Christmas is now behind us. In a few days, 2014 will end as well. Around this time of the year, I like to review my personal progress to make improvements in 2015. I actually have started to make some changes before the holidays began. Once again I need to get my priorities straight and cut back on digital activities such as Facebook, Twitter and computer usage.

Facebook, without a doubt, is a great tool for catching up on family and friends. I had, however, found myself being sucked deep into it. I had became the parent that I came to despise: the ones who attached to their digital devices and just let their children do their own things. I must confess. I also am a bit envy of those couples with perfect life. They take vacation all year round. Their kids are well-behaved and they show affection for each other while I am still struggling with my own relationship. I am proud to report that I have been Facebook-free for the last couple of weeks. Though I have not deactivate my account because I have work-related tasks, I have deleted the Facebook app off my iPhone.

In addition to Facebook, I am cutting back on Twitter. I use Twitter primarily to stay up-to-date with web industry. Technologies are moving as such rapid speed that I can’t no longer keeping up with everything. I need to focus on my core strengths and let everything else go. I deleted the app off my iPhone in the past week and planning on using the Twitter web site once or twice a day.

At home, I limit the use of laptop as well. My only time for blogging or doing anything on the computer would be when the kids are sleeping. So I need to wake up before them or stay up late after they had gone to bed. When I am with them I want to give them my full attention, something I have shamefully neglected. I have always been around them whenever I have a chance, but I was not fully engaged and that has been changed before the holidays started. I am off work the entire next week as well so my time will be with them.

Being digitally disconnected in the past two weeks had given me more focus on the physical interactivity. I am spending more time on nurturing our relationship. With the kids being our priority and my own issues, we had drifted away, but deep down, we are inseparable. We have way too much love for each other and for our boys. The foundation we have built is solid. We need to maintain it.

My personal issues have effected our relationship. I am working hard on most of them, but I know for sure that at least one could never changed. I am not so sure how to overcome that one. It makes me miserable, stress out, and resentful. The more I try to ignore it the more it takes over me like a drug addict. Writing has been somewhat helpful, but I can’t seem to publish it for the public. It’s too personal to share. Nevertheless, the blog has remained therapeutic for me. It is still a personal space that allows me to write down my thoughts.

Several months ago, the cop pulled me over for doing 50 in the 35-mile zone. I had enough of these crap; therefore, I decided to fight back. Since I will be on the road for many years to come, I need to deal with this because it is inevitable. When I was in my late teens and early twenties, I had my share of tickets and I always paid up immediately because I just wanted to get them out of the way and moved on. I was young and stupid. I was lacking of confidence and scared. I am now a grown man and I know how the system works. The judges and the cops aren’t as intimidating as I thought. Besides, I was not breaking any law until the judge decide.

So when I got pulled over, I remained calmed and talked nicely to the officer. Once he handed me the ticket, I even thanked him and wished him a good day. The next day, I went back to the scene to see if I could make my case. The road was under construction so I pulled out my iPhone and took a few photos of the scene. Because of the construction, the road was bumpy; therefore, I couldn’t drive fast. I had my reason one. Then there is a park near the scene that held a farmer market every Thursday in the summer. People parked their cars nearby and took their kids to the market. As a father of two toddlers, I have always been extremely careful whenever kids around; therefore, I couldn’t be speeding. I had my reason two. There was a speed limit sign, but it was obscured by the bus stop sign and the electric pole. I took a picture of that too and had my reason three.

In the ticket, the officer clocked me in at 50 miles. I questioned the accuracy of his speed gun. Why I wasn’t doing 48, 48 or 15, but perfectly on 50? I had my reason four. For reason five, I was not sure if I wanted to bring up in court—the officer marked me as “W” for ethnicity—but I brought it up anyway.

For my court schedule, I dragged it out further by requesting a continuance. I wanted to buy more time so that the officer could forget about me or in case he wouldn’t show up. He did showed up after the reschedule. In court there about 120 people. The ones with the lawyer got done the quickest. Most people pleaded guilty and the judged reduced their fine to $50 or $100 with no points. The ones that pleaded not guilty had to wait to the end. The good thing was I brought the book along. I was in the court from 9:30 am to noon.

Lucky for me, the judge was very nice and he was on the people side. He was interested in what we have to say and not just the cops. In addition to all the reasons I listed above, I also pointed out to him that I haven’t have an accident for twenty years and I have four plus points in my driving record. Virginia rewards you a point each year for no violation and you can earn up to five points. After looking at my photos, the error on the ticket and the calibration date on the officer’s speed gun. He found me not guilty.

