Since I only skimmed through Miss Vietnam Global 2007 (even the bikini part), I don’t remember much about the contestants. One in particular, however, stood out to me not because of her beauty (she didn’t even make it to the top 25), but her flowery name: Daisy Lan Huong Lieu. Didn’t remember what she looked like but the name sure stuck.

The music part gets skimmed even quicker. I couldn’t even get through Tran Thu Ha’s performance even with my eyes closed. (I have heard repeatedly from people that she is the type that you listen to and not watch.) Her snoozing, jazzlite cover of Ngo Thuy Mien’s “Dau Tinh Sau” is exactly what she once commented: “Nhạc jazz VN tới nay thường là ‘râu ông nọ cắm cằm bà kia’ hoặc đu đưa cho có vẻ jazz một tí.” And sadly the entertainers get worse from Dam Vinh Hung to Hong Ngoc to Nguyen Thang. Still the most disturbing performance is from Angelina Cat Tien who is an adorable, innocent, little girl dressed up as Barbie and singing “Barbie Girl” backing up by a dozens of dancers around her age (no older than 12). Obviously she is too young to understand the lyrics, but it is quite unsettling when hearing she sings lines like: “Life in plastic, it’s fantastic! / You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere / … / kiss me here, touch me there, hanky panky… / You can touch, you can play, if you say: “I’m always yours.” / … / Make me walk, make me talk, do whatever you please / I can act like a star, I can beg on my knees.” I just can’t believe the parents who allowed their daughter to portrait such a horror image.

Speaking of image makes me wonder what is the value to a show that competes for external beauty. Nothing wrong with that really except when one of the show’s sponsors, Bich Ngoc Cosmetic Surgery Center, gives away a certificate worth $10,000 to a lucky winner who wishes to change her image if she wasn’t born with a beautiful one. I must hand it to Ms. Bich Ngoc and Dr. Vu Ban for their business mentality. That’s a $10,000 worth of free advertisement for them. If you were that lucky winner, would you come to their clinic after looking at her? I doubt it.

What a “Ngam Ngui” tune. Duc Tuan has done a great job of bringing out the compassion in Huy Can’s lyrics:

Cây dài bóng xế ngẩn ngơ
Hồn em đã chín mấy mùa buồn đau
Tay anh em hãy tựa đầu
Cho anh nghe nặng trái sầu rụng rơi.

Before heading off to the shore (Wildwood, New Jersey), I leave you guys with Duc Tuan’s outstanding rendition of “Hoi Trung Duong” from his classic Pham Dinh Chuong songbook for you to enjoy while I am gone. Not sure if you’ll miss me, but I am sure the magnificent orchestration and Duc Tuan’s soulful, powerful vocals will keep you entertain for the rest of the week. Love his Hue accents:

Miền Trung vọng tiếng
Em xinh em bé tên là Hương Giang
Đêm đêm khua ánh trăng vàng mà than
Hò ơi, phiên Đông Ba buồn qua cửa chợ
Bến Vân Lâu thuyền vó đơm sâu.
Hỡi hò, hỡi hò, Quê hương em nghèo lắm ai ơ
Mùa đông thiếu áo hè thời thiếu ăn.
Trời rằng, trời hành cơn lụt mỗi năm à ơi,
Khiến đau thương thấm tràn, ngập Thuận An
Để lan biển khơi, ơi hò ơi hò.

I am outta here!

Not too long ago, Ha Tran made the following audacious statement: “Nhạc jazz VN tới nay thường là ‘râu ông nọ cắm cằm bà kia’ hoặc đu đưa cho có vẻ jazz một tí.” Now she is contributing a hot-tub, smooth bossa nova number on Tran Viet Tan’s new record, Biet. Despite her contradictory, I find her singing on the Latin-flavored “Vet Chan” way better than the electric shit she has done. She knows how to work the sensual lithe in her flow against the faintly syncopated arrangement. Elsewhere, she gives “Me Ganh Nuoc” a heart-lifting performance with such effortless control. And she pulls it off with just a simple accompaniment of piano and violin.

Beside Ha Tran, Biet features two other vocalists, Thanh Lam and Tung Duong, yet they couldn’t hold up to Ha Tran. Yes, even Thanh Lam too. Unlike Ha Tran, her flow is stilted on the Latin groove of “Dong Song.” She does not have the playfulness to ride the mid-tempo beat. The worse part is that Thanh Lam uses her vibrato all over the place, to the point where I just couldn’t take it anymore. Doctor Tan should have subscribed her some chill pills before she stepped into the booth. Tung Dung also seems to be limiting his range and recycling the same delivery lately. The versatile Tung Dung is hidden in Chay Tron.

