Replacing the water heater has been on my mind for about a year now. I don’t want it to bottom out and flood our basement. A few months ago, I asked around for a few quotes and the price range was between $4,000 to $6,000. Thirteen years ago, I had a water heater replacement for $600 or $800. I can’t remember the exact number, but $4,000 to $6,000 is a bit too much.

When Ricardo came by last Wednesday to fix the dripping pipes, I asked him about our water heater. He told me it still looks good. A water heater could last 20 to 30 years, but if I wanted a peace of mind, he can replace it for me. I just need to buy the tank and he only charges the installation. I also asked him about flushing it, but he said it is OK since our water heater is electric.

After thirteen years, I finally flushed our water heater. I didn’t even know about it until recently when my brother-in-law casually mentioned to me and I started to look into it. This morning, I decided give it a shot after watching this helpful YouTube video from AmplifyDIY. I followed his steps closely and I flushed it about six or seven times. I saw rust coming out of the pipe as I drained the water. I wonder if it should be replaced. I’ll call more companies for estimates.

While waiting for the water to drain, I came across The Grumpy Plumber who suggests that we should not have to flush our water heater. If I came across this video before I started the job, I would have just said, “Fuck it, let’s just leave it the way it is after thirteen years.” The process was actually quite simple to do. I might as well just do it every year to maintain its lifespan. Yes, another job added to the growing list of owning a house.

Ocean Vương’s poetic intricacy is beyond my comprehension for literary. What the fuck is “black as god’s periods?” Did he mean what I thought he meant? I wish someone could sit down with me and break down his poems line by line. One of his lines reads, “Because everyone knows yellow pain, pressed into American letters, turns to gold.” Yes, everyone knows, but me. I like the analogy though. I do understand a few lines: “Nobody’s free without breaking open.” And these:

I’m on the cliff of myself & these aren’t wings, they’re futures.

For as long as I can remember my body was the mayor’s nightmare.

The second line strikes the political chord. Of course, I knew these lines:

In my language, the one I recall now only by closing my eyes, the word for love is Yêu.

And the word for weakness is Yếu.

I like that Vương incorporates Vietnamese into his poetry. Without diacritics those two lines wouldn’t have worked. He even has a Vietnamese title for his book. He translates Time is a Mother as Thời gian là một người mẹ. If I get a chance to meet him, I wanted to know how he would translate: Time is a motherfucker.

I need to re-read these poems again in order to understand everything he has written; therefore, I bought myself a copy. Gotta support our Vietnamese-American talents.

The following post is literally about pain in the ass. Stop reading now if you want to spare the details. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Last weekend, I started to feel a sharp pain in my ass while camping. I wondered if a bug bit my ass while I was sleeping in the woods. I thought it might be the hot sauce I ate that burned my ass. I don’t know. I just hope it will go away because taking a shit is just painful.

When I reached down my hand and touched it, I could feel a lump on my left cheek. I tried to take a selfie of my ass, but I couldn’t. I am thinking of paying my family physician a visit, but the thought of her looking into my ass is just too embarrassing.

I am just going to wait it out for a few more days to see if I get any better. I don’t think I ever had any symptoms like this before. What a pain in the fucking ass.

I only hit the ice rink once this week. I am still working on my loop jump. I am not making much progress. A three-or-four-year-old girl skated by and gave me a compliment. I felt both embarrassed and inspired. I need to get back to the rink at least three times a week to get the loop jump down.

I have been back to the skatepark almost everyday. My pumps are getting better. I realized that I had been doing it all wrong. To pump, I just need to extend my body and keep skating to the top of the pipe. I jumped instead and that what how I lost my momentum. After I found my groove, I spent an hour pumping yesterday and my body was aching afterward. In the evening, I felt like I had no bone left in my body, but it was a good feeling.

Đạo is now taking over Đán’s Roces Aggressive Skates. He is breaking in and loving the skates. He can drop in with more confidence than before. He can also pump well. In contrast, Đán took over Đạo’s K2 Rollerblade. He is still a great skater. I am not sure if he wants to try skateboarding. I wanted to sign him up for a week-long skateboarding camp in the summer, but he is still unsure about it. He can if he wanted to, but I am not going to force him.

