I love all my sons, but I worry about Đán the most. He always occupies my mind. As my wife and I have decided to give the kids a break from their digital devices for the summer, Đán is not coping too well without his PC. While Đạo, Xuân, and Vương find something else to play, he finds ways to get under their skin. Without video games, he plays the piano really fast or just slamming the keys at maximum volume to drive everyone nuts. When he is not irritating his brothers or getting on our nerves, he just withdraws and thinks about video games. He doesn’t want to do anything else. No skating. No rollerblading. No reading. None.

He has all the behaviors of ADHD. He also has some serious skin issues. Vitiligo seems to affect his confidence. He wears long sleeves and pants to cover his body even in the summer heat. We try to get him to wear short sleeves and shorts, but then again, he should wear long clothes to protect his skin. Like me, he is a keloid former and he already has a thick one on his elbow when he scraped himself from rollerblading. He is only ten years old and already developing keloids. That’s not a good sign at such an early age. He could get worse if he is not being careful with his skin. Any cuts or scratches could lead into keloids. That was part of the reason I was blowing up when his cousin scratched him. I hope those scratches won’t turn into keloids.

He is still a fun, silly kid and full of life. I hope he continues to play the piano to keep himself focused. I know he will turn out OK, but I just can’t help worrying about him. The hardest part about being a parent is that you have the responsibility of another human being.

Once in a while, the beast in me came out. I burned bridges and destroyed relationships, but I couldn’t tame the beast. I rather let it all out than keep holding on to it. Once I get it out of my system, I can move on. Do I regret it? No. Should I have handled the situation differently? Probably.

How do I avoid future conflicts and confrontations? I don’t know. I don’t want to keep things inside my head; therefore, I speak my mind. It is easier to just let it out on the page like this or to the people I never have to deal with again. It is much harder when I have to to face the people days in and days out. I am stuck inside the bubbles and they will pop eventually. I need to get my head out of the bubbles.

Is life complicated or am I making myself complicated as I grow old and grumpy? Maybe it’s the latter. Maybe it was overblown. Whatever the case, the beast is already out and I can’t take it back. I just need to get past it and move forward. Life’s a beast and I can’t hide it. I have go face it straight on.

A week before the kids’ summer started, my wife announced that the boys needed to take a break from their screen for the summer. Even though I supported her decision all the way, she had absolute power in this house. My soul had crushed whenever I turned around and they would be sitting in front of their screens. When I asked Đạo and Đán to go to the skatepark, they acted like I asked them to commit a crime even though I would reward them afterward with boba tea. Even Xuân and Vương would rather sit in front of their iPads than run around the playground. I tried banning them from their screens, but my words had no power. My wife’s words, on the other hand, were rules the kids had to follow.

As soon as the summer began, we took a vacation in Wildwood. With the beach, boardwalk, arcades, and other activities, they were fine without their device. After the vacation, the addiction kicked in. Đán, in particular, had been miserable. He couldn’t function without having access to his computer. He couldn’t do anything during the day and couldn’t sleep during the night. He started thinking of ways to gain back his screen access. He started to write down his plans on his blog using my laptop. His “Remmus” (Summer backward) series is hilarious. He is allowed to write whatever is on his mind—even about his parents.

Without video games, he is bored out of his mind; therefore, he is picking up writing. The more he practices, the better he gets. He managed to get decent ratings in fourth grade, but he could use some help. In July, he and Xuân will start the Summer Olympians Aspire and Reach (SOAR) program. I am so glad that they were invited to take summer school. They definitely need all the help they can get. I hope they will have better focus on improving their math and language skills since they don’t have any distraction from their screens.

My ice skating progress is stalling. I still can’t accomplish my flip and loop jumps. I am about to hit the reset button and go back from the beginning to relearn all the techniques the correct way. I just plowed through them the first time and now I am stuck. It’s time for me to let it go. My kids have moved on a long time ago. They don’t even want to skate around the rink for fun.

