Ba đêm qua Cu Đán thức giấc mổi một hai tiếng. Sợ hắn đánh thức cả nhà nên phải ẩm ổng lên để dổ. Bang ngày đi làm phải tống cafe vào để tỉnh táo. Sau giờ làm việc thì cái đầu nhức như muốn vỡ. Bên ngoài thì nóng trên 90 độ. Vào xe mở máy lạnh thì máu cam tuông ra ào ào. Mắt thì mở không ra còn tâm hồn thì như đi thăm địa ngục.

Láy xe đợi đèn xanh thì thiếp đi. Bị bớp còi thì hoảng hồn đạp ga tiếp. Đến nhà trẻ rước Cu Đạo thì tấp vào chổ đậu xe có góc cây ngã ghế xuống nhắm mắt được 15 phút trước khi đón con. Buổi tối khi ăn cơm xong thì chỉ muốn đặc mình lên giường ngủ nhưng thằng Cu Đạo không chịu đánh răng. Hắn cứ chần chờ mãi. Năng nỉ hoài không được đành phải đè hắn ra mà đánh (đánh răng chứ không phải đánh hắn).

Khi vào giường thì hắn giận dữ và cào cấu. Tôi đẩy hắn ra thì hắn khóc và la to, “Don’t do that.” (Đừng làm thế). Thấy hắn tội nghiệp và thấy mình cũng hơi nhẩn tâm, tôi ôm lấy hắn và nói, “Ba xin lỗi con. Ba thương con.” Hắn trả lời, “I am sorry. I love you too, daddy.” Thế thì hai cha con ôm nhau ngủ.

Đến hai giờ khuya lúc tỉnh giấc thấy đèn ở ngoài phòng còn sáng thì biết là bả xã còn thức với thằng nhỏ. Tôi bão, “Em đi ngũ với thằng lớn đi để anh ngủ với thằng nhỏ.” Vô nằm kế hắn vừa định ngủ thì anh ta ho lên rồi lăn qua lộn lại. Rồi thì mở mắt luôn. Cho bú thì lấy bình sữa chơi. Cho nằm thì la va lăn lóc chà mặt xuống nệm. Ẩm trên vai thì nói chuyện không ngưng. Đem vào nhà tắm thì ngắm nghía cây quạt. Đế gần 4 giờ sáng mới ngủ. Bây giờ thèm nhất là được róng lên: “Xin cho tôi yên ngủ một ngày…”

Đêm qua được ôm con ngủ ba rất phê. Cái tướng tròn trịa của con thật là đã. Nhanh quá mới đây mà con đã được tám tháng rồi. Cuối tuần rồi về bên nội ai cũng cưng con hết. Làm sao không cưng cho được cái nụ cười dể thương của con để hở ra hai cai răng con thỏ.

Con thích nhất là được ba ẩm trên tay rồi chui vào phòng tấm. Tiếng quạt nhà mình kêu cọt kẹt như thiếu nhớt vậy mà con ngủ thật ngon trên vai của ba. Ai cũng bảo rằng ba lằm như vậy con sẽ quen nhưng thật ra thì cơ hội như vậy rất hiếm hoi. Rồi con sẻ lớn và ba sẻ không được ôm con nữa. Thôi thì được ngày nào hay ngày nấy.

Thật ra thì tánh của con cũng rất dể chịu khiến ba má cũng không phải căng thẳng. Con được bú no ngủ đủ là con cười không nhăn nhéo không phàn nàn. Nhìn thấy con vui tươi ba cũng được phần nào an ủi. Người làm cha này cũng không tệ lắm. Cám ơn con ngoan của ba.

Vợ dưới lầu bơm sữa. Hai thằng ngủ hai phòng. Thằng nhỏ hét vổ vổ cái đít cho ngủ lại. Đến phiên thằng lớn thét cho mượn tay ôm đỡ ghiền. Tiện tay thăm tả luôn bằng không hôm sau ước giường phải giặt đồ còn cực và tốn hơn.

Dao’s new adjective: beautiful.

As we were walking to our car yesterday after I picked him up from daycare, he said, “It’s a beautiful day.” As we drove home and parked the car, he gave a compliment on our neighbor’s ride, “It’s a beautiful red car.”

