Self Doubt

I am a terrible human being at times. I regret the way I treat my love ones as well as the people around me. I am trying to be a better person and to set a good example for my kids. I don’t always look at things with a clear head. I have my flaws and my vulnerabilities. I still have trouble controlling my emotion.

I am not anti-social. I just don’t want to get to close to people, which will end up hurting me or hurting them. I try to calm myself, but the more dramas build up the more distress I get. I am learning to let go of the past because I can’t change it. I need to change for the present and the future.

I don’t want to overthink anymore. I am trying not to hold grudges. I just need to move forward. I just need to get myself together. I need to breath and just to live. Fuck you, emotion. I can’t let you ruin my life. I am better than this.

No one wants to admit that he is a horrible person because recognizing it is hard. I wish I don’t, but I do. At times I just feel like I just want to shut out everything and crawl into my own rock. I can’t. I still have a lot of responsibilities. I have kids who are still depending on me.

If I did you wrong, I apologize. I have changed and I am always changing. If you think I don’t like you please talk to me. I am sure that’s not the case. I do care. I am a human. I have a heart. I want to be kind.

Getting all of these off my chest, I am feeling better now. Thank you and have a great weekend.

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