Mới ngày nào còn ôm trong tay, vậy mà thằng con trai lớn đã vào lớp một. Mới đó mà cháu gái của tôi đã vào lớp 11 và đã có bồ. Tuy hơi ngỡ ngàn nhưng tôi cũng chỉ khuyên cháu nên lo học hành đến nơi đến chốn. Đừng vì tình cảm thuở ban đầu mà bỏ đi tương lai. Nhớ lại ngày xưa lúc học lớp 11 tôi cũng từng yêu để rồi lên năm đại học đầu tiên bị thất tình. Xém chúc là đã bỏ hết việc học vì cú shock quá nặng. Là một người quá yếu đuối trong tình cảm, tôi vật lộn với chính bản thân qua một thời gian dài. Sau khi tỉnh giấc tôi đã quyết định bước tới phía trước và tự thề với lòng là sẽ không để một ai làm hại con tim mình. Tình yêu đến tôi sẽ đón nhận còn tình yêu đi tôi không thề hối tiếc.

Tôi cũng nhắc cháu đừng lầm đường lỡ bước. Cuộc sống còn dài đừng để cuộc vui trong chốc lát ràng buộc tuổi xuân. Mẹ cháu đã quá bận rộn trong công việc kiếm sống đừng tạo thêm gánh nặng cho bà ta. Bây giờ ở Mỹ chưa chồng có con cũng không gì xấu hổ. Ngày trước ở Việt Nam sợ mất mặt gia đình và cha mẹ nên có con thì đưa cho cha mẹ nuôi. Đứa nhỏ gọi ông bà ngoại là cha mẹ để che mắt thiên hạ.

Bây giờ tôi đã lớn và lối suy nghỉ cũng đã cởi mở hơn xưa. Tôi không dể dàng bị shock nữa. Và tôi cũng không cần gì để giữ thể diện. Tôi sống cho chính bản thân tôi và cho gia đình và không cần biết ai nghỉ gì hay nói gì. Phải chi ngày xưa tôi hiểu thấu như bây giờ thì có lẻ cuộc sống của tôi đã nhẹ nhàng và thoải máy hơn.

Nghe tin ông ra đi tôi xót xa. Tuy không biết nhiều về ông, tôi hiểu được hoàn cảnh của ông. Kiếp người dường như đã định sẵn. Duyên hay nợ ta phải chấp nhận cho đến ngày nhấm mắt. Khi mất kể như đã hết. Thể xát nay về cát bụi và linh hồn đã được giải thoát. Xin được đốt lên một nén hương tận trong đáy lòng như một lời chia tay.

I’ve been back from our family reunion for a week already, but haven’t had a chance to blog about it. I had been busy at work, preparing the syllabus for my teaching engagement, and hammering away with my final project.

In any rate, this year’s reunion was fantastic. It was a whole week filled love, laughter, food, and liquor. Between Saturday evening to Wednesday night, we emptied one Johnny Walker, one Rémy Martin V, one Grey Goose, one Hornitos, one Don Julio, six Patróns, and cases of beers.

This year’s spot was phenomenal. We rented a house right by the beach in Destin Florida. The water was clear and warm. The sand was white. A typical day for me was waking up early around 7AM, went running, and dived straight into the beach. Read or listened to music until my wife texted to tell me that the kids had woken up.

I headed back home, took a quick showered, got the kids ready to join the big family for breakfast. Depending on the kids, we would either go to the beach or mini golf and arcade. After lunch, we spent the rest of the day at the pool.

Everyone then gathered back into the big house for dinner. After dinner the men made more food for drinking. We ate some more, drank a whole lot, sang karaoke, and even danced. The kids also showed off their singing and beak-dancing skills. Đạo even performed two songs. Pour Đán who could barely made it to dinner. Because of all the water activities, he crashed before had a chance to finish his food.

We drove from Virginia to Florida and back. Each trip took us two days, but I enjoyed driving.

This year the reunion in Destin was much better than San Diego last year. Those couldn’t make it this year really missing out. We definitely should go back to Destin for a reunion in the future.

