A love like ours could never die because it was never alived to begin with. Sometimes I can’t really tell if my wife loves me or not. I think she does or else she wouldn’t bear all that pain to give birth to my wonderful boys. I would never experience what she had gone through, but I get it. Let’s put it this way. If I was the one that had to give birth, we would have no kid. Yes, I am a pussy and I know it. She knows it as well and I am not afraid to admit that in this marriage, I am the bitch.

My wife is a strong, independent woman. Sometimes I even doubted me role in the relationship and just asked her straight out, “Why do you even need me? You seem to be able to do everything yourself.” Sometimes she responded, “I don’t know why either” and sometimes she just gave me that you’re-such-a-dumb-ass look. Whenever I can’t find the right answer, I always draw back to my mom’s theory: either she owed me something in her previous life or I’ll have to pay her back in our next life. I hope it’s the latter because I do want to be with her again if there’s a next life.

As much as we irritate each other to dead at times, we always think and care about each other. We knew from the beginning that the journey ahead of us is rough and treacherous, but we can make it through if we don’t let go. One of our favorite quotes from Lê Uyên Phương’s was “Rồi mai đây đi trên đường đời / Đừng buông tay âm thầm tìm về cô đơn.” (Later, on the journey through life / Don’t let go of my hand to seek your quiet solitude.) These have to be the toughest years of our lives together, but we’re pulling through. Hold on my love, please don’t give up on me. We’ll walk right up to the sun hand in hand.

Back to reality after five days of being a lazy bump. I tried to stall as much time as I could by not going anywhere ad doing anything. All we did was sleep, eat, play by the pool and beach. We were served when wanted to eat. Even our plates was carried to our table after we picked out our food. Our room was cleaned when we hit the beach or pool. Drinks and cocktails were served whether we lounged on the beach or the pool. I had at least a dozen of mojito a day.

Speaking of mojito, after about six or seven glasses, the staff asked me to play some soccer on the beach. It was a five-minute game and I almost passed out. They had to laid me down and gave me water. That really hit me. For the past few stressful months all I did was having burgers for lunch and didn’t do my jogging. After this week I need to watch what I eat and hit the track again.

As for Dao, he got fresh milk everyday from the staff. The teacher in the Kid Club adored him, but he was into the swimming pool more than spending time with a hot babysitter. Still, he enjoyed his time in Catalonia. We had a very relaxed time as well. Food is the only thing that was not so great. The buffet featured too many similar items from day to day

We were definitely being privileged. I don’t know if I want that life everyday, but definitely a moment to treasure for five days. Mad props to each and every staff at Hotel Catalonia for the outstanding service and accommodation.

They say when you married someone you’ll married her whole family. I am grateful to be part of such a loving, bonding, harmonizing family. Make no mistake. I am now inseparable from the clan, but looking from an outsider point of view, the week-long annual reunion is a remarkable effort, something my side of the family hasn’t been able to organize for over ten years. We had one back in 1997 and it was the most memorable gathering yet.

What makes the annual event successful is the commitment from the elders. They show us the value of family’s bonding time. Despite their frail health and hardship of mobility, they managed to attend every year. The youngsters, on the other hand, are the ones that need to step up our game and do our part. We need to cherish these invaluable moments.

For me, seeing Cu Dao playing and laughing with his cousins he might only get to see once a year melted my heart; therefore, my wife and I will make the family reunion our top priority when planning our vacation time.

Today marks our third anniversary.Three years aren’t that long, but the changes have been tremendous. Our relationship has turned from romantic to realistic. Maybe that’s the way marriage works over time. We share the same goals, but not necessarily the same views. We argue at times, but we enjoys each other’s presence. We have our own issues, but we help each other to get by. We go through tough times, but we manage to stay strong. We work hard to build our family.

