Obsessive Anxiety

I was on winter break for the past three weeks; therefore, I hadn’t had a chance to listen to podcasts. I am now catching up on some Fresh Air interviews. One particular interview, in which Terry Gross talked with Jamie Raskin, caught my attention. Gross asked Raskin about his son, Tommy, who committed suicide.

Tommy was a smart, funny, progressive young man who went to Harvard Law School. Toward the end of his college years, Tommy fell into depression and obsessive anxiety. He wondered if he had hurt someone’s feelings by what he had said to them. These thoughts obsessed him to the point that he took his own life.

I said a number of not-so-nice things to people in their face and wrote unpleasant words about people on this blog. Those were my thoughts at the moment. I might hurt their feelings and I apologize. I wish I could take back my words, but I can’t. If people can’t get over my words then fuck them. I won’t let these thoughts get me to the place where I would end my life.

If you are a good friend who has a problem with me, let’s get in touch and rekindle our friendship. If you are a family member who has an issue with me, let’s talk and reconnect our relationship. If you don’t want to, I am totally fine. When I was younger, I was obsessed with pleasing everyone one. I wanted everyone to like me or love me. I lived in fear and depression. Now that I am getting older, I just don’t give a fuck anymore.

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