Tuần vừa rồi má bị té gãy tay. Bay giờ bị sưng rất nặng. Chắc phải mổ mới lành nhưng vì bị nhiễm trùng nên bác sĩ chưa dám mổ. Lớn tuổi rồi té thật nguy hiểm. Chị phải xin nghỉ làm (không biết bao lâu) để lo cho má.

Dạo này khá bận với cái dự án cuối cùng của việc học. Tuy rằng mùa học sắp tới mới bắt đầu nhưng tôi muốn làm trước để tới đó khỏi lo nhiều. Được bạn bè giúp đỡ nên tôi cảm thấy rất mai mắn. Nhất là bạn qua mạng chưa hề bao giờ gặp. Cám ơn bạn nhé.

Bây giờ không hiểu sao thằng con trai lớn nhõng nhẽo vô cùng. Ngày nào cũng nghe nó khóc. Lúc thì dành đồ chơi với em lúc thì nổi giận nếu không được theo ý muốn. Nó chỉ muốn được đồ chơi của thằng em mặt dù đồ chơi đó nó không bao giờ đụng tới. Tôi và vợ phải nhất đầu với nó. Nhiều lúc thấy nó tội nghiệp lắm. Có lẻ là anh lớn nên nó có cảm giác không được thương bằng thằng em nên tôi cố gắng rất nhiều để nó khỏi phải cảm thấy như vậy. Hy vọng nó sẽ hiểu được và thay đổi một ngày gần đây.

Tuần này được bà ngoại ở cùng nên thằng em rất thích. Đêm nào nó cũng chui vô phòng ngủ chung với bà. Sáng nào cũng phải lôi đầu nó dậy nó mới dậy. Lúc nào nó cũng sợ bà ngoại bỏ nó về New Jersey hay qua nhà bác nó ngủ. Thấy hai bà cháu gắn bó tôi vui.

Cũng đã lâu tôi không nói về bà xã. Nói tốm lại là tình hình yên ổn. Bả cũng khá bận trong công việc nhưng vẫn lo cho hai đứa nhỏ và đứa lớn này chu đáo. Tôi thấy mình cũng may mắn. Cuối tuần vừa rồi tôi đi dự hội nghị ở New York nên chở hết cả gia đình về nhà ngoại. Vợ chăm mấy đứa nhỏ để tôi đi. Tôi thì ham đi lắm. Hể trường chịu trả tiền thì tôi cứ đi để học hỏi. Bây giờ thì trường chỉ chịu trả tiền vé hội nghị thôi không trả gì khác nên tôi chỉ đi những chổ nào không tốn tiền ở và tiền vé máy bay.

Thú thật viết tiếng Việt khổ quá. Tôi phải tra tự điển hoặc dùng Google gần như mổi chữ. Nếu bạn đọc sai chính tả hoặc không hiểu được thông cảm nhé.

A week before my thirty-seventh birthday, I stepped on the scale and to my dismay I weighed around 155 pounds. I thought that I could never go over 150 pounds no matter how much I eat. At my birthday, which was little over a month ago, I decided to shape myself up because I will reach my 40 soon and it would go downhill from there. I am happy to report that I went back on the same scale again this weekend and I am now at 145 pounds. I lost 10 pounds in a month, something I had not been able to accomplish in the past. What have I done in the past month?

The first thing I decided to do was to cut down my sugar consumption. I drank hot green tea instead of coffee in the morning for the first two weeks. Now I am switching back to iced coffee with one cream and no sugar. As much as I love my sister-in-law’s irresistible flan, I had determined to skip it. It has been quite a struggle for me, especially when my kids shoving donuts, ice cream, and cakes down their throat.

I am experimenting with intermittent fasting, which means I don’t eat anything until one o’clock in the afternoon. I am fine with skipping breakfast since I did that when I was a kid. Instead of buying breakfast with the money my mom gave me each morning when I was a kid back in Vietnam, I spent it on video game and billiard. Because I am always busy at work, I am fine with eating at one. I am also incorporating salad into my deal. I used to pack grill chicken with pre-washed salad mix. Then I got tired of eating the same chicken everyday so I switched to fried tofu. Obviously fried tofu is not all that healthy.

