They say when you married someone you’ll married her whole family. I am grateful to be part of such a loving, bonding, harmonizing family. Make no mistake. I am now inseparable from the clan, but looking from an outsider point of view, the week-long annual reunion is a remarkable effort, something my side of the family hasn’t been able to organize for over ten years. We had one back in 1997 and it was the most memorable gathering yet.

What makes the annual event successful is the commitment from the elders. They show us the value of family’s bonding time. Despite their frail health and hardship of mobility, they managed to attend every year. The youngsters, on the other hand, are the ones that need to step up our game and do our part. We need to cherish these invaluable moments.

For me, seeing Cu Dao playing and laughing with his cousins he might only get to see once a year melted my heart; therefore, my wife and I will make the family reunion our top priority when planning our vacation time.

Today marks our third anniversary. Three years aren’t that long, but the changes have been tremendous. Our relationship has turned from romantic to realistic. Maybe that’s the way marriage works over time. We share the same goals, but not necessarily the same views. We argue at times, but we enjoys each other’s presence. We have our own issues, but we help each other to get by. We go through tough times, but we manage to stay strong. We work hard to build our family.

For the past two years, we devoted our attention on our boy. He has been our challenge, but also our joy. He sometimes makes us upset, but also makes us laugh. He wears us out, but also provides us strength. He gives us the true meaning of responsibility and spontaneity. Our lives never seem to stand still when he’s awake, yet we enjoy every moment of it, and so to make our family even livelier, we will be welcoming a new member by the end of this year. Yes, Dao will have a brother or sister to play with. We are thrilled!

So three years are just the beginning of our journey. The road ahead will not be smooth and we will be facing more tough time, but I am positive that we can get through as long as we stay together and support each other. At this point in my life, nothing is more important than a strong, loving family. Happy anniversary!

In another hour and half, 2010 will be gone. While waiting for the countdown, let’s take a quick retrospection.

2010 treated me not so bad at all. Our little family was doing great. It was a wonderful experience to see Dao’s progression from walking to talking to learning something new everyday. It was a joy to see him grows and I am looking forward to even more exciting activities from him next year.

In the tough economy Dana and I managed to pull through. Although I am glad that neither of our job was affected, I hope that we will do even better next year.

As for my work as GWSB, the Unified Web Project was one of the best things that happened at the university. I had a chance to know and work with a group of talented web developers from various schools within GW. I am looking forward to more collaborative effort next year.

Looking back at my own work, I am very proud with the sites I have launched, particularly Sketches of Miles, Le Mekong Vietnamese Cuisine, Julie Tran Law, Easy License Renewal and United Green Solutions. I am looking forward to more exciting projects next year.

So 2011, bring it on.

After hitting the publish button on my last post about my dad, my phone rang. A cousin in Viet Nam called and we talked briefly about my dad. Since his retirement, he seems bored and lonely. He doesn’t go anywhere and just stays in the house his older brother provided to him.

One of the strengths on my dad side of the family is that they take great care of each other. Even my gambling uncle is provided with care. As long as he doesn’t gamble, he could have a place to stay. I appreciate the family’s structure and foundation. We respect the elders from the top down through many generations. My dad once told me that his oldest brother is like his parent after my grandparents passed away. The problem with my dad though he doesn’t know how to balance between his big family and his immediate family. The result is that we always come second to his big family.

That was his decision and as a son all that I can do is respecting his choice. Even now when is all by himself, he doesn’t even express that to me. Our communication is totally wrecked. I was thinking to myself yesterday. What if I just take two or three weeks off go back to Viet Nam and just lock myself in with him 24/7. We’ll just hang out and travel together as father and son, something we had never done. Will that help reconnect our relationship?

While driving home, Dana said to me, “You and your dad doesn’t have much to say to each other, huh?” I nodded my head agreed.

My dad calls my mom every Saturday morning. Since we were in town, mom handed me the phone and I did the same thing I do every time I talk to him. I asked him about his health and then the rest of his brothers and sisters. After that we just stayed silence and I handed the phone back to my mom. She then passed the phone to Cu Dao so he could say, “Hello Ong Noi” (Hi grandpa).

My relationship with my dad is actually better than ever, but the distance between us physically and emotionally is still far away. Even though the time we spend apart is way too long, he is still my dad and I will do anything I can for him. He never asks me for anything since he must have felt that he has not done much for me. I learn everything about him through my mother. Even after we spoke over the phone, I had to ask my mom about his health and if he needed anything.

