One of Dan’s current favorite TV shows is Ninjago. His mom complained that I let him watch too much violent video. He goes around and destroy everything around the house like flipping the kid’s table over, yanking books off the shelf, and dumping toys out of boxes. Then at night when I put him to bed, I told him that I am scared of the dark. He put his arms around my neck tight and stuttered, “DDDDDDDDDon’t be scared. IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII rescue you.” He melted my heart.
As we were heading to daycare, Dao greeted his friend Sam. Sam introduced his mother to Dao, “This is my mom.” Dao replied, “But she looks like your grandma.” Luckily she was busy dealing with her access card, which was not working, and didn’t hear what he said. I said to Dao, “Please don’t say that.” But I didn’t explain to him why he shouldn’t. Even though it was not the nice thing to say, he was speaking his mind.
When I was kid, I probably said a lot of things similar, but when my mom was being harsh on me, I lost the confidence of speaking my mind. Years ago, my cousin loved to put together some sort of a talent show whenever we had a family gathering. Each member of the family was encouraged to do something such as singing, dancing or telling jokes. Now that I think about it he had a very good intention. He taped all the video, but I am not sure what he had done with them.
One time, I stood up and told a joke I heard when I was a kid. The joke was that Vietnamese people loved to eat corns without chewing because they could save money by shitting them out, washing them and eating them again. It was a very stupid joke, but most people laughed. The next day I asked my mom what did she think of the joke and she responded in a very snarky way, “You insulted the entire people of Vietnam and I couldn’t find a rock to hide under.” It hit me like a ton of bricks. I felt the goosebumps all over me. From that day on, I refused to participate in anything at family gathering. Her words continued to haunt me even when I went to college and every time I had to do public speaking.
Now I realize that I was stupid and that I made a dumb joke, but it was not the end of the world. I don’t want that to happen to my kids. They should be able to speak their mind and learn from their mistakes, but they shouldn’t be afraid to speak out. Most of the things that they do say are quite adorable. Last week, I was holding lil Han in my arms. Dan ran up to me and demanded, “Daddy, hold me. I want you to take care of me.” It was just so sweet. When grandma sat lil Dan on her lap, Dan wanted to sit on her lap as well and he said, “Grandma, I am a baby too.”
Being a parent, I find it challenging to balance between discipline and freedom and I am horrible at it. I really admire parents who discipline their kids well. I am more on the opposite end; therefore, whenever the child discipline topic comes up, I just listen. I have no advice to give. Some parents believe that you have to be tough with them. Some parents believe you don’t.
I used to spank my kids, particularly Dao, but it was not working so I don’t do it anymore. I improvise in most situation and I am still struggling to set aside my emotion when dealing with them. When I get emotional, I tend to get really mad and I can’t think straight. I just end up shutting myself down. Public humiliation is no longer a big deal to me. If my wife and kids want to humiliate me in public; there is nothing I can do. I know that my wife doesn’t mean it to when she raised her voice at me in public, but after many times of reminding her don’t seem to work, I just let her have it. I just do my part not to embarrass her in front of our family and friends. The kids don’t know any better so I just let them act out whatever they want. Everyone is responsible for his own behavior and I can’t control anyone else’s but my own.
I sympathize with parents whose kids has no kind of respect whatsoever to them. I don’t know their situation so I don’t judge. I highly admire parents whose kids follow their orders. Wow, this is a long rant.
In the past two weeks, dropping off Dan has been easier. He must have realized that’s he doesn’t have a choice. As long as Ms. Ali was there to greet him, he would be fine. This morning she was not in yet; therefore, he refused to go into his class. Dao took Dan’s hand and said, “Let me show you where you can join your friends.” Dan didn’t cry as all when Dao led him to the table where his friends were sitting.
As we waved goodbye to Dan, I took Dao to his class. I gave him a hug and kiss and said to him, “Remember…” He replied, “Listen to my teachers.” I said, “And be nice to…” He responded, “My friends.” We weaved goodbye and he joined his friends. Not a bad morning at all.
Three words to describe student: Rational, impulsive, sweet.
Likes to play with: Dao enjoys playing with trains, blocks and Legos. He loves to work at our writing center. He also enjoys going to art.
Child’s strength: Dao has shown amazing improvement in his participation during discussions. He also contributes to class discussions. He also is now willing to try new things and enjoys art. His writing skills have improved. Dao builds friendship easily.
Areas we are working on: Dao’s tantrums have become more extreme. He is less easily pacified than in the past. We are working on controlling his temper.
Ms. Geisel:
After some singing and dancing, the children sat quietly to listen to Ms. Geisel read, “Can I Play, Too?” A story about a little snake who wanted to play catch with his friend the elephant and piggy but had no arms to catch with! The children were so bummed each time the snake missed the ball, saying in unison, “He has no arms!” Dan seemed very concerned that the snake kept getting hit with the ball shouting, “Ouch! That hurt! Is snake ok?” It was great seeing our Hummingbirds’ empathic side shine through during the story.
A few words to describe student: Active, friendly, loving, curious, expressive.
Likes to play with: Dan loves anything that moves. Cars, trains, planes, and trucks. He likes to build tall towers using anything he can stack. Dan is also very social and always loves playing with his friends. He is very active and loves to jump, run, dance, and play with balls.
Child’s strength: Except during drop off time in the morning, Dan is a very happy little boy. He is very smart and vocal and especially loves to point different things out during story and circle time. he plays very nicely with his friends, especially during gym time and playground time. Dan is also very empathetic and quick to give hug and words of advice to any friend that is not feeling happy.
Areas we are working on: We’re trying to work on making drop off time a bit easier. Dan is making progress. Only a few minutes after mom and dad leave, he is ready to join his friends. Also, we have begun talking about when mom and dad come back. Sometimes, if he is teary during the day, we ask him “When do mommy and daddy come?” He says, “After nap.” And that usually calms him.
