For months, Vương used the phrase, “What the heck!” on a daily basis. The day after he turned three, he switched to “What the fuck!” My jaw dropped the first time I heard him say that with a smile on his face. To be honest though, I found his cuss to be quite cute. I just can’t get mad at him. I also can’t imagine what other people will say or think if they hear a three-year-old using that phrase. He must have picked it up from YouTube. We let him watch more YouTube than he should since both my wife and I have to work. I have gone back to the office Monday through Wednesday. When I work from home on Thursday and Friday, I try to take him to the playgrounds and lunch. Yesterday, I drove him to a playground around 10 in the morning and fell asleep. I parked my car, pulled out my phone, and worked. By work, I meant answering emails. I have a new, wonderful assistant who can help me do the tasks so I can be away from my laptop for a few hours.

Xuân started kindergarten this year. Due to the Delta variant, I was not sure if he should attend in person, home-schooling, or just delay a year. My wife didn’t want to take him out for the year. Neither of us has the time to devote to his home-schooling. With hesitation, we sent him in person. It turned out well for him. Xuân is very sociable. He makes friends easily. In his first few days of school, he told us that he has five friends and he can speak Spanish. As far as Covid, there have been a few cases. The school has done a great job of keeping everyone safe. Xuân has been getting used to wearing a mask all day.

Đán is doing well in fourth grade so far. He shows tremendous improvement. In his first progress report, he had mostly 3s and a few 2s for things like not listening to his teachers, not following directions, not being organized. We talked and I made a deal with him. Any 2s he gets, he would get banned from playing video games. In his second progress report, he got a 2+ for listening, a 3 for following directions, and still a 2 for organizational skills. I didn’t ban him because he made some improvements. In his third progress report, which he received yesterday, he got all 3s except for his organizational skills. I am so glad that the school implemented progress reports often. It helps us and him to see how he is doing so far and where he needs to improve. As long as he continued to keep up the good work, he should be fine. As much as I hate to let him play video games, they are his reward and motivation to do his work in school. Đán wears a mask all the time now even when we go to skateparks. I can’t wait for him to get his Covid shot when his age group is approved.

Đạo is doing exceptionally well in seventh grade. He started secondary school this year and seemed to adjust fine. His first progress report was good except for a C- in Spanish and a D+ in PE. I had to contact his teacher to see he performed so bad in PE since he is quite active. He does rollerblading and ice skating quite often. It turned out that his teacher was on vacation and didn’t get a chance to update his grade after he took a quiz. In his second progress report, his Spanish improved to a B. As long as he keeps up the good work, he should be good to go.

After a year of virtual schooling, it makes me appreciate in-person school even more. Mad props to the teachers, administrators, and staff members for their important role in our children’s education as well as their future.

Cuối tuần vừa rồi gia đình qua nhà chị vợ ăn tối. Chị nướng nguyên con gà nhìn hấp dẫn. Vừa đặt lên bàn ăn thì thằng cháu cắt ngay hay cái đùi gà cho vào đĩa không cần biết bà ngoại và những người lớn xung quanh. Con nít không ai trách cả. Là vai trò người chú, tôi định góp ý với nó nhưng thấy cha mẹ nó im lặng để thằng con thưởng thức cặp đùi gà nên tôi cũng không lên tiếng.

Chiều hôm qua bà xã nướng một khúc cá hồi nhìn khá hấp dẫn, nhất là miếng da giòn rụm. Vừa đem lên bàn thằng Đán lấy ngay miếng da cho vào chén. Tôi nói với nó rằng con cắt một miếng thôi hoặc con hỏi bà ngoại, ba mẹ có ai ăn không cho con xin. Dĩ nhiên người lớn sẽ nhường cho con nhưng con phải hỏi. Nó giận lẫy bỏ lại cả miếng da và chỉ ăn cơm trắng với nước mắt. Tôi cũng mặc kệ nó.