What have I learned from all this is that you always have to go to court. Don’t just paid up. Stay calm and be nice to the officer. Rather your evidences and ready to make your case. If you’re not fluent in English, request an interpreter. Most important of all, be confidence.

I haven’t have a drop of coffee in the past two months. I just stopped because I thought I was depending on coffee way too much. I thought it would be hard, but I was able to get off the hook easily. Instead of drinking coffee in the morning, I switched to coconut water with chia seed. They make a great combo for detox.

As for drinking I still do a bit of cocktail every now and then, especially when I get stressed out. Somehow the buzz of liquor has been making me happier when dealing with the kids. Dan gave me some hell yesterday when he didn’t take a nap time. When he finally was down for a nap, he woke up an hour later because he was coughing. He brought more hell when he woke up. I left the room and let his mom calmed him down.

When it was time for dinner, I made myself a drink. After that I was in such a good mood to give the kids a bath and brushed their teeth. The night ended well with a bit of margarita.

Thưa bố,

Như hứa hẹn, đại gia đình mình gặp nhau đông ở vùng biển San Deigo. Cái vui là cả họ gặp nhau tay bắt mặt mừng nên hơi ồn ào một tí cho nên ngày đầu tiên đã bị đề nghị đổi nhà khác.

Như thường lệ, các bác, cậu mợ, dì chú đến tham dự gần hết. Đám trẻ tụi con cũng đến nhiều. Đám nhóc thì cả bầy. Mấy đứa cháu trai cưng của bố quậy lắm. Bố phải phù hộ cho tụi con có thêm cháu gái để tụi nó bớt phá phách.

Như mấy lần trước, mỗi gia đình trổ tài nấu nướng cho cả họ thưởng thức. Đặt biệt là con gái út của bố đã kho một nồi cá và luộc mấy bó rau muống. Được một bữa ăn Việt Nam thuần túy thanh đạm nên các cụ khen. Chắc chắn bố sẽ rất hảnh diện với cô con gái út.

Năm nay anh Hùng trổ tài làm sushi cả buổi cho mọi người. Hai đứa cháu bác Cần cũng enjoy cả mấy tiếng đồng hồ. Đây cũng lần đầu tiên con được gặp mặt gia đình anh Quý. Cả nhà bốn người ai cũng dễ thương.

Năm nay có cái mới là quý ông rất hăng hái trong việc rửa chén dọn dẹp cho quý bà và quý cô đỡ mệt sau khi nấu ăn. Một phần nào đó phải nhờ công lao cậu Dụng, người đã can đảm nói lên cảm nghĩ của mình sau khi uống hai chung Tequila.

Nói đến nhậu thì không thể thiếu. Anh Tiến làm mồi khá hấp dẫn nên rượu mấy chai cũng không đủ. Năm nay chẳng những nhậu không say mà còn học được thơ và câu châm ngôn từ anh Bi để giữ gìn hạnh phúc gia đình: “Ladies, please leave me alone. I am married.” Không biết lúc xưa bố có dùng câu này không.

Đám con nít chơi với nhau khá thân thiện. Thằng Cu Đán rất thích chị Jolie. Nó không muốn chia sẻ chị ấy với ai cả. Nó làm ai cũng cười hết.

Một tuần trôi quá rất nhanh khi được bên cạnh những người thân. Mọi người chia tay nhau hẹn lại năm sau. Riêng gia đình bé nhỏ của con cùng mom ghẻ lại thành phố đầy tội lỗi chơi vài ngày.

Hôm nay chúng con về lại Virginia cũng là ngày sinh nhật bố. Tuy bố không có mặt nhưng trong thâm tâm chúng con và mom lúc nào cũng có hình bóng bố. Mỗi khi chạy xe ngang qua nơi an nghỉ của bố, Cu Đạo và Đán vẫn la to “ông ngoại.” Khi hỏi Cu Đạo ông ngoại đâu, nó trả lời, “trên trời.”

As a music listener, I prefer well-crafted albums from a single artist over a handful of singers. I also appreciate albums with thought-out concepts more than a whole bunch of songs thrown in together. I like to experience a record from beginning to end without interruption.

