When Đán and Xuân first started piano lessons three years ago, we didn’t know if they would commit to it. We didn’t buy a piano. We hauled a free electric one from a family down a few blocks from us. The piano was made in Korea; therefore, everything was written in Korean. It needed a giant electric converter that was heavy and as big as a shoebox.

Both Đán and Xuân played well in the beginning. They picked up quickly and played “Ode to Joy” beautifully. Then the novelty wore off and they started to drag their fingers. They didn’t bother to practice. They took three to four weeks to play one tune. They refused to perform at the recital.

Ðán blamed his setback on the piano. He complained that the pedals weren’t working and some of the keys didn’t produce any sound. He wanted a real acoustic piano, not an electric one. I told him the story of one of the renowned Vietnamese composers and songwriters. When he was learning to play piano, his family couldn’t afford one. He drew the keys on cardboards and played with the sounds in his head. If Nguyễn Ánh 9 managed to do that and became one of Vietnamese beloved musicians, Trương Công Đán can do that too if he puts his heart into it.

Every time Đán asked for a new piano, I would repeat that story. We did that for almost a year. I wanted to know if he would continue to take piano lessons or if would just quit like the rest of the activities he started and gave up. Even though he didn’t want to perform due to stage fright, he continued to take lessons. We had several conversations about it and he convinced me that piano lessons were a way for him to relax. He wanted to play for himself instead of for others. I was cool with it. I no longer required him to perform. I don’t even ask him to practice.

Xuân still performed at the recitals. He struggled as the lessons got more challenging. He didn’t practice much either. Nevertheless, he hasn’t quit. As long as we can afford these private lessons, we are willing to provide them the opportunities. We hope that they’ll appreciate them later on. That’s all we can hope for.

A few weeks ago, I decided to just get a decent piano off Facebook Marketplace. I obviously knew nothing about piano and almost got scammed. I reached out to our kids’ instructor. He even drove to the seller’s house to inspect the instrument and tested out the keys. With his help, we picked up a Kawai K-200 upright. He also put us in contact with the mover company that he trusted. The piano is still in great condition. We couldn’t have done it without his help. We appreciated his support.

As I have suspected, a better piano doesn’t mean more practice. I haven’t seen them sit down to practice unless their mom started to yell at them. I am done with constantly having to remind them to practice. I just enjoy having a gorgeous piano sitting in our living room.

Last Friday, I went to Costco and picked up a cardboard representation of a JBL Live 675NC wireless headphone for $60 (after $40 off). After paying for it, I went to the merchandise-pickup location to swap the cardboard for the actual product. An employee gave me a box with white paper wrapped around it.

When I got home, I ripped off the white paper and the box revealed the Sony WH1000XM5/SA box, which cost $280 (after $70 off). It was obviously a mistake. Should I keep it or should I return it? I asked my kids to see what they would do. One of them suggested I should keep it while the rest of my kids and my wife suggested that I should do the right thing.

I just wanted to see how well we raised our kids. Costco probably couldn’t care less, but the employee could be in trouble for his mistake. Yesterday, I went back to make the corrections. They made me wait so they could track down who made the mistake. In addition, they checked the video recording to make sure I was not stealing it.

Yesterday evening started off as just a typical Wednesday. I came home from work, ate a quick dinner, then chauffeured Đán and Xuân to their piano lessons. We went back home, dropped Ðán off, then headed to Daddy Volleyball Night. Xuân and Vương would tag along so they could hang out with their scout buddies. Since Vương had a fractured arm, I didn’t take him with us. I didn’t want him to play around, which might make his injury worse.

Dads played several games of volleyball, laughing, and joking around. At around 9:50 pm, Xuân came up to me to inform me that he just vomited after eating half a cookie with his friend. His lower lip also looked swollen. I left the game and took him home. On the way, he complained that he started having chest pain. I called my wife and decided to head to the emergency room instead.

Xuân informed the doctor that his throat and tongue were itchy. His breathing was fine, but he experienced some chest pain. He met all the allergic symptoms; therefore, they administered him allergic medication through the IV line. Benadryl knocked him out. They monitored him until 1:00 am before they released him.

Right after the incident, I asked the other kid’s dad if he knew what kind of nuts were in the cookie. He replied, “Walnut,” and immediately apologized. I told him it was not his fault and it was not his kid’s fault either. His kid did ask Xuân if he had an allergy before sharing his cookie. Xuân didn’t have any allergic reactions in the past, but now we know.

Even though it was not his fault, the dad said sorry. It was just the right thing to say. I am glad that common courtesy still exists. For a minute, I thought we had lost decency. If “Sorry seems to be the hardest word,” simply “Is he OK?” would be sufficient.

The good news is that the cast keeps Vương’s arm in place; therefore, he doesn’t need surgery yet. Because the fractured bone is so close to his elbow, it can be moved. He’ll have to come back next week for another x-ray to determine if he wouldn’t need surgery at all. It’s another week of patiently waiting.

