It was teacher appreciation day. I gave Đạo two cards to write to his teachers. Here’s how our conversation went:

Me: What are you going to write for Ms. G?
Đạo: Dear Ms. G, you are a very nice teacher.
Me: That’s really nice. How about Ms. D?
Đạo: Dear Ms. D, you are a very nice teacher.
Me: Can you write something else?
Đạo: No, because I want them to be happy.
Me: Oh OK.
Đạo: They look pretty with clothes on.
Me: If you say so.

Đán with candies on his hand.

Đán Daddy, grownups can’t eat candy.
Me: Why not?
Đán Because they will get sick. Only small, small, small boys and babies can eat candy. They won’t get sick. Candy is not sweet.

He gave me no chance to defense the grownups.

Đán: Daddy, how do you spell Lego?
Me: L-E-G-O
Đán: No, it’s B-O-G-O.
Me: OK
Đán: How do you spell jelly bean?
Me: J-E-L-L-Y space B-E-A-N
Đán: No, it’s B-O-G-O.

Đán picks up spelling from Đạo who is in the process of learning how to read. Đạo asks us to spell any word he either just learned or wanting to learn. Although Đán also asks us to spell different words, his answer is always B-O-G-O.

These days when I drop Đán off at daycare. He always asked me for a kiss goodbye. I am so glad the crying is over. As I head back to my car to work, I saw a mother hiding outside the door listening to her kid’s screaming. It brought back so much memories.

Lately Đạo has been talking about death. I don’t know where or how he picked up on the subject, but I am sure that he doesn’t quite understand the concept yet.

Right before bedtime tonight, he came over and said to me, “I love you, daddy. I don’t want you to die.” I asked him why he thinks that way, but he didn’t answer my question.

About a week or so ago, I overheard a conversation between him and his brother. Somehow Đán talked about ông ngoại (grandpa) and Đạo said that “ông ngoại is not coming back.” He went on, “He is gone forever.”

A couple weeks ago, he showed me a calendar, which has a picture of H and his mom, and said, “Daddy, when H’s mom dies, he can look at this picture and he will remember his mom.” I tried to explain to him that it was not an appropriate thing to say, but he didn’t quite get it.

I asked my wife if he had mentioned to her anything about death and she said that he asked her, “Mommy, what will happen to me when you die?” I am not sure what she told him.

He seems to be curious about this subject. I am not quite sure how to explain to him the concept of death. Is he ready to learn about the truth of death?

Sau bốn ngày được nghỉ (hai ngày bị tuyết và hai ngày cuối tuần) cộng thêm đổi giờ (một tiếng sớm hơn), Đán không muốn đi nhà trẻ sáng thứ Hai. Nó không chịu ăn điểm tâm cũng không chịu ra khỏi nhà. Nó chỉ muốn được đưa anh Đạo đến trường. Sau khi tiển anh Đạo vào lớp và phải vào xe, Đán nếu chặt lấy tay mẹ và khóc, “I want you” (con muốn mẹ). Tôi nhìn hai mẹ con như đang đóng cải lương vậy. Tôi bảo mẹ nó buông tay ra nhưng không chịu. Cuối cùng tôi phải đóng kính xe.

Khi lái xe đi nó khóc ầm ĩ, “I want mommy” (con muốn mẹ). Tôi cứ mặt kệ và tiếp tục lái nhưng lòng thì cấu xé. Tôi có quá lạnh lùng với nó không? Khi đến nhà trẻ nó đã dịu lại. Lúc bế nó ra khỏi xe thì nó chuyển tôn, “I love you, daddy.” Tôi không nói gì và cứ ẵm nó vào lớp. Khi thấy cô và bạn xếp hàng đi đến phòng chơi, tôi định cho nó đi cùng các bạn nhưng vì còn nhiều đồ trên tay nên tôi đưa nó vào lớp trước. Trong lớp không có ai cả và khi cởi áo lạnh nó không chịu. Nhìn mặt thấy thảm và tội tôi hỏi, “Hôm nay con muốn đi chơi với ba không?” Nó gật đầu và mặt tươi hẳn lên. Tôi dắt tay nó đi ra khỏi lớp. Khi đến cổng anh Việt Nam hỏi, “Cháu bị bệnh hả?” Tôi mỉm cười đáp, “Dạ bệnh… Bệnh lười.” Thế là hai cha con cùng cúp cua. Cũng đã lâu tôi không được cơ hội đi chơi riêng với nó.

