My Klara

Verizon offers me a deal. I can trade in my current phone for a brand new iPhone 13 Pro, which costs $1099.99. It estimated my perfectly fine iPhone 6 Plus for $10. Now I understand the true meaning behind “fair trade.”

Since Apple stopped making iOS updates on my iPhone, the experience felt like playing Squid Game. The game apps, such as Roblox and Plants vs. Zombies my kids played, no longer worked. No games, no problem. I eliminated all game apps. The Amazon app redirected to its website. No shopping, no problem. I uninstalled the Amazon app. The McDonald’s app was slow to a crawl. No free fries, no problem. I removed the McDonald’s app. Starbucks kept prompting me to update every time I opened up its app, but wouldn’t let me update. No Starbucks, no problem. I got rid of the Starbucks app and used Dunkin’ Donuts’ app instead.

In the next few months, more apps will be eliminated as my smartphone becomes dumber and dumber. All that I really need are a phone to make calls, Google Maps or Apple Maps to get me around, and a browser. I really wish I could delete the apps that came with iOS. They are just being grouped together in a folder called “Apple’s craps.” Also that U2 album, Songs of Innocence, just crept up on the Music app no matter how many times I had deleted it. I never purchased it. Apple just shoved in there.

I am going to stay faithful to my iPhone 6. She is my Klara (as in Klara and the Sun). Her technology might be outdated, but she knows everything about me. She knows how much time I spent on social media and how much time I spent on reading. She knows what podcasts I like to listen to. She even reminded me if I was still interested in listening to NPR’s Fresh Air since I hadn’t listened to a couple of episodes.

I even sleep with her; therefore, I am going to ride with her until the end.

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