I am not making much progress in rollerblading either. My power stops were good, but they caused my wheels to worn out. I can’t find the wheels for my Flying Eagle aggressive skates to replace. I might just look into getting a new pair either USD Sway or Roces. I am learning to do fakies and turns on the quarter pipes. The other day, I watched a guy skated effortlessly around the bowl. He just jumped into the ramp without coping and he did a fakie from the high bowl with ease. I was in awe. I’ll get to his level one day. For now, I am just enjoying what I have accomplished up to this point. My kids aren’t interested in rollerblade anymore despite my attempt to get them to the skate parks.

My kids are looking forward to skiing though. My wife and I started to buy gears for them. Since I can now tuning up our skis in our basement, we can get used skis that are still in good conditions. I have sharpened, fixed the bases, and waxed our our skis. Once the winter arrives, we’ll be able to hit the slopes.

I bought Đán a used snowboard. The board and the bindings appear to be in good shape; therefore, I am not sure why the seller only listed it for $35. All I need to do now is tuning it up and getting him a new pair of boots. The board is a bit heavy. I am not sure if Đán can handle it. We’ll see!

The first time I watched Ngọc Hương’s video, “Mưa Trên Biển Vắng,” I flipped the fuck out, just as I did thirty years ago when I first heard Ngọc Lan’s voice. In Ngọc Lan’s case, I was amazed. In Ngọc Hương’s case, I was shocked. From the voice to the curly hair to the outfit, Ngọc Hương struck unmistakably resemblances of Ngọc Lan. I didn’t know anything about Ngọc Hương. I had no idea who she was. She loves Ngọc Lan even more than the dedicated fans at iLoveNgocLan.com.

Last week, I watched Ngọc Hương perform as a guest singer on Lung Tung Xèng just to hear her in conversations. The whole time I had the impression that she played Ngọc Lan’s character. From the soft tone to the sweet talk, she seemed to have impersonated Ngọc Lan. If someone were to make a film about Ngọc Lan, Ngọc Hương would be perfect for the part—similar to how Jamie Foxx played Ray Charles and won an Academic Award for his portrayal of the iconic soul singer.

I am curious if Ngọc Hương steps out of the Ngọc Lan character in her real life or if she has embedded herself deep into her idol. Whatever the case, I have tremendous respect and admiration for her courage. I am sure she gets tons of criticism for trying to be like one of the most beloved Vietnamese singers of all time. It is obvious that Ngọc Hương will never live up to Ngọc Lan’s stature. Even she admitted on Lung Tung Xèng that she can’t be the second version of Ngọc Lan. Her technique is nowhere near Ngọc Lan. From her phrasing to her enunciation to her breath control, Ngọc Lan’s technique was to reveal no technicalities. She has mastered the art of natural expression in her singing similar to Billie Holiday even though the two were a world apart in their styles and repertoires.

As with Ngọc Lan, Billie Holiday has left a profound influence on singers long after she has passed and Madeleine Peyroux is one of them. In the early days of her career, Peyroux channeled Lady Day down to the vibratoless technique and off-key singing. Over time however, Peyroux has escaped Lady Day’s towering shadow and found her own voice. I hope Ngọc Hương will also find her own path as she develops her singing, style, and sensibility.

Last Saturday, the alarm from our 2011 Toyota Sienna went off at 7 pm, 12 am, and 3 am. I lost my sleep and decided to find a fix for it. I searched up YouTube and found this video, which seemed to have similar issue with a 2011 Toyota Sienna. The sensor right underneath the hood latch was clogged up; therefore, it triggered the alarm. The fix was to clean the latch.

Products:

• Engine Degreaser: $5
• Brake Cleaner: $5

I cleaned the latch on Sunday morning. The alarm hasn’t gone off since. I hope that did it.

I recently discovered that I have been wearing wrong shoe size all my life. Since I preferred to have some room in my toes, I had always pick size 8 (US), but my actual size is 6.5 (US). Now that I am used to skating shoes, my regular shoes feel weird. A few weeks ago, I bought a new pair of Adidas running shoes size 7 to replace my size-8 pair. Even then it still feels roomy. I took an audit of all my shoes and put together this page as a record for me to refer back.

