We just came back from my wife’s week-long family reunion in Friendsville, Maryland. I am still feeling exhausted. I got wasted last night from taking tequila shots with our cousins. I was having way too much fun. I need to stay off the liquor for a while.

In the beginning of the week, I didn’t have anyone to drink with, which was good for my gout control. I spent time with the young kids between the pool and the hot tub. I also spent a chunk of time playing ping pong with Đán. His sudden interest in ping pong brought us closer together. In retrospect, I started to get into ping pong when I was around his age now living in the refugee camp in the Philippines.

This year, we got to meet baby Long, our youngest member of the family, for the first time. He’s a cute seven-month-old baby. Other than that, we did our usual reunion activities. We ate, talked, laughed, played games, and took loads of photos. Even though I only got to see many of the family members once a year, we bonded over the years.

The most important thing was that we bonded. No matter what goes on and no matter what happens, we always support each other. That’s what I love about my wife’s family and I am very fortunate to be part of it. I hope we will continue to get together for many years to come.

“Sông sâu biển thẳm dễ dò, nào ai lấy thước mà đo lòng người”. Lòng mình còn chưa đo được huống chi là đo lòng người.

Con người cũng có lúc thay lòng đổi dạ. Không có gì là bềnh bỉ cả. Hạnh phúc được hôm nay không nghĩa là hạnh phúc cả cuộc đời.

Chỉ hy vọng rằng ngày nào còn tin tưởng nhau, còn chân thật với nhau, còn chia sẻ cho nhau, là hạnh phúc rồi.

Cho dù có chuyện gì xảy ra, đừng lừa dối nhau, đừng ăn thua nhau, và đừng làm kẻ thù nhau.

Đôi khi tôi tự nghi ngờ không biết viết lên đây để làm gì? Viết ra làm chi? Đã viết hơn 20 năm rồi có đáng không hay chỉ lãng phí phí thời gian? Tôi không còn rõ mục để viết nữa. Nhưng tôi vẫn chưa muốn dừng cuộc chơi.

Gần đây tinh thần đang xuống dốc nên không còn cảm hứng để viết. Có một vài điều trong cuộc sống khiến tôi âu lo và mất đi sự nhẫn nại. Chuyện gì đến sẽ đến hơi đâu mà lo lắng. Giờ có suy nghĩ nhiều cũng không làm được gì. Vì mọi chuyện ngoài sự điều khiển của mình.

Biết rằng như thế nhưng không thể ngồi yên để gió cuốn đi. Càng suy nghĩ càng khiến cho mình giảm đi sự tự tin. Thiếu tự tin không chỉ ngủ không yên mà còn không biết nên viết gì để trải lòng. Nhưng cũng phải thử viết xuống. Dù sao gì viết ra cũng có thể tự an ủi lòng.

Viết ra được nhiêu đây cũng cảm thấy nhẹ nhàng hơn. Có những niềm riêng không nên tiếc lộ trên nhật ký công cộng nhưng cũng đã quen dần rồi.

It’s official. I fucking hate the summer. The heat and humidity make me lazy and guilty.

The house constantly needs improvements and tidying up. I am overwhelmed with the growing list of things to do, and I haven’t done much. My wife is chewing my ears off every single day.

The cars need fixing and maintenance. More mileage, more problems. They just never stop. I hate dealing with cars. I am just going to drive them until the wheels fall off.

The kids aren’t reaching their potential. With the exception of Xuân, they aren’t playing any sports. They spend way too much screen time. I am failing to get them off their devices.

The job is uncertain. I am not worrying about AIs replacing my job. I am worrying about blue eyes replacing my job. Five white guys have taken over my responsibilities. Nevertheless, I still have some roles to play until I become useless.

Fuck it. I am just riding it out. I will deal with each issue when it comes up. I am losing all the joys in life and I am wasting my time worrying. My time in this world is too damn short to be stressed out.

I am thinking of seeking therapy, but I am too damn cheap to pay for someone to talk to me. As a result, I am writing this here as a form of therapy. I just needed a space to get shit off my chest. I will be fine. Even if everything around me falls apart, I still have myself to depend on.

I can’t stand the excessive heat. I am done with the summer. I can’t wait to get back to skiing and snowboarding. I don’t care much about the beach and the water.