When I started to get into jazz singing, I listened to Billie Holidays for a month straight. She impressed the hell out of me, but that was the reason I tuned in for. Lady in Satin took me into the darkest corner of her world and let me touch her soul. If I was in the mood for some psychedelic rock, Jimi Hendrix’s Electric Ladyland would be my goto album. If I was in a mood for some Vietnamese romantic ballad, I would reach for Tuấn Ngọc’s Giọt Lệ Cho Ngàn Sau. Likewise, I could relax to Hồng Nhung’s Khu Vườn Yên Tĩnh or get some lyrical pleasure from Jay Z’s The Black Album. Of course I could pick out any record of Miles Davis for any occasion.

To describe my listening experience, the best analogy I could think of is an interview with a porn star. I can’t recall what her name was, but her answer to why she wanted to be a porn star struck a cord with me. She said that for the next 30 minutes or so she could leave the world behind her and just focus on her partner and the only thing that stands between them is the camera. That is exactly how I feel. Between me and the musician is a pair of earbud. I want the intimate relationship between me and the artist. So yes, from Jimi, Coltrane, Dylan, Thu Phương, Nguyên Khang to Hồng Nhung, I fucked them all.

Chiều thứ Bảy lúc chạy xe ngang qua Starbucks, tôi hỏi vợ, “Em uống cafe không? Anh có một cái free.” Vợ trả lời, “Uống thì uống.” Tôi nói, “Vậy anh order một ly cối Coffee Frappuccino chơi thêm hai shots expresso nữa nhé.” Vợ gật đầu, “Uống xong tối thức làm bài.” Tôi cười đáp, “Vậy thì chiều nào anh cũng mua cho em một ly để tối thức em trả bài.” Vợ trả lời, “Anh đừng có nằm mơ. Trả bài cho boss đó.” Ouch!

This morning I took Dao to his friend’s house for birthday celebration. The party started at 10am. The parents served bagels with cream cheese, pastries, coffee, juice for the kids, Mimosa and Bloody Mary for the adults.

We arrived around 10:15. While the rest of the kids went outside to play moon bounce, Dao wanted to stay inside to play with massive Batman toys. The parents all went outside except me, the host (birthday boy’s dad) and another dad who I met for the first time. The host was making drinks in the kitchen.

I didn’t want to appear to be anti-social so I asked for a Bloody Mary and started a conversation about sports. “So you guys follow the World Cup?” I asked. The other dad responded, “No, I hate soccer. It’s a slow, stop and play game and it drags on forever.” The host replied, “You can say that about baseball and you like baseball right?” The dad responded, “Yeah, I love baseball but I don’t get soccer. How can you lose and still win?” I chimed in, “We did beat Ghana.” He gave me that everybody-can-beat-Ghana gesture. Then he went on, “I just read a piece Ann Coulter wrote about soccer and she is right on.” I couldn’t resist questioning, “You actually read Ann Coulter?” He replied, “I normally don’t, but I agree with her on this one.” I mused, “I haven’t read what she has written, but I am sure Ann Coulter talks about soccer is like a nun talking about anal sex.” Needless to say my joke didn’t go too well. I knew I needed to shut up before a 300-pound dad crushes me.

It’s amazing how many Americans are so ignorant about soccer, but aren’t so ashamed to show it. I was listening to The Talk Show the other day and John Gruber and his guest showed the same ignorant for soccer. On his site, he also linked to another ignorant commentary from Keith Olbermann on soccer. Obermann better off focusing his energy and talent on attacking the right wing than wasting it on something he is so clueless and has no passion for.

While the entire world is embracing soccer, America hates it. It’s not a surprising the U.S. team has been suck for long due to the lack of support. This year the U.S. team is gaining some traction and yet we still get no love. I am proud of the U.S. team and I hope that they’ll advance to the quarterfinal.

Yesterday morning was just another day of commuting to work. The weather was nice and I was just doing my business as usual until the cop pulled me over before the intersection of Columbia Pike and Oak Hill Drive. I have been driving on this road everyday for almost three years and I had never had any speeding issues. It’s a quiet road with lots of trees. In the summertime, I usually slow down every Thursday to enjoy the farmer market.

In the past few months, the road has been reworked; therefore, the road has been very bumpy. I hate driving on bumpy road simply because I feel bad for my car; therefore, I even drive slower than normal. Yesterday was no exception. There was no way I could have driven 50 miles in a 35-mile zone. I am definitely going to court again to fight this false accusation.

