Thế là 5 năm từ khi ba tôi ra đi. Lần cuối cùng tôi gặp lại ông là mùa hè năm 2017. Vậy là đã 8 năm rồi tôi chưa trở lại quê nhà.

Lúc 11 tuổi, tôi đã xa ba sống nơi xứ lạ quê người. Không có ba bên cạnh, tôi phải tự đối phó với những sóng gió trong cuộc sống. Dĩ nhiên, mẹ vẫn lo đầy đủ cho tôi ăn học, nhưng tôi vẫn thiếu sự cứng rắn của người đàn ông. Trong tình cảm và luôn cả trong cảm xúc, tôi rất yếu đuối.

Ba có nỗi khổ riêng của ông nhưng ông không hề chia sẻ. Một mình ba gánh chịu. Những ngày cuối đời của ông, tôi biết ông đau đớn lắm nhưng mỗi khi nói chuyện với tôi, ba lại lẩn tránh không muốn cho tôi biết nỗi đau của ông.

Giờ đây tôi cũng đã làm cha. Tôi lại suy nghĩ về ông rất nhiều. Làm cha quả thật không dễ dàng. Mỗi lần thấy con mình vấp ngã hay bị chấn thương, tôi đau cả ruột gan. Chỉ vì sợ tương lai con khổ sở, tôi đã lo lắng từng phút từng giây. Không biết là tôi không tin tưởng vào mấy đứa con của mình hay tôi không tin tưởng vào chính mình.

Có lẽ ba đã tin tưởng tôi. Cho tôi sự tự lập từ nhỏ. Có chuyện gì xảy ra tôi cũng phải tự lo cho mình. Tôi không tài giỏi nhưng tôi đã sống sót được nên người. Tôi không giàu sang nhưng cuộc sống của tôi cũng không phải khổ cực. Những gì tôi có được cũng do hai bàn tay tôi tạo nên mà không phải nhờ vả vào ai.

Nhìn lại đoạn đường tôi đã đi qua. Tuy có nhiều sai lầm và cũng có nhiều lỗi lầm, tôi không hối hận. Cho dù hoàn cảnh nào hoặc lý do nào đã khiến hai cha sống ở hai phương trời cách biệt và giờ đây kẻ mất người còn, tình cha con vẫn luôn tồn tại trong tôi.

Ngày xưa mẹ dạy tôi, “Lời chào cao hơn mâm cỗ”. Lời nói không mất tiền mua. Một câu hỏi thăm đâu có khó khăn. Một lời nói trấn an đâu có mất mát gì. Dĩ nhiên, lời nói phải đi với tấm lòng.

Với những người không có tâm hoặc không quan tâm thì cũng không đáng buồn và cũng không đáng tiếc. Tôi không phải là thần thánh nên tôi không rộng lượng, không cao cả, cũng không quân tử. Ngược lại, tôi cũng không tồi tệ, không hèn hạ, và cũng không tiểu nhân. Tôi luôn cố gắng sống đúng với lòng mình và sống công bình.

Giữa tình người với tình người, tôi luôn đối xử sao cho êm đẹp và hòa đồng. Với tôi, một câu nhẹ chín câu lành và sống trên đời sống cần có ba thứ phải biết: Biết ơn, biết lỗi, và biết điều.

And if ya don’t know, now ya know!

When Đán and Xuân first started piano lessons three years ago, we didn’t know if they would commit to it. We didn’t buy a piano. We hauled a free electric one from a family down a few blocks from us. The piano was made in Korea; therefore, everything was written in Korean. It needed a giant electric converter that was heavy and as big as a shoebox.

Both Đán and Xuân played well in the beginning. They picked up quickly and played “Ode to Joy” beautifully. Then the novelty wore off and they started to drag their fingers. They didn’t bother to practice. They took three to four weeks to play one tune. They refused to perform at the recital.