My new plan has been to enjoy Whole Food’s salad bar at half price. If you just get whatever you want at the salad bar, your bill would be at least $10 or more. So what I had done is that I bought the pre-washed salad mix for $6, which I could eat for four or five meals. Then I would get two slices of fish or some chunks of curried lamb for $5 to go with my salad. I always have my sriracha sauce with me to spice up my meal. In addition, Whole Food is about half a mile from my office; therefore, I get a mile from walking back and forth.

I also am getting back to my exercise. Because the kids wouldn’t wake up in the morning until I force them to, I would get to do some jogging. I wanted my exercise to be enjoyable; therefore, I would not force myself to run like I used to. If I couldn’t run, I would walk. If the whether was not so nice, I would skip it. My diet plan would also changed on the weekends because I want to enjoy eating whatever the family and the kids enjoy.

Since I dropped 10 pounds in a month, I am hopeful that this new routine will last long.

In the 110th episode of “Unfinished Business,” Andy Clarke talked to Jeffrey Zeldman and Jeremy Keith about the importance of writing for yourself. Jeremy makes the case that you should blog whatever you want on your own site and he sets the perfect example with his own journal. He is a well-respect front-end developer, but he writes anything on his mind.

I have been doing the same on my own site. I write about the things that I am passionate about whether on music, typography, or parenting. Giving myself the freedom to write whatever I want encourages me to do it almost everyday. I am glad that I am not the only one who is still blogging when blogging is “dead.”

English hasn’t come easy for me and I used to feel embarrassed whenever I put my words on the page, but because I am writing for myself, I feel less intimidating. A few grammatical errors are nothing comparing to the thoughts and feelings I am revealing to the public. Then again, I probably have about three readers anyway. One of my personal goals is to write more in my first language. My Vietnamese is horrible. I can’t even write a sentence without Googling to see if the accents I used were correct. My Vietnamese writing is probably still at a third grade level, but then it doesn’t matter since this is my own site after all.

In the podcast, Jeremy pointed out why you should write from your own perspective resonated with me. He encouraged people to write even if the topics have been written elsewhere. For example, why would you write about CSS when you can find every CSS-related article on CSS Tricks? When you just learned or discovered something, you write from a fresh perspective; therefore, someone else can relate to what you have written. He is correct and I can attest to that. Web typography has been written before from people who are much more smarter than me, but I wrote Professional Web Typography based on my own perspective and experience. It turns out that many people had enjoyed reading what I had to say and I am happy about it.

Took a vacation day off work to catch up chores at home. Dropped Đán off daycare in the morning. He cried a little and said, “Daddy, I am going to miss you.” What a charming kid. Went home and tidied things up a bit for a little birthday party for Đạo. He’s turning six tomorrow.

Then went over to Đạo’s school to read a little to his class. He picked Are You My Mother? by P.D. Eastman. The kids seemed to enjoy it. Then went home continued to clean up the house. It has been awhile. We have so much junks now. I still need to get rid of them.

Ate lunch and mowed the lawn. It’s the first cut of the season. Listened to lots of hip-hop while pushing the lawn mower. It actually feels good to see everything nice and neat. Enjoying a bit time alone until the kids come home.

It’s going to be a busy day tomorrow. Take Đán to his soccer in the morning and then take Đạo to his friend’s birthday party in the afternoon. His birthday party will start at four. My mom, cousins, nephews, and niece will visit us from Lancaster.

Got four bottles of Patrón silver last week in New Jersey. It was on sale for $40 a pop. One bottle will be for the party tomorrow and three will be reserved for family reunion in August. I am not an alcoholic, but I do like to take some Tequila shots at special occasion.

It’s already time to pick up Đạo from school. Enjoy the beautiful weekend everyone.

So I made it through thirty seven years of my life. I am still healthy and blessed with a loving family. In order to maintain these two important aspects, I have work to do. I used to believe that age ain’t nothing but a number, but I am having a reality check as I am heading to the big four zero.

Even though I don’t have any health problem yet, I need to make some changes in my diet and activity. I had been eating way too reckless lately and had not have the time to exercise. Started this week, I am cutting off sugar and trying out intermittent fasting. Goodbye cheesecake and Krispy Kreme doughnuts. For caffeine, I am replacing my coffee (with cream and sugar) with green tea. I stopped running for a while, but slowing getting back into walking. Let’s see how these new changes go.

