard and I could have given up, but I didn’t want to run away from my suffering. I kept at it until I could turn my suffering into pleasants. After reading this book, I will face suffering with a smile.

My Dearest Đạo,

It is hard to believe that our firstborn turns 16 today. Time flies by so fast. Even though you are taller than me now, I still can see the tiny baby I once held in my arms. I wish you are still a baby, but I have to accept the reality. You are becoming a young fellow. As far as I can see, you can do anything when you want to. You can be a wonderful son when you want to. You can be a great brother when you want to. You can be a great student when you want to. The only question is whether you want to or not.

Taking responsibilities is part of growing up. You are old enough now to think for yourself and your own future. Your mother and I already gave you more-than-enough information to succeed in life. We stressed the important of getting a good education because that how we grew up and that how we knew how to survive. That’s just our views. It is time for you to determine your own path, but don’t hesitate to reach out to us if you need our feedback. We are here for you and we will always be here for you until the day we die.

As parents, we always want all of our children to live a good, happy, healthy live. We will do anything for you, but we also want you to do things for yourself. I hope that you understand where we stand and why we did what we did in the last 15 years of your life. Our love for you will never change and our door will never shut you out. We will always welcome you with open arms and hearts, but we also want you to spread your wings and soar as high as you can.

Despite some roadblocks, you are still on the right track. Don’t let digital disillusion pull you off the rail. Stay positive and stay focus. We love you and we are proud of who you are becoming. I don’t know what the future will hold for you, but I can’t want to see it.

Happy 16^th Birthday!

Love,
Dad

Tesla’s profits fell 71 percent compared to the first quarter of 2024. Thanks to Elon Musk, Tesla went from iconic to garbage. Big props to everyone who participated in protesting Tesla. Your efforts worked. Let’s continue to defend our democracy.

Classical yet contemporary, unconventional yet functional, lively yet sturdy, extravagant yet simple, NaN Tragedy, designed by Jean-Baptiste Morizot, pushes the typographic contradictions to provide a wide range of dramas and versatilities within its family. NaN Tragedy equips with solid, expressive diacritics. For Vietnamese, its acute, grave, and hook above stack to the right of its circumflex. The tail on its hook is a killer. It’s all about the detail. Take a look!

Last week, I spent five days skiing and snowboarding with my family in Vermont. Today I am still recuperating as I am turning 47. My body is telling me that I am getting old. I was still killing it on the pistes though.

I love skiing and snowboarding and I hope I will continue to do so for many years to come. Being active on the snow helped my beat the winter blue. When I was shredding on the trails, my mind was clear and at ease. I was close to nature and far away from digital. As the weather warming up, which is great for most people, I get a pang of sadness.

I am not taking good care of myself as I should. I haven’t given up alcohol. I haven’t changed my terrible diet. Thankfully I am still healthy at 47. Gout is my only enemy, but I might have it under control with a daily dose of Allopurinol. I hope I won’t get a flare up again.

As for family, my wife and I are on good terms. She gets grumpier over time, but my love for her is still strong enough to tolerate it. My kids are growing fast. I try to spend as much time as I can with them even though they rather spend time on their digital device.

As I am aging, I need to take better of myself physically and mentally. I am more active now than when I was younger. I can’t stress myself out. I can’t fall into depression. I don’t want to deal with anything out of my control. I can’t worry about losing my job. I can’t worry about how my kids will turn out.

For the most part, I am happy. I am lucky to have what I have now. I strive to improve myself incrementally everyday. I hope I will do better at 47. Happy birthday to me.