Yesterday was the first day since you were born that I got to spend alone with you. I enjoyed every moment of it. Seeing smile puts a smile on my own frowning face. You observed me cleaning up the dishes, doing the laundry and folding clothes. You kicked your feet with excitement every time I play with you. You laughed out when I joked with you.

You enjoyed the scene when we strolled to the library. You fell asleep halfway there; therefore, I took all the time that I needed to check out the books. You eat well. You sleep well. You smile a lot. You’re also a tough boy. Your big brother has been giving to rough love, but you took it and smile. The only time you cried when he butted his head on your face. Even I can’t endure his hard head; therefore, I feel your pain.

At five month, you have already showed tremendous personality. You’re already making sounds and trying to talk. You show big laugh when people are talking to you. Your mom told me that you woke up at four in the morning and smiling at her. I really love this about, son. Please keep on smiling my dear and you’ll have a much enjoyable life. We love you dearly.

Many thanks to the caring mamas for sending me tips and techniques to deal with Dao’s hitting problem. They reiterate and emphasize that spanking him is not the right solution. I was not quite convinced because it is not about me being tough. It’s about getting him to listen. A visit to the pediatrician last Friday, however, changed my mind.

I took Dao in for his three-year check up. He’s doing well. Still growing even though he hardly eats. He interacted with the pediatrician. She asked him what his name and he replied, “Dao.” She asked him his age and he replied “three.” She asked, “Are you a boy or girl?” He replied, “girl.” We laughed.

She asked me if I have any question and I brought up the hitting issue. To sum it up her point was that, “If I spank him, he would think it’s ok to use violence to solve problem.” That makes sense. My wife also told me one time, that Dao was playing with his trains and he told the first train to go, but the train didn’t move. So he said to the train, “You don’t listen. You’re being bad. I am going to hit you.”

Since the heated argument with my wife, I have not spanked him and he has picked that up. He knows he can get away with it. Now if he hit me and I tried to distract him, he would find a way to scratch me. This kid sure knows how to push the button, but I remain as calm and as patience as I could be. We’re just talking to him and hopefully one fine day he’ll snap out of it.

Can’t believe you’re turn three today. What a year it has been. Life changes as you begin to discover the world and explore your identity.

You’re now a big brother. Sometimes you might feel like your little brother take over all the attention, but reassure that our love for you have not changed. Because we love you so much that we don’t want you to go through life all by yourself. Believe me, having a brother will be one of the biggest gifts you have ever received. Your mom and I won’t be around you forever, but your brother will for the most part of your life. So love each other and be there for each other. Your mom and I will be extremely happy if we could see that bond between you two.

In the past few months, I have been a little rough on you because you are a tough kid. I promise you that you will have many freedoms in life, but right now I just want you to have the respect and the discipline. I don’t expect much. Just a few simple rules and principles. You’re a bright kid and I know that you understand, but you choose not to listen. Whenever I picked you up from school, you would ask me, “Daddy, do you have something special for me? I want something special. I listen to you daddy. I listen to you daddy.” After we picked out some candies from the store, I said that we have to go home and wash your hand before you could eat it and you followed. Why can’t you do that at other times too?

While you have some issues to straighten out, you’re a terrific kid. We love you, kiddo. Have a wonderful birthday, Dao. And May too.

Last Saturday my sister-in-law had a welcome home party for her newborn. One of her friends who has two daughters came by. Fifteen minutes later, the eleven-year-old girl wanted to go home because she was bored. Her mother told her they they just got here. The girl got mad and punched her mother in her back. The mother who is one of the sweetest ladies I know didn’t respond. Later on when we were sitting around chatting, the younger daughter (seven or eight years old) came up to her and asked for something. She didn’t allow and once again she was punched by the younger daughter.

