Poor Xuân is battling with RSV. He has been vomiting more than eating. He lost his weight and looked miserable. I hope he won’t get an ear infection.
In retrospect, we could have prevented him from hanging around another sick kid. The little guy is paying for it for our carelessness.
I am so sorry, buddy. Please get well soon. I can’t stand seeing you suffering.
Cu Xuân vừa hết cảm tuần trước tuần này lại bị cảm lại. Tối thứ Năm vừa qua hết ói vào mẹ nó thì mửa vô ba nó. Bây giờ ngủ phải có ba ôm vào lòng.
Nghe từng hơi thở khò khè và nhiệt độ nóng sốt của nó thật tội nghiệp. Tuy đã từng trải qua cảnh này với Đạo và Đán nhưng vẫn xót xa với thằng thứ ba. Hy vọng rằng nó sẽ nhanh bình phục.
Giờ đây thân hình tròn trịa của mình trở thành cái giường cho nó ngủ. Cũng không sao cả vì tôi có thể đọc sách và viết cái blog post này.
Yesterday morning, Đán said he wanted to read. I showed him an alphabet book and asked him to tell me the letters. He could only identify D, A, N, and O.
In the evening I picked him up from daycare and we went to the library. He took out a dinosaur book and a cookbook. As we drove home, he started to read the cookbook.
I wish I had recorded his reading because he was so hilarious. He sounded like Trump’s rambling. Here’s one that I could remember:
Three, four, five, six million years ago, vegetable was made out of barf. It tasted so yucky like having an AK47 shot you in the face.
He obviously hated vegetables and somehow managed to incorporate his favorite Nerf gun toy into the story. He turned the page and read on:
Muffin is more gooder. It tastes yummy but has twenty hundred infinity sugar. You have lots of cavities. Cavity is bad. It makes your teeth fall out.
Although he can’t read, he has the potential to be president. He knows how to evoke fear.
Last night’s bedtime conversation:
Đán: Daddy, do you know that your penis connected to your butt.
Dad: What? Where did you learn that?
Đạo: Your penis connected to your butt because the juice goes to your penis and the food goes to your butt.
Dad: OK guys, that is way too much information. Let’s just go to sleep.
Last week at Sweet Berries, a frozen yogurt place:
Đạo: (Read the sign) “This restroom is only for Sweet Berries customers.”
Đạo: Daddy, does that mean the employees can’t use it? What if they have to pee?
Dad: That’s a really good point. I am glad you’ve caught it. I guess the employees just have to hold it.
I love having these conversations with the kids. The way they think are hilarious yet logical and imaginative. I need to jot them down before they escape me.
[T]he best thing they ever did for me was to discourage my perfectionist tendencies – indeed, when I was in elementary school, my dad offered to buy me a present if I got a C.
She continues:
I think it was my parents’ lack of emphasis on grades that gave me room to foster my own desire for achievements. I developed a strong work ethic of my own accord, instead of doing it to placate my family.
She concludes:
He gave me two invaluable gifts: the space to cultivate my own desire for excellence, and the healthy psyche to pursue it.
Most Asian parents are tough on their kids. I want to, but I can’t. My wife once told me that she was stressed out because our seven-year-old’s reading level is two out of four and our almost-five-year-old doesn’t even want to recognize the alphabet letters. Her dream of her kids becoming doctors seems to be unlikely. I consoled her that as long as they won’t become criminals or end up in jail, I am fine with whatever they want to be. Yes, I am setting the bar that low and I am glad to see that Mr. Chia had done the same and it worked out for his kid.
Here’s a funny argument that shows why the little guy always wins:
Đạo: You’re ridiculous.
Đán: You’re a dickulous.
Neither of them understands what the word means.
Đán: Can I slap you in the face?
Dad: Ba không hiểu con nói tiếng Việt đi?
Đán: Can I đánh you in the face?
Dad: Cha mầy.