The bad news is that Vương won’t be able to ski this winter. The fracture will need three to four months to completely heal. Our annual winter break ski trip might need to be cancelled this year. Our family skiing experience won’t be the same without him on the slopes. He’s an integral part of the crew. He always led us into the trees. Watching him grow as a skier and riding alongside with him had always been a joy for me. Hopefully, he will be able to join us in January, 2026.

Anyway, shit happens. We’ll just have to adjust our plans and adapt to our circumstances. His recovery is our priority right now. Everything else can wait.

It has been 10 days since Vương’s arm is fractured. Today we need to take him back to the pediatric orthopedic for an x-ray to determine if he would need surgery or not.

The last 10 days seemed like eternity. I constantly have to remind him not to move his fractured arm around too much. I have been praying that he wouldn’t need surgery to put a screw in his bone.

We were talking about skiing at dinner last night and Vương said sadly, “I am not going to be able to ski or snowboard.” Damn! That cut like a knife. If he won’t need surgery, he will be out of his cast in less than 3 weeks.

Needless to say, I couldn’t sleep last night. I couldn’t stop thinking about it. As I am writing this post, I am feeling butterflies in my stomach. I am taking the day off from work because I am not going to be able to concentrate on anything else other than his arm.

This is the first time in my life that I am dealing with bone injuries. I hope it is my last. Vương is the one with the fractured bone and yet it hurts me more than I am being injured myself. I am praying that his bone is healing well and no surgery required.

After the kids went to bed on Saturday night, the dads kicked back at the campfire. We passed around two of my favorite Japanese whiskey bottles: Yamazaki 12 and Hibiki Master Select. Around midnight, I couldn’t keep my eyes open anymore due to the lack of sleep the previous night. I said goodbye to everyone and went back to our tent.

Despite the cold weather, Xuân was already knocked out after a full day of activities. I opened up the other sleeping bag and found Peanut, Vương’s favorite stuffed-animal dragon. The alcohol got me emotional. Vương was sleeping here last night with his mom, but they went home to sleep because Vương fractured his upper left arm. His mom and I took him to an urgent care nearby to take an x-ray. He had to wear an elbow brace to keep his arm from mobilizing.

Since his left arm was fractured, I helped him with his dinner. Suddenly, he asked me, “Daddy, do you remember the water fountain where you make a wish then toss a coin?” I replied, “Yes, son. I remember.” He asked further, “Does the wish come true?” I hesitated and asked him, “Why do you ask?” He responded, “I wish for my arm to heal.” I promised him, “Tomorrow after camping, I will take you to find a fountain. You have to heal fast so that you can learn to snowboard this season.” He replied, “Yes, I will learn to snowboard with you because you’re a good snowboard patrol.” He meant to say instructor.

As I was tossing and turning in my sleeping bag, I visualized his scrawny body, repeated his words in my mind, and wept in silence. I knew deep down he would be alright, but I couldn’t control my emotions.

Tối thứ Bảy sau khi đám nhóc đi ngủ, mấy ông cha ngồi quanh lửa hồng thư giãn, trò chuyện, và nhâm nhi tí rượu cho đỡ lạnh. Tuy hai chai whiskey Nhật tôi rất thích (Yamazaki 12 và Hibiki Master Select), đến 12 giờ khuya thì cặp mắt tôi mở hết lên vì đêm hôm trước cũng ngủ trễ. Tôi chào anh em và trở về lều.

Tuy thời tiết khe khẽ lạnh, Xuân đã ngủ say sau một ngày sinh hoạt và chạy nhảy. Tôi chui vào túi ngủ kế bên thì tìm thấy Peanut, con rồng nhồi bông màu xanh lá cây của Vương. Đi đâu nó cũng lôi Peanut theo cả. Tôi ôm Peanut mà sống mũi cay cay. Đêm hôm qua Vương ôm Peanut và ngủ với mẹ nó trong cái túi ngủ này. Đêm nay hai mẹ con đã về nhà vì xương ở khuỷu tay của nó bị nứt lúc sáng. Tôi và mẹ nó đã đưa nó đến phòng dịch vụ y tế khẩn cấp chụp x-ray và băng bó tạm thời cho nó.

Nhìn thấy thân hình gầy gò với nỗi đau đớn của nó, người làm cha này xót xa vô cùng. Nước mắt tôi không thể cầm được khi nhớ lại cuộc trò chuyện của hai cha con lúc ăn cơm chiều. Nó chỉ được cử động một tay nên tôi giúp nó ăn cơm. Bỗng nhiên nó hỏi, “Daddy còn nhớ cái hồ phun nước mình ước nguyện rồi ném đồng xu xuống không”? Tôi trả lời, “Yes, con. Daddy nhớ”. Nó hỏi tiếp, “Vậy ước nguyện đó có thành sự thật không”? Tôi hỏi lại, “Con hỏi để làm gì”? Nó trả lời, “Con muốn ước nguyện cho tay con sớm lành”. Tôi mỉm cười trả lời, “Ngày mai sau giờ cắm trại ba sẽ đưa con đi tìm hồ phun nước để con ước nguyện nhé. Con phải mau lành vì mùa đông sắp đến rồi. Con đã hứa năm nay sẽ học snowboard với daddy.” Nó đáp lại, “Yes, con sẽ học snowboard với ba vì daddy là một người thầy dạy snowboard rất giỏi”.