Shoes

• 2025 Rossignol Primacy Power Focus Men’s Snowboard Boots: ($163). Bought it for Đán on September 9, 2025. It is 9 out of 10 for stiffness. If he can’t use it, I will.
• 2021 DC Men’s Laced Lace Snowboard Boots: ($164). Bought this pair on December 6, 2023. Good for snowboarding.
• Adidas Unisex-Adult Goletto VIII Firm Ground Soccer Shoe: 7 US ($40). I want to get back to playing soccer.
• Lange RX 120 Ski Boots: 25.5 Mondo ($355) I bought this pair brand new. I am loving it.
• 2025 Burton Smalls BOA: 6K ($150). Bought this pair on April 15, 2025 for Xuân.

Skates

• Black & Blue Them 909 Marius Gaile Complete Pro Roller Blades: Size Small = 7/8 US ($212 including shipping). Bought this pair on December 10, 2023. I enjoy it.
• Epic Skates 125mm Engage 3-Wheel Inline Speed Skates: 7 US ($93). Bought this pair on May 14, 2025.
• YF YouFu 110mm Three-Wheel Inline Skates: 7 US, 25cm ($89). I use this pair to skate on bike trails or boardwalk.
• Jackson Ultima Ice Skates Freestyle Fusion: 6.5 US, 39.5 EU ($100). This pair fits really well. I still wear this for ice skating.
• Bauer S29 Hockey Skates: 5.5D US ($65). This is a junior pair. It felt tight on me. I haven’t skated in it ever since I switched to my figure skates. I passed it on to Đạo.

Skis

• 2020 Rossignol Experience 88 TI Men’s Skis 159cm + Look SPX 12 Dual WTR Bindings ($255). Bought this new pair on December 24, 2023)
• 2025 Atomic Maverick 86 C Skis ​(161cm) + Marker M10 GripWalk Bindings ($415). Bought this pair on January 11, 2025 for Ðạo

Snowboards

• 2023 Salomon Super 8: 154cm ($265). Bought this brand new board. I can’t wait to ride it in winter 2023-2024.
• 2020 Rome Bindings United-G1 Black-S: ($110). Size small (Size S or M/L fits shoe size 7). It is comfortable to strap on.
• 2025 Public Research: 154cm ($350). Bought this board on May 5, 2025 for Đán.
• 2022-2023 Salomon Rhythm Snowboard bindings ($85). (Size S). Đán is using it.
• 2008 Burton White Collection: 143cm. Đán is using it.
• 2025 Jones Youth Prodigy: 140cm ($220). Bought this for Xuân on April 15, 2025.
• 2025 Nidecker Youth Prime Bindings: ($100) Bought it for Xuân.

Protective Gears

Protective gears are very important for safety. I love these sports, but I can’t afford to take the risk.

• Soared 3D Protection Hip Butt EVA Padded Short Pants (Large) ($11)
• Relaxyee: Protective Padded Shorts (X-Large) ($17)
• 187 Killer Pads Skateboarding Knee Pads, Elbow Pads, and Wrist Guards (Medium) ($37)
• Helmet: 22″ – 23″ (56 – 58cm)
• Wrist: 7″ – 8″
• Knee: 14″ – 16″
• Elbow: 10″ – 11″

Ex-Gears

• Adidas Running Shoes: 7 US. The actual size should be 6.5. My everyday shoes.
• 2019 ThirtyTwo Zephyr Snowboard Boots: 7 US ($80). Resold it on December 16, 2024
• Bodyprox Protective Padded Shorts (Large) ($37)
• 2023 Fischer RC Fire SLR Pro Skis (155cm) with RS 9 SLR Bindings: ($215) Bought this brand new. (I left and lost this pair at Stowe Mountain Resort on December 17, 2023 after just 4 runs total.)
• Flying Eagle Aggressive Skates: 39-40 EU ($93). This pair fits perfect. Despite the tiny coping, I love it to blade around skateparks. (Retired this pair on December 16, 2023)
• Rollerblade Zetrablade: 8 (US). This was my first pair to learn rollerblade. I had a lot of fun with it even though size 8 US was a bit too big for me.
• Head XENON Xi 5.0 (2008): 149cm. I loved this pair. Despite its used condition, it took me from green all the way up to double black diamond in winter 2021-2022.
• K2 Apache Sabre 2008 (119-72-103): 153cm. I also bought this pair used. It works perfectly. It was my go-to pair for winter 2022-2023
• Capita Indoor Survival (2006): 156cm. This was my learning board in winter 2022-2023.
• Lange Comp 80 Team Ski Boots: 7-7.5 (US). I used this pair to learn skiing in winter 2022-2023.
• Nordica Doberman WC EDIT 130 Race Ski Boots: 8 (US). Bought this used, but way too stiff for me and my son.
• Atomic Vantage 97 Ti Skis (2019): 172cm. This pair was way too long for me.
• K2 Escape Jr. 136cm Skis with Marker M450 Bindings. This was a junior pair. Bought it used and never used it.