Ngày xưa mẹ thường nhắc nhở tôi khi ăn phải nhìn trước ngó sau, nhất là khi có người lớn. Lúc lấy đồ ăn cũng phải để ý đến người khác. Tuy lúc còn nhỏ không hiểu lắm nhưng tôi cũng làm theo lời mẹ dặn. Lớn lên hiểu được những gì mẹ dạy là lễ phép và tế nhị. Dù ở Mỹ hay ở Việt Nam, chúng ta cần phải có ý thức tuy giờ đây thức ăn không thiếu thốn.

Lúc hè, tôi trò chuyện với cô giáo dạy kèm cho thằng Đán. Tuy là người Mỹ nhưng cô vẫn nhắc nhở nó rằng khi ra đời nó là người đại diện cho cha mẹ. Những biểu hiện của nó sẽ phản ánh đến người lớn. Tôi cảm ơn cô đã thay thế tôi dạy dỗ cho nó không chỉ những bài học trong trường mà luôn cả những ý thức trong đời sống.

Over the summer, I enrolled Đạo and Xuân to private lessons for ice skating. I wanted to see how they do with one-on-one coaching. From what I have observed, they have a lot to relearn. Their coach is detail-oriented and meticulous. She takes the time correcting their footwork and their posture. They spent five weeks working on basic crossovers, which they had learned in group lessons a year ago.

Despite the repetitiveness, they still wanted to do private lessons. The problem is that they don’t want to practice. When I wanted to take them to practice, they resisted and moaned. If they don’t practice they won’t get anywhere in this sport. If they don’t want to practice, they don’t have the passion for the sport. I am fine if they just want to do ice skating for fun. They can go skating once in a while or take group lessons.

Between the coach’s fees and the freestyle ice rink sessions, the private lessons are pricey. I wouldn’t mind paying if they put their heart into it. I do not want to pressure them into it. I want to offer them the opportunity. If they decided to quit, I would honor their decision. I asked both of them again and again, they both said yes that they wanted to continue private lessons. Maybe they do want to continue. Let’s keep them going for a bit longer to see how they do. Will they be able to compete?

Đạo and I hit the skate park in the morning. We had been rollerblading two to three times a week. Đạo is a good skater, but he is very cautious. He stuck with the low, straight ramps. I encouraged him to try the higher, curved pipes, but he declined. Of course, I didn’t force him to do anything he didn’t feel comfortable doing. I took some risks and pushed myself a bit. I fell several times in the past; therefore, I am being careful as well.

After our rollerblading session, we had a brief conversation. I complimented him for saying no to my challenge. He didn’t take the bait and he wasn’t being pressured into doing something that he didn’t want to. I wanted him to apply that concept to his life. He will start seventh grade in two weeks.

Just thinking back to my seventh and eight grades gives me a chill. I had such a rough time; therefore, I do not want him to go through what I went through. I was bullied for being the only Asian kid in class. I was laughed at for not speaking much English. I kept it all to myself because I didn’t know who to turn to. I didn’t tell my mom because I didn’t want her to worry and she couldn’t do anything for me anyway.

I advised Đạo to come to me or his mother if he experienced bullying in school. I reminded him to just walk away from situations where he wouldn’t feel safe or comfortable. I stressed the importance of not being pressured into smoking, taking drugs, drinking alcohol, or doing illegal activities. He understood my advice and I hope he will remember my words when he has to deal with peer pressures.

As the school opening getting closer, the cases of COVID due to the Delta variant are surging. Parents in the Fairfax County Public Schools are worrying. They are petitioning to get the school board to offer a virtual option.

As much as I despise having our kids attending online classes, it is a safer alternative. The issue is that I have to return to my office the same time our kids begin their school year, which is two weeks away. I am going to discuss with my supervisor about extending my remote work.

Over the weekend, I talked to my wife the potential of not letting Xuân attend kindergarten this year. I am fine with keeping him at home for a year, but she doesn’t want to since she would have to bear the brunt if I have to go back to the office. Letting Xuân and Đán attend in-person classes is risky. The pandemic is far from over and we cannot let our guard down.