For the past two years, we devoted our attention on our boy. He has been our challenge, but also our joy. He sometimes makes us upset, but also makes us laugh. He wears us out, but also provides us strength. He gives us the true meaning of responsibility and spontaneity. Our lives never seem to stand still when he’s awake, yet we enjoy every moment of it, and so to make our family even livelier, we will be welcoming a new member by the end of this year. Yes, Dao will have a brother or sister to play with. We are thrilled!

So three years are just the beginning of our journey. The road ahead will not be smooth and we will be facing more tough time, but I am positive that we can get through as long as we stay together and support each other. At this point in my life, nothing is more important than a strong, loving family. Happy anniversary!

In another hour and half, 2010 will be gone. While waiting for the countdown, let’s take a quick retrospection.

2010 treated me not so bad at all. Our little family was doing great. It was a wonderful experience to see Dao’s progression from walking to talking to learning something new everyday. It was a joy to see him grows and I am looking forward to even more exciting activities from him next year.

In the tough economy Dana and I managed to pull through. Although I am glad that neither of our job was affected, I hope that we will do even better next year.

As for my work as GWSB, the Unified Web Project was one of the best things that happened at the university. I had a chance to know and work with a group of talented web developers from various schools within GW. I am looking forward to more collaborative effort next year.

Looking back at my own work, I am very proud with the sites I have launched, particularly Sketches of Miles, Le Mekong Vietnamese Cuisine, Julie Tran Law, Easy License Renewal and United Green Solutions. I am looking forward to more exciting projects next year.

So 2011, bring it on.

After hitting the publish button on my last post about my dad, my phone rang. A cousin in Viet Nam called and we talked briefly about my dad. Since his retirement, he seems bored and lonely. He doesn’t go anywhere and just stays in the house his older brother provided to him.

One of the strengths on my dad side of the family is that they take great care of each other. Even my gambling uncle is provided with care. As long as he doesn’t gamble, he could have a place to stay. I appreciate the family’s structure and foundation. We respect the elders from the top down through many generations. My dad once told me that his oldest brother is like his parent after my grandparents passed away. The problem with my dad though he doesn’t know how to balance between his big family and his immediate family. The result is that we always come second to his big family.

That was his decision and as a son all that I can do is respecting his choice. Even now when is all by himself, he doesn’t even express that to me. Our communication is totally wrecked. I was thinking to myself yesterday. What if I just take two or three weeks off go back to Viet Nam and just lock myself in with him 24/7. We’ll just hang out and travel together as father and son, something we had never done. Will that help reconnect our relationship?

While driving home, Dana said to me, “You and your dad doesn’t have much to say to each other, huh?” I nodded my head agreed.

My dad calls my mom every Saturday morning. Since we were in town, mom handed me the phone and I did the same thing I do every time I talk to him. I asked him about his health and then the rest of his brothers and sisters. After that we just stayed silence and I handed the phone back to my mom. She then passed the phone to Cu Dao so he could say, “Hello Ong Noi” (Hi grandpa).

My relationship with my dad is actually better than ever, but the distance between us physically and emotionally is still far away. Even though the time we spend apart is way too long, he is still my dad and I will do anything I can for him. He never asks me for anything since he must have felt that he has not done much for me. I learn everything about him through my mother. Even after we spoke over the phone, I had to ask my mom about his health and if he needed anything.

Plenty of time I told myself to get over the past and let just pick up where we left off, but then where do we start? We are now living in two different worlds. Will our worlds ever become one again? Will we ever be under the same roof again? Right now I don’t have an answer and I don’t think he does either. We’re just letting time passing us by.

I called my old man last night and he happened to be doing some work at the temple he helped built when I was five. He handed the phone over to chi My Chau, the youngest monk who treated me like her little brother when I lived in the temple. We chatted and she brought back some of the fondest memories of my life. I ran from the school back to the temple without my books and bag because I was afraid of getting flu shot. She remembered the times she walked me to school and picked me up at the end of the day. She reminded me our favorite dish: “gasoline” fried rice. I once asked Su Co (the second highest monk) how she made such delicious fried rice and she told me she used gasoline. The joke stuck.

