I know I am old when my little nephew who I used to hold in my arms is now in 10th grade and taller than me. I know I am old when the little boy who used to live next to me and my mom has a son older than my son. I still remember him wearing his diaper running around our apartment and now he’s changing his baby’s diaper. How crazy is that? Now we can talk about fatherhood to each other.

Dana told me that yesterday marked her 17 years living in the States. I then realized that I have been here for 19 years, even though I can’t remember the exact date. Although I have been here for almost two decades, become an American citizen and changed my name to Donny, I never once feel like this is a permanent place. Somehow Vietnam still holds on to me like the color of my skin, which hasn’t get any lighter over the years, even though childhood memory is the only part of me that belongs to Vietnam.

I have changed and so has Vietnam. My relationship with Vietnam is like my relationship with my father who hasn’t been around me all these years. We are connected by blood, but the gap is unbridgeable. We love each other, but we are distanced. I can’t live with my father just like I can’t live in Vietnam. We’re in two different worlds and our lifestyles have changed. My life is better here, but I still don’t feel a sense of home. I don’t yearn to go back just like a kid who grows up and doesn’t want to return home.

When I look at the older generation like my mom and my parents-in-law, I wonder how do they feel? With their limited English, this is definitely a temporary place for them. How do they live on and adapted to the environment that is so foreign to them? Was it because of the hardship in the past that give them the strength?

Often times I see myself living here temporarily for the rest of my life and than die on this land and that’s it. Don’t give me wrong. I love America and I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else in the world, but here. It just that Vietnam is also part of me. When I am in this sentimental mood, Trịnh Công Sơn’s “Ở Trọ” comes to mind and his words help me get through: “Tôi nay ở trọ trần gian / Trăm năm về chốn xa xăm cuối trời.” Even life is just an interim and you will go somewhere else after this. So live this short, impermanent life to the fullest so that “Mai kia dù có ra sao cũng đành.”

Tu Ngan Ka writes in Thanh Nien:

In 2006, Donny set up a [slideshow] where people can enjoy beautiful images of Vietnam and a lovely song called “Bonjour Vietnam” written by French songwriter Marc Lavoine and performed by Pham Quynh Anh, a Vietnamese Belgian.

Donny completed a course in digital arts and multimedia design in 2001 at La Salle University in Philadelphia in the US. He is now working at Vassar College in New York.

Designing websites allows him to work and improve his creativity.

Passionate about designing websites and fond of folk songs about Vietnamese villages, he set up visualgui.com in the hope of sharing his knowledge of website design as well as reviews of Vietnamese songs written in Vietnam and abroad.

“Bonjour Vietnam” is just one of the slideshows that Donny has compiled.

He’s amazed how popular his sites are amongst young people.

“Perhaps, we have a shared idea and deep love for Vietnam,” he said. “It is a process of sharing.”

I can still remember the exact words my cousin Phuong told me: “I stay this way to take care of my mum.” Meaning she’ll stay single to look after my aunt who suffered from a stroke that almost took her life. That was twelve years ago and my cousin was in her forties. Although my aunt has recovered, she is still paralyzed and in need of personal care including washing up, changing diaper, and eating. My cousin, being the oldest daughter in the house, has single-handedly taken care of her mom.

My cousin not only has a huge heart, but also a great personality. Prior to looking after her mom, she ran and managed the family’s grocery store. It was her hard work, honestly and smiles that drove the business. Customers loved her. She was so kind that if you could convince her, she would allow you to buy first and pay later. This character of her drove my aunt crazy because many customers wouldn’t pay her back. She ended up covered the lost out of her own pocket.

As for me, she had played an important role in my career. It was her who loaned my mom $1,200 to buy my first PC. In my sophomore year, I knew I wanted to be a web designer, which required a computer to work on my skills. My mom didn’t work at the time; therefore, her finance was limited. Thankfully my cousin covered it for us and mom would pay her back each month. Yet, I offered to pay up after I landed my first freelance gig.

That’s my sweet cousin. The things she has done for all of us are immeasurable, and she never mentioned any of it. She doesn’t need to seek for any recognition. Deep down our heart, we know how much we appreciate her and how proud we are of her.

I miss you, hommie. Looking at your little brother’s engagement photos makes me realized that almost a decade has passed. I still remember it like yesterday when we found every possible reason to cut school. We cut school because we needed the sunlight to tint your little red-hot ride. We cut school to play Tien Len at your crib. We cut school just because school’s breakfast sucked, and then we raced each other all the way to Philly to have Dim Sum. But hey, we made it through high school, didn’t we?