I discovered David Sedaris about 20 years ago when I worked at Vassar College. He came to campus to read his essays. I didn’t understand why he was such a big deal; therefore, I picked up his books whenever I could. Even when I was reading his books on paper, I could only get a few jokes here and there. I didn’t get the full picture.

Now reading his latest book, Happy-Go-Lucky, I have a better grasp of his writing. The stories sound familiar. I then realized that I had read some of them in The New Yorker. His essays are filled with personal stories. He writes, “And there’s no point in me doing anything if I can’t write about it.” From his father to his siblings to his partners, he puts everything and everyone on the page. Even when someone is rude to him, he can write about it instead of confronting the person.

As a blogger myself, I appreciate seeing him putting himself out there and committing everything to paper even when he uses the bathroom or has sex. With humor, humility, and honesty, this collection of personal essays is a riveting read.

We’re half way through our first summer vacation this week in Wildwood. With one grandma, three couples of parents, and eight boys living under one roof, the place can be quite chaotic with activities.

Everyday we wake up around eight or nine, eat breakfast, then bike on the boardwalk—I rollerblade instead. We ride from one end of the boardwalk to the other and stop at the playground for an hour. We hit the arcade until noon before heading back to the rental house.

The adults prepare the food while the boys watch TV or play with each other. The kids have agreed to no digital devices during vacation. I keep my phone in my room so that I don’t pull it out in the living room. Some adults still use their phone in front of the kids. Somehow the rule doesn’t apply to adults. After lunch, some kids take naps, some kids don’t. They watch TV together and eat tons of snacks. I read and take a quick nap before heading to the skatepark. No kids want to join me unless I make Đạo and Đán come along.

Around four or five in the evening we hit the beach, which is the kids’ favorite activities. We played in the water and on the sand until seven in the evening. We head back home to take a bath. We have dinner together and relax until ten or eleven.

That’s pretty much how we spend our vacation days. As long as I have my books, my skates, and my liquors, I am enjoying my time with the big group as well as with myself.

With the exception of Vương, the boys are older now and they can do things for themselves. Especially with the older kids like Đạo and Đán, they can grab their own food or even make their own breakfast. They know how to fry eggs and make instant noodles in the morning. Of course, I can do everything for them, but I want them to be more independent. I don’t want to be the type of parents who do everything for their kids, especially with small tasks they can do themselves. Rising boys in particular, I don’t want them to get used to getting served. Of course, all mothers love their children and they don’t mind making the food and serving their kids. The kids just have to sit their asses on the chair and the food is ready. They don’t even have to do a thing. That’s when we set the wrong expectation. Of course what other parents do for their kids is none of my business, but I keep seeing the cycle repeating in Vietnamese families. Boys and men get served by mothers and wives.

Just a few years ago, I only read none-fiction books because I wanted to learn the truth and not made-up stories. When I started to read Jessamine Chan’s The School for Good Mothers, I find the the opening scene absurd and over the top. The book begins with Frida, a single Asian-American mother, who left her baby daughter alone at home for two hours. One of her neighbors reported the incident to Child Protective Services. Frida lost custody of her daughter and was sent to school for one year to learn to be a good mother. Yet as overdramatic as it sounds, Chan takes readers into a terrifying dystopian society for mothers. Chan’s storytelling is chillingly moving and her writing captures the art of fiction. I highly recommend it.