Có thể men rượu đã tăng xúc động nên tôi đã bật khóc tuy biết được nó sẽ sớm hồi phục và đây cũng không phải chuyện to lớn. Trẻ con chơi với nhau, chuyện không may xảy ra cũng bình thường thôi. Tôi không trách móc mấy đứa nhỏ. Cám ơn chú bác biết chuyện đã hỏi thăm cháu.

Đạo is already a junior in high school. He hasn’t shared much with me about his school work. I reminded him about PSAT, SAT, and college preparations. I hope he will step step up and take charge of his future. He’s a bright young man. He just needs to devote more time on academics and less time on digital devices.

Đán has been killing it in school. His progress reports have been excellent. He stays up late to do his homework. Though I would rather see him finishing his homework first before playing video games. Nevertheless, he gives me some peace of mind knowing that he cares about his education.

Since school started, Xuân and I are reading together A Century of Poetry in The New Yorker 1925 – 2025 for 20 minutes each day. I can tell the improvement in his reading even though neither of us understand all of the poems. Somehow he has been able to keep going and not given up. Xuân struggles with Spanish and I can’t help him much. We need to get him tutoring.

After trying to teach Đán and Xuân to read over the years, I am glad to see that Vương is a good reader. We have been reading The World According to Mister Rogers together for 15 minutes a day. Even though he doesn’t like the book too much, we are more than halfway through the book. He can read, but doesn’t enjoy doing it. Maybe we should go the library to let him pick out his own books.

The world out there has been insane these days. I focus my attention on my kids instead.

After almost a week, Đạo apologized for his behavior. Of course, I accepted his apology and gave back his phones and laptop. I love him to death, but not unconditionally. I need to be firm with him when I need to.

Đán and I are cool too. We don’t speak much, but I learned about his thoughts and feelings through his blog. His posts helped me started conversations with him. I am glad that I assigned daily blogging to him in the summer. I hope he will continue to write. His posts remind me of my early blogging days. I blogged to get things off my chest and released my tension. They helped. We talked about our struggles. We talked about how do deal with scams and losing money. He thanked me for the talk. I thanked him as well. He can come and talk to me anytime.

I want to treat all my kids the same, but I just can’t. They are different in age. They have their own personality. I can’t apply a blanket approach to them. When they were younger, I wanted us to do everything together, but they have different interest. I need to stop feeling bad for not getting the entire crew together. Of course, it would be ideal to bring everyone together, but it seems selfish for me to demand their time to spend with me. Obviously, whenever they want to, they can always hangout with me. Otherwise, I just going to cut them lose.

Since my dad was hardly around me when I was a kid, I always thought that I needed to spend time with my kids. Now I feel as if I am forcing them to spend time with me when they would rather spend with their friends or digital devices. Now I give them the space to do things on their own. Maybe I am not the best person to be around with. I am too damn boring.

On Saturday, all four of our boys wanted to have a sleepover at their cousins’ house. Ðán and his cousin stayed up until 5 am Sunday. They spent most of their time playing video games. I was horrid, but not surprised. When unsupervised, they didn’t know their limit.

At home, I would ask them to turn off their devices and take a break. If they didn’t comply, I would just shut down the entire internet. No one else seemed to be concerned about their digital addiction. Am I over-worrying?

The digital conflicts have decided us. My kids don’t want to spend time with me anymore, and Đán in particular. It hurts me, but I let them make their own choice. I don’t want to be a controlling dad.

I have been going to the skatepark by myself. Even though I am not excited about rollerbi anymore, I need to do some exercise. Xuân has not wanted to tag along. As he’s picking up swimming, he is leaving scooter behind.

As they are growing, they are dropping everything else and spending more time on their digital devices. I am hoping they will stick with the winter sports, but I doubt it. Ðán is getting bored with snowboarding. We used to pay thousands and thousands of dollars for our seasonal passes until I became a snowboarding instructor last year. My pass was free and my family’s passes were almost free. Since they are no longer obligated to go, they will be less likely to go.

It’s a shame that they are taking their privileges for granted. Not too many kids get the opportunity they do. Of course, I loved for them to go. I always had a great time skiing or snowboarding with them, but I wouldn’t feel so bad if they didn’t want to take advantage of the passes I made available to them. Even all of our gears were new. I tuned and waxed them regularly so we could have a wonderful experience on the snow.

My wife always chastises me for making them do things that I wanted to do—going to the skateparks or the ski resorts. She and the kids got me into these sports in the first place. As they got bored and moved on, I just haven’t quit.

I have become an uncool dad for not allowing them to stay on their devices for as long as they wanted. My kids don’t want to hang out with me. That’s OK. I am their dad, not their peers. I am always here and I would do anything with them with the exception of spending hours and hours in front of the screens.