Ðán blamed his setback on the piano. He complained that the pedals weren’t working and some of the keys didn’t produce any sound. He wanted a real acoustic piano, not an electric one. I told him the story of one of the renowned Vietnamese composers and songwriters. When he was learning to play piano, his family couldn’t afford one. He drew the keys on cardboards and played with the sounds in his head. If Nguyễn Ánh 9 managed to do that and became one of Vietnamese beloved musicians, Trương Công Đán can do that too if he puts his heart into it.

Every time Đán asked for a new piano, I would repeat that story. We did that for almost a year. I wanted to know if he would continue to take piano lessons or if would just quit like the rest of the activities he started and gave up. Even though he didn’t want to perform due to stage fright, he continued to take lessons. We had several conversations about it and he convinced me that piano lessons were a way for him to relax. He wanted to play for himself instead of for others. I was cool with it. I no longer required him to perform. I don’t even ask him to practice.

Xuân still performed at the recitals. He struggled as the lessons got more challenging. He didn’t practice much either. Nevertheless, he hasn’t quit. As long as we can afford these private lessons, we are willing to provide them the opportunities. We hope that they’ll appreciate them later on. That’s all we can hope for.

A few weeks ago, I decided to just get a decent piano off Facebook Marketplace. I obviously knew nothing about piano and almost got scammed. I reached out to our kids’ instructor. He even drove to the seller’s house to inspect the instrument and tested out the keys. With his help, we picked up a Kawai K-200 upright. He also put us in contact with the mover company that he trusted. The piano is still in great condition. We couldn’t have done it without his help. We appreciated his support.

As I have suspected, a better piano doesn’t mean more practice. I haven’t seen them sit down to practice unless their mom started to yell at them. I am done with constantly having to remind them to practice. I just enjoy having a gorgeous piano sitting in our living room.

It’s hard to believe that my final thesis is 10 years old today. To celebrate this special occasion, I wrote about “A Decade of Vietnamese Typography.”

Tonight I have to break out a bottle of the Hakushu to celebrate Chihiro Yamanaka’s 20th anniversary with Blue Note. Apparently Ms. Yamanaka has been with the label for two decades and they put out a double-disc of her Best 2005 – 2025.

Sipping the 12-year aged whisky and listening to Ms. Yamanaka putting her magic fingers on “Maple Leaf Rag” take me back to the early days of jazz. Scott Joplin’s “Maple Leaf Rag” was a test piece for ragtime pianists. The tune requires technical skills of playing each hand independently together. While the left hand plays stride, the right hand plays syncopation. With Yoshi Waki on bass and John Davis on drums holding down the rhythm section, Yamanaka got her rag on.

“Hanon Twist” is another speedy piece and Yamanaka demonstrates her virtuosic dexterity. Her execution is breathtaking. “Giant Steps” is a classic jazz standard and it is interesting that she chooses to play it with an electric keyboard. I still prefer the grand piano vibe though. With The Beatles’ “Yesterday,” they give it an uptempo Bollywood flavor. Yamanaka plays the original melody to give a familiar vibe, but the real deal is when she launches into her improvisation.

As a classically trained pianist, of course, she has to include some classical pieces such as “Yagibushi” and “Liebesträume No.3.” I must confess. I don’t know much about classical music, but I am down with these types of classic-meets-jazz concoctions.

In addition to the blazing-fast pieces, the album features a handful of relaxing recordings including the intoxicating blues, “Stranger” and “You Are Too Beautiful” so I can enjoy sipping the Hakushu.

I informed my wife that one day I will travel to Japan so I can snowboard all day then kick back in the evening drinking Japanese whisky and listening to jazz all night. Of course, I would love to have her by my side.

Start brainstorming colleges. Keep your grades up! Get involved in your passions

Students, the college application process should be fun and exciting! Please be mindful that everyone approaches this process differently. Be kind to yourself and your peers. We are all trying our best!

Talk about finances. Stay on top of Deadlines. Focus on your own process. Have fun

Parents, this is one of the most stressful processes your children have ever gone through. Please be their biggest cheerleader and supporter. Comparing your child to others or putting undue pressure on them is not helpful during their search. Every student is different and has a different school they will call home.

