Today I walked by a mom who was having a difficulty getting her toddler to calm down. He was kicking and screaming while she appeared frustrated and a bit embarrassed. I didn’t intervene, but I understood the helplessness. I have been through it for many years.

Parenting is not easy and I have always contradicted myself. I want to give the kids freedom, but I need obedience in return. I get emotional when reward is paid with bad behavior. It drives me nuts and makes me feel betrayed again and again.

During our family reunion, one of our uncles predicted that I will have a big problem when the boys become teenagers. It was apparent that I had no control over their behavior. They hardly listened to what I said until some yelling and banning (screen time) occurred.

I am doing the best I could for them. They are smart kids and they should have a chance to learn and to grow themselves. I should not have to do everything or make all the decisions for them. As long as they won’t fuck up really bad. I am OK with that.

Hôm nay đưa Xuân đến trường em không còn khóc nữa. Em ngoan ngoãn vào sân chơi với các bạn. Chỉ ngày thứ tư mà hết khóc thì giỏi lắm.

Xuân đã bắt đầu nói. Chữ đầu tiên là “mine.” Cái gì cũng mine hết. Mỗi lần Xuân muốn ba mang giày cho Xuân thì Xuân đem giày rồi đập tay xuống ghế ra dấu hiệu cho ba ngồi xuống để Xuân leo vào lòng ba.

Gần tháng nay, mỗi lần ị, Xuân chỉ vào mong và nói “poop.” Ba không còn phải ngử nữa.

Our little Xuân is adjusting well at the new daycare. The scream at the drop-off this morning only lasted a minute. He was sitting with his teacher when I walked by the romper room. He seems to enjoy all the activities, like playing with water, at the new school. He is just not eating much these days.

Đạo and Đán get to stay home with mommy. Summer camps are way too expensive. They get to hang out with each other while mom is working. They also get to sleep in late and do nothing academic for a while. Let them breathe and take life easy. They do need to do all kind of activities all the time. I would love to have free time on my hand like I used to have when I was a little kid.

Today Xuân started daycare at the Jewish Community Center. At the drop-off, he screamed as expected. Still, it was painful to walk away. He did fine for the rest of the day. I hope he’ll get over it sooner rather than later. I am sure he’ll do fine, but it is still hard hearing your own kid bawling.

When I asked Đán to turn off his game for dinner, he smacked the iPad against his forehead. I tossed the iPad to the floor and told him not to touch it again. He cried, “daddy,” repeatedly, but I refused to talk to him. I was angry. I just could not stand seeing him self-destruct. What’s next? He would bang his head against the wall if he doesn’t get what he want?

I am so fed up with the constant fighting and bickering between Đạo and Đán. I had to repeat myself like a broken record trying to get them to stop, but they wouldn’t until they punched or scratched each other.

As we were walking on the boardwalk in Wildwood, New Jersey, I told Đạo I wanted to ride the Spring Shot. Đạo replied, “No. The strings will break because you are too heavy. I don’t want you to die.” What a smart and careful boy who always think ahead.

Đán: Do Vietnamese people respect nature?
Dad: Of course, we do.
Đán: Then why did you cut down the trees?
Dad: Oh! My bad.

Dad: So, are you a boy or a girl?
Đạo: I am both.
Dad: How?
Đạo: I act like a boy, but I scream like a girl.

Đán: Daddy, you are illustrated.
Dad: What is illustrated mean.
Đán: It means you don’t know anything.
Dad: I think the word is illiterate.
Đán: I don’t like that word so you are illustrated.

Dad: Đạo, give your brother a hug and kiss goodbye.
Đạo: Bye Đán.
Đán: Bye Đạo.
Dad: You guys are so nice to each other [after Đạo left].
Đán: I still don’t like his ketchup breath.