Dan is transitioning from terrible two to terrifying three and it is a stressful phase. He throws tantrum so easily when things don’t go his way. He’s strong, fearless and uncontrollable. He can scream to his lung get sore. If I try to hold him or to calm him down, his action gets worse. My approach is to let him get it all out. Once he’s done, he would come to me, give me hug and apologize.

It breaks my heart every time I see my kid that way, but I can’t give me. I have been through it before with Dao; therefore, I know how the game goes. Three is so terrifying because they can’t control their emotion. I am so glad that Dao has passed that stage. He is now much easier to interact with. Dan will be the same. This is just the phase that he’s going through. If he knows that I give in every time he starts tantrum, he will push it further. I made that mistake with Dao. I am not doing that again. It might seem cold and harsh for a three-year-old, but he needs to learn to control his behavior. The sooner he gets it, the better we’ll be.

I make sure that he understand that I am not ignoring him. I just can’t put up with that. Once he apologizes and gives me hug, I give him my full attention again. Being a parent is hard. I am still learning. I might need one more time to get things right.

Dao’s kindergarden teacher wrote in his report that he had been talking excessively in class. Isn’t that a good thing? He’s vocalizing and sharing whatever on his mind. For example, when he took off his clothes to take a bath yesterday, he pointed to his nipples and said, “Daddy, when I grow up I will have lots of milk for the baby to drink.” I almost fell into the bathtub laughing.

Not only Dao, Dan is also very chatty. When not fighting, the two of them sounded like non-stop firecrackers. Because Dan’s vocabulary is still limited, he stutters quite a bit when he couldn’t find the words to express himself. Two nights ago as we were about to sleep, he suddenly got up and asked me, “Daddy, is … is … is … mommy having a baby?” I replied, “Well, would you like to have a baby brother or baby sister?” He responded, “No, I already have baby Han [his little cousin].”

Even though their non-stop talking could be quite irritating at times, especially when I was sleepy as hell, I am glad that they are talking a lot than not saying a word. As a parent, what I have learned is that you can’t have it both ways.

Dao had his first tooth extracted on Friday. The process went surprising well thanks to the amazing pediatric dentist. She distracted him by talking about Ninjago, one of his current favorite shows. She gave him some numbing medication and yanked the tooth out in less than ten minutes. Dao cooperated the entire time, which was unexpected. His previous visits he wouldn’t even let the dentist look at his teeth. Somehow he trusted this one particular dentist. It was a relief.

He will have another major work on his teeth, in which he will be sedated in the hospital. Before committed to this project, we had gone through two pedestrians and consulted my cousin who is a dentist. They all agreed that it has to be done. He was scheduled to do it two weeks ago, but his pediatrician would’t approved because I have Vonwillebrands, which means that he could have it as well. He had to get his blood test, but the result didn’t come back before the schedule date. He does have a mild case of Vonwillebrands and we had to reschedule it two months later for his dental work.

A couple days before his original schedule, he had abscess in his gum and had to have antibiotic. After his tooth was taken out, I could see a big cavity eating up his tooth.

As a parent, this has been a sign of failure on my part. I have been worried and stressed out the entire time. I let this happened to him even though I have done my best to brush and floss him everyday day and night. I am now being very conscious of Dan’s teeth as well. I don’t want to make the same mistake twice.

This morning when I dropped him off at daycare, Dan gave me a hug before joining his teachers and friends. At 22 months, he has reason for everything. When we walked to our car after I picked him up from daycare yesterday, I asked me to carry him. His reason was that he’ll “fall and hurt himself if he walks.” When grandma asked him to share his jelly beans with his cousin Khoi, he told her that Khoi can’t eat it because “he’ll throw up.” When he doesn’t want to eat his food anymore, he told me that the food will make him throw up. I am so tempting to let my kids starving for a week in order for them to understand how fortunately they are. I haven’t been able to do it yet.

Since kindergarden, Dao has picked up some big words. While we were dining at a restaurant on Saturday, he kept on crying because he wanted his cousin Khoi’s train toy. I commanded him to stop whining and eat his food. He said to his mom, “Daddy is embarrassing me.” In another incident, he called us several times to sanitize him when he was done pooping. When I finally came to him, he said, “I am so disappointed.” Two big words in two days.