America is deeply divided over vaccination. Before the pandemic, I thought the number of anti-vaxxers was very insignificant. Now I realize I am dead wrong. I stopped following politics in America because of its divisiveness. I only pay attention to policies I care about. Now the anti-vaxxers are taking the divisiveness to the extreme.

I refused to attend our family gathering because many of my cousins have refused vaccination. It took one member of the family who is obsessed with conspiracy theory to convince others not to get vaccinated. I love them and pray for them not to catch the virus, but I can’t put my kids at risk. I hope we can see each other again after the pandemic. Yesterday, a friend from high school shared her story on Facebook, which confirmed that I made the right decision not to attend our family gathering. She wrote:

I’ve been masking since end of February 2020 before any mask mandate or shut-down was even announced. I worked all of my hospital shifts through the pandemic. I drove almost 200 miles a day when the trains shut down. Then I started taking the trains and busses, while fully masked, when they opened back up. I was tested for covid weekly and always came up negative. Masking works really well. I let my guard down recently at a family gathering and let my daughter go about unmasked even though she wasn’t vaccinated. It was stupid of me, but I had hoped that everyone in attendance was vaccinated or not a covid carrier. You should never really just rely on hope. I love my family to pieces regardless of what they believe in. I only wish them health, safety, and happiness. If I had to repeat the family gathering I would have still attended, but would definitely have kept my daughter and myself masked and more distanced. Hind sight is 20/20.

Two weeks ago, I took Đạo and Đán to try out Vovinam. It took place in a small studio close by our house. Many kids didn’t mask up. Except for one master and myself, none of the parents wore masks at the meeting. As a result, I decided to pull them out for now. Our kids are good with masking up. Even our two-year-old Vương wanted to wear his mask because his brothers were wearing them. We still need take more cautions with the high transmissible from the Delta variant.

As the school year reopening in the fall approaches, the American Academy of Pediatrics strongly recommends all students, teachers and staff to mask up. Without masking up, we are leaving children who are under twelve highly vulnerable.

Although adults faced serious illness and high risk of death from COVID-19, almost 500 children died, 240,000 hospitalized, and over 4,000 developed multisystem inflammatory syndrome. The rise of the Delta variant puts our kids in even more danger.

Even though our family members who are eligible for vaccines have been vaccinated, we are continuing to mask up when we have to go indoors. We still have three kids who are not eligible to be vaccinated and we need to protect them.

If you are eligible for vaccines, but refused to be vaccinated, that’s your choice. Our children, however, have no choice at this time. I hope that everyone—whether you are vaccinated or not—will mask up for the kids. They do not deserve to get infected.

I picked up Đán at the end of his summer-school day. As he hopped into the minivan, he said, “I love you, daddy.” I replied, “I love you, too.” He said, “I am surprised that you didn’t say ‘No, you don’t.’” I responded, “Of course, I know you love me. You don’t have an option.”

As I drove home he started telling me a game he played in the classroom. He had to write down one lie and two truths. He wrote, “I have a cat,” which is a lie. Then he wrote, “My brother Đạo hates me,” which is his opinion, not the truth. Then he wrote, “I hate myself,” which is also not the truth.

His teacher got worried and sent him to the principal’s office. The principal told him that she was concerned about our family; therefore, she will call me or my wife to talk about our loathsome family members. He apologized that he got us in trouble. He thought he was being comedic because I kept telling him that being a comedian makes tons of money.

I was laughing the whole way home, but I am not looking forward to the call from the principal. I am just going to pass it on to my wife.

As a financial worrier, I am concerned about our summer spending spree, particularly on our kids. Xuân is continuing his academic tutoring for three days a week. Đán is taking private tutoring for reading and writing twice a week. Đạo is attending a writing workshop twice a week.

For sports, we already sent Đán and Xuân to a week-long figure skating camp. Đán will start the NHL/NHLPA Learn to Play program this Saturday. Yesterday, I signed up Đạo and Xuân for private ice skating lessons. I also am taking group ice skating lessons myself.