Plenty of time I told myself to get over the past and let just pick up where we left off, but then where do we start? We are now living in two different worlds. Will our worlds ever become one again? Will we ever be under the same roof again? Right now I don’t have an answer and I don’t think he does either. We’re just letting time passing us by.

I got home from work around 6:15pm, but Dana and Duke weren’t home. After taking a shower, I could hear them in the living room. Dana handed Duke over to me to give him a bath so she could cook some dinner. I fed him a bowl full of porridge and hang out with him while Dana was still cooking.

I peeped into the kitchen and there were Vietnamese salad, mussels and lobster tails. I asked her what is the special occasion? She replied, “It’s our anniversary.” Holy crap, I totally forgot about it. I popped open a bottle of white wine, the one that I brought to her place the first time she invited me over for dinner. I was so nervous that I dropped the bottle on the floor and we had to clean it up.

Anyway dinner was delicious. We had to rush a bit because Cu Dao was sleepy and fussy. Dana put him to bed so I just kick back and watched some American Idol. Crystal Bowersox dominated the show and she’ll win for sure. Then Glee came on. I was expecting more of Lady Gaga covers, but it was not the case. The show was still enjoyable though.

After the show, I clean up the table and put the dishes into the machine. Dana came down and now we’re sharing a chocolate mousse and a cup of tea while I quickly put this post together before the night end.

I called my old man last night and he happened to be doing some work at the temple he helped built when I was five. He handed the phone over to chi My Chau, the youngest monk who treated me like her little brother when I lived in the temple. We chatted and she brought back some of the fondest memories of my life. I ran from the school back to the temple without my books and bag because I was afraid of getting flu shot. She remembered the times she walked me to school and picked me up at the end of the day. She reminded me our favorite dish: “gasoline” fried rice. I once asked Su Co (the second highest monk) how she made such delicious fried rice and she told me she used gasoline. The joke stuck.

One of the biggest reasons I loved to stay at the temple was chi My Chau. We played together and she made me all kind of fun toys like kites, coconut-leaf animals, paper airplane and plastic lanterns. We lived a simple life. We woke up in the morning. We prayed with Su Co and Su Ba (the highest monk). We had meatless breakfast and I headed to school. After school we had lunch, we prayed and then I got to take a nap. After that I got up, played and watered the flowers. We had some time to study before dinner was served.

Chi My Chau, who is at least five years older than me, is one of the sweetest ladies I have met in my life. I don’t know exactly how she ended up at the temple and I don’t know much about her background. Unlike me she was either born to be a monk or she didn’t have a choice. She was sent to the temple and that is how she lives for the rest of her life. She got to go to school, but never got to experience the life outside the temple. Sometimes I think about her and keep wonder how she does it.

I still recall my last day at the temple. Chi My Chau was sad and mad at me for leaving. I could see the disappointment written all over her face. She seemed lonely. Until this day, I could never forget that expression. From that moment on, my life had changed forever.

I went back home and started first grade. At the time, I was obsessed with video games (Contra, Natra and Mario Brothers), billiards and Chinese TV series (Natra, Te Thien, Vo Tat Thien). I even stole money from my mom to feed my addiction. I can’t even imagine how messed up my life would have been if I didn’t come to America.

Migrated to the States was another life-changing experience for me. I was lonely and felt as if I was deaf and muted. I couldn’t make any friends and I couldn’t hang out with American kids. I got picked on and laughed at. At that point, I really missed the time I was living in the temple. I loved the calmness atmosphere and the times I spent with chi My Chau. I had thought of going back, but it was impossible at that time and my mind was already corrupted. There is no turning back, but I still hope one day I could go back to the temple and relive some of that peaceful experience.

The wedding turned out to be one of the happiest days of my life. Although it was not perfect (which wedding is perfect?), I am proud of the fact that we had made the most out of it. So here is a brief recap of how the day went.

I woke up at five thirty in the morning. Aunt 9 who flew in from Texas and I took a walk around the park to catch up on family matters. We went back to my mom’s little apartment to get ready. Our family left together from my sister’s house at a bit passed eight to get to the bride’s resident in Flanders, New Jersey for the ceremony. We arrived a few blocks from the house to get everyone together for the walk-in tradition. The ceremony was kept short, simple but no less moving. The bride looked gorgeous in the red traditional dress (ao dai). She was indeed the brightest star of the day. The most memorial part of the morning is when both side of the family were in tears. They were happy for both of us.

