This morning when I dropped Đán off at his class, the kids were lining up at the door to go somewhere. The boy who stood by the door got his fingers jammed near the hinges. I put my finger between that metal door just to test it out and it hurt like hell. Poor kid. I hope he is doing ok.

Đán didn’t get lectured today because the teacher was busy trying to see of his classmate was OK. As I left for work, he held a girl’s hand and looked back as they were walking somewhere. Yesterday his teacher gave him a lecture on how he should be coming class just like anyone else and not clinging to daddy. Yes, he still does it.

I have to carry him everywhere we go now because he is so used to being carried into class. It’s my fault because I am trying to get him into class as quick as possible because I am always running late for work. My morning exercise has been carrying him on my shoulder and running into his classroom. Now he’s getting used to it.

At home he always chases his brother down and wrestles him. He plays rough with his cousin and disobeys parents. Last night he threw a bucket of toys at me. I yelled and made him picked up all of the toys. After he had done so I asked him why did he do that and he thought that I was laughing at him. I didn’t realize that I did.

This troublesome 3.5 is so stressful. The constant fighting, jumping, and screaming is so exhausting. Đạo had gone through this stage. He’s now well-behaved for most of the time, but his brother is going through it. I really hope this phase goes away soon.

He could be so sweet when he wanted to. He could use his words skillfully when he wanted to. He could also snap so easily. Life with kids just doesn’t get any easier I suppose.

A week before vacation, Đán slipped and landed face down on the slippery floor at a Pho joint. His lips bled and swollen.

At the airport last Wednesday, he ran into the window like a bird crashing into glass. He looked like he had half a lime in his forehead.

At the resort, I kept warning him and brother not to jump on the bed, and course they didn’t listen. On day four, he landed on the concrete floor with his forehead again. The impact also made his nose bled.

On a way home, we stopped by a Pho place (a different one), he decided to open a closet door and got his finger jammed in between. The result was that he slept in the car and all night long.

Đạo was sick all last week. He threw up every time he ate. At nights his fever shot up to 105.9°F. I had to keep him comfortable with lukewarm towel and Tylenol. He only made it to one day of school last week. Starting this week, Đán is getting sick. He has been out of daycare for two days. He’ll probably be out tomorrow as well. When Đán is sick, he is completely different person. He sits still and doesn’t bother his brother. When he’s not sick. He’s is a handful.

Taking care of sick kids is one of the challenges of being a parent. Fortunate for us, both of our jobs are flexible for us to juggling with it. The thing is that we need to stay healthy as we can. As soon as I feel sluggish, I take medication right away. As soon as I started to cough, I take Delsym immediately. I can’t afford to be sick at the moment.

I have been dealing with shit since we started potty train Đán during the holidays. It hasn’t been too successful. I take him to pee pee every hour or two, but he doesn’t like to sit on the toilet to do number two. Accidents happened every day and I had to wash his clothes. He doesn’t seem to be ready yet.

Đán is getting closed to be three and a half, at the point when Đạo stopped wearing diaper completely. He just did it on his own. One day he decided to get rid of his diaper. We didn’t train him much. He had one or two pee pee accidents, but no poo poo.

Maybe we should just wait for Đán to decide for himself when he feels ready.

Last Thursday I stayed up until two in the morning to create two ABC charts for Đạo and Đán. Since Đạo is learning to write, he needed an ABC chart to reference some of the letters he couldn’t remember how to write. To use my design skills, I created a chart for him based on The Legend of Chima, one of his latest favorite TV shows. The design didn’t take very long, but the search for the images and the selection of characters took a bit of time.

I also designed a chart for Đán based on Thomas and Friends. The letters for both of the charts are set in the classic Bembo. At first I was going to use a sans serif, but Đạo was confused between the letter I and l; therefore, I settled on a serif for better distinction between the two.

I hope to get the charts printed at Kinko’s tomorrow to see how they turn out. Obviously the graphics are copyright materials. I even used a disclaimer on the chart. I only use them to help my kids learn the alphabet and not making any money. I hope they won’t come after me. If they do, I just take them off Pinterest.

My wife is usually responsible for walking Đạo to school and picking him up; therefore, I only get to do it when I have a chance at home. When time to go home, he would look to see if one of his family members would come to pick him up. Every time he saw me, his face lid up. He raised his hand proudly to let the teachers know that his daddy had come to pick him up.

Several days before Thanksgiving, I joined him for lunch at school. He was so joyful to see me meeting him up for lunch. As We sat at the round table enjoying the turkey meal with other kids and their parent, one kid sat by himself and cried. He didn’t eat anything. Dao asked, “What was wrong with [the boy’s name]?” His other friend replied, “He’s sad because his…” His mom quickly covered his mouth. I didn’t notice it at first, but was the boy at the table without his parent.

Witnessing that made me realized how important our presence is to our children. We should be with them as much as we can.

Đán loves chicken as much as his daddy; therefore, he always eats the chicken and shares the bones with his daddy.

Yesterday when picking him up from daycare, I gave him a bag of gummy fruit snack and asked him if he could give me one. He replied, “No daddy, you have to drive.” No eat and drive makes perfect sense.

