First Mother President
Louis C.K. explains eloquently why we need the first mother in the White House:
It’s really exciting to have the first mother in the White House. It’s not about the first woman, it’s about the first mom… A mother just does it. She feeds you and teaches you, she protects you, she takes care of shit. We’ve had 240 years of fathers: Bald father, fat father, every kind of father. Fathers are OK. A great father can give a kid 40 percent of his needs—top. Any mother, just a shit mother, just a not even trying mother—200 percent.
We need just a tough bitch mother who nobody likes. If you vote for Hillary, you’re a grownup. If you vote for Trump, you’re a sucker. If you don’t vote for anybody, you’re an asshole.
You heard it right. Don’t be an asshole, and definitely don’t be a sucker. You know what to do.