You were the craziest, man. That chick was jealous because I spent more time with you and the crew. Remember the Oriental Club’s trip to Montreal? We drank, gambled, bugged out at the arcades, and hit the clubs. Even though we couldn’t keep our eyes open the next day, our breakfast served by French-spoken waitresses in tight shorts and bras sure woke us all up. Yet the best part was when you made that stuck-up Julia unstuck while entertained us with your wack-ass muses during all those long rides.

The good old memories I will never forget, my brother. Shit done changed down here, dawg. Without you holding everyone together, we all grew apart. Luan moved to Cali like he had always wanted and married with three kids. The last time I talked to Tung, which was about five years ago, he was polishing nails and dropped out of Penn State. See what happen when you weren’t around to watch him? He kept his head in them boobs instead of them books. With your hustling skills and his brain, you guys would have pulled it through. It’s a damn shame because he was the smartest out of all of us. We copied his homework so much that we both failed on every Calculus exam.

I wish I could turn back the hand of time, and I wish that accident never happened. After you had drowned, I was sinking too, and it was your mom who pulled me back up. She told me that you would be happy if I succeed in school. I’ve done my best not to let you down, so rest in joy, my brother.

(A late eulogy)

The beta version of Textpattern is available for download. Word up!

Back to work

Snow is out, back to work. After many hours of playing around with different layouts for nfsahc.org yesterday, it’s finally coming together. It’s time to send it off to the client. Also waiting for the contents to arrived. Hopefully it’ll launched some time next week.

Cooked Rice

Mom bought me a rice cooker and a bag of rice when I first moved to Poughkeepsie. Being stuck in the snow yesterday, I finally started to cook my first rice. Added a little bit too much water but it was eatable. Ain’t nuttin’ better than sticky rice and burnt hot dogs. Ghetto style, baby!

My mini web page at Vassar College gets a face-lifted. Check it out!

Enchiladas Verdes

Craving for some Mexican food? Check out Keisha’s Enchiladas Verdes dish. Nice little recipe with fun photos. Looks delicious, Keish! Can’t wait to try them.

Wicked Animation

Although Tokyoplastic is not usable but the animation is mad wicked. Don’t forget to check out the bloody graphics. They are pretty wicked too.

Both Frontmedia and Cinnamon Interactive are organized, clean and surprisingly simple. While Frontmedia is fluid and slick in Flash, Cinnamon Interactive is hot and spicy in css.

College Years

Reading this post reminded me of my good old college days. The phrase “1 hour in class equivalent to 3 hours of study time” is way exaggerated. I hardly spent any time reading during college. In fact, after my freshman year, I stopped buying textbooks. They were a waste of money and I never read them. So how did I get through college? Of course I didn’t get straight As but some As and Bs were not bad for not reading textbooks either. First of, I never missed class time. Yes, it was very important not to missed class because my C grades turned into B with perfect attendants. Secondly, I listened carefully to the lectures and wrote down all the notes. At night, I would revised my notes to make it clearer and readable. The night before exam, I would spent three to four hours studied my notes. Yes, it worked every time. Well, except for one History class. I had a 12:30 class and my professor put me to sleep everyday with his monotone. The class started out with 19 students. Two weeks later, there was 11 left. After I bombed the first 2 exams in a row, I knew it was time for me to withdraw. I received a W on my report card but it didn’t effect my gpa. I had to take an extra class the following semester to make up for it. I still remember it till this day. Other than that, I was doing good.

InspirAsian
Asian designers that inspired me: Yugo Nakamura, Gicheol Lee, Chris Dang and Hien Nguyen. I know there’s a lot more fantastic asian designers out there; however, these guys just came to my mind for the moment.

Below is an informal conversation with Jazzy Da Lam by yours truly. At first, I wanted to do a formal Q&A, but Jazzy is such an easygoing individual that I decided to throw all that out the window, and just have a normal interaction with her. As you can see, I have never done this before, but (thankfully) Jazzy has made it painless and enjoyable for me. Hope you enjoy this special exchange that can only be found at Visualgui.com.

