I wrote to Xuân’s English teacher:

Dear Mrs. H,

I hope you had a great Thanksgiving break. I love the song, “Give Thanks,” you had written and performed. What a beautiful way to teach kids about gratitude.

I am writing to you because I am quite concerned about Xuan’s reading. He seems to be regressing in his reading level. He used to be able to sound out words with three letters, but these days he seems to have trouble reading words with three and four letters. He could barely get through a simple sentence. I am trying to help him at home, but I am not seeing any progress.

Is it normal for his age and level? Or does he seem to be behind? What do you think? Do you have any suggestions? Should he get extra help?

Thanks in advance and looking forward to hearing from you.

Regards,
Donny Trương

Maybe I am getting impatient with Xuân’s reading, but I am seeing the same patterns with Xuân and his older brother. Đán ran into similar issue where he couldn’t recognize the same word we just read a second ago. Đán can read fine now, but he only reads when he has to. I would like to help Xuân to become a better reader so he could enjoy reading since I love reading.

My wife bought The Big Book of Reading Comprehension Activities, Grade 1, by Hannah Braun M.Ed., for Xuân to learn at home. We have been going through two readings a day and Xuân seems to enjoy doing the exercises.

Xuân bought a diary book with a lock at his school book fair. I asked him to write down the Scout oath, law, motto, and outdoor code. He was struggling to remember the Scout laws, but writing them down has helped him memorized them. I am planning on helping him writing a daily journey in his journal similar to what I am doing with my blog. I am hoping to improve his writing skills as well.

Our second born turns 11 today. He grows way too fast. He loves building PCs and playing video games on his desktop. For his birthday, we gifted him all the parts so he could build his own desktop. It is definitely a useful skill to pick up. I am proud of him for it, but he needs to balance out his priorities. His education needs to come first. He is doing the minimal just to pass. If he puts the energy and focus on school work like he does with PC and video games, he would become an excellent student.

Đán has a natural athletic ability. With a bit of bravery, he is elevating in rollerblading. He surpassed his brothers and me in blading. In the past, I could keep up with him, but not anymore. He is not even into rollerblading. He has to skate because I make him go to the skate park. If he puts his mind into it, he would have advanced even further. I am not pushing him. My only requirement is for him to get some exercise. He needs to get away from his desktop and do some outdoor activities. Đán is also an excellent snowboarder. I can’t wait to hit the terrains with him this winter.

Đán is a great kid when he wants to be. He loves his grandmother, his mom, Đạo, and Vương. For selfish reasons, he is not too fond of Xuân and he drives me to the wall. I made it clear to him that he either treated Xuân nicely or he got banned from his PC. He didn’t like me when I banned him, but I was fine with that. I don’t have any issue being a bad dad. He knows deep down, I have nothing but love for him.

Đạo has been invited to join the Robinson chapter of the National Junior Honor Society. Being part of the NJHS membership is an honor. He has to keep his GPA at 3.5 and above. I am proud of his achievement and his mom has also played an important role in his accomplishment. She constantly had to remind him to complete his assignments and study for his tests.

After we made the decision to returned the iPhone 12, we made a promise that if Đạo kept up his grades, we would get him a laptop. His final grades for the first quarter was good; therefore, we bought him a 15.6-in. HP touchscreen laptop. He earned it, but my hope is that he will take better responsibility for his education. His grades were decent because his mother had to remind him every single day to complete his assignments and projects. I made a deal with him that if he grades slip, I would have no problem confiscating it. Until then, enjoy the new toy, kiddo.

Over the weekend I had an opportunity to experience being a single dad for the first time. Even though my wife had planned a weekend trip with her family for a while, she was still not sure if she could leave a forty-four-year-old kid taking care of her precious boys, especially her four-year-old. I reassured her that they would be fine. I won’t let them die. At least I wouldn’t starve them to death.