Đạo and Đán are willing to go to the skatepark with me and their reward would be a boba tea. I can accommodate that. I need to get Xuân back to the skatepark as well. He used to be good with the scooter, but he just stopped. The weather is so beautiful now and it would be awesome to be at the skatepark than to sit at home on their computers.

After discovering water dripping from the copper pipe from the main water line yesterday, I called Ricardo, a handyman I had hired in the past. He came by at noon today to do the job. While having him here, I might as well hire him to not only fix the leaked pipe, but also to replace another pipe with black tape wrapped around, and two water valves for the washing machine.

He charged me $400 for the entire job, which seemed reasonable. It took him about three hours. I also bought the two valves for $16. I observed him while he worked. The job didn’t seem to be that difficult. I probably can do it next time if I don’t have to do the soldering, or I should just learn soldering.

We talked quite a bit and drank some hard coffee. He couldn’t resist the caffeinated drink with a kick. He told me that he is getting his citizenship tomorrow after living 22 years in the U.S. He also shared me his DUI story. He had to pay the lawyer 30 grants to keep him in the U.S. He’s a funny, hard-working man.

I didn’t sleep too well last night for the obvious reason. Even though I knew it was not the end of the world, I still worried. I can’t help it. I am a born worrier. I am glad things are fixed. I need to go to sleep early tonight.

A little over a year ago, I fixed the Samsung dryer’s noise and heat element. In the last few weeks, the noise returned. Last night, I opened it up again and replaced the wheels that hold the bowl. Problem solved.

As I was putting back the dryer, I noticed a wet spot on the floor. The water dripped from the copper pipe from the main water line. I am not going to mess with the soldering; therefore, I called a handyman. He replaced our main water shutoff valve in the past and he did a good job. I’ll ask him to replace the water pipe going into the washer as well. It looks bad too.

Then I have more things to do in the coming weeks:

• Replace the toilet fill valve
• Fix the wood gate
• Wash the sidings
• Do something with the driveway

See why I hate owning a house? I didn’t have to do any of these when I lived in an apartment. I didn’t have to worry about the water flooding my basement or the wind knocking out the trim of the roof. Once the kids moved out, I am going to go back to renting a small space for me and my wife and we just travel most of the time.

My Dearest Đạo,

I can’t believe our oldest son is turning thirteen today. It still feels like yesterday your mom and I brought you home from the hospital. I could never forget the feeling of how to take care of a tiny baby. What if I just slipped my hands and dropped you to the ground. If you got sick in the middle of the night, what would I do? Fortunately you were strong and resilient. You didn’t give me the anxiety that I had forecasted.

Being the oldest kid is not easy. You have to bear the responsibility of being an oldest brother. You used to complain that life was unfair, but now you seem to accept your role. I can see you are trying your best to care for your younger brothers even though they can get under your skin. No matter what goes on, no matter what happens, just always remember you guys are brothers for life.

Now that you are entering middle school, your academics mattered. My only goal is for you to be happy and for me the only path to happiness that I know of is to keep up your grades. Once you take full responsibility for your education, your mother and I will give you the freedom to be more independent. We don’t want you to screw up your life. With your voracious reading and fast learning, school work should not be too difficult for you. You just need to put in the efforts.

For sports, you love skiing and you are damn good at it. You’ve pushed me to a higher level: double-black diamonds. Today is your last day of the Learn to Play hockey program. You can join a hockey team after today, but I am not sure if hockey is the right sport for you. You are not the aggressive type of player. If you want to join the team, however, we will be more than happy to support you. I am also glad to see you picking up rollerblading again and joining me in aggressive skating.

Soon you will a like a bird flying free from home, but for now, you are still under our wings and we do all we can for you. I enjoyed every moment we spent together. I love you, son, and happy birthday!

Love,
Dad

I hadn’t had the opportunity to spend one-on-one time with Đán, my second son, too often; therefore, I was looking forward to our weekend camping trip together with his Cub Scouts. It turned out to be an enjoyable and memorable experience—at least for me.

Located right next to the skatepark, the Lake Fairfax campsite was a perfect spot for us. The clean family bathrooms were the bonus. On Friday evening around 5:00 pm, Đán and I drove to the campsite to check in and to put up our tent. Thanks to my wife for buying a CORE 6 Person Instant Cabin Tent with Wall Organizer, the setup was intuitive and easy. As someone who can’t put anything together, I guarantee that setting up a CORE tent is stress-free. After getting ourselves situated and setting up the zipline, we headed over to the skatepark around 6:30 pm to rollerblade and grabbed a quick dinner.