From yesterday’s daily activity report:
The Hummingbird class was in motion this morning! Dan, Daniel, Becca, Aaron, and Alexa all ran to the basket of trains as soon as we got to the classroom. We asked them where their trains were going… Dan scooted his train all around the circle table and said “He’s going to see Daddy.”
As soon as Ms. Geisel announced it was time for Show and Share, Liz turned to Ms. Ali with a great big smile on her face. Then, Dan stood up to tell the class that his “daddy got me new clothes.”
Dan has been extremely closed to me. He makes me feel loved and very special. His favorite bedtime book is The Berenstain Bears and the Spooky Old Tree. At first, he was a little scared, but now he loves reading it. He now weighs as much as his older brother. He has been talking a lot as well, but he has started to stutter when he tries to find the right words to say. For example the other day he saw a girl held a book, he told me, “Look daddy, look daddy, look daddy, look daddy, it’s Frozen.” I love this kid even though he is way too active for me.
This morning Đán ran to me and cried, “Daddy, Đạo scratched me and pushed me.” Then he turned authoritative and ordered me, “Hit him.” I couldn’t help smiling, but told him that we don’t hit each other. We have to be nice to each other.
The weather is turning nice; therefore, Đán is allowed to play at the playground each morning. He hasn’t been crying for the past few days when I dropped him off. He’s eager to see his favorite teacher, Ms. Ali.
Đạo got in trouble again yesterday. His teacher complained that he didn’t want to share with his friend. They both fought over a car. His teacher told him to play with another car that is exactly the same, but he just wanted that particular car he was fighting for. When I asked him what happened and he told me that he had the car first.
At home he does the same thing with Đán. He wants whatever Đán has on his hand. It drives me crazy because they have tons of toys, but he only wanted that particular toy at the moment. I gave him timeout and explained to him that is not OK to do that, but it just goes in one ear and out the other.
Đán woke up in the morning, smiled and said, “Daddy địt.” I replied, “Đán địt.” He sounded a bit angry, “No, daddy địt.” I teased on, “No, Đán địt.” He got real mad, pointed at me and said, “No, I tell you. Daddy địt.” I responded, “OK, Daddy địt.” I did.
Đạo played with his legos and pretended: “Bad guys going into Walmart.” I was curious to know: “Why do bad guys go to Walmart? They want to buy some toys?” He responded, “No, to take some money.” I was like, “What? Where did you learn that from?” He said, “From Eric.”
Đạo’s 5th birthday is coming up and he has been quite misbehaving at school. On Monday, he refused to return to class after being in the playground. He did fine on Tuesday. On Wednesday, I asked him what happened in class. He said that two of his friends called him “dirty head.” I said, “That’s not nice so what did you do?” He responded, “I punched them.” I was like, “Oh no. What hands are for?” He replied, “To hold hands and to eat food.” I said, “That’s good. Why didn’t tell your teachers what they said to you?” He responded, “I did.” I asked, “What did your teacher say?” He replied, “She said to tell my friends ‘no, thank you. I don’t like what you said.'” I said, “That’s good advice. Why didn’t you do that?” He said,” I don’t know.”
I made a deal with him that we would throw him a big birthday party for him if he would be a good boy from today to the 25th. Each day we would put a smiley face sticker on the calendar if he would be good in school. The school’s psychologist thinks that he’s acting up because he knows his birthday is coming up. She wanted to meet with us and his teachers again to discuss his behavior.
Sáng nay Đạo mang theo một ảnh của mẹ và một ảnh ông bà ngoại để chia sẽ cùng cô và bạn bè trong lớp. Nhìn hình ông bà, tôi hỏi nó, “Ông bà ngoại đang ở đâu vậy? Có phải ở biển không?” Đạo trả lời, “Không, ông ngoại ở trên trời. Bà ngoại ở nhà bác Huy.” Tôi mỉm cười đáp, “Đúng rồi.” Nó hỏi lại tôi, “Where did ông ngoại move to? (Ông ngoại đã dọn đi đâu?)” Tôi trả lời, “Ông ngoại ở thiên đường.”
khi đến lớp Đán thì cô Ali đã có mặt. Đán hớn hỡ chạy đến khoe với cô đôi giày mới. Được cô khen đẹp nó dậm chân khoe cô giày có đèn. Khi tôi và Đạo đi ra khỏi lớp thì nó lại mếu. Cô Ali nhanh nhẹn bảo nó cho bạn Rebecca xem đèn thì nó nín khóc và dậm thêm một cái nữa. Khi rời lớp tôi nhìn lại thấy cô tặng cho nó một nụ hôm và không còn khóc nữa. Bữa nào vào lớp có cô Ali thì tôi rất vui vì không bị níu kéo.
I still have to deal with the awful customer service with Perfection Glass this morning. After its failure to show up to replace the windshield, I had to call my insurance, talked to the glass’s warrantee representative and made yet another appointment with Perfection Glass for next Tuesday.
As if I hadn’t had enough stress in the morning, Dan kept on whining and whining from the moment he woke up to the time I dropped off to daycare. He had been so whiny recently and still hadn’t wanted to be in class. He still held on to me tight when I dropped him off. It got worse when one of his main teachers weren’t in yet. The other teacher was not even trying to distract him from holding on to me. After twenty minutes of trying to read him books and trying to get him to play with his friends, one of his main teacher came in to rescue.
Dao, on the other hand, has been wonderful. He helped me carried his brother’s backpack, helped me to tell Dan it’s ok to be at school. After we dropped Dan off, we walked to his class. He gave me a hug and a kiss before joining his friends. His affection is just what I needed to get through the day. What a sweet little fellow.