One of the biggest reasons I loved to stay at the temple was chi My Chau. We played together and she made me all kind of fun toys like kites, coconut-leaf animals, paper airplane and plastic lanterns. We lived a simple life. We woke up in the morning. We prayed with Su Co and Su Ba (the highest monk). We had meatless breakfast and I headed to school. After school we had lunch, we prayed and then I got to take a nap. After that I got up, played and watered the flowers. We had some time to study before dinner was served.

Chi My Chau, who is at least five years older than me, is one of the sweetest ladies I have met in my life. I don’t know exactly how she ended up at the temple and I don’t know much about her background. Unlike me she was either born to be a monk or she didn’t have a choice. She was sent to the temple and that is how she lives for the rest of her life. She got to go to school, but never got to experience the life outside the temple. Sometimes I think about her and keep wonder how she does it.

I still recall my last day at the temple. Chi My Chau was sad and mad at me for leaving. I could see the disappointment written all over her face. She seemed lonely. Until this day, I could never forget that expression. From that moment on, my life had changed forever.

I went back home and started first grade. At the time, I was obsessed with video games (Contra, Natra and Mario Brothers), billiards and Chinese TV series (Natra, Te Thien, Vo Tat Thien). I even stole money from my mom to feed my addiction. I can’t even imagine how messed up my life would have been if I didn’t come to America.

Migrated to the States was another life-changing experience for me. I was lonely and felt as if I was deaf and muted. I couldn’t make any friends and I couldn’t hang out with American kids. I got picked on and laughed at. At that point, I really missed the time I was living in the temple. I loved the calmness atmosphere and the times I spent with chi My Chau. I had thought of going back, but it was impossible at that time and my mind was already corrupted. There is no turning back, but I still hope one day I could go back to the temple and relive some of that peaceful experience.

The documentary section of Van Son in Philippines brings back so much memories, especially the reminiscing part of Bataan where I had lived for six and a half months. Fifteen years has passed, but that special place, which was filled with sorrow, joy and anxiety, has not once departed from my heart. Coincidentally, Van Son and I were in the same 136’s cycle, which means we arrived in Bataan about the same time; therefore, most of the things he said hit my recollecting chord: the bunk camp (two families jammed in one little crib), the stringed bridge (cau treo), the food-distributing arguments (mom was responsible for dividing up the foods), the “monkey house” (for misbehaviors), the monastery and the entertainment park. One thing Van Son didn’t mention that holds a personal memory for me was the ping-pong recreation. I used to make my own paddles from either a piece of flat wood or blackboard. They weren’t the best, not to mention that they were square shaped instead of round, but they gave me an opportunity to learn how to play. The net was made up of a stick placed on two bricks. It was the coolest game ever. Even though those days were not heaven, they were not so bad comparing to the unfortunate ones who still stuck there. It’s heartbreaking to see our people being alienated in a foreign country, and still struggling after fifteen years trying to find a better place to live. Let’s hope and pray for those who are still left behind to reach their final destination.

My break has been good so far. Spending time with family and friends and mostly with Samantha and Eric (my niece and nephew). They are so adorable and it is just a joy to watch them play and grow.

I have been eating like crazy too. Finally getting some real Vietnamese food such as Bun Mam and Canh Mang. I took some photos and will post them when I get back to Poughkeepsie. I will probably create a food catagory so you can drool on.

Today, I went back to La Salle to pick up my transcript in order for me to take some classes at Vassar. While I was there, I visited some of my professors and classmates in the DArt program. Here is a photo of me and Prof. McCoey featuring on La Salle’s portal. It was nice to see them again.

I also picked up quite a few Vietnamese CDs in Philly’s Chinatown. Actually 10 altogether (mostly Tuan Ngoc, Nguyen Khang and Ngoc Lan) so I can enjoy for two weeks and during the road trips.

That’s it for now. I’ll be back later. It’s time to hit the park with my hommies for some volleyball games. Peace out!