On Saturday, I had a Zoom call with an old friend from elementary school. We discussed business briefly and then we got personal. We brought back so many good old memories. Out of all the female friends I had, she was my closest. I met her through our ESL class when I was in sixth grade and she was in fifth.

Our friendship kicked up a notch when we went to junior high together. We didn’t hang out much but we spent hours and hours on the phone. On heavy snow days when schools closed, I was stuck in the little apartment and bored out of my mind. Our phone conversations kept me alive. She was usually the one who made the call because her parents were very strict. They didn’t want any boy calling their home. There were days I waited by the phone and hoped to hear her voice.

If someone were willing to spend that much time talking to me, even when her parents didn’t allow her to, there must be something special. Then I started to wonder if our connection could move beyond the friend zone. The more I thought about it, I started to develop a crush on her. It was not just any ordinary crush I had in the past up to that point. I fell for her voice and her academic-driven. She was a straight A’s student throughout junior high. Even though I couldn’t catch her level of achievement, I made it to the honor roll. I was proud to have my name listed underneath hers on the school’s bulletin board.

When I finally worked up the courage to confess to her over the phone, she turned me down gently. We remained friends, but the rejection stung. I was too embarrassed to face her. When I moved to high school, we drifted further apart. I started hanging out with the new high school friends. I blended in well with other Vietnamese students in the Oriental Club (an unfortunate name). The Vietnamese boys bonded over cars, girls, and gambling. We started to cut school more regularly.

We met up every morning in the school cafeteria for breakfast. We hated the food they served; therefore, we decided to cut school and raced each other at 90 to 100 miles per hour on the freeway to Chinatown in Philly for dim sum. Then there were days we just cut school and played Tiếng Lên (a four-player card game) for a buck or two at a friend’s house. We chose his house because both of his parents weren’t home and they lived a block from our school.

Needless to say my grades were slipping. I went from A’s and B’s to C’s, D’s, and F’s. My senior year was the worst. I failed AP calculus, chemistry, and social study. Somehow I had enough credits to graduate. I was also fortunate that La Salle University had already accepted me early into my senior year.

In retrospect, my poor mother shed so many tears during my high school years. I am so sorry, mama. I was heading in the wrong direction. I spent more time partying than schooling. Fortunately, two incidents had turned me around. I dated the wrong girl. She cheated on me and broke my heart. One of my close friends, whose house we used to gamble in, died from drowning. We were on the same boat.

In our recent conversation, my friend pointed out that she was disappointed to see the change in me in high school. Somehow we had a few classes together, but we were not connected like we used to in junior high. Maybe my mind was somewhere else.

One incident broke our friendship. The day before our chemistry final exam, we studied together at her house until the wee hours. She explained all the formulas to me, but I kept yawning. I was exhausted and sleepy. I tried my best, but I had no clue what she was talking about. We took the final exam the next day. She aced it and I failed. She felt bad for me, but I expected it.

Several days later, we met up in the Oriental Club. One of my best friends who she also knew from junior high and I were making jokes. I can’t recall the exact context, but I was sarcastically referring her as “con quỷ,” which meant “a witch” and not “a bitch.” The next day, her boyfriend at the time who was also one of my friends in the club confronted me. He told me that I called his girlfriend a bitch because I was jealous that she scored higher than me on the chemistry final exam.

I was shocked. I explained to him that I did not call her “a bitch” and saying that I was jealous of her for doing well on the final exam was absurd. She was doing me a favor to help me get a better test score. I should have thanked her instead of being jealous of her. If there was any jealousy, I should have been jealous of him instead because he won her heart. That seemed to get the message across. We were cool about it.

I wanted to reach out to her to apologize. It was a misunderstanding and I made a bad joke. I shouldn’t have called her “a witch” for whatever reason I could not recall. I was disappointed that she didn’t come to me about it. We could have addressed it directly through our friendship. When she hinted at the incident in our recent conversation, I knew immediately what she was talking about. I explained the misunderstanding and I apologized. I hope we’re on good terms now.

She is happily married with a child and, as I had predicted, very successful. I am also content with my own family. She had confessed that she had a crush on me as well in those junior-high years, but there was a third party involved, which I had no clue until now. Twenty-some years later is a bit too late. I suppose everything happened for a reason. I just hope that we can rekindle our friendship after all.

I went to the Vietnamese temple to burn a few incense sticks for my mom on Mother’s Day. After praying and chanting, the monk took a few minutes to talk about COVID-19. He gave logical reasons for masking and vaccination. Masking protects ourselves and others from getting infected. Vaccination prevents the virus and stops the spread.

From what we had been through in the past year, I thought he was preaching to the choir. I estimated that of the twenty plus people attending the service, most, if not all, had at least one dose of vaccine. Then a guy (probably in his early 50s) interjected. He asked if the monk had been vaccinated even though the monk just said he had. He advised the monk that he should not have been vaccinated. The monk asked if anyone else didn’t believe in vaccination. No one raised his or her hand. The monk should have asked how many had vaccinated already.