As for songwriter/doctor Tran Viet Tan, I don’t know if he is a good doctor or not since I’ve never paid his office a visit. I do know for sure, however, is his passion for music. He knows how to make songs for his patients. Biet is a perfect album to be played in his waiting room. The first track would calm them down. The second track would ease their pain. The third track would anesthetize them until the time their name is called. The doc is in.

When being asked about Vietnamese jazz, Tran Thu Ha said, “Nhạc jazz VN tới nay thường là ‘râu ông nọ cắm cằm bà kia’ hoặc đu đưa cho có vẻ jazz một tí. Hiện tại, chỉ có Jazzy Dạ Lam theo đúng kiểu” (Phụ Nữ Chủ Nhật).

Jazzy’s Moon & You is a mixture of pop, jazz and funk. I like its uniqueness, but that’s not necessarily the “right” approach to jazz. It’s more like Norah Jones’ pop, jazz and old country buffet that attracts the bourgeois but not the aficionados. To dismiss Vietnamese jazz as “râu ông nọ cắm cằm bà kia” is not entirely accurate. Maybe some of Tran Thu Ha’s own jazz-up songs were, but there are still some decent tunes like Le Minh Son’s “Trang Khat” performed by Tung Duong. That’s some deep shades of blues right there. The voice is raspy and soulful, and the instrumental improvisations are damn hypnotic. While we’re at it, let’s not forget that he blew her out like candle not once but twice with his bossa-nova rendition of “Chay Tron.”

In addition, I see nothing wrong with taking the basic chords of Vietnamese ballads and extending them into jazz improvisations. In fact, Trinh Cong Son compositions are perfect because they are simple, which give musicians plenty of space to work around the minimal structure. For examples, Art Pepper and his sidemen took “Besame Mucho” (the last track in TTBlue’s collection) and pushed it to twenty minutes plus of exhilarating solos, or completely reinvented “História De Un Amor” (A Love Story) with his own personal interpretation.

Even though jazz is sophisticated, you shouldn’t be discouraged from it. You don’t have be at the level of Louis Armstrong, Duke Ellington, Count Basie, Charlie Parker, Dizzy Gillespie, Coleman Hawkins, Charles Mingus, Thelonious Monk, Miles Davis, John Coltrane, Ornette Coleman, Dave Brubeck, Bill Evans, or Art Pepper. Playing and singing with your own heart and feeling is all that needed. There is no right or wrong way to approach jazz. The question should be how you approach jazz.

After battling a vocal competition against diva Khanh Ha in “Tinh Yeu Cho Em,” Bang Kieu has created a signature style for himself: painful covers of already disheartening songs. His latest evisceration of “Anh Den Tham Em Dem 30” proves that Bang Kieu is already on his way to become the next Vietnamese diva who loves to wail up his mezzo-soprano voice over a depressing tune.

In the beginning, Bang Kieu stays faithful to Vu Thanh An’s original intention by singing the song softly and quietly, “Anh đến thăm em đêm 30 / còn đêm nào vui bằng đêm 30.” Sounds lovely, but based on his previous performances on Thuy Nga’s Paris by Night, you already know where he’s going with the progression. So embrace yourself for a powerful, painful drama by sticking a glock to your head and let the count down begins. “Tay em lạnh để cho tình mình ấm / môi em mềm cho giấc ngủ anh thơm,” be patience it will come because he, himself, can’t wait to belt his voice out like divas such as Celine Dion, Mariah Carey, and Whitney Houston. “Dòng sông đêm hồn đen sâu thao thức… / ngàn vì sao mọc hay lệ khóc nhau…” the lyrics get gloomy but not quite there yet. “Đá… buồn chết theo sau ngày vực sâu… / rớt hoài xuống hư không,” so depressing that even a rock wants to die. Why would you want to live? Bang Kieu don’t even give you time to think about it; therefore, he skips over a whole octave and drops napalm on the last three words, “cuộc tình đau” to make sure you’ll blow your own brain out. Would you rather die or being tortured with that horrendous scream from an eunuch? The choice is yours.

So if you’re looking for the saddest, gloomiest tune for Vietnamese New Year, look no further than Bang Kieu’s rendition of “Anh Den Tham Em Dem 30.” No one will be able to top that for a long, long time. Great depressing job, honey Kieu!

Rồi mai đây đi trên đường đời
Đừng buông tay âm thầm tìm về cô đơn
Một khi trao áo hồng
Là khi trao tiếng cười
Luôn ghi kỷ niệm ban đầu yêu thương.

Even though the lyric in Lê Uyên Phương’s “Bài Ca Hạnh Ngộ” is a bit too cute, Thiên Phượng’s sweet but unsurgery, soft but unhorsey (my bad translation of “không có ngựa”) vocals make the song romantic in her own unruffled style.