Seeing kids disrespecting their parent in the public breaks my heart and I feel her pain. We’re in a similar situation with Dao. I get infuriated when he hit his little brother, mom and grandma. I do not tolerate that kind of behavior. The problem is that words have not registered into his head. When he hit me, I told him, “Do not hit me. That’s not nice.” He hit me again and I told him, “You hit me one more time and you’re going to get slapped.” He hit me the third time, I slapped his hand a bit hard so he could remember what would happen when he hit people. I reminded him, “This is the punishment you get when you hit people.” The situation reminded me of how I used to deal with bullies in middle school. Of course, he screamed at the top of his lung as if I just beat the crap out of him. He learned his lesson then, but then nothing registered.

As a parent, the guilt of hitting your kid hurts you more than it hurts him, but what can I do when talking to him is like talking to a wall. My wife has a different approach. Whenever he hit her or other people, she distracted him by directing his attention to something else. The problem with this approach, as I see it, is that she’s not addressing the real issue. Avoiding it is not a solution. I don’t like using that method. I want a more direct communication. I want him to understand that hitting people is not appropriate. If he does it to us and we don’t respond, he’ll do it to other kids his age. I am sure other kids will beat him up if he does that to them. That’s the kind of things I would like to avoid.

Last Friday, my wife and I had a heated argument about it. She gets tired of hearing him cry almost everyday. I feel the same way, but it is better to discipline him now before it gets too late. As always, I lost the argument; therefore, I am backing down and let her do her things with him. I just hope that as time goes by I won’t witness what I had seen last Saturday.

My sister-in-law gave birth to a baby boy a few weeks ago; therefore, my mother-in-law had moved to her house to help out. My sister-in-law lives three-minute drive, without red light, from our house. Now each morning we dropped Dan off to her before heading to work.

Her day is filled with looking after Dan, helping out my sister-in-law and her kid, cooking for seven people and taking care of grandpa. If Dao gets sick and stays home, she watches him too. The best part is that she does all of that with a smile and not a word of complain. In my book, she’s a super grandma.

My wife brought the Graco DuoGlider for $37, the best bargain price for a stroller ever. I use it almost everyday after work to walk the boys around the blocks. Even though it is a bit clumsy to fold and taking up a bit of space in the trunk, I can’t really complain.

Yesterday morning, lil Dan work up around 6 and Dana woke me up also to look after him so she could crawl back to bed with Dao. The weather was around 40s, which was a bit chilly for a walk, but I took him out anyway. I just had to double up the blanket. We walked to University Mall for some Dunkin’ Donuts and Saxby coffee. He fell back to sleep after five minutes we left the house. I loaded up 5by5 for some geeky podcasts.

These days 5by5 has been visited on my iPhone quite often. I caught up all the episodes of The Web Ahead. Jen Simmons is a fantastic host with an awesome lineup. I also listened to some of The Big Web Show with Jeffrey Zeldman as well Content Talks with Kristina Halvorson. Both are excellent. I am also going through some The Talk Show podcasts with John Gruber. I am also listening to some of Shop Talk with Chris Coyier and Dave Rupert.

Let’s get back to the kids. Around 3pm yesterday, neither of the boys wanted to take a nap. The quickest solution was taking them out for a walk. The boys got to take a nap and I got to do some exercise. It was like killing three birds with one stone. So I walked for almost three hours and the kids slept for three hours until time for dinner.

Everything was fine until Dao started coughing. He coughed until midnight before he could go to bed. I knew that the next day he wouldn’t be able to go to daycare. I ended up taking a day off work to be with him. I also took him to the doctor and turned out that he has allergy. The pollen got to him when we were walking outside yesterday. Poor kid. The little guy is doing fine though. He’s awesome!

Getting Dao to brush his teeth takes quite a bit of patience and effort. He doesn’t quite get the important of brushing his teeth yet. So I gave him a little demonstration last night using Photoshop.

I pulled up a recent photo of him and zoomed into his smiley face. I selected the yellow stains on his teeth using the Magic Wand Tool and pointed out to him, “You see all that germs running around your teeth?” He replied, “Yeah, like Curious George.” He referred to one of Curious George’s episodes on germs. I said, “That’s right and if you don’t brush your teeth, this is what is going to happen to your teeth.” I slowly darkened his teeth by adjusting the image’s level. He quickly ran into the bathroom and asked me to brush his teeth. I just took my time and did it slowly without having to hold him down. Afterward, he held water in his mouth and spat it out saying, “Go away germs. Go down the hole.”