The guy then explained that he had done thorough research on this topic. He claimed that the media had created this virus in China and they had taken over the White House. If we continued to listen to the media and get vaccinated, we would be influenced by the Chinese and the Democrats. The monk responded to the guy’s conspiracy theory that he didn’t take vaccination as political. If he got sick, he would take medication. He trusted doctors and scientists. He was vaccinated to protect himself and the people around him.

The monk then pointed to the older monk who is 83 years old. He said that the senior monk didn’t want to be vaccinated at first due to his age, but he decided to do it because he wanted people to attend the temple. I cheered, “Thank you, thầy” and clapped my hands. Some people joined in.

As folks gathered around the altar to pray for their loved ones, I took off because the anti-vaxxer didn’t wear his mask. Even though I was fully vaccinated, I didn’t want to catch his stupidity.

I received my second dose of Pfizer on Wednesday afternoon. Other than a sore arm, I felt fine. I went back home to work and then went ice skating in the evening. I wanted to get some practice before my test next Tuesday, but I couldn’t do much. All the turning made me dizzy.

I went to bed early, but then I had a terrible dream. My wife was iced cold. Then she pulled the Bill-and-Melinda shit on me. She wanted to get divorce because she can’t no longer grow together with me. What’s happened to the vowel we took? In case she forget, let me remind her: “Rồi mai đây đi trên đường đời / Đừng buông tay âm thầm tìm về cô đơn.” (Later, on the journey through life / Don’t let go of my hand to seek your quiet solitude.)

I woke up and thank goodness it was just a dream. I took off my CPAP mask and just read and wrote in bed. Around 8 AM, I took my oldest son to school to take the standard test. I went back home to work on a project that required full concentration. I told my other son to take his class on his own.

At 10:30 AM, I had to break away from the project to go to my doctor appointment. My internist wanted to touch base on my sleep study. I went back home, had a quick lunch, then went back to work. Without any email interruptions, I finished the project around 3:30 PM. I sent it to my co-worker to check the content.

I put together a study guide for my son for his test the next day. Instead of taking notes, he and I took photos of all the slides his teacher presented. I went back to all the slides and wrote a single page study guide for him to study.

I was planning on taking the kids to the skatepark after they finished with their school, but my headache was getting worse. Then I started to feel chilly. Then my temperature increased. The vaccine had kicked in. I went to bed to rest while my wife took the kids out for pizza and frozen yogurt.

I am heading to bed early tonight and hopefully the reaction will go away tomorrow.

I have not read any of Mr. Caro’s work, but I have heard of his monumental works on Robert Moses and Lyndon Johnson. I picked up this book because I was interested in his researching, interviewing, writing process. Unfortunately, it’s only a collection of his previous essays written for other publications, his interviews, and some new materials. Mr. Caro did state upfront that this book is not what he wanted to write. He is working on a memoir, but he is not sure if he could get it done in time. He is a meticulous writer who takes his time and he is in his 80’s. He just wanted to get this book out just in case he ran out of time. I wish him well and I will hope to get a chance to read his full memoir. This one didn’t do it.

Raksa Yin, co-programming director at AIGA DC, writes:

Hi Donny,

I’m reaching out to say you were nominated into our AAPI Heritage Month social media campaign. Through this campaign in May, we want to highlight AAPI creatives doing interesting works telling their heritage story, showing awareness of AAPI issues or building a safe space for AAPI voices.

I want to say congrats! You will be featured in our upcoming social media campaign with other AAPI creatives. Your Vietnamese Typography stood out and it’s very unique.

I am deeply honored for the nomination.

Nguyễn Phan Quế Mai writes in the New York Times:

It is long overdue that we highlight the costs of wars beyond injuries and casualties, to include the damage still inflicted on our health, our families and our environment. It is long overdue that comprehensive actions be taken to help all victims of Agent Orange, regardless of their nationalities.

Watch the slideshow, “Please Give Me,” I created to raise awareness of the victims of Agent Orange the U.S. has never acknowledged.

As we left my sister’s house around 11:30 pm, I realized that I needed to pick up distilled water. We stopped by CVS. I ran in and looked at the water section. Another man was also looking and he asked, “Are you looking for distilled water?” I replied, “Yes.” He said, “Me too. I needed it for my CPAP tonight.” I replied, “Me too. Let’s ask if they still have it in stock.” He asked the receptionist and she said, “If you don’t see it on our shelf, we ran out.” He asked, “Do you think Walgreens might have it?” She replied, “No.” As we walked out of the store, he said, “Oh shit!”

I went back to our car and told my wife what happened. She quickly looked up Walgreens and it would be closing in 13 minutes. As we headed over, the neon lights started to shut off. I parked the car and ran in quickly. I spotted the same man I encountered earlier carried four jugs of one-gallon distilled water. He told me, “There’s more on the shelf.” I ran back and grabbed one jug.

Even with our masks on, we looked at each other at the checkout with a sigh of relief. I wished him a great night of sleep as we parted. It occurred to me that I am now depending on distill water just like drugs. I dragged my wife and my sleeping children to the store to get my drug. I should have listened to my wife and bought one earlier in the day. I procrastinated until the last minute.