After the ceremony, light brunch was served. At that time Dung and I escaped the scene with the photographer for some photo shoots at the gorgeous campus of Princeton University. We hit a bit of snag trying to find the place we wanted because we weren’t familiar with the area. Big thanks to the photographer for being patience with us. Not sure how the photos will turn out, but he did a great job of getting us relax and felt comfortable in front of the camera.

The reception, which took place at Golden City Chinese Restaurant, was to start at six thirty, but we were there at six because the campus photo shoot turned to be longer than what we had planned. Thanks to my wife’s sister and her future husband for setting up the whole place for us. When we got there the place looked warm, intimate and elegant. Guests began to arrive at around six thirty and the place almost filled at seven thirty so we got the party started.

Big thanks to our beautiful MC with a lovely voice for holding down the program. After visiting my blog and having read our Love Notes, she was able to incorporate some of the lyrics into her introduction. Father of the bride gave a warm, heartfelt speech thanking our guests for coming. My speech also turned out decent after I had a few drinks.

What kept the wedding exciting had to be the music band. Thu Hoai and the Magic Night band brought down the house. Thanks Thu Hoai for covered Ngo Thuy Mien’s “Niem Khuc Cuoi” with such a romantic vibe as well as the special dedication to my mother with “Me Hien Yeu Dau.” The young crowd at my table loved her version of “Vi Do La Em” without even clear understanding of the lyrics. Big props go to the band for keeping everyone on the floor all night long. We started our first dance early on so that folks could come out and dance. We even chucked out the traditional formal greetings so that people could have more time to enjoy the music. Dung and I went around and greeted everyone individually.

The music was great. The wine was tasty. The cake was awesome. The food was fantastic. Everyone seemed to enjoy the party. Most folks stayed and danced until eleven thirty at night. Everything was perfect until the next day. About a dozen of folks including myself got sick from the food. I am still recovering and hopefully I can go on to Jamaica tomorrow. I apologize to anyone who came to the reception and got sick from the food. I made the call to the restaurant immediately and the owner blamed it on the weather. Although the food was good, I wouldn’t even reconsider Golden City Chinese Restaurant for future occasions. Once again, I truly apologize.

The documentary section of Van Son in Philippines brings back so much memories, especially the reminiscing part of Bataan where I had lived for six and a half months. Fifteen years has passed, but that special place, which was filled with sorrow, joy and anxiety, has not once departed from my heart. Coincidentally, Van Son and I were in the same 136’s cycle, which means we arrived in Bataan about the same time; therefore, most of the things he said hit my recollecting chord: the bunk camp (two families jammed in one little crib), the stringed bridge (cau treo), the food-distributing arguments (mom was responsible for dividing up the foods), the “monkey house” (for misbehaviors), the monastery and the entertainment park. One thing Van Son didn’t mention that holds a personal memory for me was the ping-pong recreation. I used to make my own paddles from either a piece of flat wood or blackboard. They weren’t the best, not to mention that they were square shaped instead of round, but they gave me an opportunity to learn how to play. The net was made up of a stick placed on two bricks. It was the coolest game ever. Even though those days were not heaven, they were not so bad comparing to the unfortunate ones who still stuck there. It’s heartbreaking to see our people being alienated in a foreign country, and still struggling after fifteen years trying to find a better place to live. Let’s hope and pray for those who are still left behind to reach their final destination.

My break has been good so far. Spending time with family and friends and mostly with Samantha and Eric (my niece and nephew). They are so adorable and it is just a joy to watch them play and grow.

I have been eating like crazy too. Finally getting some real Vietnamese food such as Bun Mam and Canh Mang. I took some photos and will post them when I get back to Poughkeepsie. I will probably create a food catagory so you can drool on.

Today, I went back to La Salle to pick up my transcript in order for me to take some classes at Vassar. While I was there, I visited some of my professors and classmates in the DArt program. Here is a photo of me and Prof. McCoey featuring on La Salle’s portal. It was nice to see them again.

I also picked up quite a few Vietnamese CDs in Philly’s Chinatown. Actually 10 altogether (mostly Tuan Ngoc, Nguyen Khang and Ngoc Lan) so I can enjoy for two weeks and during the road trips.

That’s it for now. I’ll be back later. It’s time to hit the park with my hommies for some volleyball games. Peace out!