Tôi đưa nó đến Dunkin Donut rồi gọi một món ăn sáng nó thích: miếng và thịt ba chỉ chiên dòn được gói lại trong cái bánh tráng Mể. Nó muốn thêm một cái donut tôi cũng cho. Trong lúc nó ăn thì tôi lục đục mở iPhone lên tìm chổ đi chơi. Định đưa nó qua Port Discovery bên Baltimore nhưng chổ đó đóng cửa vào ngày thứ Hai. Tôi chọn Kid Junction vì ở gần nhà và tôi nhớ lúc trước Đạo có đi sinh nhật một đứa bạn ở đó. Kid Junction có chổ leo trèo và chỗ tuột tụi nhỏ nó cũng thích.

Không chỉ chơi playground, Đán còn muốn đi chơi công viên nước nên tôi gọi điện thoại nhờ mẹ nó xoạn dùm cho hai cha con đồ tắm. Mẹ nó cũng biết gần Kid Junction có một chổ tắm trong nhà. Tôi ghé lại nhà lấy đồ. Đán thấy mẹ như không còn đòi mommy như lúc sáng.

Hai cha con đến Kid Junction lúc 10 giờ sáng tưởng rằng sẽ không có ai nhưng ngược lại đã có sáu hoặc bảy mẹ (chắc là stay-at-home mom) đưa con đến chơi. Đán muốn tôi leo trèo và tuột cùng nó. Chơi cả hai tiếng đồng hồ tôi mệt và đói nên gọi món chicken tenders (gà chien dòn). Đán ăn một cây cà rem rồi ăn một miếng gà. Nó ăn thêm một cây ca rem nữa và ăn một miếng gà. Nó đòi thêm cây thứ ba tôi không cho. Thế là hai cha con cùng nhau chơi videogame cho đến một giờ trưa. Thấy nó cũng hơn chán nên tôi rủ nó đi chơi nước.

Chỗ chơi nước có cầu tuột nhưng lại không có nước phun. Anh lifeguard nói đến bốn giờ chiều họ mới mở nước phun. Trong bồn tấm vắng vẻ. Chừng năm người lớn và một thằng bé Hàng Quốc cự tuổi thằng Đán. Thằng bé ít nói nên Đán chỉ chơi với ba nó thôi. Hai cha con bơi lội đến hai giờ rưỡi chưa. Thấy nó buồn ngủ nên tôi đưa nó ra xe. Chúng tôi ghé qua chợ Đại Hàng mua cho mẹ nó một số hộp me ngọt. Dạo này mẹ nó bị nghiện ăn me ngọt.

Sau khi rời chợ thì nó ngủ trên xe nên tôi đành lái dòng dòng nghe nhạc cho nó ngủ. Lúc nó thức dậy cũng đã bốn giờ rưỡi thế là hết ngày. Về đến nhà anh Đạo đi học đã về. Gia đình hộp lại mua pizza ăn tối. Mông rằng sáng thứ Ba Đán sẽ chịu đi nhà trẻ.

Bỏ làm một ngày dành thời gian cho con rất đáng. Nếu như đi làm sáng thứ Hai tôi cũng sẽ không vui. Cứ nghỉ đến cái mặt sầu thảm của nó. Thú thật thì với con tuy ngoài thì cứng rắn nhưng trong tâm rất mềm nên tôi không biết cách ứng phó với tụi nó. Tôi không lúc nào cũng chìu chuộn tụi nó. Tuy nhiên không cầm được khi phải đối xử nặng với tụi nó. Bây giờ mới biết làm cha không dể nhưng đã quá muộn màng.

Yesterday, Đán held a flashlight with his left hand and opened my eyelids to exam with his right. After that he instructed me: “Now take off your clothes.” I laughed my ass off. At three and a half, he could be quite charming when he wants to. Unfortunately that only happens about 10 percent of the time. The other 90 percent of the time is quite the oposite.

He is at his worse when he gets up from his nap. He snaps just like that. Somehow Đạo had gone through this routine as well when he was at Đán’s age. Now Đán is doing the same but with a much worst tantrum. I simply can’t cope with it so I let his mom deal with it. She is much better than me.

