Every two minutes, an American woman is raped,
her body forced open in the time it takes me to tear
this organic tomato to its pulpy center and bite in,
letting juice run down my chin, stinging.

This tomato a celebration on my tongue reminding me
of the night we spent six hundred dollars on dinner for two,
as that man in Colorado loaded guns into his car.

Food arrived on silk pillows: tiny, purple carrots,
radishes like marbles-fairy vegetables-and a miniature,
individual loaf of bread for each course, and each course
with its own silverware and army of people washing in the back.

As we clinked our glasses together,
he checked his ammunition and gas mask,
and people wondered, popcorn or candy.

This morning, I ran through a forest kept tidy
by rich people like me, Eminem shuffling smoothly
through my iPhone. Somewhere in China,
a young man folded his ruined hands in his lap.

My palms were raised, open.
I imagined texting prayers straight to Heaven: OMG. OMG.
Thank You for this world of green grass and suffering.

Francesca Bell

Donnytruong.com gets a new set of types. Instead just using one sans-serif typeface, I wanted to combine several typefaces to give my portfolio a bit more flavor. For the large heading, I chose Gimlet Banner. For subheadings and user interface elements, I chose Gimlet Sans. For body copy, I wanted to return to a serif face; therefore, I chose Warbler Text. All three typefaces designed by David Jonathan Ross and they are from his excellent Font of the Month Club.

The way I am choosing a poetry book is to read the first poem. If the first poem could grab my attention, I would read the rest. The first sentence of Francesca Bell’s What Small Sound reads: “Every two minutes, an American woman is raped.” I read the entire collection on my commute. Bell’s writing is raw, poignant, and personal. My favorites were “Jubilations,” “Instrument Left in Its Case,” “Becoming,” “Tutor,” and “Love in the Time of Covid-19.”

My phone rang. The area code was in Virginia and my phone didn’t flag it as a spam call. I picked it up just in case the call was from my kids’ school. The lady on the other line greeted me and said something about my home I didn’t understand. I asked her to clarify and she made me an offer on my property. I replied, “Sure, two million dollars.” She said, “Thank you, have a good day.” Then she hang up. I guess she was not interested in my property after all.

I republished selected projects I worked on during my time at George Washington School of Business. Good old memories. I am glad that I had kept many of them for posterity.

I launched a tiny website for Global Wealth Management in our WordPress Multisite network. I republished the case study for Le Mekong Cuisine even though I no longer worked on the website. I also republished the case study for I Love Ngọc Lan.

The purpose of a portfolio is to showcase your best work. For me, I want to keep an archive of all the designs I have done. Maybe I’ll trim it down when I need to find a job, but I’m not looking at the moment. I still have a few more projects I would like to republish.

In the last few days, I recollected screenshots of designs I had worked on during my time at Vassar (from 2002 to 2008). For posterity, check out homepage banners, homepage redesigns, and site designs. They brought back so much memories.

On Saturday, I went to 99 Ranch and spotted black sesame cereal. Memories of my mother rushed in. I bought a bag to drink in the morning so I could remember her. I can still recall those winter mornings when my mom made me a piping hot cup of black sesame cereal before I walked in the freezing cold to school. I almost wept thinking about her and her unconditional love for me.

My mother devoted her whole life to me, especially when we migrated to the United States. Without my father, her focus was solely on me. In retrospect, I wish she had lived her life and made me part of her life. Because she bet everything she had on me, I faced the pressure of not letting down. I knew I had to make her proud. I could see that she worried about my presence as well as my future. She put all of her hopes and dreams in me; therefore, failing wouldn’t be an option. I knew I had to get that college paper.

I carry the same mentality as a father now. I worry about my kids way too much. I am afraid that they are getting addicted to digital devices. Telling them why I don’t want them to spend too much time on their devices only backfires. They think I hate them and ruin their lives. It is much harder to reforge the rule if I am the only one to think they shouldn’t spend too much time on their devices.

My wife and I have different methods of parenting and we often clash. To make peace, I am backing off. At the same time, I don’t want to give them the pressure like my mother did for me. I don’t want to devote my entire life to them. I don’t want to love them unconditionally. I have to trust that they will figure it out on their own. Every opportunity I could give, I already offered to them. If they fail or succeed, they will have to own it. I can’t spend my whole life worrying them. I will accept however they will turn out.

I am not sure how they will do. I can’t predict the future. I just have to wait and see. For now, I just need to enjoy the time we spend on earth together. I don’t know when I will go given my current health condition. Even though I am not in great shape, I am feeling fine. I can still do many sports, but I just don’t know.

I am having a blast working with a high-level incompetence. I layed out all the issues so that later on I can say, “I told you so.” If we are not tackling the challenges now, they will come back and bite us later on. I have been in this game for so long that I can foresee what will go down. I offer my advice and expertise. Take it or leave it. Just don’t blame me for all the fuck-ups later on. I have spoken up and documented my concerns; therefore, I will not take responsibility for the decisions I didn’t make.

I have learned to play along. As far as I am concerned, I am fine if they pay me no mind, just pay me money. I am not in a position to make my case or to prove my skills. If my position is based on my level of competence, I am secured. Then again, nothing is secure and stable. I can’t spend my time worrying about the future. I just have to take it one day at a time. Que sera, sera.

I have many things else to keep me occupied. I am going to be alright. I won’t let anybody else or anything else hold me down. I just have to keep on moving. I have been around the block long enough to keep myself sane and focus. I don’t let all the distractions get in my way. I have a family to look after. That’s where I am at right now.

Winnie Lim moved her sites from DigitalOcean to OpalStack. Winnie writes:

I decided I didn’t want to manage my own servers anymore – it got tiresome having to install updates every so often – so after some research I found out that some ex-employees from webfaction started opalstack, so that is where I moved her website to. I like that is is very much like webfaction, it is almost like a vps with ssh but it is managed.

I feel Winnie. It gets tiresome having updates my droplets every few months. Then again having to manage my own servers keeps me in the game. I need all the technical skills to do my full-time job in my position as a director. I don’t need to do it myself. I just need to know my shit. As far as moving off DigitalOcean, I don’t know where I want to move to.

Winnie is also concerned about the longevity of her site:

I am still concerned about what happens to my website after I am gone, and also the actual longevity of opalstack since it is a small friendly company. But well sometimes we just have to take a leap of faith.

I worried about my sites after I die as well, but I have come to accept that when I am gone my sites will be gone with me as well. If I lose my sites tomorrow, I will definitely be sad, but I will move on.