Vì con lọt lòng mẹ đúng Mồng Một Tết nên cha mẹ đặt tên con là Việt Xuân. Mỗi năm xuân đến con sẽ mang niềm vui và hạnh phúc đến mọi người.

Because you came out of mommy’s womb right on Vietnamese New Year, your mom and I named you Việt Xuân. On each Vietnamese New Year’s Day, you will bring joy and prosperity to everyone.

Our third boy decided to come out 18 days earlier than his expected due day just so he can celebrate Vietnamese New Year. 2016 is the year of the monkey and he is one little monkey who played jump rope in his mommy’s tummy. He managed to tie a knot with the umbilical cord and wrap it around his neck two times. Amazingly nothing happened to him. He is now doing great.

He came out at 8:19 this morning and weighted seven pounds and 10 ounces. We still don’t have a name for him yet. Can’t wait to welcome him home tomorrow.

Last Monday, I took Đán back to the burn clinic for a follow-up. When the nurse came in, he asked if he could use the iPad. In the previous visit, another nurse lent him the iPad to play with while she worked on his burned area. This time the nurse said that the iPad was running out of battery and being charged in another office. Đán pointed to the plug on the wall and told her that she could charge it in here. She complimented him for being such a smart boy and that she didn’t think of that. So she went and took the iPad in for him to play. As we were wrapping to leave, she asked him if he wanted a sticker. He responded, “No,” and asked, “May I have the iPad instead?”

Thằng Đán nghịch bị máy humidifier làm phỏng đít. Ngoài trời bão tuyết ngập đường nên gọi xe cứu thương đến đưa nó đi cấp cứu. Thằng nhóc bị phỏng cũng nặng nên xe đưa thẳng qua DC để đến chỗ chuyên về phỏng cho trẻ em.

Gần đến nơi thì xe cứu thương bị kẹt tuyết. Cũng may là họ đoán trước nên có xe tow và xe pickup truck đi theo hỗ trợ. Xe tow không kéo xe cứu thương ra được nên họ chuyển hai cha con qua xe pickup truck để đi tiếp.

Nhập diện có cô bác sĩ trẻ người Việt nhưng nói tiếng Việt không rành lắm. Sau khi cho thuốc giảm đau, cô cùng cô bác sĩ thực tập và y tá cắt hết những làng da bị phỏng. Tuy đau nhưng có iPad nó cũng ráng chịu không chống cự.

Sao khi làm xong cũng hơn chín giờ tối. Đối bụng quá hai cha con ăn sạch hai cái bánh mì kẹp gà lôi. Vậy mà nằm gần 12:30 khuya nó mới ngủ. Thấy nó vậy tôi đau đớn vô cùng.

Lỗi tại tôi quên tắt máy humidifier. Sáng sợ nó lạnh nên tôi để máy cho ấm phòng. Chân bị xưng đi lại không được nên tôi quên luôn. Thấy nó phỏng tôi cũng quên luôn nổi đau đớn ở bàn chân. Bây giờ chân bị nhức nhối ngủ không được. Hai ngày không ngủ đầu nhức như điên. Mông ngày mai có thể về nhà.

Vài năm nay tôi ở bệnh viện hơi nhiều nhưng không phải là bệnh nhân. Tôi thường ở với mẹ khi mẹ vào nhà thương. Lúc bố vợ chưa mất tôi cũng ở với ông. Lúc vợ đẻ hay mổ tôi cũng ở với vợ. Nay ở với thằng con. Tôi thật ngán ở bệnh viện và mông rằng không phải ở với vai trò bệnh nhân.

Last night my four-year-old Đán said to me “We need a new dad. The old dad is bad.” Yes, I am bad for giving him a bath and brushing his teeth. He went on, “Daddy, can I push you off the wall so we can have a different daddy.” I was not sure if I should laugh or cry.

I hate to be the one always making them do the mundane things like taking bath or brushing their teeth. They are not only thankless tasks, but the the kids hate me for making them do them. My new strategy has been that if they don’t want me to help them, they’ll have to do themselves. If they don’t them on their own, let them stay smelly for several days to see how they feel. They haven’t reached that point yet because their mom would step in, wash them up, and then get grumpy with me.

I am using that strategy with food. If they don’t want to eat, I put the food away. Not that I am being harsh, but they won’t die if they don’t eat in a day or two. These kids are so damn lucky that the take things like food for granted. Then again, if they got really hungry they would eat anything. Like last week when I came to pick up Đán from daycare in the evening. He pulled out his noodle, which he didn’t eat at lunch, and finished every last piece. I just sat next to him, watched him eat, and felt satisfied.