Before bedtime, he sang a song he learned at summer camp: “Where are the penguins? Mighty mighty penguins. Wobble, wobble wobble…” He laughed and said, “It’s a beautiful song.” I said to him, “You are so hilarious.” Let’s see when he’ll start using the word “hilarious.”

If we continue the way we live now, I am sure we could become pretty damn rich.

Lil Dan refuses to take formulas, which is a great saving for us. He only prefers his mom’s fresh milk. Unfortunately his mom can’t produce enough for him to consume. He’s eating quite a bit nowadays.

Dao doesn’t eat anything except white rice and sauce made from thit kho (Vietnamese Caramelized Braised Pork Belly and Eggs) and he would eat any vegetable with ketchup. So we don’t spend much on him either.

As for me, my wife has been packing lunch so I don’t have to go to Eden Center anymore. I haven’t have lobster for two weeks in a row and it has been on sale for $13.99. At times I just pull out a 28-cent instant noodles and get it over with.

Once I kick my Starbucks’ addiction and with all these cost savings, I am pretty sure we can paid off the house in a couple of years. LOL!

There I said it. I am suck at parenting. Unfortunately you would never know until you become a parent. I love my two kids more than life itself, but that doesn’t make me a good parent. Then again I am learning and improving, because I have no choice. For the past year, I literally didn’t know what to do with Dao. I tried various methods and nothing worked. It goes in his one ear and out the other. I wasn’t sure he was not comprehensible or he simply doesn’t want to. Fortunately, I think he’s getting it.

Dao could be such a lovely kid if he wants to or be such a pain in the ass if he chooses to. The past week his behavior had changed a bit. I still have to make him to do his daily tasks, but his resistance level had dropped. As I assured him that if we could take the shower and brush his teeth quicker, we would have a much better time. Once he listened, we were able to enjoy reading and playing before bedtime. I am confidence that we can still reigning him in.

As for Dan, what a lovely boy. He makes me feel like parenting isn’t so bad after all, at least for now. He’s a happy little baby despite all the eczema bothering him. Love it when he smiles and showing his rabbit teeth. Definitely not looking forward to the terrible two and terrifying three stages. Who knows he’ll give us less grief. We’ll see.

Dao came home from his first day at summer camp yesterday and was thrilled when May opened the door for him. Since the weather was so beautiful (sunny and breezy), Linh and I took the kids to the playground. The horrendous memory of last year incident has completely gone. Dao and May are now bigger and they much more skillful at climbing and sliding. Fifteen minutes went by and lil Dan got hungry so Linh brought him back home while I stayed at the playground to look after the twin. We had the whole playground to ourselves. Watching the two kids played together made me want to freeze the time and let this precious moment last forever. I was also getting a bit of nostalgia.

We didn’t head back home until 8 something. Then we set up an indoor picnic table for the kids and served them hu tieu My Tho, one of my favorite noodle soups, Linh had prepared. Yes, I had two bowls. Speaking of food, Linh made us canh kho qua (bitter gourd soup) and mam chung (Vietnamese meatloaf) in addition to the noodle soup. We will be all set for the rest of the week.

We were ecstatic to have Linh and May spending a few days with us. The two kids who shared nothing in common except their birthday could hang out together. Despite the drastic changes in personality, Dao and May can still play together for most of the time. One thing hasn’t changed is that Dao is still very attracted to May and May is still giving him a cold treatment. For instance, Dao tried to rest his head on May’s shoulder, but she pushed him away. Dao has yet to learn about rejection. Whenever he got frustrated, he took it out on me.

Linh and May arrived last Thursday and rested for the entire day because they took a red-eye flight. On Friday the weather reached above 90 degrees. They went out to DC and we went to Dao’s summer camp open house. Then we headed straight home afterward to stay cool. So the kids stayed at the house for the rest of the evening. On Saturday, May went to get her haircut and we went to VietFest at George Mason. Again, the heat was so hot that we got tired after just an hour or two outside. Again the kids on played together for a bit in the evening. On Sunday, we all went to an indoor swimming pool and they had a blast. Even lil Dan loved the water. He kicked his feet and slapped his hands in the water non-stop.

Five days went by so quick even though we didn’t get to do much. Still I am glad that the two family could spend some time together. Yes, Dao will come home from school today to find May gone. I could already see the sadness in his face and the disappoint in his voice asking, “May dau roi?”

We’re very grateful that Linh and May had made an effort to come to us all the way from the west coast. That alone makes our friendship invaluable. Thank you for the wonderful time and memories. Let’s do it again next year.

