Last year I got myself into hot dramas because I couldn’t control my outbursts. I spoke up because I cared too damn much and I gave a fuck. It turned out that caring and giving a fuck only made me into a human volcano. I erupted when caught fire.

In retrospect, what the fuck was going through my mind? Why did I even give a fuck? I made a promise to myself that I would not get myself under fire again. Fuck rumors. Fuck dramas. Fuck politics. In fact, fuck all controversies.

It’s better for me to keep my mouth shut. Focus on my family. Do what I have to do to feed my kids. Zone out anything that doesn’t involve me or my family. Life is too fucking short to give a fuck about anything else. The less shit I let into my head the better.

I am tired and exhausted to give a fuck. I don’t give a fuck if people hate me. I don’t give a fuck if people don’t like my work. I won’t put up a fight unless it affects my family or me. I just want to live a smooth life free of conflicts. It’s all good, baby, baby!

Life is the bitch, and death is her sister
Sleep is the cousin, what a fuckin’ family picture
You know Father Time, we all know Mother Nature
It’s all in the family, but I am of no relation
No matter who’s buyin’, I’m a celebration
Black and white diamonds, fuck segregation

Lil Wayne (an excerpt from “6 Foot 7 Foot”)

Mother Nature hasn’t been nice to us all week with rain and warm weather. Despite 60°F today, I went to Liberty to see if the trails were still skiable. As expected, the ice was slushy. I couldn’t snowboard down the green trail without stopping to rest my feet. They were excruciatingly uncomfortable. I was using Đán’s rental boots because he took mine. After five runs, I couldn’t continue.

Because my feet hurt so bad, I didn’t make any progress on snowboarding. I wanted to work on the torsional twists and the pole drills, but I couldn’t do them. I ended up switching to skiing. I went up to the blue trail and skied around moguls. I still love skiing.

Climate change is making a huge impact on skiing and snowboarding. If the weather continues to get warmer and warmer in the winter, we won’t be able to ski in the next few years. I hope that won’t be the case.

When it comes to building a brand, Bobby doesn’t beat around the bush. As a brand clarity expert who has been in the business for over two decades helping his clients clarifying their brands, Bobby keeps it fucking real. By focusing on the core message, he taps into the heart and soul of a brand. In his new book, he brings the same authenticity, audacity, and personality onto the page. From success stories to unforeseeable mistakes, Bobby puts everything on the line because his brand is his reputation. His writing is as authoritative as it is informative. If you give a shit about building your brand through leadership and compassion, this book is for you.

After countless falls and frustrations, I am getting a hang of snowboarding. I can do the toe turn thanks to Tommie Bennett’s turning techniques. Bennett’s ultimate guide to changing edges was also helpful.

I learned to avoid catching edges by squeezing my board. When an instructor explained to me the squeezing technique last year, I didn’t understand what he meant, but I get it now. What clicked for me was that I had to remember to constantly put my weight on my front foot. Kevin Pearce’s “Slow to Fast Snowboard Turn Progression” demonstrated this technique.

Learning snowboarding is definitely harder than skiing. I fell so much that my body was immune to the pain. Out of frustration, I almost gave up, but I kept going. I thought I might be too old for snowboarding, but what I really needed was patience.

I still love skiing, but I am ready to take on the snowboarding challenge. I still have a lot to learn, but snowboarding is unlocking a whole new world for me.

This year I read 47 books, 2 more than last year. I read way less nonfiction than fiction. Now that I am into novels with imaginative stories, I can’t go back reading facts. I get bored to quickly.

I read Vietnamese books (fiction and nonfiction) way less. The Fairfax Public Libraries acquired less and less each year and the collection was not engaging. I am hoping to pick up more engaging Vietnamese books so I alternate between English and Vietnamese or read them simultaneously. Switching between two languages sounds like fun.

Whether fiction or no fiction, I chose to read more Asian-American authors. I started to read poetry much more this year. Reading poetry to me is like learning a new language. Even though I know most of the words, I cannot understand the entire poem. Reading poetry reminds me of reading English when I first came to America. I just keep reading the words until I can figure out what the heck I am reading. I also created a poetry category to archive all the poems and rap lyrics I came across that I liked.

My goal for 2023 is to keep reading.

Letting go
In order to hold on
I gradually understand
How poems are made.

There is a place the fear must go.
There is a place the choice must go.
There is a place the loss must go.
The leftover love.
The love that spills out
Of the too full cup
And runs and hides
Its too full self
In shame.

I gradually comprehend
How poems are made.
To the upbeat flight of memories.
The flagged beats of the running
Heart.

I understand how poems are made.
They are the tears
That season the smile.
The stiff-neck laughter
That crowds the throat.
The leftover love.
I know how poems are made.

There is a place the loss must go.
There is a place the gain must go.
The leftover love.

Alice Walker

Spent all day with my little Xuânshine skiing and learning to snowboard. The condition at Whitetail was icy. We kicked off with two runs on the blue trails—neither black nor double black opened. We ate lunch and switched to snowboarding. Xuân was doing good. He could start to link his turns. He just needed a bit more patience to get past the frustrating part.

I didn’t make much progress on snowboarding today. I was still trying to figure out how to change edges without flattening my board and catching the edge. I am taking my time and trying to be patient with snowboarding. I still have a lot to learn, but I can control my board and my speed. My goal is to get my torsional twists down.

I had a fantastic bonding time with Xuân. With four kids, I find spending time alone with just one—once in a while—to be meaningful. I am glad that he decided to spend a whole day with me on the mountains rather than to spend on his digital devices. His brothers chose the latter. They rather played on their computer than went skiing and snowboarding. Of course, it would be fun to go with the whole family, but I was happy hanging out with my little Xuânshine. He has so much strength and energy for a six-year-old boy.

We went back to Liberty for the first time this season. It only had a few green and blue trails. I spent four hours on the bunny slope and the green trail to learn snowboarding. I figured out how to do the toe turn. Even though I still caught the edges occasionally, I was able to put together the “S” turn.

Snowboarding is started to click. My next goal is to make my “S” turns narrower and link my turns smoother. I still have a lot to learn, but I am starting to dig snowboarding. Of course I won’t give up skiing. I still love skiing, but I just want to challenge myself with snowboarding.

We didn’t hit the slopes today because it had rained all day. After skiing for five days straight, we needed a day off to rest and relax before heading back home tomorrow.

Yesterday, Đạo asked his mom and me what was the best vacation we ever had. My wife couldn’t come up with anything at the moment, and I told him, “This is it.” I was having the best time of life enjoying the winter sports and hanging around my love ones. What more could I ask for? I treasured the time we spent together because no one knew how long we could stay on this earth. I don’t want to wait until my clock runs out. I want to take advantage of the time I have with my family. I love my wife and kids too much.

I hope they enjoyed their time with me as well. Anyway, here’s a short video of our trip at Okemo.