The other night when we were cleaning up some the toys, Đán sang, “Clean up, clean up. Everybody do your share.” It was so beautiful.

One morning we came into class, Lincoln, his best buddy, gave him a hug. Then Sean, another buddy, gave them both a hug. Then the whole class joined in. The teachers and I stood in awe. What a joyful hug fest.

A conversation in Vietnamese between daddy and Đán:
Daddy: Train tiếng Việt là gì?
Đán: Xe lửa.
Daddy: Xe lửa có mấy bánh?
Đán: Xe lửa has no cake.

My little boy turned three last Saturday. Because his birthday falls into the Thanksgiving weekend, we didn’t invite friends or extended family. We just had a low key party for him with both grandmas, his aunt, uncle, cousin and of course the three of us.

The best thing about turning three is that the terrible two is going away. Two was rough. Three is a bit better. We can communicate more. Đán is actually very expressive. He picks up words very fast. Although he doesn’t speak much Vietnamese, he understands everything we say to him.

Despite being strict on him, Đán is still very attach to me. Sometimes I felt horrible for being that way with him repeatedly, but he seems to understand now. I rather be hard on for a short time than letting him spoiled. I have learned that lesson from Đạo. In the past few weeks, Đán’s behavior is getting better. As a result, our time together is much more enjoyable. Let’s improve this aspect.

You must be thinking that I am being too strict on you or that I don’t love you. My dear child, I love you more than life itself and I would provide you anything I could in the world, but I also need you to know the limitation. You might get what you need, but you can’t always get what you want.

When I came to pick you up on Monday, you looked into your lunch bag and didn’t see your juice. You snapped and cried. Your favorite teacher, Miss Melissa who is pregnant, picked you up to see why you cried and you said you wanted juice. I didn’t want her to carry a 37-pound boy while holding another baby in her bell so I took you from her and promised you that we would go to the store to get some juice. You calmed down and we headed to Trader’s Joe. You enjoyed pushing the baby shopping cart around while I picked up some snacks. When we headed to the juice section, you picked out your favorite lemonade packs. We went to pay and the the cashier gave you some stickers for being a good boy. In the car, I gave you your lemonade box and you finished it in just a few minutes. We went home to have dinner.

Last night as we walked to our car to go home, you wanted us to go to the store to get more juice. I said that we had nice and cool lemonade at home waiting for you to drink, but you insisted that you wanted to go buy some juice. You started hitting me with your bag of trains. I took it away and you broke down and cried. You sat on the sidewalk and refused to walk. Other kids starring at you and their parents told them to keep on walking. As I walked off toward our car, you got up and ran after me.

As we got into the car, you kicked and screamed. I remained silent, focused on driving and waited for you to cool down. When we reached to the point I thought I could talk to you I said that, “Mommy is making some chocolate cookies at home for you and Đạo. Do you like cookie?” You responded, “Yes, I like some cookies with my lemonade.” You were fine again.

I could have taken you back to the store, but I didn’t want you to get the idea that we have to go to the store everyday. It hurt me more to be strict with you, but I am doing it for your own good. You might think that I treat you unfairly because you could see that your cousin could get whatever he wanted and you don’t. I made that mistake with Đạo when he was going through the same phrase that you are facing and it took him a long time to get his self-control together. I need you to get over it the sooner the better.

Being a parent is very hard. You will go through this when you become a father yourself. Now I understand why I was spanked at home and at school when I was a kid. I did learn to be disciplined. Time has changed and the roles have reversed. You hit me with your bag of trains just like other kids hitting their parents I have witnessed. When you grow older you’ll learn how disrespect that is do to to your parents. Just because your parents don’t hit you back doesn’t mean other kids your age won’t. So learn to keep your hands to yourself will prevent you from getting hurts from other kids.

I am writing this letter to you on my iPhone while watching you sleep like a little angel. I love you so much my dear and I hope you will understand why I did what I did. I am not a great parent, but I do the best I can.

We met with Đạo’s teacher today to go over his progress and one of the things that we need to work on is his self-control. He pushed his classmates when they cut in front of him at the lunch line or did something he didn’t like. His temper and self-control had been one of the things that we have worked on since daycare. He is getting much better than previous years, but not quite there yet.

Đán is going through the same phrase. When he gets mad, he is uncontrollable. He can break down quite easily. I have been a bit tough on him. If he wanted to yell, I wouldn’t stop him. I just let him do it until he calms down. It has been very stressful. Even though I could sense that he was about to break down and try to avoid it,
sometimes I was just too slow to react. I am terrible at dealing with those types of urgency.

I am not sure if everyone had those moments in their lives, but I also have that self-control issue. Obviously the older you get; the more self-discipline you possess. The simply have no choice. Wether dealing with the people you love or the people you work with, or the people you have deal with, you need to be able to control your emotion.

Blogging in the past had been a place for me to vent and spewed off my anger and emotion. Now I am much cooler and haven’t used a curse words for a long time. My topics have also changed. I no longer write much about my own emotions.