On Saturday, we took Samantha, Eric and the kids out to bowling. Đán couldn’t wait until his turn to bowl. He simply wanted to bowl continuously. When we tried to explain to him about the game, he kicked he his bowling shoes and pushed him mom. When we couldn’t get him to calm down, we took him out to the car. I guess we won’t come back to bowling until he understands the concept of self-control.

This morning when I dropped Đán off at his class, the kids were lining up at the door to go somewhere. The boy who stood by the door got his fingers jammed near the hinges. I put my finger between that metal door just to test it out and it hurt like hell. Poor kid. I hope he is doing ok.

Đán didn’t get lectured today because the teacher was busy trying to see of his classmate was OK. As I left for work, he held a girl’s hand and looked back as they were walking somewhere. Yesterday his teacher gave him a lecture on how he should be coming class just like anyone else and not clinging to daddy. Yes, he still does it.

I have to carry him everywhere we go now because he is so used to being carried into class. It’s my fault because I am trying to get him into class as quick as possible because I am always running late for work. My morning exercise has been carrying him on my shoulder and running into his classroom. Now he’s getting used to it.

At home he always chases his brother down and wrestles him. He plays rough with his cousin and disobeys parents. Last night he threw a bucket of toys at me. I yelled and made him picked up all of the toys. After he had done so I asked him why did he do that and he thought that I was laughing at him. I didn’t realize that I did.

This troublesome 3.5 is so stressful. The constant fighting, jumping, and screaming is so exhausting. Đạo had gone through this stage. He’s now well-behaved for most of the time, but his brother is going through it. I really hope this phase goes away soon.

He could be so sweet when he wanted to. He could use his words skillfully when he wanted to. He could also snap so easily. Life with kids just doesn’t get any easier I suppose.

A week before vacation, Đán slipped and landed face down on the slippery floor at a Pho joint. His lips bled and swollen.

At the airport last Wednesday, he ran into the window like a bird crashing into glass. He looked like he had half a lime in his forehead.

At the resort, I kept warning him and brother not to jump on the bed, and course they didn’t listen. On day four, he landed on the concrete floor with his forehead again. The impact also made his nose bled.

On a way home, we stopped by a Pho place (a different one), he decided to open a closet door and got his finger jammed in between. The result was that he slept in the car and all night long.

Đạo was sick all last week. He threw up every time he ate. At nights his fever shot up to 105.9°F. I had to keep him comfortable with lukewarm towel and Tylenol. He only made it to one day of school last week. Starting this week, Đán is getting sick. He has been out of daycare for two days. He’ll probably be out tomorrow as well. When Đán is sick, he is completely different person. He sits still and doesn’t bother his brother. When he’s not sick. He’s is a handful.

Taking care of sick kids is one of the challenges of being a parent. Fortunate for us, both of our jobs are flexible for us to juggling with it. The thing is that we need to stay healthy as we can. As soon as I feel sluggish, I take medication right away. As soon as I started to cough, I take Delsym immediately. I can’t afford to be sick at the moment.

I have been dealing with shit since we started potty train Đán during the holidays. It hasn’t been too successful. I take him to pee pee every hour or two, but he doesn’t like to sit on the toilet to do number two. Accidents happened every day and I had to wash his clothes. He doesn’t seem to be ready yet.

Đán is getting closed to be three and a half, at the point when Đạo stopped wearing diaper completely. He just did it on his own. One day he decided to get rid of his diaper. We didn’t train him much. He had one or two pee pee accidents, but no poo poo.

Maybe we should just wait for Đán to decide for himself when he feels ready.

Last Thursday I stayed up until two in the morning to create two ABC charts for Đạo and Đán. Since Đạo is learning to write, he needed an ABC chart to reference some of the letters he couldn’t remember how to write. To use my design skills, I created a chart for him based on The Legend of Chima, one of his latest favorite TV shows. The design didn’t take very long, but the search for the images and the selection of characters took a bit of time.

I also designed a chart for Đán based on Thomas and Friends. The letters for both of the charts are set in the classic Bembo. At first I was going to use a sans serif, but Đạo was confused between the letter I and l; therefore, I settled on a serif for better distinction between the two.

I hope to get the charts printed at Kinko’s tomorrow to see how they turn out. Obviously the graphics are copyright materials. I even used a disclaimer on the chart. I only use them to help my kids learn the alphabet and not making any money. I hope they won’t come after me. If they do, I just take them off Pinterest.