Steve Jobs might not have predicted it, but his power over kids is undeniable. Đán woke up this morning and asked if he is going to school today. When I said yes, he got upset, “I don’t want to go to stupid school.” When I took him into the bathroom, he asked me, “Can I play on your iPhone?” I replied, “If you’re a good boy, I’ll let you play on the way to school.” His face lid up and responded, “Yes daddy, I will do everything you ask me to.”
He brushed his teeth, put on his clothes, kissed his brothers, mother, and grandma goodbye. We went to Dunkin’ Donuts for his favorite bacon, egg, and cheese Wake-Up Wrap. He played on the iPhone while I drive him to school. It was such a painless, pleasant morning. No fighting, no arguing, no dragging, no carrying, no delaying. If this is how he behaves every morning, I am fine with letting playing on the iPhone. If he smartens up and doesn’t throw a tantrum when I asked him to turn it off, I can let him have it.
Yesterday we went to Philly to attend my cousin’s wedding. We had a fantastic time witnessing two people celebrating their life together. Tonight before bedtime, Đạo asked me a few questions about marriage and I found them to be fascinating. Just out of the blue, the conversation started like this:
Đạo: Daddy, can I not get married?
Dad: Of course you can, if you don’t want to. But don’t you want to be like mommy and daddy? We love each other and we have you guys as a family.
Đạo: Does it mean I will be alone if I won’t get married?
Dad: No, not really, but are you comfortable being alone?
Đạo: No… Can a boy married a boy?
Dad: Sure, if they love each other.
Đạo: Oh my…
Dad: Why you say that?
Đạo: That’s just weird.
Dad: Why is that weird?
Đạo: I don’t know… Can a girl married a girl?
Dad: Sure, if they love each other.
Đạo: I didn’t know that.
Dad: Well, now you know.
Đạo: How about dating?
Dad: What about it?
Đạo: I saw on Minecraft that they go on a date. What do you do on a date.
Dad: You can go to a movie and have dinner like mommy and daddy did.
Đạo: How about Paris? Can you go on a date in Paris?
Dad: Of course, that would be so romantic.
Đạo: Does Paris have toys?
Our conversation switched to toys, but I thought some of his questions were intriguing. It makes me realize that my seven-year-old son is ready to have some real conversations.
I haven’t written much about the boys lately. They are stressing the life out of me. When we were on vacation last week, I spent most of my waking hours watching and yelling at the two older boys.
Đán, in particular, is going through his horrifying-four stage. He breaks down and screams when he doesn’t get the iPad. He forces us to limit his time even more. I am fine with him playing on the iPad. I myself use my iPhone for reading or my laptop to do my personal projects. It’s an issue when he could not turn it off when we asked him to. He goes into this addictive mood.
On the bright side, he has some great sense of humor. Last Tuesday, I took him back to daycare after a week-long vacation. The first thing he told me was, “Daddy, there’s no [parking] space. Let’s go back home.” Last night, I gave him a pat on his butt for taking a bath and putting on his clothes all by himself. He turned around and said, “Daddy, I am going to bring you to justice.” Đạo was like, “Where did you learn that from?”
Speaking of Đạo, he, too, addicted to the iPad, but he understands the consequences if he acted up when we asked him to turn it off. Most of the time he would listen. He likes to talk a lot of crap; therefore, he always gets into a fight with Đán. He doesn’t hit his brother, but his brother keeps throw punches at him and that drives me crazy. Đạo has some sharing issues, but he is a sweet brother, especially to Xuân.
Speaking of Xuân, he is now seven months. He is the cutest. He loves to eat; therefore, feeding him is a joy. I love spending time putting food in his mouth. I also enjoy strolling or jogging with him, which I haven’t done as much as I would like to. The stresses weakened my motivation. I am trying hard to get everything out of my head. I don’t know why I let things that I cannot control and little things that are unnecessary get to me. I am working on refocusing my attention on things that matter to me the most and fuck everything else. I can do it. I know I can and I will.