• Consequences
• Defiance: Why it happens and what to do about it
• Promoting Self Control: It Might Not Be What You Think
• With Blocks, Educators Go Back to Basics
• The 2 Key Parenting Skills You Didn’t Know About

Yesterday Dao’s teacher reported that he hit everyone at school for no reason. When he hit a bigger kid, he got his ass beat. I hope he had a taste of reality.

At home he behaved well for the most part. I was changing Dan because he spat milk on me and Dao showed me the brand new Lightning McQueen and asked me to open it for him. I asked him, “Did mommy let you have it?” He replied, “Yes. But I want you to open it for me.” I wanted to see what he would do if he gets the reward first. So I told him that I’ll open for you if you do this and this for me including not hitting friends. He replied, “Yes. I listen to you. Hands are for holding, not for hitting.”

We hit the shower, brushed our teeth and went to bed before 9pm. We read books and jumped around until 10 something. He actually did what he promised to do. When he fell asleep with cars in his hands, I tried to response to my clients’ emails, but then found out that I Love Ngoc Lan was hacked. I spent a couple of hours fixing it and went to bed at one something. The next morning he woke up and excited to go to school. Wow, for the first time my son actually wanted to go to school. I remained him what we talked yesterday and he repeated the “hand for holding” phrase. He went on in Vietnamese, “We take the old car to school. The new car is for going out only.” Usually he just want to ride in the new minivan, but today we took the old car.

We arrived at school around 7:45am, which was still early, and found a parking space closed to the building. As we walked off the parking lot he told me, “I don’t want to hold hands.” I asked him, “Why? What are hands for?” He replied, “Hands are for holding cars.” He was holding two cars in his hands. As I opened his classroom’s door, I ran right to Jackson, his car buddy, and showed Jackson his brand new Lightning McQueen. It hit me that the reason he was anxious to go to school was to show off his new toy. Let’s hope he’ll have a good day today.

Yesterday morning Dana and I met an inclusion specialist at JCC to touch base on Dao’s behavior. It was heartbreaking to hear how unhappy he was in class because he cried every time he couldn’t get what he wanted. We had turned him into a spoiled kid. The specialist gave us some techniques on consequences and warned us that it will be tough discipline him now, but we need to reign him in.

After work I went pick up cu Dan and went home. Dao was eating dinner and watching TV. Things seemed to be fine until I asked him to go take a bath. Of course, he refused so I brought out Lightning McQueen, which I bought a few weeks ago, just for him to take a peak. I told him, “If you’re good, I’ll give it to you at the end of the week.” He replied, “Yes, I am a good boy. I want to go take a shower.” As I was giving him a bath and washing his hands, he told me, “Hands are for holding, not for hitting.” Wow, I was so proud of my son.

After the shower, things started to get wild. He claimed his prize, “Daddy, I am being a good boy. Can I have Lightning McQueen? I really need it. I want to play with it now.” I said, “Yes, you are being such a good boy and if you keep up this behavior I’ll give it to you at the end of the week.” He started screaming, rolling down the floor, putting his fingers in his mouth trying to gag up. I stayed firm and continued to explain to him that type of behavior is not going to get him the toy and I love him. He tried to hit and scratched me. I held on to his hands and asked, “What are hands for?” His respond was, “For hitting.” I let him go, he picked up books and tissue box and tossed them at me. I just let him went on until he could calm down. When he did he asked for mommy. When Dana came up, he tried to tell her that “Daddy is not nice to me.” Dana stood by me and explained to him why he didn’t get his toy. Not sure what she told him, but he came and apologized to me. He gave me a hug and kiss.

The whole experience was quite something. I didn’t feel bad because I didn’t spank or yell at him. I didn’t led up either. I re-emphasized several times, “I love you, but I don’t like your behavior.” It was eye-opening to see a three year old put on quite a show. He is actually not a hardheaded kid. He just knew that he could get away with it if he pushed harder. When he knew he couldn’t get it he stopped and tried other methods like turning to his mom. He makes a much bigger scene when we’re in a room full of adults. This little fellow is a good actor. Back when he was one or younger, he slided on the floor when he didn’t get what he wanted, but he wouldn’t slide on a hardwood floor. It was hilarious seeing him looking for spot that had the rug to slide down on his stomach.