By the time all of us showered and brushed our teeth, it was almost one in the morning. The kids were knocked out, but I was still wide awake. Even the CPAP didn’t really help much.

Klara is an AF (artificial friend) who has the ability to observe her surroundings and the capability to learn human feelings. Through Klara’s narration, we learn about our world through the robot’s insights. Ishighuro is a masterful novelist who gives a voice to a machine. This is a beautiful, breathtaking work of fiction on human connection and loneliness. I highly recommended it for an escapism.

I hesitated to conduct a sleep study because I didn’t want to wear a mask to sleep every night and maybe for the rest of my life. Even though my internist insisted that I didn’t need it, my wife pressured me to do it. She couldn’t stand my snoring even though we have been sleeping in separate rooms with our doors closed.

I brought the issue with internist again and she recommended the Neurology Center of Fairfax. I chose Dr. Cho based on the positive reviews I have read on Google. He turned out to be great. We did a Zoom meeting, in which he asked me a punch of questions. I also asked him about my concern of sleeping with a mask. I am sure he had received this question from patients over and over again. His response was that many of his patients wouldn’t want to sleep without it after they get used to it.

Dr. Cho wanted to conduct a sleep study in the office so he could get a comprehensive diagnosed, but my insurance denied. My insurance wanted me to do a home study first. I went into Dr. Cho’s office to pick up the test machine and one of his specialists provided me detailed instructions for setting up the test at home.

The sleep study machine was uncomfortable, but I got through it. My apnea-hypopnea index (AHI) was 8, which is a mild case for sleep apnea. an AHI of 30 would consider high risk. Dr. Cho wanted me to go into the office to get further testing and my insurance denied again. It wanted me to go ahead with the CPAP (continuous positive airway pressure) machine. Dr. Cho’s staff referred me to the Bay State Medical. Last Wednesday, I went into its office to pick up Philips’s DreamStation 2 Auto CPAP Advanced. A sleep therapy specialist went over the machine with me in details. He also showed me about half a dozens of masks to choose from. I picked out Fisher & Paykel’s Vitera Full Face Mask.

The specialist warned me that the first two weeks might uncomfortable. If I could use it for an hour a night in the first few nights, that would be find. After that I have to use at least four hours in order for the insurance to pay for the equipments. On Wednesday night, I started using the machine immediately. I was surprised how comfortable it felt. To distract myself from the machine and the mask, I read for half an hour before dozing off. The mask kept my mouth closed so I breath mostly through my nose. I don’t think I was snoring anymore. In the first two nights, I felt the pressured kicked in a few times while I was sleeping. The last three nights, I didn’t feel much as I am starting to get used to the machine. I have been using the machine from 6 to 8 hours a night. My AHI is 2.1, which is lower than 5. This is definitely a good sign. At the same time, I am now depending on this technology for a while or maybe for the rest of my life. Scary isn’t it?

Xuân wrapped up his ice skating lessons for the Tot 3/4 level. He did well on the test. Instead of going to Tot 5, I signed him up for Alpha/Beta. He can swizzle forward and backward. He can glide forward on one foot. I taught him forward crossovers and he can do them as well. He is ready for Alpha/Beta.

I wanted him to skip Tot 5 and go to Alpha, but I signed him up a level and a half higher so that we can have lessons on the same day. His new instructor will be the same as my current instructor. Although she is a great coach.

In the past few months, I had always been looking forward to Tuesdays so I can take Đạo, Đán, and Xuân to ice skating lessons together. I spent half an hour with Đán while Đạo and Xuân took their lessons. I read while Đán played some games on my phone or we observed how Đạo and Xuân were doing. Although their classes were at the same time, they were at different levels with different instructors. Then all four of us skated for 20 minutes before my and Đán’s classes began. Although it seemed mundane, I really enjoyed our time together.

I am already feeling a bit sad that Đán might not continue taking lessons after he finishes Gamma/Delta. He is not interested in figure skating. He wants to go into hockey. I asked him to give the Jackson Freestyle figure skates a try, he skated two times around the rink and gave up. He wanted to get back to his hockey skates. He had no patience and gave up too quickly.

I am enjoying Gamma. It is less stressful than Beta. I will take the next level, which is Delta, but not sure if I will continue into Freestyles after Delta. I am not sure if I can handle all the jumpings and spinnings. I am also still looking into switching my skates from hockey to figure.

Đạo has started the transition and he seems to do fine with figure skates even though he still prefers hockey. He wanted to go further into Freestyles. That’s good for him.

As far as expectations, my wife and I disagreed on what we have for the kids. She wanted them to have goals or make some achievements. She wanted them to work toward joining a hockey team or competing in figure skates. For me, I do not have any expectations. If they want to join a hockey team or compete, I will definitely support them. Otherwise, I am fine with them just skating and taking lessons for recreation. As long as they get off their butts and out of the house, I am satisfied.