To offset these expenses, I am taking on freelance projects. I am currently working on only one website and the pace is slow as I am waiting for my client to do its part. My advising service for Vietnamese diacritics is going well. I have clients all over the world asking me to review their typefaces. I am really happy about those gigs.

As I am paying for all of these tutoring services and private lessons, I am thinking of offering my own services on web design, typography, and graphic design. Anyone interested?

Hôm qua Đạo chích ngừa COVID lần thứ hai. Tuy vẫn còn sợ kim nhưng Đạo chịu để anh dược sĩ trẻ người Việt chích. Đạo chỉ cần nắm lấy tay tôi để lấy thêm can đảm.

Để phòng ngừa tác động thứ yếu, hai cha con rủ nhau đi trượt băng. Đạo chỉ tôi cách quay hai chân. Tôi dễ bị say sóng nên quay hai vòng là chóng cả mặt. Rồi hai cha con cùng nhau học cách nhảy lật nửa (half-flip jump). Gần ba tiếng đồng hồ, chúng tôi tập có kết quả tốt.

Sau giờ trượt băng, hai cha con dắt nhau đi nhà hàng Nhật. Đạo giống tôi ở chỗ là đi đâu cũng mang theo quyển sách. Trong lúc chờ đồ ăn mạnh ai nấy đọc. Lúc đồ ăn mang ra, hai cha con vừa ăn vừa tâm sự. Tôi hỏi thăm nó về thằng bạn của nó.

Hôm thứ ba vừa rồi nó đến nhà thằng bạn chơi. Từ lúc đại dịch đến bây giờ tụi nó mới có dịp chơi chung với nhau. Lúc đến đoán Đạo về, tôi cũng xã giao với mẹ thằng bạn của nó. Tình cờ biết được rằng hai vợ chồng đã ly thân. Ông chồng đã dọn ra khỏi nhà. Chỉ còn lại bà vợ với bốn đứa con (ba trai một gái) trong căn nhà lớn. Cuối tuần thì mấy đứa con qua ở với ba.

Tôi hỏi Đạo có để ý bạn của nó buồn không khi cha mẹ chia tay. Nó không thấy bạn có thay đổi vì cả, vẫn vui vẻ bình thường. Chắc con nít còn vô tư chưa hiểu chuyện hoặc tuy cha mẹ không sống với nhau nữa nhưng họ vẫn sắp xếp để không ảnh hưởng đến con cái.

Tôi không biết gì về gia đình của họ nhưng trường hợp cũng tương tự như gia đình tôi (hai vợ chồng bốn đứa con). Dĩ nhiên vợ chồng nào cũng có vấn đề cả nhưng bước tới đoạn đường chia tay sau khi đã có bốn đứa con là một quyết định không nhỏ.

Tôi định hỏi Đạo nếu như gia đình của chúng ta rơi vào hoàn cảnh như thế thì sao. Nhưng rồi tôi không muốn nó phải suy nghĩ nhiều. Tuy trong cuộc hôn nhân này tôi không thể tự quyết định nhưng tôi sẽ dùng hết khả năng và quyền hạn của mình để điều đó không bao giờ xảy ra.

Đán, Xuân, and their cousin Khôi just wrapped up their five-day Sky High Skating Development Camp at the MedStar Capitals Iceplex. Based on the program’s description, I signed my boys up to develop their skills based thier levels. For example, I wanted Xuân to work on his backwards and Đán to work on his freestyles. I expected the coaches to test each individual skater and then grouped them together based on their level.

Unfortunately, there was one coach for eight kids in different levels. The coach was a seventeen-year-old girl who could skate, but didn’t have the experience to teach. She showed a few techniques for all the kids regardless of their levels. For example, the waltz jump is for freestyle level; therefore, Đán could do it, but Xuân and Khôi couldn’t. They need to learn the bunny hop first before they could even try to do the waltz jump. They ended up skating just for fun most of the time.

It was not the coach’s fault. She had the tough job of overseeing eight kids for four hour straight each day. In fact, she was very patience and cool with them. The kids had fun, but I was hoping they had developed some solid skills as well. The program was over promised, but under delivered.