48

I turned 48 today. I am getting older, but not wiser. I still trip up every now and then. I damn near lost everything I love. I don’t want to go back to square one. I need to control my emotions and my words.

At this point in my life, I am learning to let go. Let go of anything irritating me. Let go of anything frustrating me. Let go of anything infuriating me. Let go of anything outside of my control. It’s for my own mental health and well being.

My relationships with friends, family, and even the closest ones to me had changed. I can no longer let down my guards. I cannot let people inside my head and my heart. I still care and still worry, but I just have to keep them in me. It’s a big shift for me, but I have to make a change. I can change no one else but myself. I have learned to control my anger. I have learned to avoid confrontation. I have learned to mind only my own business.

My health is in good shape. I play various sports to keep myself active. I read and write to keep my mind sharp. I just went through a colonoscopy procedure two weeks ago. I am taking medications to control my gout and cholesterol. I am reducing my alcohol intake down to a social level.

I am thankful to be alive at 48. I am grateful to be around the people I love. I am going to take things easy. I am going to relax. I am going to stop worrying. I am going to take life as it comes. At 48, I am more than halfway through life.