I haven’t been to the skatepark for a month due to the gout attack. It is finally going away. I can returning practicing snowboarding in the basement. I am focusing mainly on my body position for carving. I hope it will help once I get to the slopes in the winter.

I still have so many projects to do for the house. Getting rid of things we don’t need is one of them. I don’t want things to pile up to the point where we just give up.

Every trip must come to an end. A week had gone by so fast. It’s time to head home. It was so nice seeing familiar faces again. Furthermore, It was a pleasure meeting new friends and my wife’s family members for the first time.

Canada isn’t much different from the U.S., and yet, it is still a bit foreign. I didn’t care much about seeing the scenes. I care more about seeing the people. Thank you for welcoming us with open arms. We appreciate all the love you gave us. It was such a meaningful trip.

In addition to seeing our loved ones, we spent time together as a family. My mother-in-law is 82 now and it is such a blessing that she can still travel with us. Not too many seniors her age can travel hours in the car and walk to places.

Traveling with four boys was chaotic, but we managed to have fun. I am glad my wife decided to make a family trip out of it. I got to spend two days with my friends and the rest with our family. The schedule turned out great. I would love to turn it into our annual summer trip.

It started with Đạo last week. He had a fever and headache. Then Đán had a stomachache. He used the bathroom every half an hour. I was debating whether I should cancel their Summit camp, but my wife let them attend.

I volunteered to drive the Scout troops to Summit, which was five hours away. Last Saturday, the night before the trip, I started coughing. In addition, I worried too much, I couldn’t sleep. I worried about Đạo and Đán. Because our newer minivan was still in the shop, I had to take the old minivan. The AC minivan had been inconsistent. I worried about their comfort.

Due to lacking of sleep, I asked my wife to come with me on Sunday. I needed help driving back. As soon as we got back home after over 10 hours on the road, I took a bath and went straight to bed around 8:00 pm. I took some cough syrup and it seemed to help. I am feeling better today, but still can’t rollerblade because of my gout.

Today both my wife and Xuân got sick. I hope they will recover before Friday so we can go to Canada as planned. Nothing seemed to work in our favor. This summer is not going too well so far. I hope Vương and my mother-in-law won’t be next.

My toe gout is slowly going away. I can’t wait for it to be completely gone so I can go back to the skateparks. I must have gained 10 pounds in the last two weeks from eating and sitting around waiting impatiently for my foot to heal.

We’re about to head to Canada next week, but our minivan is still at the dealer. At this time, our insurance is still investigating the damage. It is most likely that our car won’t be ready by next week. We’re screwed. I am going to fight this battle all the way with the insurance company. So if they want to drag it on, I’ll keep dragging it on.

I hate dealing with these types of inconveniences, but I have to. I putting myself under these pressures? It comes down to spending issue. I am not like going broke any time soon, but I keep worrying about it. Anyway, I just need to chill the fuck out. I tell myself that all the time, but I still can’t do it.

It’s already been 12 days and my gout flare is only getting worse. I could barely walk yesterday. Last night, I was in so much pain I couldn’t sleep. Aleve doesn’t do the trick any more. I am still limping around the whole day today. This is my worst gout flare yet.

I haven’t done any physical activities in the past 12 days. I am going to spend my weekend resting—both my foot and my mind. I can’t be stressed out anymore. There’s no point in putting myself under stress. Whatever happens let it happen. I can’t control anything.

I need to get over this gout flare. I also need to think about my lifestyle. The food I eat and the alcohol I drink. I am getting older now. I really need to take things easy. I will be much more careful in the winter. I can’t afford getting attack during the skiing/snowboarding season.

After 9 days, my gout attack hasn’t gone away. I am still limping on the right foot. I missed rollerblading at the skatepark and practicing snowboarding in my basement. It is such a drag.

After 14 days, Ourisman Toyota has found the root cause of the airbag warning light. It will cost over $3,000 to fix the issues. I am waiting on our insurance coverage.

Our home has become funereal after I created the Wifi schedule. The kids are upset with me. Even my wife is not happy. In fact, she hasn’t been happy in a long time. I am deeply concerned.

Just when I thought we were heading in the right direction, things begin to derail. The last few weeks has been stressful, but I have to keep moving. I can’t let money holding me down. I can’t let stress holding me back.

I can’t make everyone happy, but I just have to continue to do all I can for this family.