Truth be told, I was a bit worried about my four-year-old boy since he had not been away from his mom since birth and he still wanted to be breastfed at night. To make the transition easy, I took off work on Friday to spend time with him. We checked out Luv 2 Play. It’s a decent paid indoor playground with a small arcade section. As soon as Vương spotted his favorite dinosaur-shooting game, the rest of the playground area was useless. We managed to stay for an hour and left for the skatepark. He met another boy his age and they clicked instantly. They ran around the ramps while I bladed. When it was time for us to go to pick up Đạo, I told Vương to say goodbye to the new friend. As I bent down to pick up my phone and water bottle, I heard the boy’s mother let out a shocking sound. I didn’t know what went on, but I saw the boy’s father holding Vương’s shirt. I completely missed the incident when the boy pushed Vương down the ramp. Luckily the father grabbed a hold of him. The mother let out a sigh of relief and said to me, “It’s time for us to go. When they get tired and sleepy they started acting stupid.”

We went to pick up Đạo, then Đán and Xuân. We went back to the skatepark again because Xuân wanted to scooter with his scooter buddies. We spent about an hour at the skatepark and headed straight to H-Mart for dinner before Scouting activities. After Scouting, we went over to Tea-Do for boba tea and Street Fighter. We came home around 9:30 pm, showered, and had an instant noodle party. The boys were completely exhausted by midnight. Vương kept tossed and turned. I asked him, “What’s wrong?” He replied, “I want mama back.” I held his hand and rubbed his back until he fell asleep.

I woke up around 6:30 am on Saturday to make lunch for Đạo. He had a hiking trip with his Scout Troop. I dropped him off at 7:30 am and went back home to clean up the house a bit. Đán woke up early and jumped on his computer. I made him fold all the clothes before he could play. Then I made breakfast for the three boys. Around 10 am, we left for the skatepark in Alexandra then the huge playground in Fairlington. We stopped by Bon Chon Chicken around 1:00 pm for lunch. I texted a Scout parent to see if he and his family wanted to join us for sushi dinner. He texted me back saying he was busy, but I could come by for a beer. I brought over more Bon Chon Chicken to his house. His two daughters, around Đán’s age, were great with kids. Vương loved spending time with them. We didn’t get back home until 11 pm. The boys were once again exhausted from a full day of activities. Vương cried, “I want my mama.” Five minutes later, he fell asleep.

The boys didn’t wake up until 10 am on Sunday morning. We went to Silver Diner for brunch, a skatepark to burn off our calories, an outdoor playground, and boba tea again. We went home afterward and relaxed until my wife came home around 4 pm. We survived. I had a fantastic time with the boys. Of course, it would have been much better with her, but she needs to take a break from the boys once in a while. I definitely encourage her to take more trips to spend time for herself. She deserves it.

Making the upgrade from an iPhone 6 Plus to 13 Max Pro felt like I went from a Corolla to a Tesla. I should have made the upgrade sooner. Then again, I hope to keep the 13 Max Pro for at least 5 years.

After my upgrade, I signed up for a brand new phone for our first born with Verizon’s promotion: a free iPhone 12 for a new line with unlimited plan. Since both my wife and I are already on the unlimited plan, we just needed to add another line for him.

I thought a a third line would be cheaper until the bill came a few weeks later. I received all sorts of charges and his line was higher than ours. We were on the G5 Start plan and the new line required the G5 More plan. I should have known that “More” meant more money and nothing is free in corporate America.

I made a mistake by not looking at the dollar amounts when I signed up for a new line, but the bigger mistake was giving my son a powerful tool. He could access anything at his fingertips and the whole world was in his pocket. It was like handing him drugs at thirteen. I wanted him to be more independent and reliable, but he was not ready yet. I realized that I was putting him in danger and I needed to put a stop to it.

I brought up my concerns with my wife and we asked him to let us return the phone since Verizon had a 30-day trial period. We wanted him to focus on his school work, spend more time outdoors, read paper books, and do things off the screen. He was sad to return the phone, but he understood that we were not punishing him. He knew we care deeply about his well being and we love him dearly.

Responding to Đán’s teacher about his interim report:

Dear Ms. B,

Thank you for your comments in Dan’s interim report. Last night, we talked to him about his unwillingness to speak Spanish in Spanish class. We’ve learned that his lack of confidence in Spanish has prevented him from speaking the language.

We encouraged him to do his best. All we are asking from him is to put in the effort. We’re also asking Dao, his older brother, to speak Spanish as well to give Dan more exposure to the language outside his class. Dan has promised that he will speak Spanish in class. Please keep us updated on his progress.