This song goes out to the one that rocks my world.

Sick and tired of hearing me? Well, I am, so here are some of the Vietnamese blogs I recommend:

Vietnamese young generation should take note from MsNguyen’s reflection of Tet:

I love Tết to the point that my heart aches when knowing other Vietnamese discard it, throw it away from the window like it has no significance to their existences and identities at all. It hurts when other Vietnamese would pick up Christmas and Thanksgiving as deemed important and cultural “superior” than Tết, as if it’s a “cool” and “culturally assimilated” trend.

TTBlue on Le Minh Son:

Le Minh Son recently release a new album that he composed/sang/produced at the same time labled “Gieng Lang.” I’ve yet to decide whether to subject myself to another round of torture of call it off altogether. After so many disappointments, it’s hard to give it a go.

HmL’s hooked on Ngoc Ha:

In this compilation of Pre-War music (Nhạc Tiền Chiến), Ngọc Hạ seems to be in her natural elements, where she is allowed to “paint” with her voice. These are not necessarily popular songs, some arguably considered semi-classical (“bán cồ điển;” more on this in a bit!) They however are songs by which serious singers are judged (against the likes of Thái Thanh and Thanh Thúy). Ngọc Hạ make them all seem effortless!

Rồi em cất bước ra đi
Tim anh giá băng hồn anh chết lặng
Em đã ra đi không nói năng chi
Anh nhớ mãi dáng em thiên thần

Thanks for leaving a deep, gorgeous voice in our hearts. Now that your spirit is truly free, fly high my dear, but please keep singing for the rest of us who are still here trapped.

After she did such a wonderful job with Ngoc Ha’s Nuoc Mat Mua Thu, I challenged her to take on Y Lan’s Hoi Tinh. As a chemical engineer who writes instructions on how to operate pharmaceutical equipments, could she move beyond her dried, mechanical style into something creative and erotic? To my surprise, she did not only nailed the translation, but also makes it more sensual than my original intention with her good use of Vietnamese.

Ý Lan là một trong những người đàn bà không muốn trưởng thành. Cũng chẳng tội tình gì, tuy cũng có lúc cô cũng đáng bị đét cho vài cái bởi cái tính ỏng ẹo như đứa con gái mới lớn, khi mà cô đã bước qua cái tuổi 50. Làm sao thay đổi bây giờ, bởi chính cô cũng thừa nhận đó là cái tính bẩm sinh của mình. Cô là một người đàn bà sở hửu một trái tim non dại, một tâm hồn trẻ trung và tràn đầy dục cảm.

Khi mới nghe qua đĩa nhạc Hỏi Tình mới nhất của Ý Lan, tôi lấy làm khó hiểu không biết cái dụng ý của cô là gì. Nhạc truyền thống, nhạc jazz, tình ca, và cả liên khúc hổn độn. Nhưng sau khi nghe lại một vài lần, tôi chợt hiểu thì ra đây là một động tình chứa đầy sự cám dỗ. Cô mời gọi tình yêu với “Hỏi Tình” để rồi van xin tình yêu đến với mình trong khi cô “Còn chất chứa tình yêu một thời để rồi nghe tàn phai / Bóng anh xa dần mãi còn lại tôi giữa cơn đau này” (“Còn Nghe Tiếng Gọi”). Trong “Anh Là Tất Cả,” cô thao thức trông chờ ban mai đến để được đến với tình vì chỉ có tình mới xoa tan mọi lo lắng phiền muộn trong cô. “Thôi thì… thôi thì… như thế cũng xong / Bao năm… bao năm chăn gối trông hòng gì đâu? / Đắng cay hờn tủi đã nhiều / Lệ tuôn như đổ trăm chiều khô đâu.” Cũng dể hiểu thôi, ở cùng lứa tuổi với cô có bao nhiêu người đàn ông có thể chìu chuộng cô như thời còn trai trẻ. Cô cần một gã thanh niên cường tráng để có thể song hành với cô trong cơn thác loạn (“Đêm Thấy Ta Là Thác Đổ”). Tiếng rên rỉ trong “Áo Lụa Hà Đông” như để khoấy động lòng người. Và như thể là chưa đủ, cô buông lời trêu gẹo lúc “Khỏa Thân Đêm,” để làm cho ta thêm thèm khát.

Có thể không ưa cái ỏng ẻo của Ý Lan, nhưng phải nói cái tính này đôi lúc cũng làm cho con người ta thèm ước. Không nên nghe dĩa nhạc này nêu như ta là kẻ ngoan đạo bởi nó sẽ đẩy ta vào con đường tội lỗi. Đó là trái với lời dạy của Chúa.