Pain in the Ass

The following post is literally about pain in the ass. Stop reading now if you want to spare the details. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Last weekend, I started to feel a sharp pain in my ass while camping. I wondered if a bug bit my ass while I was sleeping in the woods. I thought it might be the hot sauce I ate that burned my ass. I don’t know. I just hope it will go away because taking a shit is just painful.

When I reached down my hand and touched it, I could feel a lump on my left cheek. I tried to take a selfie of my ass, but I couldn’t. I am thinking of paying my family physician a visit, but the thought of her looking into my ass is just too embarrassing.

I am just going to wait it out for a few more days to see if I get any better. I don’t think I ever had any symptoms like this before. What a pain in the fucking ass.