We returned to the campsite around 8:30 pm to join other families. While the kids were taking turns on the zipline, the parents gathered around and chatted. The kids and parents headed to bed around 11 pm, but I still sat around and chatted with a leader and another father. Out of all the parents, these two are my type of guys. We didn’t go to bed until 3:00 am in the morning. At night, the temperature dropped and it was too cold to sleep even though we had sleeping bags. Đán came close to me and told me I could hold him if I wanted. I was surprised because he rarely showed his affections. I wrapped my arms around him for a bit, but then I turned to the opposite side so that we didn’t face each other. I didn’t bring my CPAP machine; therefore, I didn’t want to snore right next to him. Still, I couldn’t sleep much.

Saturday was a busy day for the Scouts. They had many activities including setting up the tent, starting the fire, and cooking contest. They had their leaders running all the programs. The parents just observed and cheered them on. While the kids were busy with their activities, I went over to the skatepark for 30 to 45 minutes each time. One of the parents volunteered to cook phở and grilled BBQ. She had always been a great cook; therefore; her food had always been delicious. This time was no exception.

Later in the afternoon, I saw Đán sitting by himself on a rock. He used a stick to tap on the rock. I asked him what he was doing. He told me that he was practicing piano. After a while I asked him if he wanted to join me at the skatepark. He didn’t want to, but he wanted boba tea. I told him to hop in and I took him to Kung Fu Tea, which was about two miles down the road. After that, we joined the pack for dinner. The Scouts had more activities. Because I couldn’t sleep much the night before, I was sleepy and exhausted from skating. I went into our tent to rest and to take a quick nap. The kids were done around 9 something. We hung out for a bit and went to sleep around 11 pm.

We woke up on Sunday, ate breakfast, broke down our tents, joined the closing ceremony, cleaned up our area, then headed out around 10 am. Đán and I stopped by the skatepark before heading home. It was a great trip because we spent time outdoors and close to nature rather than sitting at home on our digital devices. Đán participated in all the activities and he made friends with his group, but he also seemed to be a bit distant at times.

Without his siblings, Đán behaved much better. I was so fed up with his constant fights with Đạo and Xuân. They got on each other’s nerves every five minutes. No matter how many times I explained to them the importance of bonding and getting along with each other, they never seemed to register. I was always upset and irritated to hear them insulting each other and to see them punching one another. At times, I wanted to beat some sense into them, but I knew I couldn’t. Banning them from their digital devices was my only form of punishment. When I was their age, I didn’t spend much time with my sister because she was already way older than me. On occasions she would slap me for doing something wrong. We didn’t have much memories together.

Forty-four years already. Time is moving fast, but life is great. I can’t complain. My wife and I are tighter than before. I still enjoy spending time with my kids. My career is stable for the moment. My health is still decent. I am more active now with skiing and skating. I still read voraciously. I still blog like words just roll off my fingers.

I am still a deeply flawed human being. I have my share of obsessions and even addictions. I am working toward being positive and optimistic. I need to let go of my worries. I want to have more compassion and empathy. I want to be less selfish and more self-control. I want to be more social and to reach out more to friends.

Life is too damn short. I need to treasure every moment of it. I want to live my life without regrets and without looking back to the past. Whatever mistakes I had made in the past, I cannot go back to change them. I can only move forward. I can’t bring my parents back. I can only care for my family and the people who care for me. I can only tend to matters within my control. Nothing else matters.

Adam Phan was my web design student and teacher assistant. He’s a charming and caring guy. In a recent fire incident, Adam lost his home and his belongings. He shares:

To be honest, I’m not all right as I witness my home and everything I’ve worked for go up in flames. It was traumatic and surreal. When I was finally able to walk up to my apartment building, it did not look anything like the home I had known.

It was dark, heavy with smoke and debris. My friend and I were escorted by some firemen up to the building. My building looked like a bomb had gone off in it. Inches of water mixed with wet drywall, insulation, burnt cinders and neighbors’ belongings. And when it came to my apartment—it was something out of a horror film. I woke up to a beautiful condo loft home and came back to a burnt down, flooded shell.

If you can, please help him out.