As a husband, I am not always on my best behavior. I need to work harder on that. As a dad, I am not as patience as I should. I am making that change as well. I love you guys. Thank you for a nice little birthday dinner with spring rolls and jello.

Hôm nay Đạo được nghỉ học nên hẹn hai má con nó ra khu Eden ăn trưa. Tôi đến sớm hơn nên đứng trước cái water fountain vừa đợi vừa đọc sách. Rồi một anh chàng (chắc lớn hơn tôi một vài tuổi) cùng một cô vợ trẻ xinh đẹp đến Bambu. Anh ấy chào hỏi tôi thì tôi cũng chào lại. Cô vợ vào trong mua chè còn anh ấy lấy ra điếu thuốc hút và mời tôi. Tôi từ chối và chợt nhớ anh ấy là thợ hớt tóc tôi đã từng gặp. Tôi hỏi, “Lâu nay đi ngang tiệm không thấy anh. Anh hết làm ở đó rồi hả.” Anh lịch sự trả lời, “Bây giờ em làm chổ khác rồi.” Tôi đùa hỏi thêm, “Dạo này còn đi massage nữa không?” Ảnh hơi ngạc nhiên nhưng cũng trả lời “Có vợ rồi. Hết rồi.”

Cách đây cũng năm sáu năm có một lần tôi đến tiệm cắt tóc để sửa lại sau khi vợ chơi cái tông đơ sát vào đầu lổm một chổ. Khi vào cắt tóc ảnh hỏi tôi sau vậy thì tôi cũng nói thật. Ảnh nói không sao để ảnh sửa lại. Trong lúc cắt thì cũng hỏi thăm qua lại vài câu vì trong tiệm chỉ có tôi và anh thợ. Anh cho biết là đang bảo lảnh vợ từ Việt Nam sang. Lúc cắt gần xong thì có một thanh niên vào tiệm. Anh thợ nó với người thanh niên đó, “Mầy cho tao cái địa chỉ của cái ‘động’ đi. Tao làm mất rồi.” Anh chàng thanh niên mở điện thoại di động ra và viếc xuống tờ giấy. Anh ấy hỏi tôi có muốn địa chỉ không tôi cười hỏi lại động gì? Ảnh nói đó là nơi Korean massage. Mấy em Hàng Quốc massage xong rồi “xử” luôn. Ảnh đùa thêm, “Lâu lâu phải sả đạn chứ không nó dồn lên đầu là nổ tung.” Tôi cười và từ chối địa chỉ. Đi đến chổ đó chắc là gia đình tan vỡ.

Khi vợ anh ấy quây trở lại với ly chè ba màu và ly cafe mocha, chúng tôi chào tạm biệt. Anh ấy không rủ tôi lại chổ anh hớt tóc đơn giản là vì sau năm năm tôi đã không còn tóc nữa.

All my life I tend to look for a father figure because my dad is hardly around. In retrospect, I have met and become acquaintances with the men that I had a great deal of respect for. Unfortunately, circumstances changed and so were their presence. Although they appeared in and out of my life, I am glad that they came along. My memory of them will never fade. They will always be apart of my life; therefore, this piece is dedicated to the men I look up to.

I landed in the US for the first time in Connecticut during the winter. It was freezing cold and my oldest sister’s husband at the time took off his jacket and put it on me. I immediately felt the connection with him. He took my side when his sons, who are just a few years younger than me, got into a fight with me. He helped me with my fifth-grade homework even though he had limited English. When he couldn’t figured out the answers, he took my homework to work with him so he could continue to work on during his breaks. I was glad that we lived under his roof as we started our new life in the States. Unfortunately, his marriage with my sister did not last. Although we have moved on with our own lives, I will never forget those time with him.

Years later, my older middle sister met her boyfriend who was charming and skillful at cooking authentic Vietnamese dishes. I always loved hanging out at his trailer home listening to Vietnamese music, watching Chinese TV series, and eating delicious food. At the time when ballroom dancing at Vietnamese party was the trend, he taught me all the moves: chachacha, rumba, tango, bepop, and valse. After he and my sister got married, they sold the mobile home and bought a real house. My mom and I moved in together with them. He got me into online trading. We had many deep conversations on life and stock. Unfortunately, his marriage with my sister did not work out. I still see him once in while when he comes to my sister’s house to pick up the kids, but we are no longer closed. Nevertheless, I will never forget those time with him.