Jazzy: Hi Donny
Donny: Hi Jazzy, I have not prepared anything.
Jazzy: We can wait till you’re ready… then we can chat. [Giggles]
Donny: Let me listen to your album [Moon & You] more carefully first.
Jazzy: Uh oh… Listen carefully for more criticisms, hihihi…
Donny: Hahaha… Are you mocking me?
Jazzy: Mocking, no. Shaking, yes.
Donny: You’re living in Germany?
Jazzy: Yea.. Munich, Germany.
Donny: You know German?
Jazzy: Yes! But not that good.
Jazzy: Would you like me to sing in German for you? [Laugh]
Donny: I would love to hear it, but wouldn’t understand a thing.
Donny: How about English? You sing English pretty good.
Jazzy: Many said that I sing English not too clear, but some like it and very supportive (they probably trying to make me feel good… by encouraging me), but I did my best… There are always two sides of things, praises and criticisms… I understand the ones that praise me are encouraging me, and the ones that criticize would like me to work harder; therefore, I appreciate both positive and negative feedbacks.
Donny: You sound pretty clear to me.
Jazzy: oh… thanks Donny.
Donny: I have listened to quite a few Vietnamese singers sing in English, but their pronunciations are way off. Did someone train you in English or you’ve trained yourself?
Jazzy: Oh I have asked several friends both Viet and American to hear how I sound. Overall the reaction is good. They said I have an accent, but that’s not important because sometimes the accent makes the song more exotic (That’s what they said).
Donny: Yes! Definitely.
Jazzy: American friends don’t expect me to sing like an American; therefore, they love it [when I sing in English]. And so… I don’t learn anything from them… I have to listen to CDs to learn on my own.
Donny: Your accent sounds really cute. I am not saying that to make you feel good either.
Jazzy: Ok ok… No more shy… I can now lift my nose up, huh? [laugh]
Donny: How did you come up with “Jazzy?”
Jazzy: Online friends came up with that name for me.
Donny: Although your name suggests jazz, your debut is consisted of jazz, blues, funk, pop and classic. Which one is your style?
Jazzy: That’s my style, everything. A little pop mixed into jazz, funk, blues…
Donny: Then you need to change your name to Jazzymixy? [Laugh]
Jazzy: hahahaha… yea
Jazzy: As a child I learned classic piano. Love Chopin, Bach and Debusy… Therefore, they influence my music.
Donny: And now, piano jazz?
Jazzy: Yes.
Donny: Who is your favorite jazz pianist?
Jazzy: Oh, many. At the beginning, I listened to Oscar Peterson. Then Bill Evans and Keith Karrett were my heros. And now I have paid more attention to Michel Camilo & Rubalcaba Gonzales.
Donny: How about Thelonious Monk?
Jazzy: I like to listen to him, but can’t play like him.
Donny: Why not? Too choppy?
Jazzy: My hands are too small. Playing like him is impossible. [Laugh]
Donny: I love him and Duke too.
Jazzy: I have a live DVD concert of Monk… just amazing!
Jazzy: Duke’s arrangements are wicked too.
Donny: How is your album doing in Vietnam?
Jazzy: It sold more than 1,000 copies in the first two weeks.
Donny: Congrats!
Jazzy: thx
Donny: I think my review has something to do with it. [Sniff Sniff]
Jazzy: hihihi… sure.
Donny: Just kidding. I am not that arrogant. [Laugh]
Jazzy: We have something in common [Giggles]
Donny: Absolutely [Giggles]
Donny: Speaking of my review, I did mention the scats at the end of “Khuc Dem.” Have you thought of scats for the whole song like Ella Fitzgerald?
Jazzy: Ohh, I used to perform “Shadow of Your Smile” with bossa feeling, and I have to scat 2-3 choruses. But this CD is for Vietnamese listeners, and it’s also my debut… I would like to keep it calm and quiet.
Donny: You mean not to make too much impression?
Jazzy: Yes. Something like that.
Donny: Hmm… Very humble!
Jazzy: Hehehe… humble?… Yeah! I am being “humbled” just to trick you. [Laugh]
Donny: Speaking of calmness, you’re a mellow person huh?
Jazzy: I think I am, but the person opposite from me might not think so.
Donny: Oh yeah, who is that “opposite” person?
Jazzy: You…[Laugh]
Donny: Yeah…sure [Laugh]
Donny: I am a mellow guy too. That’s why I appreciate “Vat Trang.”
Jazzy: You like “Vat Trang?” Can you give me a reason?
Donny: I didn’t get it at first, but once I am on the road at night, “Vat Trang” comes to life. It’s like Serenade.
Jazzy: Serenade is a form of Nocturne (a night song), and “Vat Trang” is like that. Or “Mau Dem,” “Dao Khuc,” Vong Dem,” Khuc Dem, “Trang & Em.” They all pitch black. [Laugh]
Jazzy: You like “Mau Dem” the best right? Why?
Donny: Didn’t I give a reason in my review? Just kidding. I like the tranquility, the quietness, the calmness, the urge to sooth, and your nightingale-like voice near the end.
Jazzy: [Blushing]
Donny: Are you touring now?
Jazzy: Yes. I am on the road with my funk band in Austria and Italy. In Munich, I am in a group called The Tulips – an Acapella Gospel Choir.
Donny: When will you be in the US to show us some love? [Wink]
Jazzy: I would love to have an opportunity to perform for the US audience, but my schedule is not working out this year. Hopefully next year.
Donny: What are your plans in the future?
Jazzy: I have many upcoming projects. One of them is an album in which I will perform my favorite jazz standards and another one with new materials including instrumental compositions I have written.
Donny: Sound very exciting. I am looking forward to both. Thanks for your time and good luck.