With the daylight saving time changed this morning, he didn’t get up until almost 8 o’clock. I told him to go brush his teeth and the reaction was “no.” So I reminded him what happened yesterday if he doesn’t want to brush his teeth. He quickly got up and ran into the bathroom and we did the same thing we did last night. After we all done, he said, “The germs in my mouth are gone.”

I am not sure who long this method would last, but the message is definitely effective.

Seeing my wife breastfeeding my boy makes me understand why many women, especially working mother, don’t want to breastfeed their kids. It’s a hard commitment. She has to pump milk every few hours when she’s at work. Fortunately she has a very flexible job. Because breastfeeding baby gets hungry more often during the night, she has to stay up more often to feed him.

On top of all of that, Dana has to watch her diet. Our lil Dan has eczema and he gets worse whenever she eats beef or seafood. Now she has to give her favorite food like steak, lobster and crab for the sake of the baby. She doesn’t have to give up any of that if she simply gives him formula.

Every time I hold lil Dan in my arms, it never ceases to amaze me how a little boy who gets bigger and more beautiful everyday simply by drinking his mother’s milk. There’s a Vietnamese proverb that says, “Uống Nước Nhớ Nguồn” (drink water, remember the root). I say, “Drink milk and remember your mother.” Yes, breastfeeding is hard. It requires tremendous efforts. So my deepest respect goes out to all the mothers who breastfeed her baby.

These days we have tacos almost every week thanks to my mom-to-be sister-in-law. Last night we had tacos again for supper. Whenever I have tacos, I have to have some margarita to go with them. Last night I made a bit too much and I was the only one drinking it. After dinner I was buzzed and yet still had to do my parts: giving Dao a bath, brushing his teeth and putting him to bed.

Taking care of a kid with a bit of a buzz was quite fun actually. I was just bugging out with him. We splashed water all over the bath tube and screamed like drunken college kids. After giving him a bath and putting him on his new diaper, I told him to play in the bedroom so I could take a shower, but he wanted to come inside the bathroom with me. When you have kids, privacy is something that is completely lost. The other day, I was taking a shit while he was standing next to me watching YouTube video on my iPhone.

So I let him sat in while I took a shower. He told me to pull the toilet seat cover down so he could sit and wait. When I took off my clothes, he looked and said, “Wow, that’s a big one.” Then he pointed to his own and said, “I have small one.” Oh my goodness, I laughed so hard and I couldn’t wait to tell my wife what her son just said to me. I love this kid. He’s such a funny little boy.

Being a father of a three-year-old and a three-month-old gives me the best and the worst experience at the same time. Lil Dan is at the best phrase of his life. Even when the eczema irritates him, he puts on beautiful smiles every time we talk to him. I love holding him in my arms until he falls asleep. Even though I am encouraging a bad habit, he’s only being this good for a short period of time. I know how fast time has passed by so I am just going to hold on to the precious moments as long as I can. By the time he hits two or three, that’s when the worst comes out.

Dao is now in that terrible-three stage. It’s not his fault though. It’s mostly our fault because we’re not sure how to handle him. In fact, I have to give him props for being a pioneer. Dao is a bright and imaginative kid; therefore, he challenges us and prepares us for his younger siblings. I am still learning my ways around him. This past week things seemed to be much smoother than the previous weeks. I have learned one important key: not to let him get to me. No matter how frustrated I was with his constant revolts I remained calmed. If he knew that I was furious, he would push it even harder.

So now on weekdays from 6pm to 10pm he has my full attention. I wish I could spend more time with Dan, but this is the critical moment for Dao. Besides, I am sure Dan is very content with his mom. In these four hours, my focus is to feed him dinner, give him a bath and brush his teeth. As long as we can accomplish those three taks, we can play all he wants.

With that said, Dao is very funny sometimes. Here’s a clip that he’s trying to breastfeed his little brother. When I took a little dinosaur toy and touched his cheek with it, he said, “Khung long (dinosaur) please don’t eat me. Eat grass.”