Whenever I get pullover I usually get stress out even though I tell myself that it’s part of life. I have to deal with every four or five years. I shouldn’t let this type of obstacles get to me. I have more important things to think about. I know that there’s not much I can do. I just need to be patience and deal with it when the time comes. For now, I just let it out of my system and writing a mundane post on this topic should do it.

Mới đó đã sáu năm chính thức nên vợ nên chồng. Sáu năm trải qua bao sóng gió và thử thách trong đời sống. Cả hai luôn bận rộn trong công việc và nuôi nấng con cái. Trong tình cảm có lúc vui lúc buồn và lúc thương lúc giận. Cái quan trọng là nhường bước và cùng nhau giải quyết mọi khó khăn.

Để kỷ niệm sáu năm sát cánh bên nhau, tôi muốn tặng vợ một món quà nhỏ tôi tự làm lấy. Nhìn lại những lúc không vui hay nản lòng, tôi nhớ lại thuở ban đầu yêu nhau và hứa hẹn nhau. Lời khuyên mà chúng tôi ghi giấu sâu sắc là của cố nhạc sĩ Lê Uyên Phương: “Rồi mai đây đi trên đường đời / Đừng buông tay âm thầm tìm về cô đơn.” Người nhạc sĩ tài hoa muốn nhắc phải cố gắng và không buông xuôi.

Tôi thiết kế một poster tặng em. Cám ơn những tình yêu và cảm thông em đã giành cho tôi. Tôi xin được yêu em suốt đời.

I love this piece: “Warren Buffett’s Best Kept Secret to Success: The Art of Reading, Remembering, and Retaining More Books.” It is reassuring to know that reading is still a great way to learn.

I learned a secret yesterday when I talked to my wife about the article and how I have become obsessed with books. She obviously already knew that. She told me that when her dad asked her why she wanted to married me even though I was totally useless when it came to fixing things around the house. Her response was that because I love reading and that later on when we have kids I could teach the kids to read. I asked her how did she know I loved to read and she replied, “Well, you spent most of your time at the bookstore when you weren’t working.” Came to think of it, the first time we met were at Barnes & Noble. So reading played a role in landed me a wonderful wife. How could I stop doing something with such a big benefit?

She also said that so far I haven’t done anything to help the kids to read. First of all, they’re two and five. Dao is a bright kid so I don’t think he would have a problem with reading. However, I don’t think reading could be forced. It has to come within yourself. I was not into reading when I was a kid. In fact, I hated it. My cousins kept telling me to read. One of them even signed me up for a local library card. I used to checked out book, read a few pages and fell asleep. Maybe my English was limited and I couldn’t understand the story.

In high school, one of my favorite classes was literature. I loved the teacher’s lecture, but I hated the reading. Fortunately I had a Vietnamese friend whose English was much better than me took the same class. Each night I would call her up so she could tell me what the book was about. I think the title of the book we had to read was The Red Badge of Courage. I am glad she was willing to do it and didn’t think I was being lazy.

When I was in college, I stopped buying books after my freshman year because I read none of it. I am still not sure how I graduated. My required courses such as religion, philosophy, English and biology ranged from grade B to C. Needless to see, my GPA wasn’t that good.

The love of reading came to me quite late. Blogging plays a part of it. I wanted to read books so I could write reviews. When I got into jazz, I read because I wanted to learn about the music and the players. My reading habit is determined by the things I was into at the time. For a period of time, all I read was books on Flash then on web design. When I was passionate about Miles Davis, I read every book I could get my hands on about him. Typography is both fascinating and challenging for me. There is so much to learn, but now I have read as much as I could and things have started to make sense.

One of the benefits of working at a University is the access to all the libraries in the area. I could get a loan from American or George Washington. I have picked up the habit of carrying a book with me whenever I go. If I have a spare moment like waiting for the kids to sleep in the car or waiting for a car service, I could pull out a book to read.

An ideal vacation for me would be to just relax and read. Because I have a lot of books that I want read and not much time, I try to read whenever I can. People probably think that I am just trying to look intelligent, but I am not. I just wanted to read. Because I want to learn something when I read, I hardly read fictional books. Not that I don’t get anything out of fictional books. I always enjoyed the writing style. I just want to read something that I could take away from it.

I have also been interested in the art of rereading. I return to Robert Bringhurst’s The Elements of Typographic Style and Strunk and White’s The Elements of Style every now and then. I could learn something every time I read those books. I hope that my kids would be interested in reading as well. It’s probably better if they start young. I was too late into the game, but better late than never.