Sáng thứ Bẩy đưa Đạo rút máu. Khi thấy kim thì nó la ầm lên. Tôi phải kiềm nó lại để cô y tá làm việc. Thấy nó cũng tội nên dắt nó qua Walmart mua đồ chơi. Nó chọn bộ Lego Ninjago rồi hai cha con đi ăn phở. Lúc ăn nó ngắm nghía mãi cái hộp Lego.

Lúc về đến nhà hai cha con mở hộp Lego ra ráp. Tôi thì không rành lắm mấy cái trò lấp ráp này nhưng Đạo đã nhìn rất kỹ trong lúc ăn nên nó ráp rất lẹ. Có lúc nó không cần nhìn bản hướng dẫn. Tôi thích chơi Lego với nó là vì tôi chỉ cần làm theo những gì nó bảo.

Dạo này Đạo cũng chịu nói tiếng Việt thường xuyên hơn trước nên thấy cũng vui. Chỉ có thằng em chẳng chịu nói tiếng Việt gì cả. Tánh tình của thằng em thì cứng rắn và tự lập hơn. Tuần trước khi dắt hai anh em đi thử máu thằng anh không chịu lên trước. Thằng em xung phong. Bị kim chích chỉ khóc một chút là hết.

Về độc lập thì cái gì nó cũng muốn tự làm. Cũng tốt nhưng cũng có lúc phiền. Như hôm nọ nó làm rớt miếng bánh donut xuống đất. Tôi nhặt lên bỏ vào thùng rác thì nó la hét lên bảo tôi phải nhặt miếng bánh ra lại để nó tự bỏ vào thùng rác.

Bây giờ hai đứa cũng lớn. Những chủi ngày bị đánh thức giữa khuya cũng đã qua. Bây giờ chỉ còn cái lì. Tôi cũng rất cứng rắn và khắt khe với tụi nó. Đạo thì cũng lớn. Nói cũng biết nghe. Thằng em thì còn lì dài dài.

The parenting department has been staled. Life with the boys are challenging but great. Dan is still in his terrible two stage, but he is such a cutie. Yesterday I took him to Flippin’ Pizza, he said “Pizza is delicious. Pizza is good for you. Pizza is good for me.” Last night when I tried to put him to bed, he kept rolling around and kicked my face. I got mad he scolded him, “Go to sleep.” He responded, “I thought you were my friend.” How can you get mad at that?

This year’s family reunion, there were about a dozen of boys and only one girl. Dan got really closed with her even though she is quite older than him. He wanted her to be his friend only and no one else. He would fight others if they tried to get closed to her. Over the weekend, we were at the playground and he came to two Asian girls who were also older than him and started to make friends. He asked them to cook chicken and donuts for him and the girls were gladly played along.

Dao, on the other hand, is growing so fast. At the reunion, he played along with everyone. Our relatives recognized the changes in him from last year. He was very grumpy the previous year, but this year he laughed and played with his cousins. I can’t believe he is starting kindergarden in two weeks. My boys are growing.

Two weeks ago, I took Dao to a pediatric dentist for checkup and she insisted to do some major works including baby root canal and crowning to almost all of his teeth. Because of his uncooperative effort, she recommended sadation. The estimated cost for this work is almost 5 grants. We took him for a second opinion and also asked our cousin who is a dentist and they gave the same advice.

My reluctant isn’t about the money, but I feel horrible for him to have anesthesia. Then again, we couldn’t get him to let the dentist clean or even look at his teeth at the office. Dan, on the other hand, was so cooperative. He even went first to show Dao that it was no pain. So far Dan has no cavity, but we will proceed with the major work for Dao in September.

To cover this cost, I am trying to pick up some small freelance work. Let me know if you know anyone who would need web sites design and development.