In high school I dated a girl. Couple months into the relationship, she introduced me to her older sister who introduced me to her boyfriend. He was attending college at the time and he was a handy guy. He helped me fixed my car, like replacing the battery and the transmission belt. He understood that I could not afford to pay an auto shop to do so. We drank together a few times even though I was underage. Unfortunately, the girl and I broke up on a bad term. As a result, I have never seen him since, but the memory of him lingers.

In another relationship, I became closed to her aunt’s husband. He and I bonded over music, food, and drinks. I was already out of college; therefore, I was legal. Weekends at his house were always filled with delicious Vietnamese dishes, wines, beers, and laughters. He stuttered when he talked unless he had some alcohol in his system. He was normally quiet until he had a few drinks. He cracked some of the most hilarious stuttering jokes. For example, he once said that you can never win a street-style argument over a stutterer because he could say, “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck you more times he you could say fuck him.” He was a generous man who often picked up the bills when we went out to fancy restaurants with the big family. He lived a simple live and strived to be an excellent father. Those were the two characteristics that I wanted to apply in my own life. I am sure he still has all that characters in him. Unfortunately, our relationship ended when his niece and I broke up. Disconnecting with him hurt me the most. In many ways, he was my role model and my father figure. I have tried all I could to stay connected, but all we have left now is the good old memory.

When I first met my wife, she talked a great deal about her father; therefore, I could not wait to meet the man that had a profound influence on the love of my life. I can still recall the day we came to pick him and his wife at the airport as they were returning from their vacation. He was skinny and wearing glasses that made him look like a teacher. He was, indeed, a teacher. One occasion, when my wife and I were still dating, I stayed with her whole family at her sister’s apartment for a holiday break. Her father asked me to help him fix the front gate. I did not know what I was suppose to do so he handed me a wrench and asked me to unscrew something. I held up the wrench, but did not know how to operate it. He said to me that my father is a house builder and yet I don’t even know how to use a wrench. I replied to him with a joke that I am not my father, but I actually meant it. He took me under his wing and taught me to be the man around the house. I was so happy that I had finally found a father who were willing to show me the rope. When my wife and I bought our house, he helped us out with painting the walls, changing the toilet seats, and replacing the shower heads. Whenever things broke around the house, I consulted him first. I determined to learn as much as I could from him not just how to fix things around the house, but also how to keep a marriage last. He and his wife had been married for forty years; therefore, the man knew a thing or two about maintaining a long-lasting relationship. Unfortunately, cancer took his life. I was devastated; life was so unfair. I thought I have founded a father at last, but then I lost him just like that. Although we are physically separated, I will never forget the man who gave me his blessings as well as his beautiful, precious daughter.

As I am reflecting on the men I have been looking up to, I realize that I still have one more in my life. My wife’s sister’s husband is like an older brother to me. No wait, he is my older brother who is kind, humble, and generous. He works hard everyday from dust to dawn, and yet I never heard a word of complain from him. He is outstanding at establishing his professional career as well as doing home improvement. Whatever fixes we need around the house, he is our first resource. Base on the first time we met, I would have never known that he is an introvert. Maybe he was just asking the right questions and I was just doing all the talking. These days we hang out at least three days a week. With our kids, we do almost everything together from going vacation to having sleepover. Because we see each other so often we hardly have anything to say, and that is perfectly fine. We are comfortable with just being around each other. I am thankful to have him and my sister-in-law living closed by. They are our immediate family and I hope that they won’t move anywhere else.

As for my biological father, he is still the man that made me. It is unfortunate that he chooses to live his life without me, even to this day. I do have some great memories of him, but they are as far back as when I was a couple years old. At that time I was too young to understand what bonding even meant. Now being a father myself, I have nothing to look back to guide me. As a result, I am improvising my ways through. Being a father is hard; therefore, I no longer hold grudges against my dad. I accept the way our relationship is meant to be. I am not a great father myself; I have many flaws. At least I am here for my kids. They can learn from my mistakes and not to repeat them. Whether I will succeed or fail, they can look back to their childhood to use as a guide as they navigate through life.