Within just a week at home, the boys drove everyone around them insane. My niece and nephew cut their staying with us short because they could not tolerate the boys, particularly the four years old.

They are not the most respectful kids. They don’t listen more than half of the time. They break down quite easily. They don’t like to share. They have tons of energy.

Most (if not all) of their misbehaves are my fault and responsibility. I fail to discipline my kids properly. I fail to control my emotions when they push my button. Đạo drives me to the wall every time he doesn’t get what wanted, and yet he is such a sweet boy.

Being a father, I want to give my kids the good times and childhood memories, something I never had with my dad. But each day I feel like a failure and with many regrets. At the end of the day, I tell myself to try again the next day. Tomorrow will be a better day. The only failure I am not making is stop trying. I get a third shot at this parenthood thing when the new boy is born.

K took D’s brand new toy without asking. D wanted it back. The kids got into a fight. The parents pulled the kids out and explained to them the important of sharing.

K’s mom opened a brand new toy for K. It’s the toy that D also loved. D asked to play, but K said no and K’s mom said that it is K’s toy and he can’t play with it because he didn’t share his toy. D went crazy.

Instead of teaching the valuable lesson on playing together, the adult took the revenge on the kid.

This morning I took Đán to preschool, but forgot that it is closed today. When the guy at the front desk told us that, Đán’s face lid up. I said to him, “Let’s go back home.” He replied, “Yes, I am so proud of you, daddy.”

At dinner time last night, Đán went to the restroom and went back out. I told him to wash his hand before he eat. He argued back, “I didn’t touch my cu (penis).”

On Monday, I took him to the pediatrician for his four-year checkup. He did everything the doctor told him to do such as hopping and balancing with one foot, reading the shapes on the board for his eyes test, and answering a few questions. He took three shots on his arms, cried a little, and went for some donuts.

I am indeed very proud of him. I enjoy spending time with them now more than before. We can actually go places without all of the extra baggage. It will be tough with another one on the way.

Đạo is at lesson 39 with Let’s Read: A Linguistic Approach. We have been reading three to four lessons each night. He shows tremendous improvement. When we read together Đán also wants to read. I started him with the alphabet. The book doesn’t have the letters in the alphabetical order. It starts with A, I, Q, and so on. For the past five days, I couldn’t get Đán to get past the first two letters. He doesn’t seem to be focused or he’s having a hard time recognizing the letters. It’s frustrating and worrisome at the same time because he’s turning four soon. I am hoping that he’s not focusing. I’ll talk to his teachers today to see if they can help him or figure out if he has some learning disability.

On a rainy Saturday, my sister-in-law’s husband and I took the boys to Kid Junction. What I like about this place is that the boys can play for five or six hours by themselves and I can read my book. They got to do some physical activities on the multi-level climber and be off the iPad. It’s well-worth the ten-dollar-admission for each kid. It’s a good marketing strategy that adults are always free.

As I cut my boys loose and enjoyed reading my book at the cafe table, a mom asked if she and her two-year-old girl could share the table. As we had our little chitchat, she asked me if I had any ground rule for the kids when they were younger. She and her husband are having difficult time with the little girl because she doesn’t understand or listen yet.

I gave her my honest answer. I had no rule in place and I improvised my way through. Although I am flattered that she asked me, but I am the wrong guy to ask. I am not good at parenting. In fact, I am terrible at it. All the things kids do that I despised when I was not a parent, my kids had done it or doing it. When I refrained from spanking them, all the rules and disciplines broke. Even when they disrespected me by hitting or screaming at me, I took them. It angered me, but it would hurt me more if I hit them. It’s a horrific feeling to hit my children, something I wouldn’t do to anyone else. Rising kids have been extremely stressful for me, but things are getting better. My six-year-old still whines a lot, but he is no longer hitting. My soon-to-be four-year-old still does it every once in a while. He hits his brother more than us. I gave him timeout and other kind of disciplines. Though he’s a lovely kid most of the time.

As far as school goes, I had not done much for them. Đạo’s reading assessment dropped in the beginning of the school year. To help him read, I have been using Let’s Read. We have been reading three or four pages each night and his reading had improved. He recognizes the words quicker and reads faster. I am so glad that I have found this book in the library. I came across it while looking for a grammar book for myself.

Parenting is a long-term commitment with patience and discipline. It is a constant challenge. Even though the excitement of the third child is not as much as the first one, I am very much looking forward to seeing him. Again I’ll just go with the flow.