Deactivated Facebook and spent my birthday with my little family. Not that I don’t appreciate seeing birthday wishes on my timeline, I just don’t want people to feel obligated to say something.
Birthday is not a big deal. It just gives me a sense of how long I have on this earth. 30 some more years if some terminal illnesses, like cancer, won’t interrupt my life. I still have plenty of time, but I never know.
Birthday also makes me realize how short life is. I already lived half of my life. Just the thought of leaving this life gives me a pause. I already begin to imagine what will happen when I reach 70. How will I live my life knowing that I could be gone any moment? I am hopeful that by that time I could just say fuck it. I will be ready to go when it is my time to go. Right now I just don’t have that confident.