As for math, what is he learning and struggling with? We can’t help him with Spanish, but we can definitely help him with math. Please let us know what you are teaching in class so we can follow up with him at home.

Thanks once again for bringing up your concerns to our attention about Dan’s progress. We also appreciate your compliments. He is indeed a kind and thoughtful child. With your guidance and our collaboration, he will have a successful year.

Regards,

Donny Truong

As the youngest boy in the family, he gets all the love and attention. Despite being home with his mom and grandmother most of the time, he isn’t shy away from meeting new friends. He is outgoing and he has such an infectious smile. He is articulate for his age. He knows exactly what he wants. He is also an independent child who likes to do things for himself without getting any help for his parents and brothers.

In contrast, he isn’t quite ready to put breastfeeding behind. He still latches at night time to get his fix. He is still potty training. He doesn’t wear a diaper until he needs to do the number 2. He would request a diaper instead of sitting on the toilet. I am sure he’ll get over these two things this year.

Now that he is 4, I can start cleaning up all the toys he no longer plays with. They have been piling up in the basement for a long time. In retrospect, I don’t see him playing with toys too much. He is a digital-screen baby. He isn’t picking up sports as fast as older brothers. He seems to like skiing. I can’t wait to hit the slopes with him this coming winter.

Friday was my remote working day; therefore, I took Xuân and Vương to Jolly Yolly Kids Indoor Playground near our house. I wanted them to run around the playground instead of sitting still in front of their screens at home. They loved this “beautiful playground,” as they referred to it, and it had decent Wi-Fi for me to do my work.

We were there for about two hours when Xuân came up to tell me, “Someone just bit me.” He showed me his back and I saw teeth marks. I asked him if he was OK and if he could point out to me who bit him. Both Xuân and Vương pointed to a boy in an orange shirt. He was a big boy, but probably was a bit younger than Xuân. I asked around to find out who was the parent of the kid. I finally approached a man who was gluing to his phone. I asked, “Is he your son?” When he replied yes, I followed up, “Did you know that he bit my son?” He replied, “Yes, I am so sorry. I told him to apologize.” I said, “Why did he bite my son? Was there a conflict?” He responded, “No, he wanted the balloon and he shouldn’t have bitten.” Then he turned to his son, “Preston, say sorry.” His son said nothing. He went on, “If you don’t say sorry, you will get time out.” The kid ran off and continued to play. I turned to the father, “I guess that didn’t do it. You better make sure he doesn’t bite my son again.”

I took my kids away and I told Xuân, “Thank you for telling me what happened. What that kid did was wrong. He should have said sorry to you. I am going to make sure that he won’t do it again.” Instead of getting back to work, I had to watch them play until closing time.

The father didn’t even come to me to tell me about the incident. I had to approach him about it. The kid didn’t even get a fucking time out. He kept on playing like nothing happened and the father went back to his phone. That was some shitting-ass parenting.

I love all my sons, but I worry about Đán the most. He always occupies my mind. As my wife and I have decided to give the kids a break from their digital devices for the summer, Đán is not coping too well without his PC. While Đạo, Xuân, and Vương find something else to play, he finds ways to get under their skin. Without video games, he plays the piano really fast or just slamming the keys at maximum volume to drive everyone nuts. When he is not irritating his brothers or getting on our nerves, he just withdraws and thinks about video games. He doesn’t want to do anything else. No skating. No rollerblading. No reading. None.

He has all the behaviors of ADHD. He also has some serious skin issues. Vitiligo seems to affect his confidence. He wears long sleeves and pants to cover his body even in the summer heat. We try to get him to wear short sleeves and shorts, but then again, he should wear long clothes to protect his skin. Like me, he is a keloid former and he already has a thick one on his elbow when he scraped himself from rollerblading. He is only ten years old and already developing keloids. That’s not a good sign at such an early age. He could get worse if he is not being careful with his skin. Any cuts or scratches could lead into keloids. That was part of the reason I was blowing up when his cousin scratched him. I hope those scratches won’t turn into keloids.

He is still a fun, silly kid and full of life. I hope he continues to play the piano to keep himself focused. I know he will turn out OK, but I just can’t help worrying about him. The hardest part about being a parent is that you have the responsibility of another human being.