FAFSA – Free Application for Federal Student Aid

• Determine need-based aid
• Federal Subsidized Loans
• Federal Unsubsidized Loans
• Parent-Plus Loan

Scholarships

• Merit-Scholarships from Colleges Students do not pay these back Apply, apply, apply!
• Scholarships.com
• Fastweb.com

Private Loans

Private loans are an option, but please be mindful they often come with incredibly high interest rates. You should try to avoid these if at all possible.

Discuss Finances Early and Often

• College is expensive.
• Parents and students need to have open and honest communication about finances.
• Parents, whatever you feel you can contribute to college, if anything needs to be discussed. Signing up for loans is easy, paying it back post-graduation is very hard.
• You do not want your student falling in love with a school that is not financially feasible

Last Friday, I went to Costco and picked up a cardboard representation of a JBL Live 675NC wireless headphone for $60 (after $40 off). After paying for it, I went to the merchandise-pickup location to swap the cardboard for the actual product. An employee gave me a box with white paper wrapped around it.

When I got home, I ripped off the white paper and the box revealed the Sony WH1000XM5/SA box, which cost $280 (after $70 off). It was obviously a mistake. Should I keep it or should I return it? I asked my kids to see what they would do. One of them suggested I should keep it while the rest of my kids and my wife suggested that I should do the right thing.

I just wanted to see how well we raised our kids. Costco probably couldn’t care less, but the employee could be in trouble for his mistake. Yesterday, I went back to make the corrections. They made me wait so they could track down who made the mistake. In addition, they checked the video recording to make sure I was not stealing it.

This is your moment to show off your personality! Here are a few tips and tricks for tackling the college essay:

• Stay away from heavy imagery
• Every word in the essay must be necessary
• DO NOT stress about a topic
• Focus on yourself and your story
• Think about the qualities colleges want on their campus
• If you aren’t funny normally, don’t try humor in your college essays
• You do not need to be the most unique, you just need to be genuine!
• This essay is NOT going to make or break your future, don’t give it that power
• Get the essay proofread — Grammarly is not enough
• “Cliche” topics are not off limits, your story is your story
• If you are stuck, just write something, the rest will come
• BEWARE: Trauma-dumping – tread carefully!

Around this time of the year, I like to tune into jazz. On Saturday, I woke up early to drive an hour and a half to Whitetail to attend the Returning Instructor Meeting. The weather was wet and rainy. The fragrance of freshly brewed coffee permeated inside my car. I fired up Spotify and searched for the latest jazz releases. Chihiro Yamanaka’s Ooh-La-La caught my attention.

The album kicks off with an uptempo, bop-driven rendition of César Camargo Mariano’s “Curumim.” After a brief trio intro, Yamanaka launched into a virtuosic piano solo. I didn’t know who Yamanaka was, but I knew immediately that my car ride would be wonderful. With “Desafinado,” the rhythm section (John Davis on drums and Yoshi Waki on bass) keeps the Brazilian groove at a much faster pace while Yamanaka improvises on her piano, which showcases her classical chops.

With Stevie Wonder’s “You Are the Sunshine of My Life,” the trio turns to swing, which gives the vibe of the winter holidays. With Milton Nascimento’s “Vera Cruz” Yamanaka switches to an electric keyboard for some funk-jazz flavor. Yamanaka’s embrace of versatility makes her a fascinating artist.

Not just Yamanaka, but I had listened to quite a bit of talented Japanese jazz artists including Hiromi, Keiko Matsui, and Toshiko Akiyoshi. Japan is really into jazz. I have so much for Japanese culture. They keep their traditions, but they also push forward with innovations. They take things from the West and make them their own. They have done it with whiskey, snowboarding, and, of course, jazz. They don’t cut corners. They put out quality products.

I enjoyed Ooh-La-La in its entirety. I will definitely look for more jazz albums from Chihiro Yamanaka.

• Transcript
• Essays (650 words. Focus on yourself)
• SAT/ACT (optional)
• Part-Time Job
• Volunteering
• Extracurriculars
• Recommendation Letters (2 teachers)
• School Profile
• Awards
• Everything Else…