On Monday the three of us played some Ninjago on bed. I was the monster and the kids were the Ninjago. Unfortunately Ninjago Dan dived straight into the bead maze table. Even though the edge of the table was rounded off, he still had a minor cut on his forehead with a lime-size swollen. I held him tight with a remorse. I asked him if he wanted an ice pack. He said yes and held the ice pack to his forehead all by himself. The swollen subsided about half an hour later and he wanted to play again.

Yesterday as we were watching the World Cup, he asked for the ice pack again. I gave it to him again and he held it for five minutes and handed back to me. He said, “Daddy, your turn.” I replied, “No, thank you. I don’t have a boobo.” He came up to me, punched me on my face lightly, and said, “Now you have a boobo.” I told my wife, “I think our Dan is going to be a doctor. He’ll knock you out then give you a treatment.”

One of Dan’s current favorite TV shows is Ninjago. His mom complained that I let him watch too much violent video. He goes around and destroy everything around the house like flipping the kid’s table over, yanking books off the shelf, and dumping toys out of boxes. Then at night when I put him to bed, I told him that I am scared of the dark. He put his arms around my neck tight and stuttered, “DDDDDDDDDon’t be scared. IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII rescue you.” He melted my heart.

As we were heading to daycare, Dao greeted his friend Sam. Sam introduced his mother to Dao, “This is my mom.” Dao replied, “But she looks like your grandma.” Luckily she was busy dealing with her access card, which was not working, and didn’t hear what he said. I said to Dao, “Please don’t say that.” But I didn’t explain to him why he shouldn’t. Even though it was not the nice thing to say, he was speaking his mind.

When I was kid, I probably said a lot of things similar, but when my mom was being harsh on me, I lost the confidence of speaking my mind. Years ago, my cousin loved to put together some sort of a talent show whenever we had a family gathering. Each member of the family was encouraged to do something such as singing, dancing or telling jokes. Now that I think about it he had a very good intention. He taped all the video, but I am not sure what he had done with them.

One time, I stood up and told a joke I heard when I was a kid. The joke was that Vietnamese people loved to eat corns without chewing because they could save money by shitting them out, washing them and eating them again. It was a very stupid joke, but most people laughed. The next day I asked my mom what did she think of the joke and she responded in a very snarky way, “You insulted the entire people of Vietnam and I couldn’t find a rock to hide under.” It hit me like a ton of bricks. I felt the goosebumps all over me. From that day on, I refused to participate in anything at family gathering. Her words continued to haunt me even when I went to college and every time I had to do public speaking.

Now I realize that I was stupid and that I made a dumb joke, but it was not the end of the world. I don’t want that to happen to my kids. They should be able to speak their mind and learn from their mistakes, but they shouldn’t be afraid to speak out. Most of the things that they do say are quite adorable. Last week, I was holding lil Han in my arms. Dan ran up to me and demanded, “Daddy, hold me. I want you to take care of me.” It was just so sweet. When grandma sat lil Dan on her lap, Dan wanted to sit on her lap as well and he said, “Grandma, I am a baby too.”

Being a parent, I find it challenging to balance between discipline and freedom and I am horrible at it. I really admire parents who discipline their kids well. I am more on the opposite end; therefore, whenever the child discipline topic comes up, I just listen. I have no advice to give. Some parents believe that you have to be tough with them. Some parents believe you don’t.

I used to spank my kids, particularly Dao, but it was not working so I don’t do it anymore. I improvise in most situation and I am still struggling to set aside my emotion when dealing with them. When I get emotional, I tend to get really mad and I can’t think straight. I just end up shutting myself down. Public humiliation is no longer a big deal to me. If my wife and kids want to humiliate me in public; there is nothing I can do. I know that my wife doesn’t mean it to when she raised her voice at me in public, but after many times of reminding her don’t seem to work, I just let her have it. I just do my part not to embarrass her in front of our family and friends. The kids don’t know any better so I just let them act out whatever they want. Everyone is responsible for his own behavior and I can’t control anyone else’s but my own.

I sympathize with parents whose kids has no kind of respect whatsoever to them. I don’t know their situation so I don’t judge. I highly admire parents whose kids follow their orders. Wow, this is a long rant.