We are conducting a series of interviews with some of the Vietnamese Americans behind successful websites. First up is Donny Truong of Visualgui.com.

Donny Truong runs the popular Vietnamese American blog – Visualgui.com. We caught up with him to chat about running a website, the design business, and blogs.

Talking with Michael Nguyễn from Tiếng Magazine

Thanks for taking the time to talk with us Donny. Can you tell us a bit about yourself? What is your background?

I was born in My Tho, Vietnam and came to the US 12 years ago. I am currently a web designer at Vassar College in Poughkeepsie, NY. I am also running a personal website (visualgui.com) and a tribute site to a talented Vietnamese singer Ngoc Lan (iLoveNgocLan.com) with a couple of dedicated fans. I love design and it is probably the only thing I am good at.

Your site Visualgui was rated best Vietnamese blog by a couple sites. What do you think goes into creating a successful blog?

Oh really? I am not even aware of it. From a designer perspective, a successful blog must be attractive, accessible, and easy to use. Obviously, content is still the heart and soul of the blog. I write regularly and I choose topics that interested me. For example, Vietnamese food, Vietnamese music, hip hop music, design books, and inspiration.

Has your Vietnamese background influenced the way you design websites?

Good question. I don’t think my background influenced my design but Vietnamese music has inspired my work. For example, the motion piece I created called “Một Chút Quà Cho Quê Hương” was inspired by Việt Dũng’s emotional lyrics and Ngọc Lan’s remarkable performance.

Could you describe the Vietnamese American community (if there is one) over on the east coast? Over here on the west coast the community is quite large – how does it compare over there?

From where I am living now (Poughkeepsie, NY), I can’t even find a Vietnamese person, except for the nails parlor at the mall. I wish there is a Vietnamese Community here.

Did you immigrate here with your family?

Yes! I came here with my mom and older sister.

Has the internet made it possible for you to find a Vietnamese community online?

Yes! The Internet rocks. It made it possible for me to get to know many Ngoc Lan’s fan around the world. Even though we have never met, they are like a big family to me. We even call iLoveNgocLan.com our home on the web.

On my own site, I have met quite a few fine Vietnamese folks who have great taste in music and I learn a lot from them.

Last questions, where do you see the Vietnamese community online heading? Have you noticed a bigger presence online? What’s in the future for you?

Obviously there are tons of Vietnamese organizations on the web but I think we are still behind with technology. I haven’t seen too many sites that use Web Standards and CSS. Fortunately, I see that in Tiếng Magazine, good job! I am glad that you have started on online mag gearing toward young Vietnamese American. I don’t see anything in the future for me as far as the Vietnamese Community.

Thanks for the interview, Donny.

As you already know how much I love 2pac’s music. Here is my tribute to Pac. Not only I love the way he flows but his inspirational messages as well. Here are some of my favorite at this time:

Not to disrespect my peoples but my poppa was a loser
Only plan he had for momma was to fuck her and abuse her.
– Still I Rise

Some say the blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice
I say the darker the flesh then the deeper the roots.
– Keep Ya Head Up

And since we all came from a woman
Got our name from a woman and our game from a woman
I wonder why we take from our women
Why we rape our women, do we hate our women?
I think it’s time to kill for our women
Time to heal our women, be real to our women
And if we don’t we’ll have a race of babies
That will hate the ladies, that make the babies
And since a man can’t make one
He has no right to tell a woman when and where to create one
So will the real men get up
I know you’re fed up ladies, but keep your head up
– Keep Ya Head Up

I ain’t a killer but don’t push me
Revenge is like the sweetest joy next to gettin pussy
– Hail Mary

I love Cali like I love woman
Cause every nigga in LA got a little bit of Thug in him
– Live & Die in LA

I see no changes all I see is racist faces
misplaced hate makes disgrace to races
We under I wonder what it takes to make this
one better place, let’s erase the wasted
– Changes